I’m a GA reader
And have been since September ’09
And the one thing they say about Guildies is
If you make puns you’ll do just fine

You don’t have to read every comment
You don’t have to get a Gold Star
As long as you read every update and
Make bad puns then you will go far

Because…

Every pun is sacred
Every pun is great
If a pun is wasted
Phil gets quite irate
(repeat)

Let the heathens waste theirs
On Digg or Google+
Phil shall make them pay
For each pun not just for us

Every pun is wanted
Every pun is good
Every pun is needed
In your neighborhood

Social media users
Spit puns just anywhere
But Phil loves those who treat their
Wordplay with more care

Every pun is sacred
Every pun is great
If a pun is wasted
Phil gets quite irate

Every pun is sacred
Every pun is good
Every pun is needed
In your neighborhood

Every pun is useful
Every pun is fine
Phil needs everybody’s
Gangler’s, Lockes’, and mine

Let commenters waste theirs
On Reddit and 4chan
Phil will show no mercy
And they shall all be banned

Every pun is sacred
Every pun is good
Every pun is needed
In your neighborhood

Every pun is sacred
Every pun is great
If a pun is wasted
Phil gets quite irate

(the original)

You have no proof of that. None! The only time he’s died so far it’s been outside of frenzy.