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Dude, just give it the Goddamned pic-a-nic basket already.
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Chapter 15 – Page 3

by Phil on February 6, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • Chapter 15

└ Tags: A Dire Bear, Byron

Discussion (62) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. kagato23
    kagato23
    February 6, 2012 at 12:02 am | # | Reply

    Did Syr’Nj consider the possibility that Byron will simply die? Be haunted by the thought that the berserker could have survived this? or the fact that she put him in this situation in the first place?

    I think she’ll find it unbearable.

    • Werbluten
      Werbluten
      February 6, 2012 at 1:01 am | # | Reply

      He’ll be fine. I bet this is barely a concern for Byron and that he’s taking this opportunity to practice his acting skills.

    • Guest
      Guest
      February 6, 2012 at 1:22 am | # | Reply

      I see what you did there.

      She threw him in the woods with just the bear essentials.

      • Amarula
        Amarula
        February 6, 2012 at 10:45 am | # | Reply

        You mean the bear necessities, right?

        • JarrysKid
          JarrysKid
          February 6, 2012 at 12:13 pm | # | Reply

          Are you saying he Baloo it?

          • Brent Felzien
            Brent Felzien
            February 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm | # | Reply

            If he does, Byron will meet a Grizzly fate.

    • jast
      jast
      February 6, 2012 at 1:57 am | # | Reply

      If I were him, I would consider changing firends.

      • JarrysKid
        JarrysKid
        February 6, 2012 at 12:13 pm | # | Reply

        And possibly underwear.

  2. Moe Lane
    Moe Lane
    February 6, 2012 at 12:02 am | # | Reply

    See, this is why you need the shield. POWER BASH! POWER BASH!

    [/skyrim]

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      February 6, 2012 at 12:50 am | # | Reply

      5th panel. FUS ROAR DAH!

      • ahdok
        ahdok
        February 6, 2012 at 6:29 am | # | Reply

        Who uses unrelenting force these days?

  3. Ambitious Sloth
    Ambitious Sloth
    February 6, 2012 at 12:18 am | # | Reply

    Bryon sure is in a dire circumstance right now.

    • ahdok
      ahdok
      February 6, 2012 at 6:31 am | # | Reply

      such a bear-faced pun…

  4. Pikey
    Pikey
    February 6, 2012 at 12:30 am | # | Reply

    Give him the pic-a-nic basket? But what if the ranger sees ‘im?

    • Pikey
      Pikey
      February 6, 2012 at 12:35 am | # | Reply

      “Not to worry, my berserking friend. I shall handle everything!”

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      February 6, 2012 at 12:45 am | # | Reply

      Yogi, more dire than the average bear.

      • Carl-E
        Carl-E
        February 6, 2012 at 2:10 am | # | Reply

        ….and now he has a Boo-boo.

        • Phil
          Phil
          February 6, 2012 at 12:31 pm | # | Reply

          I must give this one to Carl-E.

          Gold Star.

      • zero
        zero
        February 6, 2012 at 6:17 am | # | Reply

        +1

        • Hawk
          Hawk
          February 6, 2012 at 11:31 am | # | Reply

          I second the plus one!

  5. Randonimity
    Randonimity
    February 6, 2012 at 12:32 am | # | Reply

    It certainly looks like the Dire Bear intends to disarm Byron.

    • Arnee
      Arnee
      February 6, 2012 at 3:14 pm | # | Reply

      He is only trying to take away his right to bear arms.

      • Benedikt
        Benedikt
        February 8, 2012 at 7:20 am | # | Reply

        +1

      • Benedikt
        Benedikt
        February 8, 2012 at 7:21 am | # | Reply

        And another
        +1
        For your double pun.

        • Freako
          Freako
          February 16, 2012 at 5:01 am | # | Reply

          +2
          Punception!

  6. The Indomitable Eric
    The Indomitable Eric
    February 6, 2012 at 12:53 am | # | Reply

    Byron just dislodged a pesky popcorn kernel that’s been in that bear’s teeth for a week. A WEEK.

