Annotated 18-4
We almost put Naror’Nj’s death in the last panel of the previous page. I talked Phil out of it on the basis that “You are some lesser creature” was still a legitimate cliffhanger and this way we get more of a swerve.
That’s a decent title. Outside the “life points” pun, it’s got a nice “imaginary etymology” going on, like a lot of science-fiction novels of the last century.
We’d already established the variance in avians’ humanlike intelligence with Gondolessa and Yalaria, but they almost all meet a certain baseline, so the commander here is confident his orders will be followed even if they won’t be eloquently repeated. And much like humans, avians’ intelligence is less evident once their adrenaline takes over.
Well, more or less followed… those orders made it sound like the ‘Njs would be the next to die, but you’ve got to eliminate the most dangerous players on the board first or they might kill YOU, and at the moment Syr’Nj and even Faer are helpless with grief. Sorry, unnamed guards. Fortunately, E-Merl is an expert at not looking important.
Ah yes, this page brought me the closest I ever got to a gold star comment. Silly the things one pines for.
Will agree that the layout as it exists gave things more of an oomph. Still brutal.
I def think having it at the start of this page was a good call.
In the sense of that good story telling is having cliffhangers? Yeah, that much is true.
Well, having Naror’Nj die on the previous page would’ve been a cliffhanger too, but it would have made this page much less of a surprise.
With the previous page, it really had me curious what he would do, but dying was definitely the last thing I expected. xD;
I liked it at the beginning of this page. I was gearing up for a good shouting match between Syr and Naror, and that arrow brought it to an unexpected end. I probably reacted much like Syr! Utter shock. It was well scripted. I like the rest of the page too, it feels very chaotic and fast-paced.
It feels magnificently sudden, which I think nicely conveys the shock that everyone involved must be feeling.
Not to mention that the guards are, presumably, doing their jobs and at least trying to protect the ‘Njs.
The sound-effect chosen for the bolt impact makes it seem like wood elf skulls are more solid than human ones. Is that the case? Or was it just a random impact noise selection?
Their skulls are denser only in their perspective of other creatures. They’re still made of flesh and blood.
We’ve occasionally floated the idea that wood elves’ biology is plantlike beyond their skin color, so we might’ve meant for Naror’Nj’s skull to be a bit “wooden.” I think I just wrote what “sounded right” to me for that FX, though.
“Am dead, big surprise” – Narnor’nj’s last thoughts
This is simultaneously hilarious (the timing!) and absolutely horrid (the TIMING!) and I don’t want it, but I love it.
But can he taste key lime pie?
It was this day that Bak’gnd regreted picking his favorite, most lavish hat to attend the party.
They could probably deal a lot more damage if they remained perched on branches, shooting their crossbows, instead of going for melee combat, which is slower and exposes them to being speared by the elven guards. But yeah, the baseline intelligence seems rather low in that bunch.
I would have delayed “My Blossom, I…” to this page. As you said, “lesser creature” is the real cliffhanger, and I think two nearly-identical, juxtaposed panels of Naror’Nj, differing primarily in the presence of a crossbow bolt protruding from his head, would have been more effective. The way it stands, I had to check to see that I hadn’t missed a page in between.
I dig the reference to the Robin Hood crossbow wielding vulture guard. Nice inclusion!