New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
Best just wants to be the very best, like no one ever was…
He’ll catch the group in their real test, yet heroics is not his cause.
I see what you did there.
He has traveled across the land, searching far and wide.
Teaching women to understand, the power he has inside.
Gotta shag ‘em aaaaalll!!!
Its you and him! He’s shagging for destiny!
I know this will pay off soon. not worried at all.
I know you’d rather read about the rest of the gang, but this page is the least they could do.
“But when do I get to save THE WORLD?”
C’mon, he’s just trying his Best.
I dunno, he’s doing a pretty good job so far. Whatever problems there are with his personality, he is a legitimately powerful and skilled individual.
best knows best
Yeah, that’s his problem in a nutshell. :)
He’s trying his best and it’s still not good enough
is anything even threatening the world right now? If he doesn’t know what the threat to the world is, there’s not much he can do about it.
Saying his best isn’t good enough right now is like deriding an Olympic level athlete for not getting the gold medal, when the Olympics haven’t even started yet.
I think that’s the point. Best wants there to be something threatening the world to selfishly be able to save it.
So he’s the villain of this story.
Really, was there ever any doubt?
I still don’t believe it.
I’m with you. I don’t know that Best has it in him nor the resources to do it. Maybe this will lead up to him going through his journey and being at the camp to sing away all those arrows flying at our dear Syr’Nj.
Um, maybe the suggestion that he’s not actually the Chosen One at the very end of the chapter where he’s introduced?
Poor Best, if only I cared about his story. but I don’t his only hope is to save some of the important characters. then he could at least be an important plot device.
…preferably dieing heroically (or otherwise, just so he dies) while doing it.
From the looks of it, he will probably die of a STD first.
Time travel plotline time.
I rather hopes that he chokes to death on a chicken bone.
Or gets run over by a gong sellers cart.
Or gets drunk, falls in the canal, and drowns.
Or… well, you get the picture….
Oh yeah. When you’re focused on how much of a massive douche he is, it’s easy to forget he’s actually a pretty talented sonofvabitch.
Basically, he’s a douche BECAUSE he’s pretty damn good at what he does.
And he “knows” he’s the prophesied Hero. With some people that can go to their heads. That probably plays a part as well.
The only prophecy he’s a hero to is one that is self-fulfilled. Saying you’re awesome enough seems to make it come true!
Only way I ever got out of therapy.
You know, I can’t help but wonder what happened to the actual prophesied dude.
I would love to know this as well.
Your typical adventurer in a nutshell.
Not just pretty good… You could even say he’s the Best at what he does.
…therein lies the definition of a bard, amirite?
Seriously…there is a bard imo who is a bigger annoyance than PB. Well, there may be more than one, but I’ve dealt with this one. His name is Galdorin Visigothe. I had to confront…ok, kill…him for my epic and savored every. single. backstab.
Woo! I worried he might be gone.
Best delivers his name.
Best. Payet Best. International man of mystery.
He’s a private eye, a crooked cop, a secret agent and a celebrity pharmacist, Payet Best.
I think he’s going to have to jump.
OF COURSE! ISTANBUL!
Now it’s Istanbul, not Constantiople.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks.
Song…stuck in head…argh.
I love that song!
Payet Best. International Man of Doucherry.
He’s the smartest he’s the bravest he’s the fastest he’s the BEST! DANGER BARD, DANGER BAARD, DANGER BAARRRRD
(doot dododo doot dododo DOOT do DOOOO!)
Aw, poor spoiled Payet. Pansexual orgies not doing it for you anymore?
Ah Payet Best, nice to see you again.
So you didn’t fail in a hilariously bloody way? That’s cool.
I wanna know what happened to the others though.
I’ve loaned you some of my interest and this is how you Payet back? Best be getting to the good stuff
You are bard from posting further on this topic
This isn’t the best time to making the worst puns :P
Or is it the worst time to be making the Best puns?
You are all ban’d together.
Are you kidding? Look at the strip. Best has been instrumental in some world-changing events. Just because from our perspective he plays second fiddle to the main band doesn’t mean following his conduct isn’t a good choice. Stop harping on.
and what does he have to show for it, tangibly? I don’t see a single bit of lute from all his work.
Then again, this butt wart doesn’t NEED friends, does he?
