It almost seems vaguely racist. Well, ALMOST, but still. I mean, it’s not like every sentence starts with “Unlike GASTONIANS…” I’m hoping the big twist is that it ISN’T written by humans.
It seems that the word “predisposition” is lacking a letter. That letter, for our viewers at home, is the letter “e”. As usual, my enthusiasm for the grandness that is Guilded Age remains high and my smile wide.
The entry about gnomes is very paternalistic. Subtly racist, in a way that’s hard to explain, in ways that are a little like how Asian people are sometimes regarded in western culture.
–Oh I don’t know. It’s a nod to dwarven (dwarvish?) tenacity if not climbing ability. The implied ellipses about why they came to be snack-pack sand-dwellers is the more glaring (non-)statement.
The dwarves were just too SHORT to keep living in the mountains! We did them a favor, really, but they keep bitching about it. Man, sometimes humans are just TOO awesome.
And those Elves really can’t appreciate their forests. I mean, they don’t even chop them down! If they aren’t going to properly exploit their land, we’ll just move them out into the deserts with the dwarves and give them part of the proceeds so their lives will be so much better…
The Dwarves diminutive stature made climbing difficult. At first, we contempleted having the Gnomes engineer a few staircases and lifting systems. However, upon further consideration, it was decided that the Dwarves would merely drink themselves into a frenzy and destroy all attempts at assistance. As a humanitarian measure, we assisted their race with relocation, partially funded by harvesting deposits of ore located within formerly Dwarven lands.
Brilliant! Someone give Fren an Internet! Those silly ingrate dwarves, demanding reparations of all things, after everything the Gastonians did for them! Could they build sand castles in the mountains? Could they live a contemplative life free of material possesions and all the pain they bring? Could they fully appreciate the low metabolism they are blessed with? I bet no dwarf suffers from obesity now! Geez, dwarves, no wonder no one likes you.
I like the vagueness about *why* the mountain settlements were valuable. It can easily be assumed the settlements were valuable to Gastonians, but gee, wonder why? Maybe the mines…? You know, those wonderful tunnels full of gems and precious-metal-bearing ore…? Naw, dwarves were also too short to work the tunnels they were digging, right? And too stupid to know that their pretty rocks were worth a lot?
Of course I could be completely wrong and going off the old “dwarves r miners” cliche.
You mustn’t think them short shrifted– Lowly dwarves and gnomes just don’t measure up to the heights of other races, so their pages are little less full-bodied.
In Gastonia, the condescension is so thick you can cut it with a knife.
But use a Bohemian Ear-Spoon instead; you’ll want to shed every drop …of blood!
Gastonia will get theirs eventually. I mean, the Sky Elves see them as a bunch of stupid monkeys living on the ground while they live in the skies through use of every day magic that comes naturally to all of them. I have my money on the Sky Elves. :3
There will come a time, when Gastonia and their Gnomish allies discover ground-air missiles… Then we will all sing the Hymn of Gastonia, drink gastonian soda, eat in gastonian franchise-restaurants, all will know every little detail about Gastonia, all will speak gastonian, and the people of Gastonia will be ignorant happy people… wait… they already are. So Sky elves have no chance, while they cast old magic, and squabble with each other. Long live Gastonia! The worlds most advanced homogenic culture, with happy people…
A funny twist would be if the adventuring party ended up getting all the OTHER races into an alliance to go to war with Gastonia. Now THAT would be unexpected on the Gastonians’ part.
i suspect that might be guesswork on the part of the gastonian author…i somehow doubt dwarves lived for years in the mountains only to one day suddenly go “DUDE. our legs are way too short for all this climbing. wtf are we doing living on mountains?!?” and the whole culture made the shift.
or maybe they were FORCED out by the gastonian empire…and this is the cover story.
This kid’s book was written by gnomes, I see.
Sorry to nitpick, but there’s a typo here – you’re missing an ‘e’ in “predisposition”.
It almost seems vaguely racist. Well, ALMOST, but still. I mean, it’s not like every sentence starts with “Unlike GASTONIANS…” I’m hoping the big twist is that it ISN’T written by humans.
“Unlike Gastonians, a highly civilized people.”
Sounds about right to me.
I’m hoping the big twist is what happened to the author’s genitalia after the elves, dwarves, gnomes and other ‘savage races’ got a hold of him…
Oh lawl, autistic gnomes and peasant dwarves.
trail of tears dwarves and autistic gnomes
or possibly walk of shame dwarves http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wqw527ivrQE
Just finished watching it. Any kid dumb enough to copy straight from Wikipedia deserves to fail. You gotta PARAPHRASE!
