New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
“Gods…I can feel the power of the bough without even touching it.”
That’s what she said.
Don’t be too impressed. See panel 3? It’s just an implant.
Look again and squint.
It’s a suppository!
At least he’s not Champion of the Muzzy people.
“What GAMES are the gods playing with us?”
I think we all know the answer to that one.
Lessee, what game… “from beyond death itself”… Resident Evil 4?
52 card pick up with only 51 cards?
Hungry Hungry Hippos!
Texas Hold’Em !
Let the Game Naming begin …
Snakes and Ladders, withy greased rungs.
Perhaps a rousing variant of Blind Troll’s Bluff?
Cripple Mr Elven?
Ha Ha Herman.
Candy Land – Fuzzy Peoples Edition
Pokemon Pogs. Gods are always a little behind the trend.
I’d say a little more behind than that. Ugg Ugg Goose?
Could be a lot of games, but we have it on good authority that it isn’t dice.
“Stop telling God what to do, Albert.”
I dunno, we’ve had a lot of storms recently, and Thunder keeps rolling. Usually a six.
Well, we all know that this isn’t the game he wanted to play. :)
God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
- from Good Omens, by Pratchett and Gaiman
OMG! Your avatar… it’s so beautiful!!!
(Derf’s avatar at this time being “angry, screaming, full-face, Elf King with green fire in his eyes” —’”LUMBERJAAAACK!!!!”‘ — for future reference after the avatar’s changed several times.)
Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down…
“What games are the gods playing with us?”
Well that depends are we using third edition or fourth edition rules?
It can’t be fourth ed – we wouldn’t need to nerf Gastonians.
It’s called “Kingdoms of Arkerra” Harky.
Female knoll in panel 2 is sportin’ a ‘tude. Probably ’cause she was the one who wuz s’posed to get to steal the stick (chap 15, p.23). Glass ceilings exist even in monster alliances.
It’s OK. She’s hot, she’ll do well enough if she’s willing to play the occasional game of fetch.
What makes you think that she was supposed to steal the stick? Are you referring to how the kobold silhouette sorta seems to have breasts?
You bet. That’s either a female gnoll (not kobold) or Auraugu in drag.
Given Auraugu…drag is not unlikely…
Honestly I was hugely surprised. I thought the male gnoll was female. Female hyenas on Earth are larger in size, and have larger members, than males. So i’m super super surprised to see a true “female” human looking gnoll. Where is my female arnold swartzenager gnoll standing next to a diminutive boy-band male gnoll?!!!!
Safely tucked away in my fucking nightmares.
Pssst! Phil, did that guy just say the female hyenas have larger members than the male hyenas?
How do they then make sandwiches (out there on the dance floor)?
The same way multiple guys do?
Well, it’s incredibly painful for the female hyenas to give birth the first time and I think it can be fatal. But the ones who survive the ordeal are fucking badass ever after. XD
Also, it’s only a pseudo-member on female hyenas but the dimorphism does lean towards RL female hyenas being larger with more prominent pseudo-members and all the others bowing down to her.
All that said, I kind of assumed either the female was bigger and it was just hard to tell in the shot or she wasn’t a gnoll and just a humanoid wolf-brand fuzzy people, rather than a humanoid hyena-brand fuzzy people. Either way she was given breasts to verify her gender for a human audience (with either tucking of the pseudo-member or just humanoid genitalia to keep things simple.)
Are we sure that much thought goes into this comic?
Of course! Phil is a genius. He has surely thought of all these things. This is why he has such…creative…nightmares.
Oh good, just so long as we’re sure.
I imagine Phil’s mind’s internal creative processes as being quite close to the video for the Detroit Grand Pubahs’ “Sandwiches”.
Dunno if the mayo/pickle ratio is quite right, though :D
its really difficult to compare actual sizes but it appears that the female gnoll is quite a bit taller than Auraugu. in panel 2, she is standing up stage of the orc and still appears to be 3 or 4 fingers taller than he. i dont remember exactly where, but at some point i got it in my head that auraugu is about the same size as the male orc.
What games, indeed.
Listen, it’s not the GASTONIANS’ fault that you didn’t camp their spawn point.
But they’re playing on a hardcore server! The admins are playing favorites!!!
The Admins won’t let them camp you guys either. Cry some more~!
I’m a bit confused. In http://guildedage.net/webcomic/chapter-13/chapter-13-page-16/ , Auragu says “I am not a MAN!”. But here, they’re clearly referring to Auragu as “he”.
Was Auragu saying that they are not a HUman, but rather a kobold?
I am not a man! I am a free gnoll…ber!
well, Gnoll, but yes. he was saying he was not a (hu)man, not that he was not a male.
actually kind of disappointing to me for some reason.
He = male (not human). Jeez.
Actually, I think we need some more controversy in this strip… how about a Gnoll shemale? Or a gnome ladyboy. Either way is good.
Fun fact, the peacekeepers stop Tectonicus from being summoned in chapter one. It’s the first thing we see them do.
Peace Makers. Sorry.
well, we see them batteling it. not nececarilly stopping it ;)
That was all in the past, Hatman.
Specifically, it was during the interlude between chapters herp and derp. It’s canon and everything.
I don’t think they’d have the same luck here. They’re more powerful, but Syr’nj isn’t exactly able to do science to it now.
