Guilded Age

Wowee! I’m sorry this has taken so long to get around to but Webcomics Con was such a good time that I kind of haven’t had a chance to really wrap my head around business as usual since then. But now I will do my best…

The road was treacherous, but we were determined to get there on time. Despite both of our phones running out of battery due to GPS usage, Google’s incessant insistance that we’re better off going through all these random side-ramps and exits to “cut corners” on I-95. But all such measures proved only to delay us further. As we made it to our destination, we rolled up the twisting, bending path to the Dolce Hotel and Resort in pitch darkness, illuminated only by ourselves and the occasional other vehicle, over a slowly-rolling ground-level fog which gave me the Silent Hilly Willies. Upon entering the establishment, finally, we were relieved to learn that this giant, sprawling, rustic and isolated hotel wasn’t from Silent Hill, but the fucking Shining. To the degree that one of the night clerks even looked remarkably like Stephen King himself.

T and I barely made it to the hotel in time for the big group dinner for guests and staff. It was good and awkward as hell to meet/re-meet all these peeps over a dinner of Milk Steak. As some of the people who were following my G+ back when it was still new I guess, I had a “hilarious idea” to screw with the Webcomics Con staff. Richard had asked me in an e-mail if T and I had any specific dietary needs, and in response I said “T will only eat Reese’s Cups quartered and stacked vertically on a Triscuit. I will have your finest Milk Steak, boiled easy over hard with a side of jellybeans (raw).”

Let this be a warning to future attendees of Webcomics Con: Don’t attempt to screw with Richard in this fashion. He will take you at your word and make you eat your own words. In this case, literally. There was the milk steak, buffet style. Tender cooked pieces of juicy beef covered in a barely-altered heavy cream sauce with a cup of Jelly Beans in the middle. The tastes, combined, pleased more people than expected (apparently opening a brand new avenue for Desert Meats), myself included. Except when I get cinnamon jellybeans in there. I never had a Milk Steak before, and I’m delighted to say that thanks to Richard and the cooking staff at Dolce… I’ll never have to again.

The con began in the morning, and went well for its first year. Traffic was admittedly low, but we managed to sell out the last bit of our advance stock over the two days (with one given away to the Webcomics Con charity). There was an oversight on the seating arrangements, however, as our table was blocked out to be right next to the energy drinks. I seem to recall many of my colleagues put off by the proximity of me and these cases of Monster so close to one another. Their fears not unfounded, my lust for pure sugary energy fuel glistened in my eyes as well as in the tepid pools forming at the corners of my mouth. I paced myself.

Saturday night saw Super Art Fight with Nick Borkowicz just barely edging out a triumph over strong newcomer Chris Hastings. Drunken Racquetball/Volleyball with half of Team Art Fight and the Caf-Fiends followed, then nickelPUNK in concert where Mookie and I performed a dramatization of an epic ballad of hatred and (presumably) blood feud. T jigged at unprecedented speeds, tapping directly into the speed force.

On Sunday, T and I had the pleasure of dining at Bertucci’s (only the finest) with awesome people Gordon McAlpin, team Quiltoni and team Real Life where we housed multi-flavored pizzas while digesting the weekend’s experiences. Greg Dean knows basically everything there is to know about food, and he should charge by the minute for his description of Texas-style brisket.

The attendance was low, as can only be expected from a first year con, but the staff showed us 100% that they were completely committed to running a convention. I look forward to coming back next year, when it moves to a bigger location in the Stamford area (a bold move to have a comic convention on the grounds of a superpower-related tragedy), because we know they’ll be ready for when everyone comes next year! Even though it won’t be in the woody, secluded recreational resort and conference center… I’ll always remember Camp Webcomics.