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New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

I don't get it.



Chapter 7 – Page 17

on October 15, 2010
Chapter: Chapter 07

└ Tags: Bandit, Baron Splande, Gravedust
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Discussion (64) ¬

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  1. Alice Macher
    Alice Macher
    October 15, 2010, 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Aww…poor Gravedust.

    Also, “Plotzo?” Is this club the fantasy genre equivalent of the Borscht Belt?

  2. Hypothetical
    Hypothetical
    October 15, 2010, 12:04 am | # | Reply

    It lacks timing, but it makes up for it in racism.

    I give it 3 out of 4 Simon.

  3. Randonimity
    Randonimity
    October 15, 2010, 12:06 am | # | Reply

    The audience’s reaction makes me want to give Gravedust a big hug :<

    • ahdok
      ahdok
      October 15, 2010, 2:53 am | # | Reply

      are lot of them are thinking “this guy, what’s the point?”

  4. Meirnon
    Meirnon
    October 15, 2010, 12:32 am | # | Reply

    I want to turn that last panel into a meme.

  5. SaltyKracka
    SaltyKracka
    October 15, 2010, 12:32 am | # | Reply

    Gravedust appears to have grasped the essence of minstrelry.

  6. Dean
    Dean
    October 15, 2010, 12:38 am | # | Reply

    Comedy gold!

  7. Wyvv
    Wyvv
    October 15, 2010, 1:02 am | # | Reply

    Two men walk into a bar. You’d think one of them would’ve noticed.

    Did I say men? I meant dwarves.

    • Balmar Foghaven
      Balmar Foghaven
      October 15, 2010, 9:48 am | # | Reply

      A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for ten drinks. Within seconds, he’s finished the last one and graciously thanks the bartender. Surprised, the bartender tells him: “You drank those down faster than anyone I’ve seen before.” The man smiles and says “You would too if you have what I have.”
      “What’s that?” The bartender asks.
      “No money,” the man says, then runs out of the bar.

      • BeetlesBane
        BeetlesBane
        October 15, 2010, 10:17 am | # | Reply

        Did I say man? I meant gnome.

        • barsukthom
          barsukthom
          October 15, 2010, 6:16 pm | # | Reply

          Ha AHha HA ha ha HAHAHAHA

      • SteelRaven
        SteelRaven
        October 15, 2010, 9:19 pm | # | Reply

        Two men walk into a bar, the third ducks.

      • Catbus
        Catbus
        October 15, 2010, 9:59 pm | # | Reply

        A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a beer.”

        “And a mop.”

        • Hawk
          Hawk
          October 16, 2010, 12:08 pm | # | Reply

          A string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “No, we don’t serve your kind here.”

          The string goes out in the street, tears his hair and stomps his feet, ties himself in a knot, just gets really worked up.

          Then, taking a deep breath, he calms and enters the bar a second time. And a second time, he asks for a drink.

          The bartender glares at him and says, “Aren’t you the same string that was just in here?”

          “No, I’m a frayed knot.”

          • Devon
            Devon
            October 16, 2010, 12:10 pm | # | Reply

            It’s just not as funny written. ):

          • SmallIvoryKnight
            SmallIvoryKnight
            October 18, 2010, 12:48 am | # | Reply

            A string walks into a bar and says “BC8F12D2791A1A90″ The bartender is totally confused, until a second string walks in and says “Forgive my friend. He isn’t NULL terminated.”

            • SamB
              SamB
              October 21, 2010, 1:14 am | # | Reply

              That’s awfully tame looking garbage…

    • AMRIV
      AMRIV
      October 16, 2010, 8:05 pm | # | Reply

      A man walks into a bar.

      Did I say man? I meant dwarf.

      • khavren
        khavren
        October 17, 2010, 11:50 pm | # | Reply

        Did I say bar? I meant dwarf.

  8. Joe
    Joe
    October 15, 2010, 1:21 am | # | Reply

    The faces really do make the man.
    Bandit brought it up and now I can’t unsee it.

    • bwernard
      bwernard
      October 15, 2010, 5:24 pm | # | Reply

      Third panel stare spells DOOM

  9. ChikenKannon
    ChikenKannon
    October 15, 2010, 1:36 am | # | Reply

    HA! Dwarf!

  10. pacientKashenko
    pacientKashenko
    October 15, 2010, 2:28 am | # | Reply

    Ohh man thats gold, pure gold.

    • barsukthom
      barsukthom
      October 15, 2010, 6:16 pm | # | Reply

      And now we’re back to racial profiling again…

  11. Malificus
    Malificus
    October 15, 2010, 2:48 am | # | Reply

    Oh those wacky dwarves and their alcohol. What would they ever do without it?

    • barsukthom
      barsukthom
      October 15, 2010, 6:17 pm | # | Reply

      Mushrooms.

  12. ahdok
    ahdok
    October 15, 2010, 2:52 am | # | Reply

    aw man, he’s telling jokes.

    I thought he’d deliver a lecture about equal rights. that’d get them laughing.

  13. Dojang
    Dojang
    October 15, 2010, 6:12 am | # | Reply

    hammer? but i hardly know her!

    props to erica on that last panel. even without sadfaec- really nailed the right colours to subtly throw that one from a joke to a darker mood.