I hate Best >.< My world is crumbling, imagining that GA is now going to be about Best instead of the characters I'd come to like.
You’re just not “mused” to him having the spotlight, Hawk.
*Is punched for the worst pun this comic’s comments has seen yet*
Yes I will oblige you.
…. Ouch. Dammit, I don’t know why some people can’t seem to find me… A”muse”ing.
*Is punched again, mostly for using the same word in a pun twice in a row*
Re using a pun is like re using a condom :(
He does seem to have a FEW “friends” strewn about him in that last panel though.
What do you mean by ‘tangibly’? His listed accomplishments are as “real” and tangible as anything else in this comic.
my post was all a vehicle to get to use ‘lute’ as a pun, people
honestly, everyone’s aggressively questioning me, like they’re all on their minstral cycle.
Huh… would’ve thought Best would have a bigger fanbase… well, it is 12 in the morning…
So, how long do you think we’re going to wait for a cliffhanger to the actual party (not that orgies don’t make great parties…)?
And how long before the women realize they’re carrying Best’s spawn?
They’ll feel honored to be carrying the BEST children in the world!
I like how your comment conveys the idea that no matter what woman Best has sex with, they’ll end up pregnant. Infertile? Pfft. No ovaries? Not a problem for Best’s “magic flute”.
That should be canon. That should be the official power of all Shit Elves. They’re super virile. Or, for the female Shit Elves, super fertile.
He’s so virile that the men he has sex with will now only impregnate women with his genes.
Wow, nobody has commented on the alt-text? It’s the Best yet.
If this was the best they could do, I’d hate to see the worst.
The alt-text is the only thing that is keeping me tuning in three times a week, rather than once a month. The implication that there might be more of the rest of the gang to talk about. Even so, my Payet Best tolerance is very, very low.
Can’t be Best, no horses present at the orgy.
Nah, he’s giving them up for the season. He made them feel inadequate.
Obviously he’s a Pathfinder Bard. Seriously, they’re crazy.
Oh? How so?
Oh. It’s Payet. Yeah. Huh.
Nice work covering all the naughty bits, though. None of it looks too awkward.
Seriously, nothing looks too unnatural or out of place. Great job.
Ah, Best proving once again that any time is the best time for Best time. Or trying to, at least.
does this mean wipe?
LOL. I actually LOL’d. He’s BAAAAACK!
but seriously, was there ever any doubt he would return?
Save the cheerleader, save the world.
Or in Best’s case, “Screw the cheerleader, screw the world.
One cutie at a time.”
I love to hate that shit elf…. Somehow I think soon I will like him weather I like it or not.
I have a feeling we may all feel this way in the end, and then hate ourselves for it.
i bet he regrets leaving the group.
Seeing what eventually happened to them (Not that we know what happened after that) I don’t think he would if he knew.
This is mean, Phil. You and Mr. Campbell read my comment and decided to make me suffer for being such a smartass. Dammit…
… That aside, how is his name pronounced? Because I’ve been saying it as “Pay-It”. But if it is, in fact, “Pie-It”, then that opens up a whole new world of punbelievable jokes. I ask because, well, to be honest, I’m going to need a LOT of puns to forget about the cliff hanger from last week and enjoy Payet’s adventure. :P
Best has that look on his face because he has no recollection what so ever of how he ended up in a pile of naked people… again.
To be fair, there are far worse ways to wake up.
You could be the red head on the left.
Or a passive partner of a guy whose condom is hanging from the table on the left
That’s a SOCK.
But speaking of the table on the left, I’d hate to be the guy that’s leaning on it. It looks like that dude’s foot is in uncomfortably close proximity…
But you see, there are 13 people which makes 26 feet and yet we see only 1 sock-like object (well, 2 may be hiding behind the textbox, but we won’t know for sure). On the other hand the room is literaly filled with small rags, too small to be anything but footwraps. Which makes sense, because socks, contrary to footwraps, would be an anachronism in quasi-medieval universe. All in all, however terrible it may seem, we must accept that this object is indeed a monstrous, filled condom.
Hose were worn in the middle ages.
There’s at least one other, and maybe Payet is the only one who bothers wearing socks (or hose as the case may be).
It really doesn’t look like a condom, used or otherwise, to my eyes.
Or possibly a filled monster’s condom.
