Here’s a note I made to Phil in the revision process that I think stands up on its own: This strikes me as Byron’s REAL problem with trying to keep close to his adventuring roots. He has people relying on […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I like that the dialogue brings in links to prior scenes, with the mention of Bert followed by Byron reapplying the argument he made to E-Merl two pages earlier. (By the bye, the whole “You’re drinking FOR me” concept comes […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
In fairness, I’m not sure what Braggadocio considers a “meager meal.” We could’ve done more with his previously-established hearing problem, especially in a crowded, raucous environment like this one. I can certainly relate to anyone who has trouble picking voices […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
So here, we needed to strike a balance. Even on his worst day, Ardaic is not without compassion, especially for the soldiers under his command. He can spare a moment to acknowledge Braggadocio’s anguish… But no more than a moment. […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
At least Braggadocio gets to thrash around and get under his enemies’ skin a bit. Poor Bert is just looking down in disbelief, and considering how he’s going to end up after this battle is over, he’s really going to […] ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