  7. SaltyKracka
    SaltyKracka
    February 6, 2012 at 12:54 am | # | Reply

    Hey! That was my fapping arm!

  8. minion
    minion
    February 6, 2012 at 1:03 am | # | Reply

    mostly ‘armless

  9. Pierce
    Pierce
    February 6, 2012 at 1:16 am | # | Reply

    Did Byron just attempt a double-axe shoryuken?

    All in all if I’m reading this right, Byron just lost his left axe in the bear, dropped his other one, and isn’t in any position to do anything more than get eaten to the bear bones.

    • Mujaki
      Mujaki
      February 6, 2012 at 3:52 am | # | Reply

      He’s still got his shoulder blades!

    • JJ
      JJ
      February 6, 2012 at 1:59 pm | # | Reply

      Nah, the bear just brought the left axe back

  10. SteelRaven
    SteelRaven
    February 6, 2012 at 1:56 am | # | Reply

    If the bear eats Byron, does it get his spot on the team?

    • JarrysKid
      JarrysKid
      February 6, 2012 at 12:15 pm | # | Reply

      As a bearzerker?

  11. bugstomper
    bugstomper
    February 6, 2012 at 2:17 am | # | Reply

    Wait, I thought I clicked the Guilded Age link, how did I end up at Bearmageddon?

    • Robtimus
      Robtimus
      February 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm | # | Reply

      Awesome comic. (Though of course not as awesome as GA.)

  12. King of Zeroes
    King of Zeroes
    February 6, 2012 at 4:35 am | # | Reply

    Byron’s really gotta learn to stop throwing his weapons in the middle of an actual fight unless it will ACTUALLY kill his opponent.

    This is a BEAR. That is its ARM. Hunters have been known to shoot bears in the face and not kill them. BUT PULLING THE TRIGGER DOES NOT DISARM THEMSELVES.

    Methinks our Berserker buddy should stick to killing people shaped things…

    • Freako
      Freako
      February 6, 2012 at 9:42 am | # | Reply

      This is what I thought too at first, but upon closer examination, it looks like the axe got lodged in the bear’s skin in panel 4. Panel 5 is the bear pulling away with the axe, with Byron reaching out for it with his mouth open in shock/dismay.

      He’s still a dolt for losing his weapon, but I guess dire bears have tougher hides than what he’s used to.

      • JarrysKid
        JarrysKid
        February 6, 2012 at 12:11 pm | # | Reply

        Or dire bears are magnetic.

        • Gillsing
          Gillsing
          February 6, 2012 at 3:33 pm | # | Reply

          Animal magnetism? OK.

      • King of Zeroes
        King of Zeroes
        February 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm | # | Reply

        Perspective! I can forgive just being disarmed by abnormally tough bear hide.

        Still. Would have wrassled it myself… missed opportunity if you ask me.

  13. Dusty668
    Dusty668
    February 6, 2012 at 5:23 am | # | Reply

    NOM!

  14. zero
    zero
    February 6, 2012 at 6:18 am | # | Reply

    hmm I just realized I could make Byron for Soul Calibur 5…

  15. Obakeinu
    Obakeinu
    February 6, 2012 at 6:27 am | # | Reply

    I hope Byron’s not too attached to that arm.

    Hmm… big bear. Big big bear.

  16. silenttinsoldier
    silenttinsoldier
    February 6, 2012 at 6:37 am | # | Reply

    Can’t get enough of that Berserker Crisp~

  17. Krogaladin
    Krogaladin
    February 6, 2012 at 6:45 am | # | Reply

    lets see if Byron live up to the legend of Billy!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWUV8Qeofjw

    • Oamu
      Oamu
      February 6, 2012 at 8:12 am | # | Reply

      NOTHUNG!

  18. Frigg Fanboi
    Frigg Fanboi
    February 6, 2012 at 7:43 am | # | Reply

    Looks like someone got caught Bear Handed

    • JarrysKid
      JarrysKid
      February 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm | # | Reply

      That bear certainly has a disarming manner.