It seems that the word “predisposition” is lacking a letter. That letter, for our viewers at home, is the letter “e”. As usual, my enthusiasm for the grandness that is Guilded Age remains high and my smile wide.
Thx, fxd!
Give or take an ‘e’, somehow I don’t think children will be all that much wiser about what the word means…
The entry about gnomes is very paternalistic. Subtly racist, in a way that’s hard to explain, in ways that are a little like how Asian people are sometimes regarded in western culture.
The dwarf one is just outright awful though.
Well, they can’t say straight out, “We really do like gnomes; they try to be like us, and they make us pretty things,” can they?
The dwarf one is just outright awful though.
–Oh I don’t know. It’s a nod to dwarven (dwarvish?) tenacity if not climbing ability. The implied ellipses about why they came to be snack-pack sand-dwellers is the more glaring (non-)statement.
It’s an odd coincidence that the caricatures used in this Gastonian children’s book look highly similar to our heroes.
Maybe they had an assignment to pose for an artist one day.
“Gnomes are cool because they build stuff for you.”
Even when they’re trying to be nice… You can still hear it. The disdain. Scary culture to be caught up in, especially if you’re not human.
One man’s jingoism is another’s blind, benevolent patriotism.
I believe that’s known as a back-handed compliment.
The dwarves were just too SHORT to keep living in the mountains! We did them a favor, really, but they keep bitching about it. Man, sometimes humans are just TOO awesome.
And those Elves really can’t appreciate their forests. I mean, they don’t even chop them down! If they aren’t going to properly exploit their land, we’ll just move them out into the deserts with the dwarves and give them part of the proceeds so their lives will be so much better…
The Dwarves diminutive stature made climbing difficult. At first, we contempleted having the Gnomes engineer a few staircases and lifting systems. However, upon further consideration, it was decided that the Dwarves would merely drink themselves into a frenzy and destroy all attempts at assistance. As a humanitarian measure, we assisted their race with relocation, partially funded by harvesting deposits of ore located within formerly Dwarven lands.
Brilliant! Someone give Fren an Internet! Those silly ingrate dwarves, demanding reparations of all things, after everything the Gastonians did for them! Could they build sand castles in the mountains? Could they live a contemplative life free of material possesions and all the pain they bring? Could they fully appreciate the low metabolism they are blessed with? I bet no dwarf suffers from obesity now! Geez, dwarves, no wonder no one likes you.
I like the vagueness about *why* the mountain settlements were valuable. It can easily be assumed the settlements were valuable to Gastonians, but gee, wonder why? Maybe the mines…? You know, those wonderful tunnels full of gems and precious-metal-bearing ore…? Naw, dwarves were also too short to work the tunnels they were digging, right? And too stupid to know that their pretty rocks were worth a lot?
Of course I could be completely wrong and going off the old “dwarves r miners” cliche.
I agree, the condescension is palpable.
Wait… Cliche? There are no cliches about dwarves. Dwarves ARE cliches.
Like most fantasy role playing games, elves get a full page and the lowly dwarves and gnomes get a half page each.
You mustn’t think them short shrifted– Lowly dwarves and gnomes just don’t measure up to the heights of other races, so their pages are little less full-bodied.
In Gastonia, the condescension is so thick you can cut it with a knife.
But use a Bohemian Ear-Spoon instead; you’ll want to shed every drop …of blood!
Gastonia will get theirs eventually. I mean, the Sky Elves see them as a bunch of stupid monkeys living on the ground while they live in the skies through use of every day magic that comes naturally to all of them. I have my money on the Sky Elves. :3
There will come a time, when Gastonia and their Gnomish allies discover ground-air missiles… Then we will all sing the Hymn of Gastonia, drink gastonian soda, eat in gastonian franchise-restaurants, all will know every little detail about Gastonia, all will speak gastonian, and the people of Gastonia will be ignorant happy people… wait… they already are. So Sky elves have no chance, while they cast old magic, and squabble with each other. Long live Gastonia! The worlds most advanced homogenic culture, with happy people…
Hail, hail Gastonia
Land of the Braaave
Aaaaand
Freeeee!
A funny twist would be if the adventuring party ended up getting all the OTHER races into an alliance to go to war with Gastonia. Now THAT would be unexpected on the Gastonians’ part.
Haha silly Dwarves, trying to traverse mountainous terrain with their short legs.
i suspect that might be guesswork on the part of the gastonian author…i somehow doubt dwarves lived for years in the mountains only to one day suddenly go “DUDE. our legs are way too short for all this climbing. wtf are we doing living on mountains?!?” and the whole culture made the shift.
or maybe they were FORCED out by the gastonian empire…and this is the cover story.