Why do people always try to summon things that require appeasment? If I had to summon some being, I’d do some background and work history checks first, pick the dark lord with the best work ethic and safety record, and make a tenative offer with a competitive wage package.
If they thought that far ahead, they’d have been able to win without needing to summon a god. Clearly, the A.I. never read the Evil Overlord List.
I had never read the Evil Overlord List. I am ordering large, tasteful, and motivational poster prints of it now, and will have my office redecorated shortly.
I will now ask my boss for an “appeasement package”. Wish me luck.
@JarrysKid: I lol’d!
I’m sorry, but… aren’t the concepts of “work ethic and safety record” and “DARK LORD” kind of diametrically opposed? If they mean to muse about minimizing the amount of mangled minions, wouldn’t that push them towards the “good” end of the spectrum?
Nah, Lawful Evil. Also, if you’ve read Eric (Faust), you’ll know that bureaucracy is infinitely worse that simple maiming.
Harky is looking RIGHT AT H.R.
Oh, MAN… you’re RIGHT! OK, harebrained theory (+long post) alert-
-Harky’s now suspicious that something supernaturally fishy’s going on
-And HR’s making 2 more tubes, goin’ to insert 2 more players
-HR’s gonna be one of the 2, to make sure the 5 die right this time
-HR will get in over his head OR run into trouble with Harky
-Harky will learn that this (so far) has been just a vid game
-Harky will realize that a REAL world DOES exist, and can use HR’s link or majik to… INVADE THE REAL WORLD, REALLY
-And it’ll be up to the Guildies to REALLY SAVE THE REAL WORLD!
It always made me wonder that a “this is just a vid game” subplot was being used; I didn’t mind it and found it somewhat interesting (though not as entrancing as Arkerra); so why use it, especially when it made lots of people upset? Well, if fantasy invades and threatens real life (a la The Last Action Hero), then that changes the stakes!
Or, this could just be my conspiracy theory-ish, pepperoni and anchovy altered daymare. If so, sorry, and pass the pepto.
Hrrm. Does that mean Harky is another player? Is there another company with tubs in their cellars with bodies in it that control the savage races? :o
Just throwing it out there, but when the god resurrect your enemies, you might want to reevaluate your life choices.
And when said enemies start using your own soldiers as ammo one must consider what gods they pi$$ed off!
All of them.
No kidding! It would appear that Harky doesn’t know about Gravedust’s little soul-arrow killing spree yet.
Then again, he’s a bit single-minded, so he probably wouldn’t care as long as he accomplishes his latest conquest.
Craigslist > Gigs > MacGuffins
Thu Aug 16
Genocidal chaotic death god NEEDED NOW (B’ial Vzek)
Date: 2012-08-16, 12:00PM EDT
Reply to: 4Ur4U9U-Ch4Mpi0n0f7h3Fu22YP30pl32@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Bough and shaman’s circle going up TONIGHT, need a death god to kill stinky unfuzzy elves, and filthy Gastonian PEACE-MAKERS! Chieftain impatient!
Right candidate will also get to wipe out evil greedy Gastonian empire, and hang with Auraugu, Champion of the Fuzzy Peoples! Hyes! Also get a prized trophy, a pair of axes signed by Harki, Leader of the Worlds’ Rebellion!
Fuzzy death gods preferred.
Warning, any use of the axes is at the user’s own risk. World’s Rebellion TM is not responsible for any berzerker-crazy contracted while using the axes.
Always send a gnoll when you need the stick fetched. That’s why Harky is so successful … he’s a good delegator.
looks like their ready to stick it to the man.
Auraugu, upon meeting, er, smelling Gravedust, immediately spills that Iver had warned him about Gravedust.
How did Iver know that Gravy had come back from the grave? Did Iver get scrooge’d by ghosts of dwarven mystics past, present, and future?
Dementia alert: uh…. who exactly is Iver, again?
Iver was the dwarf warlord that offed Dusty the first time with poisoned wine.
Thanks. *blushes* I don’t really have dementia. Now, who exactly is Iver, again?
Presumably they have some kind of scouts? Also, post-death, the guildies fought off the kraken (and I believe Auraugu was one of the commandos) which could have given him knowledge that they were still around.
I’m curious, did those runes just appear on the ground when the bough was implanted, or were they what the goblin shaman was drawing with that stick in panel 2?
Then is it a problem that the avian appears to be standing on several of them?
I wouldn’t think so.
Yeah. Pentagrams only have to be intact when the GM wants you to fail… the bad guys all have the “quantum pentagram” skill, which means that the summoning will work just fine unless someone *observes* that the pentagram is incomplete.
Such a pity that the fourth wall is a quantum isolator.
This is turning into a major shindig ox-roast, with music by DJ Penk.
A dog fetching a stick. I see what you did there.
Okay, bad guys win. But I’m confused. Nobody knew the branch existed, not even Syr’nj, and the gnoll did? Elves can hear ANYTHING new, but didn’t hear the gnoll kill their cadre of guards? Or the approaching army? Man, I should have walked in and take over years ago.
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
*EMAIL — Get a Gravatar
NOTE - You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Philly Comic Con
(Philadelphia, PA 5/30 - 6/2)
(Hartford, CT 7/12 - 7/14)
(Rockville, MD 8/23 - 8/25)