  19. Rachel
    Rachel
    February 6, 2012 at 7:51 am | # | Reply

    I don’t believe he threw his other ax, as much as when he cut the bear in the arm, it pulled back taking the other ax with it. He’s going to need to overcome his pain here in order to smash it in the face.

  20. Redo19
    Redo19
    February 6, 2012 at 8:47 am | # | Reply

    If it were me, I’d kill it with my bear hands.

  21. Tito
    Tito
    February 6, 2012 at 8:49 am | # | Reply

    Byron is the worst fighter in the party. He always get severely wounded, and has to resort to a friend-killing gimmick just to make it through.

    Scipio would have chopped the bear´s arm with a single blow, and Frigg would just magic-hammer its skull.

    • HLY
      HLY
      February 6, 2012 at 6:14 pm | # | Reply

      but he’s probably the best strategist, which is what he best contriutes to.

      and the freind killing gimic does make him pretty much unstoppable. he just needs to figure out how to fight at full force without it getting control of him.

  22. maggPi
    maggPi
    February 6, 2012 at 4:42 pm | # | Reply

    “The other day
    I met a bear;
    A great big bear,
    A-way up there!
    “He looked at me.
    I looked at him.
    He sized-up me,
    I sized-up him.
    “He said to me
    ‘Why don’t you run?
    I see you ain’t
    Got any gun.’
    “And so I ran
    Away from there.
    ‘Cause right behind
    Me was a bear.
    “Ahead of me
    There was a tree.
    A great big tree,
    Oh Lordy, me.
    “The nearest branch
    Was ten feet up.
    I had to jump
    And trust my luck.
    “And so I jumped
    Into the air,
    But I missed that branch
    A-way up there!
    “Now don’t you fret,
    Now don’t you frown.
    ‘Cause I caught that branch
    On the way back down!”

    Does any one remember the last verse? The memory lapse is unbearable.

    • Twigs
      Twigs
      February 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm | # | Reply

      According to my internet research, there are two possible endings:

      “That’s all there is, there is no more,
      Unless I meet, that bear once more.”

      or

      “The moral is, no shocking news,
      Don’t talk to bears, in tennis shoes.”

      I must admit I’ve never heard that song/poem before in my life. I was of the “littlest worm” generation of camp songs.

      • maggPi
        maggPi
        February 7, 2012 at 12:17 am | # | Reply

        Awesome! Thank you. The first one is the one I learned, ‘though the tennis shoes one is more fun.
        Also, I’m afraid to ask about the “littlest worm.” It doesn’t do anything super-gross like explore the eye-sockets of unwary campers, I hope. (I had a neighbour with a penchant for scaring the crap out out us younger kids… bleccchhh.)

        • maggPi
          maggPi
          February 7, 2012 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

          I just remembered her comeuppance!
          We were all running through an old house and she was just about to jump out of a dark corner and go “YAAHH!!!” when she swallowed a spider.
          Heh, heh, heh.
          Guess what song I started singing to her?
          Boy did she get mad. Worth it, tho’.

        • maggPi
          maggPi
          February 7, 2012 at 12:31 am | # | Reply

          hm. “out OF us.”

  23. ThePuck1
    ThePuck1
    February 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm | # | Reply

    Huh… this hand needs salt.

    • maggPi
      maggPi
      February 7, 2012 at 12:29 am | # | Reply

      I thought it was dire honey…?

      • ThePuck1
        ThePuck1
        February 7, 2012 at 11:11 pm | # | Reply

        That’s on his face. Clearly, the hand? It needs SALT.

        • Freako
          Freako
          February 16, 2012 at 5:02 am | # | Reply

          I see what you did there. I think.

          Bit of bad luck there, eh Byron?

  24. Heheh
    Heheh
    February 7, 2012 at 11:58 pm | # | Reply

    Wait. Isn’t this thing technically more dangerous than that troll chief?

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