New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
Guilded Age
The Saga of the Working Class Adventurer – New comics every weekday!
Katsucon XX
(National Harbor, MD 2/14-16)
Smudge Expo
(Arlington, VA 3/8)
AwesomeCon, D.C.
(Washington, D.C. 4/18-20)
Bwahahahahahahahahhahahaahaha!
Ohohohohohohohohohoho!
And a bottle o’ rum!
Ack! It’s the evil-female anime laugh!
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Fufufufufufufufufufufufu
Kukukukukukukukukuku
UWHEE-HEE-HEE!
Hyuk hyuk hyuk!
Bandit?
No?
(sigh)
Whining stopped yet?
No?
(sigh)
Whining about whining stopped yet?
No?
(sigh)
Mad because people mention the whining?
Yes?
Awesome. -high fives-
Whining about whining about whining stopped yet?
No?
(sigh)
[This is the internet. It's space-wasting whiners and hypocrites ALL the way down.]
Whining about whining about whining about whining stopped yet?
No?
Okay.
Whining about whining about whining about whining about whining stopped yet?
No?
WE NEED TO GO DEEPER.
Nope.
Wine being served yet?
Yes?
Excellent! Innkeep, I’ll take a jeroboam of your finest red. Put it on Best’s tab. Hm? Yeah, he’s buying the next round for everyone, don’t you know.
Some cheeeeeeese sir?
That’s “madam” to you; and yes, please!
My apologies ma’am. Please enjoy your acidified bovine secretion.
This here is one FAAANCY party! You gots yerselves any of them “whore-dervs” around here? Them are fancy folk food.
I’ve got some cheese hidden in me fanny pack. Would ye like some?
That’s bandit in the top panel.
agreed
I mean grey boxes imply that Frigg is unconscious and thinking, buy “Why’m” is a banditism if ever I saw one.
Bandit the Berserker… I like it!
Bandit is just Best double boxing anyway.
You know you got issues when somebody asks what your favorite position is and you reply “the fetal position”.
Well, his “Fatal Position” didn’t go over so well…
Aww, she’s a drooler. :)
Hope that beetle knows how to swim.
And I bet we all drool a little when heavily sedated.
Pretty sure the beetle is drinking the drool. Yet another tiny bit of awesomeness which is already so abundant on this page.
You could say Frigg’s drool is “beetlejuice”.
Beetlejuice?
(Come on people, one more time!)
betelgeuse
Mango Juice.
And on your left is a naked pig.
Th-th-th-th-that’s all, folks.
What are you people, I don’t even…
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SUMMON MICHAEL KEATON. YOU RUINED IT. ALL OF YOU RUINED IT.
Betelgeuse Betelgeuse Betelgeuse, Michael Keaton has better things to do.
Sorry I was stuck in traffic. Am I late?
: |
Nope.
Michael Keaton! GASP. Wow. First Start Trek characters, and then Michael Keaton? Who’s next? Charlie Sheen?
This kind of reminds me of the little red bugs in OotS you know? the little beetle is doing it’s own thing entirely independant of the actual characters.
I thought the little red bugs were demon cockroaches?
The large mammal collapses from the sedative venom injected by its plant-like companion. Saliva from the mammal pools on the ground, sustaining a young sand beetle for yet another day. This is the great Circle of Life, rolling ever onward.
The Piss Ants are off panel.
WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN
I love how Frigg’s brain is so oversaturated with memes that he just come as natural reactions at appropriate times.
“He?” That was a weird typo for “they…”
Byron looks kinda like a muppet in that last panel.
I approve.
Syrn’j the Frog here, with breaking news! Byron has Berserker’s Remorse. Leaders are trying to keep back Frigg-ing agitators, but most people are concerned about the status of rogue bandit forces… Popular musicians are already commemorating the event, with the CD out next month.
Most of the major players are sitting down to a discussion. It seems one of the forces have some heavy weight on her shoulders (and back and waist…)
Now requesting a Byron the Berserker plushie.
It’d be priceless if the plush was in the fetal position. I’d buy it for all my kids and young relatives. “See, this is what life does to you when you grow up!”
Berserker’s remorse.
Been there, done that, bought the Hallmark card.
Did you know they have a “Sorry for Disemboweling Your Uncle” card now?
Actually they only have “Sorry I ACCIDENTALLY dissembled” card but I guess it’s close enough.
Sorry I accidentally dissembled your Uncle. I didn’t really have a headache that night. Not sure why you are demanding an apology.
Love, Auntie
“I could have had cousins!!”
It’s not as bad as the “Hey, honey, sorry that I seduced your grandmother” card. That one’s just awkward.
