New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
Got to hand it to him, that’s some prime real-estate with a view that’s simply to die for.
And the town is just afire with activity! Enjoy the five finger discount at all the shops.
that’s some hot merchandise!
Our musical guest tonight is Nero. He’s been burning up the charts lately.
the baddies plan is a smashing success
and his minions really know how to deliver a point!
Come watch as we crush the prices!
“I don’t want to set the world on fire.
Oh, wait, yes. Yes I do.”
“I just want to start a fire in your heart.
And your house. And your cow. And your fields. And your- you know what, I want to start a fire pretty much everywhere.”
Fred Flintstone finally has his revenge
I guess tthis is total war.
First the Mystics, then Gravedust, now the world? So…can we file him under “Complete Monster”?
For once I can’t call Gastonia as the wrong side.
Despite their screwed upedness, at least they’re not ACTIVELY burning, raping, and pillaging people.
That we know of…
Always remember: Rape, Pillage, THEN burn…
For all we know this is pretty much the same thing Gastonia did to the dwarves, elves and assorted other races except perhaps enslavement. Though it’s possible it’s all the non-humans’ fault and they had it coming. How about some round fucking ears and above blow job height, eh?
It was a preemptive strike, there was proof Gastonia was building flying machine of mass destruction
Well, we know the war can’t be about oil. Not with that many flames.
They are Trolls, the only thing they know is Flame Wars.
Someone’s having fun…
Well looks like we know who the complete bag guys are.Even the cults and such diddn’t do that much damage.Savage races and all ain’t nice bunch.
Well, they do seem to be utter barbarians.
This is war. That is how war works. Granted, enjoying the view with a goblet of wine from a dinosaur howdah is a bit passe, but the pillage/rape/burn part is normal. I doubt there has been a longer-than-a-year war in history which did not involve at least some of the above from at least one of the sides.
Is one of them looting a butter churn?!
That’s a little cheesy.
True, but he may as well milk it for all it’s worth.
Though it does lact a certain amount of finesse.
Butter stop all these puns before Phil creams us.
how do you guys keep churning out all these puns? you’re all quite legendairy, i must say
Dairy a day goes by where puns don’t comprise a majority of the banter. It doesn’t bother me any. I’m no moilsport.
Keep the puns low kefir, or they’ll get in the whey of serious discussion. It’s a gouda thing we can sit back and observe this scene resembling the persecution of the Curds – I prefer fantasy voyeurism to having a limburger hacked off. Were I actually surrounded by such muensters, my first thought’d be “Ricotta get outta here!” No time to greve for your grana, it’s time to do the Hereford Hop and head to Northumberland, before someone mimolette-s you with their sardo and tosses your corpse on the fire with a cry of “Geitost!”
Ghee wiz, margerine some trouble, there. Butter spread out the puns or oil have to get out of here. That many could be shortening your life span. Your really should just put that kind of thing out to pasteur.
The yeast you can do is take care of yourself. If you keep punning at this rate your liver will shrivel into a black diamond.
But if we don’t keep punning, the liver problems will pail into insignificance besides the blood-curdling response from the comments. We have to keep going tit-for-tat with these dairy-based puns, even if it descends into udder chaos. I apologise to the lactose intolerant, but there’s no point crying over spilt milk. We aren’t trying to goat you, but we just decant stop.
Yep, and the guy in front of them is taking a girl away. But well, you know what they say, “You can’t the butter, the butter’s money and the dairywoman’s ass”. ^^
Steal a butter churn?
How dairy do such a thing!
They not only grabbed the girl, butter churn, as well.
This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “No.”
Dear Sir or Madam:
You are an inspiration to us all.
Playing god, aren’t we ? ;-)
+1 million literary internets.
I gotta admit. Sipping wine from the deck of your dinosaur-mounted mansion, cruising through the burning ruins of your enemy’s city, smiling slightly they are pillaged and murdered beneath you?
If you’re going to be evil, that’s the way to do it.
Now all he needs a fiddle.
… Dangit, I was preparing to make that joke. Scroll down, nobody’s done it, yet…scroll down…still nothing…scroll down…DAMMIT!
Gotta love convenient timezones.
Why do evil warlords like to ride on giant dinosaurs?
So they can feel four and a half feet tall.
The best part of waking up is Soldiers …shedding blood? I’m kinda lost on a finisher.