By 1000 AD, socks became a symbol of wealth among the nobility. From the 16th century onwards, an ornamental design on the ankle or side of a sock has been called a clock.
The invention of a knitting machine in 1589 meant that socks could be knitted six times faster than by hand. Nonetheless, knitting machines and hand knitters worked side by side until 1800.
Or he could have been lucky enough to be the passive partner of the guy with the huge condom
Wait. The goblins were considering whether to join the Savage Races, and Best, a member of a “civilized” race, destroyed their home? Way to go, asshole.
I’m sure the name of the manor is a reference, or SOMETHING about the incident is a reference to some other work, but I can’t place it.
Also, I’d laugh if Best was accidentally responsible for almost all the antagonists. Harki? His illegitimate child. Evil Mr. No Beard? Probably loaned him some poison. The Cultists? He probably helped found them after a drunken orgy and has no recollection of it.
i swear on all that’s holy(graknar’s hammer, odin’s spear, etc)…
you guys make it out to seattle for the emerald city con, i’m buying you guys a beer.
Hmm…the cover of this arc looks like Noah Bennet. Syr’Nj is kinda like the cheerleader of the gr….AMG Best is Peter Petrelli! Save the Medic, Save the World!
I keed, I keed.
i’ll just leave this here.
Jesus Fucking christ I laughed forever.
Oh wow, that’s great.
I was going to save that for the next Guest Week, but I’m glad you posted it here for the commenters to see. Thanks, Buddha!
No worries. I had planned on posting it to comments anyway ’cause that’s less obnoxious than trolling for a plug and people still get a lol, which is the point. If you still wanna use it after I’ve soiled it by popping its posting cherry, go for it, but only if you’re short I guess. I’ll probably make more like this anyway ’cause it’s a great way to practice comicing.
Maybe you should add a “bonus” section to the menu (like what Manly Guys has) for stuff like this and that awesome byron / red sky picture someone drew a while back. Or even doodles John does from time to time or something, cause I’d love to see stuff like that.
And I shall treasure my star forever.
What Byron/red sky pic are you referring to?
hopefully we’ll be on Best for a while, I’ve got something I wanna draw.
You can be on Best all on your own, buddy.
And then she bangs his cold, stiff body.
Well at that point they’d both technically be dead so it could work.
Thank you, Frigg. We all needed that.
Oh.. my.. lord.
You are wonderful thank you oh god.
Totally called it :D
…scrolling down, i expected the last sentence to be another fantasy culture reference:
“you may have heard of me.”
but hey… :)
Is this strip about Best, or is it about Bono? I’m pretty sure he also woke after an orgy, and wondered “I should be using my terrible music and massive ego for something good in this world.”
Bravo, get served Bono, get served.
I freakin’ love you guys.
Hey now, I feel that he is the best character in this story. I’m the president of the best fan club!
Considering he is the only protagonist alive – it was not a particullary stiff competition
Something something rigor mortis joke pun.
I sign up for the Best fanclub ever. XD
Love what you’re doing, Phil. Super psyched to have Best back and can’t wait to see where it’s going!
Also he totally turned the tables on those sirens and made them want him.
Great writing you guys! Love the pacing ;)
I actually thought that it could be Peter the Blest in the last panel (I went back and Peter the Blest is brownhaired, but that look on payet’s face is just one I would not expect on Payet’s face). But yeah, the #1 douchebag is back.
If you just to your best it will eventually payet off. :D
*do your best
Noticing that Payet’s depicted deeds are coming off a bit less than heroic. The first, he just set fire to the house- there’s someone crying to one side, and figures helping the injured limp. The basilisk and the sirens could be legit, but the gnolls were just in the area and hadn’t hurt anybody ‘yet’.
That’s just the anti-Best bias talking.
Oh, Best is fantastically heroic… from the point of view of Gastonia. Which, I imagine, is the point of view he’s working from. Goblins try to join the savage race alliance? Punish them for their betrayal. Gnolls patrolling around human lands? Aw hell naw, we can’t stand for that. They might, you know, start something.
The main reason I really like Best is because, out of all the main characters, he is the most Player Character like. When confronted with a complex political situation, most PCs will not take time to consider the varying points of view and embark on a diplomatic solution. No. That would be silly. They think about it for five minutes, pick the side the most appeals to them, and go kick ass. Less complicated and just as rewarding. Best has decided he is supporting Gastonia. Therefore, anyone NOT Gastonian is an annoyance at best, enemy at worst.
