New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
Because deep down, every troll wants to bang a drum while riding a rhinosaur.
I want to bang a drum while riding a rhinosaur!
most trolls are too scared to ride, better to just get on the floor, everyone walk that rhinosaur
I don’t wanna lurk, I jus’ wanna bang onna drum all day….
Bang you head \m/
D’oh, I mean bang YOUR head
Well, mental health will drive you mad.
That is the beat that makes you shake ya booty. It even makes bum sound effects.
Well, he definitely knows how to inspire loyalty in his troops. You’d almost start to like him. ALMOST.
Why not like him? We don’t know all that much about him, aside from him being ‘horde.’ It’s not like Gastonia is a bastion of liberty and justice.
The guy did kill of the adventurers (who were diplomats), razed town after town, and now wants to wipe out the elves because they MAY ally with the Gastonians…
Sorry, not liking him here ^^;
And if by Horde, you mean the wow Horde, no offence, but ever since vanillia they have pretty much been invading other people’s lands. Not sure if Horde is a positive comparison.
Gastonia did pretty much the same (razing I mean) and they did it first so if we can like Byron & Co., no reason why we shouldn’t like this cheery troll-kid.
So, scrying and magic are not viable choicemaking options? What about guesswork? Hmm, wasn’t one of the diplomat’s elven royalty? I’d take that as a decent reason to think this vision of the the Wood Elves allying with Gastonia.
“Oh gee, the Gastonians sent an elven princess to try an negotiate for peace with us as we are becoming a threat after years of systematic genocide and relocation. Surely nothing to think about there.”
-shrugs- Not saying that Harky is a fuzzy peach to be hugged, but I think there are two types of people who go to war. People who do it because they see the prizes to be gained and are so high up on the totem pole that they don’t care about the costs (aka, slaughter of thousands including your own forces, terror and mass chaos, etc) and people who have seen what their other options are and realize that war is the only real shot they have despite the mass horrors that await.
Personally feel the World Rebellion leadership is split on that axis. I’ll let everyone decide who they think is where.
Survivors of ruthless treatment, at a huge disadvantage, tend not to waste time and resources on enemy prisoners. Ask the Swiss.
“It’s not like Gastonia is a bastion of liberty and justice.”
Well, from we’ve seen from the “Savage races” so far, they’re not really champions of virtue either.
Actually, I’m now well convinced that both sides just do what HR tells them to, and that’s why they’re all such douchebags.
This is probably the case.
I’m willing to bet Harky’s visions come straight from HR.
This is an MMO, after all, and there wouldn’t be much tension if both sides were decent gentlemen who could settle their differences peacefully. This is why much of the leadership here is corrupt, impotent, isolationist, or driven by personal demons.
I mean, you can come up with Good v. Good conflict, but it’s usually unsustainable, and Good v. Evil creates a skew in player demographics. It’s easiest and probably best to create two morally grey sides, like WoW WoA did.
Last panel, bottom right:
I love… Pisces?
That’s the interpretation I’m going with. It’s nice to have fans.
It’s the symbol on Harky’s dragon-house thing and his banner. He could also love Pisces, but I’d guess he loves Harky.
The H is for Harky :p
Actually looking at it and giving my eyes just a little strain it appears to be some kind of clan symbol most likely to do with either say clan Harky or maybe a unit symbol considering it’s the same symbol on the goblin kids chest piece. Also forgive me for forgetting the kids name. He’s not been in it enough for me to remember him yet lol.
Although with closer inspection I realize that it’s not exactly the same but pretty close. Also had to get my own gravatar.
ummm…. doesn’t he say the kid’s name right there in panel 3? (hint; it’s “Penk.”)
I was sleepy. Don’t judge.
I Don’t Want To Work
I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day
I Don’t Want To Play
I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day
gah, beat me to it!
for those who want theme music for the last panel
Visions? Sounds like Daedalus is pulling the strings…
and the last ” … Visions.” looks like Harky just might start to smell a rat pretty soon
Either that, or he just thinks the kid is a poor choice to be the “voice” of his proclamations?
Actually, I think he sees the glow of fate about the kid.
Seriously, a literal glow. Look again.
Rhinosaurus has excellent taste in hats.
I think the noselizard looks grumpy. I think I’d be grumpy too if I had to wear something noisy on my head which kept getting pounded all day.
That Rhino is not a happy camper.
Now I can’t unsee the hat… and I sorta want to see Syr’Nj in a hat like that, to replace the one Bandit stole :D
No attempts to try to get the elves on their side?
Not sure the Elves have much in common with the “Savage” races.
The dwarves didn’t either, once. But the Gastonian council was talking about invading the wood elves’ land because they weren’t willing to sell timber.
I’ll give you three guesses how that would end and the first two don’t count.
Harky’s rhinosaur is the coolest: it’s been lowered and had a subwoofer installed.
it’s a real boomer, too
It has blue light-up toenails
We like the ‘saurs, the ‘saurs that go boom!
You can’t stop the beat!
I hear you’re the Best drummer, good thing you’re not the reincarnation of one of their heroes…
They told him “visions give the next place to war,
those elves soon won’t be troubling us anymore!”
But first we need your drum to tell the soldiers what’s in store
so beat it, just beat it.
