New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
Thus began the battle of Elm’s Deep.
You, good sirs, are brilliant.
The Savage Races came en masse.
In sacred groves they dared trespass.
“Let them come, let them fall.
Their own dead will be our wall.”
They came in darkness with their fight,
Hate burning fiercer than torchlight.
We clashed to protect ancestral land,
On our doorstep we made our stand.
They crashed like waves in their attack.
And each time we pushed them back.
Relentless was the hammer’s pound
As bodies fell, dead, to the ground.
Through the night the battle raged on,
Until victorious came the light of dawn!
Yet someday our sons will weep.
For they were too young to fight in Elm’s Deep.
I’ve practice at one-liners and puns, but verse and prose are a skill that I do not currently have, and it is a skill I respect. Thank you, good sirs, for your commentary here, and I thank the authors, for this wonderfully brilliant graphic novel – that we can heckle and discuss in a manner almost unimaginable pre-internet.
very impressed by your verse. Nicely done.
Lord of the inner rings.
“One shot, one kill” as Dick Cheney would say.
Dick is such a bragging liar… the guy lived!
Though the jury is still out on whether that’s a good thing.
now, now, don’t drag RL politics in here. it’ll just leave a mess i would rather avoid.
Aw. Politics is where I really clean up.
Mocking someone who happens to be a politician is not necessarily “politics” you know.
In the words of Tom Hanks, “Politics is who politics does”.
Politics is like a box of chocolates… but no matter which one you pick, it’s going to be poo.
Stop changing my face already!
Well, he’s still unhappy about it, can you imagine that?
Why can’t the guy be a sport about the Dickmeister shooting him in the face? It’s not like he could expect Dick NOT to be a dick about it! :D
Are you suggesting Cheney is a warlock?
First frame, Cale is peeing on the corpse. Can’t unsee it.
Syr: “Gravy – have you seen Daddy’s soul??”
GD: “Why yes – I just saw it.”
Syr: “How is he?”
Syr: “Is he in…Heaven?”
Gravy: (muttering) “Only if your idea of ‘Heaven’ is a gnoll’s ass.”
Syr: “Sorry, what?”
Gravy: “Erm…Yes, he is.”
The catchphrases are fine; He’s obviously got them macro’d in with his attacks.
Oh man, I want to throttle every kid who macros a /yell into an attack they spam.
if i’m ever forced to return to WoW, i’m doing that. with EVE local chat spam.
With the stick on the monsters side, I’d give it 50 – 1 odds the elves end in a penalty shoot out.
A living tree girl who routinely sleeps with a berserker whose got an Old One shoved into his body and is currently on drugs is calling herself an unnatural abberation?
Is is strange that I want Cuthullu to show up and go “No no, THIS is an abomination of reality.”?
Little known fact is that Cthulu is well respected, trained therapist. Azathoth is a good pediatrician, too.
He got an old one? Where? :S
Y’know, I didn’t think that the elves’d have their guards right at the very edge of the forest.
That is to say, their forward guards.
Which is why they weren’t at the dinner.
Far too forward.
Not to nit-pick, but I suspect that’s a counter-attack.
If that’s a counter-attack then I’m a introvert!!
And Syr’nj… DON”T go *there*.
That kind of spell-casting rarely turns out well.
It can turn out very ugly.
Just thought of fullmetal alchemist.
Though one of the characters as an animate suit of armor would be amazing.
I thought of Buffy the Vampire Slayer myself, both bringing back Joyce and Buffy.
Neither one of those were happy results.
Lets hope the others get involved soon, cos the elves need all the help they can get…
At least they are in the fight now.
I bet they will Frig-ure out what to do!
Come at us! Remember the Alamo! Remember Koom Valley! Fifty-four Forty or Fight! This one’s for little Johnny! They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist…!
Fight, everyone! Young! Box Elders! Poplar kids and nerds! Fight like a Dogwood! Sic ‘em, then Sycamore! Hit those Beeches in the Ash ’til the Fir flies off their Walnuts! Wait ’til you Cedar Buckeyes then shoot ‘em in the Chest… Nuts! CREPE, Myrtle! I’m hit! Take my Palm, Holly… Laurel, have the Elderberry me… find the Witchhazel and tell that Horitculture my gravesite weekly…… **cr-Oaks**
D’ere c’n only be wun t’ousand!
REMEMBER TUNNEL 17!!!!