It just occured to me that when Byron went Berserk, Syrnj was the only member of the group who seemed to know what was going on. I bet she’s studied the condition or something. That might even be why she had a syringe full of knockout tonic handy when the moment called for it.
Or it might just be that a dose of sleepy juice is a handy thing for a resourceful young lady to have in her personal inventory.
Yes. It keeps the fuzzy brain demons away.
True, it’s a useful thing to have in general. She could just as easily have had it just because it’s a good thing to have.
I think Frigg knew what was going on. It was “RWARWARWAR, ARGHLEBARGHLE Anger management issues.”
Frigg knew the situation after Byron killed bandit and started foaming at the mouth. It’s a bit different.
That could be described as “RWARWARWAR, ARGHLEBARGHLE Anger management issues.” yes.
Maybe I phrased myself poorly. Syrnj knew what was up Byron first went berserk. Frigg clued in after Byron killed on of their comrades and started foaming at the mouth. The difference is that Syrnj already knew the dangers of berserking prior to this. Frigg found out after they were displayed before her.
I’m pretty sure he was all “RWARWARWAR, ARGHLEBARGHLE” from the get go, to be honest, and while I agree that teh anger management issues weren’t apparent immediately I think Frigg was aware that anger management issues form a vital part of any RWARWARWAR, ARGHLEBARGHLE Anger management issues. Without it, it’d just be like being on drugs.
http://guildedage.net/webcomic/chapter-8/chapter-8-page-21/
When Syrnj displays an understanding of the situation. It’s the next page when Frigg first displays understanding, but at that point the situations had been laid bare for all to see. If you don’t get that he’s not an ally right now after he kills one of you, then I don’t even know what to say to that.
so, what any suggestions for the “Fail” rhyme?
Rail, stale, wail, whale, bail, bale, frail, snail, pail, pale, rail, kale, hail, hale, trail, braille, sail, nail, flail.
Quail, grail, tail, tale, sale, Yale.
Male.
Gale, dale, mail, mail, female, ale…and that’s all I can think of right now.
Entrail…
Oh yeah, that’s a good one.
You know that you hail failed when that pale looking male now holds you entrail(s)
You know if you had bailed you would be drinking some ale with some young female
But now a rail has impaled your chain mail and you have come to end of your tale.
(chunka-chunka-chunka-chunka)
“kick some ass and get some tail?”
“Kick some ass and get some grilled quail.”
“Kick some ass and then post bail.”
“Kick some ass and then read braille.”
“Kick some ass and have a bake sale.”
Jail, curtail, entail, contrail.
flail the snail?
Rhymes are words that’re set on rails.
When you repeat a word twice your rhyme’s derailed.
If that happens, fission mailed.
I like that.
I can’t think of ANY couplets for the fail :(
Which is a shame, as there’s some on sale.
Scale, retail, and wassail occurred to me during the day, then I remembered wassail was pronounced more like “wassel”.
So only scale and retail.
Farthingale. Monorail. Bacchanale. Holy Grail. Pint o’ ale. Final sale. The doughnuts are stale. Jump, jive, and wail.
Chromium. Parasail. Habitrail. Ha, ha, we’re sitting on yer freakin’ tail!Nightingale, martingale, chippendale…
You all forgot “Fail” – which is the only rhyme you’d need to make the song if you were Best.
Also, I almost didn’t notice that best put his jacket back on.
DOUCHE-IROTH!
The berserker needs a hug.
She is pretty much pinned down. Her responsibility weighes heavily on her back.
Byron need a psychiatrist and a bar of chocolate.
what if it’s that he lost the berserker in him and now Frigg has it?
I’m sure Byron still has it, it’s not the first time hes gone berserk and it shows.
Though the Troll did order the archers to cut Byron down befor his “madness” spread so it’s good chance that the voice Frigg hears now is the same that tells Byron to kill.
I was wondering if someone else was going to mention that.
Voice/Voices, yes I thought this as well – not sure if that translates to Berserkerism or if they are just nassty little voiceses taking up residence.
I’ma have to call ‘ignorance’ on thinking the berserking will spread. But we’ll see.
I think Byron just needs a big hug.
Cheer up Frigg! You can have Tombdirt’s name now if you ask ni-
..- with some sort of dipl-..
.. if you pretend to-
…
aww crap.
Frigg’s got The Madness, me thinks.
Oh Best you douche.
<3
And it looks like Harky was right about the Madness being catching.
Unless that’s what always runs through Frigg’s head when she’s asleep. Old hostility programing from her childhood at the COnvent of Perpetual Assholery.