It’s not his fault that the rest of the players have managed to find a GM that likes long, plot-filled campaigns. All Best has managed to get is a series of adventure modules. Sure, it’s still adventuring, but it’s not like there’s any long term goals beyond levelling more.
I don’t know what kind of games you play in, but these days it seems all my PC’s do is debate the political and social merits of there actions and the impact of their adventures on the greater scheme of things. I have to attack them with orcs, drow, and gith just to get them into the action. But yeah, Best seems like he prefers the kick in the door style of play.
In a Dresden Files game I was in, for one mission we were given we spent an hour or so going through the slow investigation, debating the political consequences of our actions, trying to work out the best solution for the city.
Then we decided that we weren’t really getting anywhere and that it was taking too long. As such we launched an overwhelming assault on the Black Court’s only remaining stronghold in the north of England, killing everyone inside.
The Black Court were the ones who had given us the original job in the first place. We just decided we didn’t like them any more. After all, they were evil.
Coincidentally, this sparked off a series of events that led to an all-out vampire war in London, which is now the backdrop for a second game run by the same GM.
This makes me happy.
There’s no kill like Overkill. Except for Fishkill.
I miss the scooby gang and why why why? do i have to look @ the cowardly “hit the team leader from behind” dick head?
Cause he´s the BEST! :D
Also sole survivor now. XD
Being that he’s not really the prophesied one (the real one showed up to the village after he left), he still does a pretty good job at being a overpowered nutjob.
Lets hope there is no redemption for him, I prefer to hate him. lol
I was just wondering why do we get to see male nipples but no female ones? Why the double standard?
Maybe we can hope for a Guilded Age/Oglaf crossover?
I vote yes for that *leer*
You know hawk, i remember you introducing this to me quite a few comics back… there’s a special place in hades for you… can’t stop reading oglaf
Awww, you’re welcome!
I’m ‘up’ for it! (insert rimshot)
Cumsprite: Mistress, mistress, the shit-elf is fantasizing about you again!
Well, I’m all for gender equality. Why should they repress the sexuality and natural beauty of the woman? Feminists should freak out over this.
(Also, I especially vote for the gender equality of the nice looking redhead on the left.)
Women: Have a history of exploitation of their bodies.
Men: Do not.
There is your equality, my friend.
He’s the most interesting man in the world…(made me think of that ad) ;)
A tribute to Best: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UpqLhYQz28&feature=related
I was thinking more along the lines of this…
Yes. That’s the one.
Ah, thank you, Captain. I was WAITING for this to delve into puns. I’d like to see you best this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fWvub_WBho
This one goes out to all you Best-haters out there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_L4Rixya64
Man, now I don’t know if I can ever listen to that song again without imposing Payet’s face over Dave Grohl’s.
Last panel : Well, now. That’s an Orgy with big “O”.
Maybe he has that look on his face because he didn’t get his big O.
We all know the answer Best but we never will tell you.^^
I foresee that he shall rise and rise until he becomes the BEST king.
And then he shall be like a father to his people.
And to all the complainers –
YOU – JUST – GOT – THE – BEST – SCENE.
PS: Just a little observation – did someone else think that Best got younger in this artstyle?
Hard to tell; I mean, the one scene we get, he’s tiny.
Of course, orgies may make shit elves younger, so, who knows?
Pft. Best only wants what’s Best for HIM.
GA and Menage a 3 crossover?
*Eyes pop out of head*
I don’t “love to hate” Best, nor do I think he’s in any way funny or interesting. I’d love to see him fade away or die or otherwise be removed from the story. He gets on my nerves.
Seconded. I was ecstatic when he left last time. To me he serves the same purpose that Jar Jar Binks did (i.e. the story would be better without him). It’s not too often it happens, but the authors have actually managed to come up with someone I genuinely wish harm upon.
My excitement for GA has just been severely dampened, and I’m sorry to see it happen, since for some time now, it’s been at or near the top of my list of favourite webcomics.
Fair Warning to the Authors: If this turns into the “Payet Best show” I can’t guarantee how much longer Guilded Age will hold my attention . . .
. . . Though of course I realize that my revulsion is not universal.