You better run to get your mount ready then
fire up their blood, show them they’re macho men.
You better be tough, use all the tricks that you ken
to beat it, show them all that you’re bad!
So beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it,
and we’ll never be defeated!
Showin’ your rhythm, boostin’ our fight
leading, not hidden, drumming feels right.
Just beat it!
…now I’ve got it stuck in my mind. Well played.
Yeah alright, up until this point I thought you guys saying he was Best were tripping on acid or something.
Now I believe.
And visions and prophecies are … kinda/sorta similar *nudge* *nudge* *knowaddameen*
if it is a rhinosaur, why tusks from the mouth instead of horns from the nose?
Rhino just means “nose”, so rhinosaur is “noselizard”. It’s a lizard that has a nose, that seems to fit OK :D
With sincerest apologies to Todd Rundgren
I Don’t Want To Slay
I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day
I Don’t Want To Slay
Ever since I was a tiny troll
I don’t want no silibus
I don’t need no sweet roll
I took a stick and an old rotted skull
I bang on that thing ’til I got
Blisters on my hand because
When I get older they think I’m a fool
Harky told me I should stay after school
he caught me dreaming of the drum and the beats
But my licks was so hot
I made Harky wanna dance
And that’s why
Listen to this
Every day when I get home from battle
I feel so frustrated
The adventurers are jerks
And I get my sticks and go out to the shed
And I pound on that drum like it was the Byron’s head
Now that’s what I call “Drumming up support”
The ‘take them down before they take us down’ is not an uncommon strategy in warfare.
“Hey! Auraugu! I got a job drumming for Harky! A three month placement!”
“You mean, he’s only hiring you for one season?”
“Yeah… he said it was a tempo job.”
Can I see your musician’s guild membership?
He got Penk’s time signature on the dotted line.
Oh, okay, the savage races *aren’t* the good guys. Sheesh.
Well, I get the feeling the “good guys” are just slightly better bad guys.
“I think her bad guys are badder than my bad guys”
+/-1 general currency denomination to whomever can place that possibly paraphrase quote.
Hm, that last “Visions” Harky seems to mutter implies he’s… confused, at the very least, about the visions.
I can imagine a sort of ‘wait what?’ when told the isolationist elves are the next biggest threat to the industrial empire that’s been tearing up your land.
As he’s looking at Penk it might also imply, Why is that skinny nobody central to my vision?
I dunno; the way he says “visions” makes me think he might be hungry and about to say “doughnuts” next.
Which, come to think of it, does not negate the suggestion (of fellow readers) that HR is meddling directly. It may even support it more strongly!
I wonder if the 4th panel means that Harky is having misgivings about his vision. He might not follow Daedalus’s script exactly the way Daedalus expected.
Oops. I didn’t refresh for a while. Mutterscrawl’s comment wasn’t there when I wrote.
Harky may just not trust visions in general. Maybe it’s because the visions are associated with shamans and the vision has shamans calling their god, Tectonicus, who will do all the work. That might be too much reliance on shamans for him.
“Visions” may just be a cover for some other way he got those marching orders.
I really love the gnoll brushing it’s teeth in the last panel.
Gotta keep those pearly whites sharp and clean, otherwise you won’t be able to bite into Gastonian flesh!
Just because they’re savages doesn’t mean they don’t have good dental hygiene.
Not as awesome as an undead T-Rex powered by polka. Close though.
Waldo Butters rules.
That is a happy troll, if I ever saw one.
Seconding the comments that the second “visions…” seems to indicate the Harkster’s misgivings.
Remember: he’s supposed to send a loan spy in, but instead the entire army is marching. He’s not following Daedalus’ plan exactly.
No, Everything Is Going According To Plan… first H.R. has to give the Wood Elves a reason to welcome the Diplomat Squad… Marching a hostile army to their borders seems like it would do the trick, or what do you think?
I have to say that guy who’s shaving in the last panel made my day. So funny!
Aw… he didn’t say that the Champion of the Fuzzy Peoples sent him.
Remember the dood in the office. And his ‘twisting of destiny’. Yeah. There is the source of the visions for ya.
WOOOOO!! I stopped reading this comic when I lost all my book marks! I saw your ad! It has been so long, and now there’s an archive to comb through! I can’t believe I forgot about this comic!
Now run some heroics so we can get you on the squad.
Not what I thought they meant when they said “put barding on your mount” but I’ll go with it.
Well you’re dirty sweet herald troll on the back of a rhino
You’re dirty and sweet come on!
Bang your drum, lead the throng, bang your drum!
“Everybody dance, get on the floor!
Everyone do the rhinosaur!”
Or something like that.
or, how about;
“Get it on!
Call a throng!
Bang it strong!
Some like it hot
and some strike
when the heat is on.
Some stamp their feet
to the beat
when the march is on!
Feeeel the Heat!
marching a lot,
battles are sought!
Feeeel the Heat!
Harky we’ve got,
Victory is fought!”
(apologies to T-Rex)
Found this comic by way of GWS. Very nice work; I love the creatures!
I can’t believe no-one has mentioned the Battlestar Gallactica references on the banners in the last panel. for shame, nerds!
WELL i guess we know what happened to Best now
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