(waits to see who gets it)
you sir win the internet! Digger is a classic!
Syr’nj is broken. Time for Byron to take the reins again.
Oh no! Byron is in prison, without his axes! I don’t know if the team is going to hack this one.
Just stand Scipio in the way. That’ll buy them a few hours to find the axes, at least.
Imagine the Scipio’s ire, that an invading army dare interrupt…whatever he is currently doing.
maybe learning to love nature in a whole new sense?
I do indeed think that scipio may be a blossoming nature lover. Or at least, causing part of nature to blossom.
I love the mere FOUR pikemen rushing the massive horde of enemies at the bottom.
at first I read that as Pikmin.
Pikmin would probably be more effective.
Pokemon – “Gravepuff, I choose you”
Pacman – wokkawokkawokkawokkawokka
i’m not sure if you’ve won or not, but a small voice inside of my head says i should be horrified and scared.
I think they’re just standing there to mop up anyone who gets past the volley of arrows, at least until further reinforcements arrive. Or at least, I think that’s their plan. I also think they’re going to die trying.
The plan has worked before. It’s a really good way to deal with infantry and cavalry. Your problem comes when one of two things happens: you run out of arrows, or the armour arrives.
It’s a clever gamble: If you can see, they’re right in the path of the rhinosaurs, so they’re gambling that rhinosaurs are actually much less dense than water, and that the noselizards will just stop on the tip of the pikes.
CLEARLY that’s a great plan.
Conservation of Ninjutsu says those four pikemen should kill everything on the screen.
Don’t they have to be ninjas for that to apply?
The one on the far left is named Ni’nj, actually
Nope! TVTropes has plenty of non-ninja examples.
“He needs you, Syr’Nj – okay, not literally, because of the death thing” – hehe – BAM, E-Mer(i)l… exhibit A in ‘what grief counselors ought NOT to say’
Also, Syr’s grief has morphed into self loathing, and the world around her is dying. Sorry, but right now she must be jolted out of it. A callous, insensitive comment about what a clod her dad was should do it. Oh, Friggy-poo….
I think her Mom needs to kick her ass. It’s a fair exchange, after all.
Frigg is needed for smiting Tectonicus.
The king is dead, but if they get the bough back, he might not stay that way.
And having come back, he might have a more open mind about things.
After all, these guys have only failed one mission yet.
(Ok, the search for the font didn’t pan out so good, either).
He certainly has an “open mind” one way or the other.
Awww Syr’nj, you’re not an aberration! You’re an arboration at worst!
Why do I get the feeling that after this is all done, the pompous elves are going to compose a somewhat repetitive song about how the savage hordes came to tear down their homeland?
Hang on, who inherits?
Good point. The king is dead, long live king Syr… or Fr… or Faereksch (if the kids are underage).
The older sister I imagine.
Looks like it’s up to Gravy to save the day/night!
OK. I know we get a new update in <9 hrs. & I eschew posting novels. But I have a 10 step theory for victory in this sitch. Could work.
1. Scip frees Byron
2. GD bird hunts – sonic boom arrow stuns most avians outta the sky and the team mops 'em up
3. Mom or Frigg snaps/slaps Syr back into the current reality
4. Syr potion-heals Bandit while Byron assesses sitch, & barks out strategy:
5. "GD – soul search the positions of the bough/Auraugu & Harky -
6. "Bandit – quick & stealthy, steal the stick back; GD cover her escape -
7. "E-Merl – escort/circlet Frigg & Rachel to the axetanks; Ka-SMITE them -
8. "E-Merl – then to front lines, illuse-confuse as Scip melees there -
9. "Syr and Fr get to elevated hidden sniper roosts and mop up -
10. "I'll sneak around their flank, behind the battle, near Harky; I'll take the antidote to my "preventzerk" meds, then "potion of anger". DO NOT APPROACH THAT AREA. If you hear "HAAAUUUGGHHH" coming towards the camp, Syr, wait till you see me and unload all your sedatives into me."
11. If Tectonicus appears…. I'm open to suggestions…
Steps 1-3 can happen simultaneously. Rest could occur over as little as 8 min. Thoughts? Disagree? What would your plan be?
Nice. But that would take many pages, and I believe the fight will be over much sooner, one way or the other. Why didn’t you use the bough?
The bough – D’OH!!! What a miss.
Your gravatar giving me GD’s “evil eye” enhances my shame.
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