Good to the last chop!
Damn those titanosaurs are badass. They are being steered by reins attached to spikes driven into their necks. Also, that one on the left is knocking down a tower with it’s face. Let’s hope they’re susceptible to adorable earnestness when the gang comes riding up on those rhinosaurs.
GASP! I see a tiny hint of microscopic boobie in the first panel! I’m going to complain to the FCC fifty billion times that children are at risk of being exposed to this smut if they’re pressed up close to the computer screen and staring a a nipple no bigger than this period. .
Sadly, that was like the first thing I noticed.
While the nipple might not be traumatic, the implications of what the gnoll is going to do to her kind of is…
With wood, a butter churn, and what appears to be a cutting board, it’s very obvious what they’re going to do:
Make her make a goddamn sandwich. Pillaging and burning is a tiring business and an army doesn’t march on its stomach.
Shame that they set fire to the homes, now they have to build a kitchen with the wood first. That’s poor project planning. Tsk tsk.
“On empty stomaches,” not, “on its stomach”.
Curses! Foiled by typing too quickly.
Do you mean the button on the pillaged woman’s vest/shirt/tunic? It looks like she has her clothes still to me.
That’s one classy motherfucker.
Air conditioning must cost him a fortune on his hydro bills.
Bet he still spends less than the US government does for AC for our military.
all joking aside, a disturbing development…
I WANT A DINOSAUR HOUSE.
Destructive juggernauts, great spiked reptilian behemoths…with BUNGALOWS on top.
Okay, you’ve sold me Savage Races, I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
This whole page is BAD ASS. Well done John!
… Hot damn!
No doubt. The art is top drawer. TOP. DRAWER.
“War is hell, men.
…Do you know, when I was a lad I always wanted to be a prince of hell? Never thought I’d get the chance.”
Thank you for taking me back to my childhood, playing with Dino Riders.
Eh, they’re not that savage. Don’t see what all the hype is about.
yeah, humanity has done AT LEAST the same thing.
cept mebbe the butter churn…. thas new.
Well this pic shows otherwise.
This is kind of what I hate about them: They talk about how “mean” the humans are to them, yet murder and rape these humans/elves/Gnomes in return. I call it hypocricy, and I can’t wait to see them fall.
Okay, I was joking, but if you’re gonna talk about it seriously that’s pretty typical war behavior. You get everyone riled up about how awesome their country is and how terrible and inherently wicked the enemy is, get all that propaganda going, and then you send them out to inflict their “Righteous Fury” on on the opposing nation.
There are no purely noble nations. There are at times entirely wicked dictators, but at the end of the day it’s easy to paint all of a nations misdeads and faults to the point that they appear to be deserving of this type of treatment. If we look at this particular war the savage races likely view this as retribution for what Gastponia did to them. Gastonia has proven themselves to be vile and wicked and not deserving of basic civil treatment. Meanwhile Gastonia likely has gone and laid out similar propaganda in laying out why the savage races are savage and godless and inherently violent and hostile and can’t be reasoned with and need to have a righteous dose of fear put into them.
Dehumanizing the enemy in the minds of the masses is generally the first step in wartimes. Creating an atmosphere of fear and intolerance and all that goodness that allows someone to systematically firebomb major cities into the ground without hesitating when it’s time to pull the trigger. Rape and murder are not all that uncommon acts in a war. War isn’t considered an act of friendliness for a reason.
You got the wood elves who are big on the nature and believe that all life is sacred, but have recently added a clause to these beliefs that excepts human life from this, painting them as a disease that must be purged from the earth. You got the Gastonians who’ve gone to painstaking lengths to reduce each nonhuman race individually to the level of animals, and have created an atmosphere of hate so intense that there are those who would rather die than accept medical aid from a nonhuman. You got the high elves who have in recent history adopted an attitude that they are a superior life form to the point that they would be sullied by associating with any of the lower beings. Finally, we got the dwarves and their allies who’ve gone and painted the humans and their allies as inherently evil oppressors who bring only pain into the world and thus deserve to have that brought back to them.
They may think they’re sending a message to the other humans, they may think they’re showing the humans what it’s like, they may think they’re punishing misdeeds, but really at this point the hate has progressed to a point where it’s irrelevant. They probably wouldn’t give these people that kind of consideration in the first place.