Actually, I’m thinking this is a Joan of Arc-esque hearing of God’s voice. Byron the Berserker was, indeed, a berserker, though he never appeared to be. Frigg the Crusader is the chosen instrument or champion of an Arkerran deity, or simply of Dedalus.
Bryon the Berserker clearly needs a hug.
D’awwww
Post murder Byron is adorable!
Oww … Byron seems to be in a shock, huh ?
Wonder how he will snap out of it.
I said the same thing, a sort of sympathy awwwwww…
I loves Byron, I want him to feel better. Surely Syr’nj has some happy juice as well as sleepy juice?
Mead, maybe?
Or a little hair of the dog. “Nothing makes me feel better after a TPK than slaughtering a village of beast-people.”
Women always have the happy juice, if it comes to their loved ones.
My guess is whoever was driving Bandit before the party wipe is now outside Frigg’s containment unit, speaking to her directly, or via a submerged headset or something.
So glad to see the witty comments making a comeback.
Mr. Byron sir… if you’re so scared that you’re dangerous… why did you bring the axes <emwith you when you went off to sit remorsefully?
Brayen and Bayen are his best friends. They’ll talk him down.
And they get a bit tetchy if he’s not close.
Surely you mean edgy?
Nope.
But I saw whut U did thar.
“Tetchy”; adj; from the High Elven “Tetchanaran’elgedil”, meaning “To kill everyone in sight.”
I’m sorry to be a nit-picker, but i think you meant “Tetchanaran’algedil”.
“Tetchanaran’elgedil” means “To slightly over-butter the toast”.
High Elven is such a tricky language.
It was only a Tolkein attempt at humour.
I don’t know what you’re Tolkein about.
I’d say that you guys are crazy and we’re not on the same boat here, but, in truth, you’re really just a fellow-ship to me- *BLAM*
“No sir, that pun was awful and forced! You’re under arrest! Pun Police, take him away! A few years in our pungeon should sort him out!”
Relax, you’re Tolkien this way too seriously.
Let’s not make a Hobbitout of all this…
There are no hobos and no rabbits here sir. Therefore, no Hobbits for even potential Hobbits.
Oooohhh. I just realised that he broke his little rule. The one about killing members of his own species.
That is probably why he is freaking out.
Nah, he laid Frigg out, but he didn’t kill her himself. He skirted disaster, though.
I’m pretty sure he may be feeling bad about killing the little blonde puppy. Frigg’s a big girl, she can watch out for herself.
I like that Gravedust and Best are sitting on Frigg. But shouldn’t Gravedust be a tad bigger?
His legs are towards the camera. It’s foreshortening.
Do we need another Science Time?
For Science!
For cake!
The Science is a Lie!
The Cake is a Science! Chemistry, specifically!
I love you Caitlin. That made me snort my coffee.
THE BAKE SALE IS SCIENCE!
THE BAKE SALE IS SCIENCE!
Best is sitting on the small of her back. In between string plucking he can easily rest his left hand on her bottom. And give it a squeeze.
If you can squeeze a woman’s ass donning plate, then you are so full of awesomeness… Or wearing a power glove.
I’m just glad that all of the nay saying about John’s art style previous to his becoming the main artist has been proven biased conjecture and a lot of needless speculation. John, your work is impeccable as always. And Byron’s entire posture in the last panel is quite amusing. Kudos again, I have always and will continue to love this comic.
I’d be hesitant about saying that you’ll always love the comic… I hear if John ever quits and nobody else wants to do it, I might have to step in to fill the breach.
God help us all, then. You’ll housecat us all to death :P
<3
That’s if I don’t get the job. I mean, they’d probably give me money just to draw this thing after seeing my magnum opus work of fan-art. That’s high-quality Microsoft Paint work right there. Until then, I’ll allow John to continue his work. Not everyone can be an absolute artistic genius like I am. (What do you mean, April 1st is already come and gone?)
Seriously, though, great work, John. Not to imply your work wasn’t already great, but, if I’m not mistaken, it has somehow improved since you first started.
“… how did you make these graphics?”
“I USED MARIO PAINT”
That Bandit is so adorable it actually makes me feel bad that she’s dead forever.
Hey what happened to my request for that march project you were doing?
Thank you very much, Repartee.
looks like my replacement’s all lined up.
> As opposed to…?
Is that Best stepping up to handle the ‘lol berserker’ duties? Frigg -has- been having a hard time keeping up with them lately. He does seem to be cut out for the job (but then, so did Frigg).
He’s implying that Byron is unthreatening all the time.
