Annotated 16-25
My ending for this chapter was the last page, page 24. Phil insisted it needed something extra to bring it together. Even now, it’s hard for me to be 100% objective about which of us was right.
CONS: Page 24 ended with an exclamation point, this page ends with an ellipsis. We swap out a lot of raw emotional energy (fear, hate, insecurity, victory, painful embarrassment), for Gravedust sittin’ and thinkin’ and worryin’, with a little warm but much calmer emotion at page 25’s finish. The page basically resolves any questions about Gravedust trusting Bandit in the long term that Chapter 14 opened up, and maybe not in the most dramatically satisfying way: it would’ve been interesting to resolve them in Chapter 17 and 18 while they were on the battlefield together.
PROS: On the other hand, those last few panels are really cute, and not every little rift needs to be resolved in a big emotional storm. The page itself may have been a necessary review and breather before we followed up on the issues mentioned in panels 2 and 3, going off to confront Syr’Nj’s people shortly before the Savage armies do. (Penk’s carefree smile juxtaposed with the careworn grimaces of the other troll riders is a nice touch, John.) And I like how Gravedust recognizes that treating family as family is more essential to his hierarchy of needs than just writing about having family. So I dunno which choice was right, but there’s a lot here I can enjoy.
NEXT: A bonus story from the print volumes!
This page was a good move. It is exhibit 238 of why I still cry Bandit-induced tears every other night.
Thanks for listing the pros & cons of what your guys thought processes were in adding this final page. It’s fascinating hearing what goes into building a narrative.
I was always curious about Gravedust’s reaction to Bandit here. He suggested building better connections with his teammates, but it seems like too simple of a narrative for him to just start doing that moments later.
I kind of feel like it’s one of those moments where you’re giving someone advice and then suddenly realize you needed to hear it as much as them. I find this often happens when talking to children, as you have to go over things you had already “learned” and in doing so reevaluate your assumptions. The expression in panel 4 is what sells it, then the “Mm.” in the next panel. He’s about to tell someone else to piss off cause he’s writing, all it would take is to look down at the page for a moment at what he was writing about to realize if he did that, he’d be full of shit. Gravedust is a practice what you preach type, which is part of why we like him. In that moment, he checked himself, and decided there is no time like the present to put his thoughts into action.
I think it’s a good scene, because it can be used a few ways. You could use it to show how lacking in self awareness a character is. If Gravedust had just again been a curmudgeon and told her to leave him alone, we’d know he was right, but lacking self reflection (a younger sage might be guilty of this). Instead, we see him be wise, heed his own wisdom and most importantly act on it, which is always nicer than just being told he is wise.
That makes sense.
I’m with Phil on this one.
I I;m a big fan of how you wrapped up this chapter. As you said, not every revelation has to be a loud one, and Gravedust’s is frankly perfect.
I dunno, I’m not getting “ending” vibes from the last page. I think the exclamation mark was on the page before it, and that would only have worked as an ending if you were going for a cliffhanger. (Is Rachel the Wolf God? Find out next time, in “Rachel is not the Wolf God?! E-Merl’s Big Chance!”)
This page actually fooled me into thinking that the chapter started with Gravedust writing. It felt like a perfect bookend. And I guess it is, just not to the chapter as a whole (which started with Syr’Nj meeting Yalaria and continued with Harky promoting Penk).
This is one of my favourite pages. It’s a lovely gentle moment
Consider, for one moment, how much bigger Gravedust’s nose is than Bandit’s.
Then try to imagine them with noses exchanged.
I imagined very, very hard.
Bravo! Also, yikes!
Yeah, personally prefer this. The previous page would have ended what had been a chapter of rare intimate encounters (E-Merl opening up to Scipio, who surprisingly, welcomed it and Rachel forcing Frigg to open up, if only a smidgen)… to be punctuated by E-Merl being an idiot and wallowing in self-loathing for comedic effect? Closing with another intimate encounter between characters that had avoided close interactions is much better, one of whom is encouraged to do so by having observed the previous events is much better.
Yup, I have to go with the consensus in the comments and say this is a far better end to the chapter than the previous page, for all the reasons already stated.
I love the second panel. The way Byron tenderly strokes Syr’Nj’s hair…lovely.