  14. Dusty668
    Dusty668
    October 15, 2010, 6:33 am | # | Reply

    Three dwarfs walk out of a tavern.

    Hey, it could happen.

  15. TexasNinjaBuzzard
    TexasNinjaBuzzard
    October 15, 2010, 6:44 am | # | Reply

    I wonder if this is how Carlos Mencia got started.

  16. Hawk
    Hawk
    October 15, 2010, 7:12 am | # | Reply

    I…uh…erm…

    That’s not very funny. Or possibly I am reading this when much too tired.

    • Locke
      Locke
      October 15, 2010, 6:37 pm | # | Reply

      You lack taste, my friend.

      • Hawk
        Hawk
        October 16, 2010, 12:06 pm | # | Reply

        I was very tired. Also, it wasn’t Gravedust’s joke that wasn’t funny.

        It was the last three panels part. I get it, now. But at the time, I was all “wtf? was someone slow to hit the laugh track?”

  17. TraderInTown
    TraderInTown
    October 15, 2010, 7:29 am | # | Reply

    Ha! Oh, those crazy dwarves!

    *Laughtrack, freeze frame.*

  18. Nate
    Nate
    October 15, 2010, 7:33 am | # | Reply

    Oh God it’s like a trainwreck, and ever car is packed with sad clowns. I want to look away but the chorus of squeeking noses and tear filled shoes is too great.

  19. 1d4caltrop
    1d4caltrop
    October 15, 2010, 9:12 am | # | Reply

    Ooo…Ardaic is not going to be happy, because Gravey is absolutely SLAYING that audience!

  20. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    October 15, 2010, 10:09 am | # | Reply

    Why did the dwarf cross the road? To get to the booze on the other side!

    I love how Gravy’s alternating between “hey, I’m entertaining” and “omg, look at these fucking people”.

  21. Snowblind
    Snowblind
    October 15, 2010, 11:07 am | # | Reply

    In my head, I hear Mel Brooks as Comicus in History of the World Part One.

    Gravedust: Have you heard of the gnomes new religion? They are a laugh riot! First of all, they are so poor…
    Swiftus: How poor are they?
    Comicus: Thank you! They are so poor… that they only have *one* God!
    Comicus: But you humans are rich. You’ve got a lot of gods.You’ve got a god for everything. The only thing you don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation… but I hear that’s coming quickly.

  22. DCB
    DCB
    October 15, 2010, 2:08 pm | # | Reply

    In Savasi lands, joke tells you!

  23. ThatGuy
    ThatGuy
    October 15, 2010, 6:11 pm | # | Reply

    @dojang: Gravedust seems to get more pale based on how much faith in the world he has here :P WHen he introduces himself he’s all bright and cheerful…then they laugh and he gets paler. Then he tries to tell his joke and lightens up a bit…then he might as well have lost a quart of blood as you pointed out heh

  24. King of Zeroes
    King of Zeroes
    October 15, 2010, 6:34 pm | # | Reply

    Gravedust is still funnier than Dane Cook.

  25. AMRIV
    AMRIV
    October 15, 2010, 8:03 pm | # | Reply

    I just noticed something. It didn’t register at first ’cause I was unaware it was possible, but Gravedust is actually smiling in that second panel.

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      October 15, 2010, 10:27 pm | # | Reply

      Yes, isn’t he cure?

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        October 15, 2010, 10:29 pm | # | Reply

        *cute

        Goddammit, an edit button, an edit button, my starship for an edit button!

        • hannza314
          hannza314
          October 16, 2010, 3:21 pm | # | Reply

          I love it when people use shakespeare as a basis for new jokes. and I’m not being sarcastic.

          and you get mad props for a)having such an awesome name and pic and b)staying in character

          • ahdok
            ahdok
            October 16, 2010, 7:07 pm | # | Reply

            meow.

          • Jean-Luc
            Jean-Luc
            October 17, 2010, 1:46 am | # | Reply

            Always a pleasure sir.

  26. Tamren
    Tamren
    October 16, 2010, 1:03 am | # | Reply

    I guess the humour came up short.

  27. Carl-E
    Carl-E
    October 16, 2010, 3:40 am | # | Reply

    “I got a million of ‘em!”

  28. Twigs
    Twigs
    October 16, 2010, 12:58 pm | # | Reply

    Two men walk into a bar. The dwarf behind them doesn’t because he’s too short.

    The old ones are the best

  29. dr pepper
    dr pepper
    October 17, 2010, 3:39 am | # | Reply

    A woman walks into a bar. She apologizes and quickly checks the boards for damage. Did i say woman? I meant wood elf.

  30. dr pepper
    dr pepper
    October 17, 2010, 3:44 am | # | Reply

    a woman walks into a bar. She throws a grappling hook and scales it, pausing only to steal tow pocket watches. Did i say woman? I meant gnome.

  31. dr pepper
    dr pepper
    October 17, 2010, 3:46 am | # | Reply

    a woman walks into a bar. She whips out her 2 handed mace and demolishes it in fury. Did i say woman? Yes, i believe i did.

    • SteelRaven
      SteelRaven
      October 17, 2010, 6:23 pm | # | Reply

      Oh, a human joke. Somewhere, a Dwarf is rotflmao!

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle.
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