The implied sentence is something like “As opposed to what? Actually being competent in a fight? Pah, like that’d ever happen.”
well, right… that is the ‘lol berserker’ I’m talking about. Frigg used to have that down, before recent events.
I think he’s implying that he’s so god-damned-awesome that even a full bezerk rage would be no trouble for him :D
lol ahdok
Doesn’t get ‘lol berserker’
I think you’re underestimating how absolutely fantastically superlatively awesome Best really is. :D
Nothing is better than Best, after all!! :)
Only the Best is good enough.
Also recall Best hasn’t actually seen Byron in his Berzerker rage, so his view of Byron hasn’t really changed since he last saw him chapters and chapters ago.
Byron looks so sad and depressing in the last panel, I can’t even bring myself to make a pun.
I’m not so sure, he seems to be having a right-old knees-up.
Best’s song.
There the five losers set down in the dirt
did experiance alot of hurt
Harky called down arrow in rain
they all died in enormious pain
They all failed
until Byron impailed
set to derail
Harky’s path of destruction
succeeded he did in the reconstruction
of Bandit’s poor neck
never again to wreck
havoc on Syrn’j's hat
Or was that not douche baggy enough?
I’m reading it in my head at the rhythm of Dire Straits “Walk of life”.
I want to be, the very Best…
Like no elf ever was…
To match them is no real test
To troll them is my cause.
I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
My Destiny, I understand
Is to win and show pride.
Payet Best!
Gotta troll ‘em all
It’s me, me, meee.
I know it’s my destiny!
Payet Best!
Ooh, I don’t need friends
It’s the world I must defend!
Payet Best!
Ooh, my heart is true!
My courage will pull us through!
You watch me, and I’ll teach you… I’m
PAYET BEST!
Gotta troll ‘em all!
…What… I was supposed to be composing a song about Byron? Don’t make me laugh.
Bandit, oh, Bandit, Bandit all my life
For Byron killed poor Bandit
And then we went and lost her knife
Bandit’s gone, one more round, Bandit’s gone
I’m glad Frigg and Syr’nj are finally seeing eye to eye on this situation.
Well, they’re both pretty down to earth.
Syr’nj has sunk to Frigg’s level.
It seems this isn’t sitting well with Gravedust and Best.
Aw man, poor Byron. That look… ;_;
And I agree with Frigg.
Best won me over with that comment
“As opposed to?” I’m still laughing at the irony
What I’m still wondering about is his weapons. They were pretty important to him, named them and everything. Then Gravedust went and magicked up a pair of identical axes. Are they the same ones? Did he teleport them with the aide of spirits? Simply copy their forms? Rebuild them from some sort of metaphysical connection with their wielder?
I think we can assume they all got their original equipment back.
Plus loot, as Byron has his shoulder-axes.
That’s Byron’s equipment.
It wasn’t his ORIGINAL equipment, though. They’re “on loan” from ol’ Gigundy, remember?
If only Best was there when Byron was ‘Zerking, he’d “changing his tune.” :3
Second Life? Wait… does this mean that Bandit was simply teleported home… or to one of the Welcome Areas? Gotta warn folks about those Combat sims.
It more likely refers to the fact they all just got brought back from the dead– a second chance. Or maybe Byron’s mysterious past. Or both.
I’m really starting to think dear bandit’s gone for good, sadly.
Payet better not be a permanent party member now, that would not be Best.
***
OK Author, you have shown Best to be Badass, great, he’s not just a pretty face, we knew that.
What you haven’t shown him is to be likeable in any way, even through the unique perspective the fourth wall gives us. He was an ass before and by golly, he is still an ass.
***
Oh Gods, remember when the Troll Leader said that Byron was “Infected”? That font we see in Friggs head is the same font used for Byrons Dark Side. Has she been infected?
Uh oh.
Payet!
The Best a man can get!
Though Best does appreciate people thinking he’s pretty.
Bandit isn’t gone.
There’s gnome hope for her.
You don’t gnome that.
I’m with the Captain on this one.
There’s no race like gnome.
And there’s gnome-atch for this chain of replies.
Actually, I was going to blame the Lindens for losing her entire account.
She’s pining for the fjords.
Huh, the Captain isn’t rooting for the gnome to be totally gone? And I thought you were short on appreciation for her, man.
None of them seem to be at all worried about what might have happened to Bandit.
How callous.
Man, I hate the suspense of waiting for that new page. It makes me stay up too late on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. XD
Byron basicly looks like me after i saw the Eragon movie, aaaaand i will stop here because if i know myself (and i do) i will soon start to rant about it.
(grumbles) stupid movie, did they even READ the damn book?…(grumble)