Hypocrisy is too mild a word for this phenomenon. Hypocrisy is a micro level word for micro level interactions. You’d use it to describe an individual more often than not. This is macro. This is global. This says more about the nature of intelligent life in general than it does about any individual person. I’d have a difficult time using it as a grounds to condemn the savage races specifically.
Very well said sir. Excellent recap of the various groups’ motivations. Everyone thinks they’re right and justifies bad behavior with “valid” excuses – just like people do in real life!
One would think the authors actually want us to relate to these wacky fantasy races…
Also, if they don’t go to war the pvp zones don’t get enough traffic.
So how long before he meets a spy who informs him about Gravedust having not”died” as he was supposed to?
Its bound to reveal there’s a spy in the upper echelons of their “superiors’” ranks… perhaps even a double agent especially in their new adventurers’ guild… so anyone care to lay odds at this point?
Other men just want to watch the world burn…from aboard their DINOSAUR HOUSE!
Remember your order of operations, men!
Rape, then pillage, then burn.
So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong
Do it backwards and you get a certain burning sensation.
Also, you’ll be out a perfectly good butter churn.
Oompa, loompa, oompidy-doo, I’ve got a deadly invasion for you…
Well done. :-D
So, how are those Gastonia road blocks holding up?
Probably doing a great job preventing the civilians’ retreat.
Eh, who needs civilians? They just eat the food, drink the water, and spread diseases. When it comes to a siege, they’re nothing but a liability.
Their existence is not the Zentradi way!
ALL ABOARD THE TERRORSAURUS
great… more useless NPC’s
i LOVE thoez Gaiz…
Me: what do you mean i have to defend the gate AND the soldiers!? isn’t defending the gate YOUR job!?
Soldiers: We are but noobs with no skillz to pay the bills…
Me: Then how the blazes did you get to be SOLDIERS in the FIRST PLACE!?
Soldiers: …guidance councilors…?
…have got to rep grind one of those dinosaur houses.
It’s good the PC’s dont have the terrorsaur. I know. I had inadvertently let my PC’s buy something similar in my very first campaign… A soarwhale.
“oh, we just want to use it as a sort of zeppelin” they said.
Me:the main villain taunts you before running in the desecrated church and barring the doors.
Them:we crash the whale into it.
Them:yeah,the building and anything inside takes blah(substitute blah for close to as many d6′s the gaming shop had on display)d6 damage.
Me:ok. The building is destroyed. The villains legion swarms the whale and starts to kill it.
Them:it pees on them.
Them:yep. It urinates a paralyzing mist that paralyzed everything in the vicinity.
It was a learning experience.
Easy enough to call them on it.
If it urinates a mist that paralyzes EVERYTHING, that includes the party. Congratulations, you’ve paralyzed yourselves as well.
Oh and since that’s a biological process, let’s just say it has to do it every… 2D4 hours. Still want to ride around on your magic flying whale?
And since we’ve opened that can of worms, now the party must also keep track of when the last time THEY had to visit the “little warrior’s room” was. Oh, and Armor Check Penalties do apply…
Fail the check, and your armour rusts?
As a rule, “them” doesn’t get to pick how many d6s result from conditional effects like the collapse of a building. You as DM decide the mechanics of the world, because the world is the character you’re playing.
If you’d wanted to be really mean, you could have just had the church hold up. The soarwhale is out cold and your party is falling…The chance that something holds up to a ramming is a big reason people don’t tend to ram except as a desperation move, unless their device/conveyance is specifically designed for the purpose.
you people gotta understand. this was when i was new. i know these things NOW. just not THEN.
“i’ll slaughteeeeer the woooooooooorld……….”
Iiiiinteresting… I’m guessing the first battle didn’t go well? Or this is a place the gastonians let them hit in order to lure them in, and slip the team in among the slaves?
or it’s a nightmare poor Gravy’s having.
I want. A house. On a dinosaur.
Science, make this happen now.
Savage Races: An Overview:
Cons: Killing without mercy, enslaving the weak, stealing butter, burning things at random.
Pros: Drinking fine dwarven stout from a golden cup while standing on the balcony of a dinosaur house.
The jury’s still out.
“Cons: Killing without mercy, enslaving the weak, stealing butter, burning things at random.”
Wait these are your list of Cons???
House-hunting? No problem. Here, the house hunts YOU.
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