Thirded. He’s not QUITE as annoying as Jar Jar, though. Actually, I can’t think of any character in anything anywhere who is as annoying as Jar Jar.
Haters gonna hate.
They see him bestin’.
I am interested to see if he can do anything other than make a colossal annoyance of himself.
And I do like making fun of him.
But let’s face it, if this was a guy at your gaming table, what would you do? Either buy him a beer or kick him the hell out. He’s just not the kind of guy that provokes lukewarm reactions.
I’m not suprised that Best had a mirror on him to kill the basilisk. I’m just not sure how he survived “not looking at himself” until he could replace the one that was depicted broken. I really do hate to say it but I think he may be growing on me.
Also, this may be the “Best” coming out of me. But I still see my initial prediction coming true, back when i first called Best out for being a douche. ( I was first, I’m the best! Rawr, rawr, rawr).
Nah. I think he’s a deconstruction of the “perfect” fantasy hero. I’m thinking that he’ll be the party’s Sixth Ranger.
That’s not a basilisk, that’s a cockatrice. So now I get to add misnaming things to the list of things I dislike about Best.
Basilisk and cockatrice are 2 names for the same creature. It’s only in D&D and AD&D that they are made separate.
Really? I never researched the historical aspects of basilisk/cockatrices. Then again I’d never heard of a cockatrice OR a basilisk until I played AD&D.
heh, heh. You said cock-atrice. That’s so TOTALLY Best.
The cockatrice (oops, now i’ve said cock-a-twice!) of legend was created when rooster hatched an egg laid by a snake, hence the creature has some of the nature of both. It is also called basilisk, from the greek “basil-” meaning “king” because it rules over other snakey things. Its powers are variously described as petrification, super acid, or super poison, depending on the source. Also, sometimes it is not a snake’s egg but an egg laid by the rooster itself. In real life roosters do sometimes lay eggs, but of course they are empty.
Woot, learnin’ something while reading comments! :D
I note with some interest that the Gastonian soldiers are bedecked in precisely the same way as Byron (sans looted shoulderplates and red coloration). Does this tell us anything about our favorite berserker?
Well, it gives me an idea to where Byron possible got the clothes, but I have no doubt about how they got “dyed” red.
Dry blood is brown… so maybe he went berserk on a barrel of beets?
Duh. You thought I mean blood? Please. As if I’m THAT stupid.
Oh boy it’s Best… *sigh* I had a feeling we would jump back to him for a bit.
We’ve already had one of these adventures. Can we have the others?
Also, is that Byron’s ol’ drinking buddy in the picture? What’s-his-name the Sunderer? (Sindar?)
Everyone thinks that Best is going to end up being the Dragon to the soon-to-be-revealed Big Bad, but I’d place my bets on Mr. Sunderer there. I mean, I have no idea what that class can do, but it sounds kick-ass.
Sundar. That could be him, but only if he dyed his hair and lost about 30 pounds.
>We know you would rather be reading about the rest of the gang
Naaaaah. This is awwwwright.
I think what really irritates me is that Best literally is the best at everything he does. when will he get whats coming to him?
err, i mean other than the girls at the orgy.
Seriously thought. I really do like seeing Payet again.
Doesn’t an orgy count as “hero time?”
I’m okay with the change in Best’s art style (though he was more distinctive before), but shouldn’t he still have elf ears?
…or is that perchance not actually him posing in front of the captives? The last panel figure could conceivably have elf ears, and looks a bit more like Best, allowing for the tiny scale…
Okay, nevermind, that’s one of the Gastonian soldiers thanking Best for his help… oops:)
I hope best dies a horrible, horrible meaningless death I hate him so much.
This is a fantasy universe. he could literally get crabs. or even lobsters.
Damnit Best, stop messing with the stereotype that the arrogant jackass is the one who ends up being useless. You’re not actually supposed to be as awesome as you think you are
Hopefully, though, this WILL flesh out Best’s character as a member of the cast. It’d be nice for him to be more than just a dick.
Um then the orgy seems to show the opposite.
hmmm, if STDs really are rampant here, someone might have to call Best’s next of skin.
I saw wut u did thar.
Ugh. Best. I hate this.
Haha, happy to see some big questions there relating to Best.
Here I thought “oh! everything is ok!” and let my heart relax, but back to anxious, fretting anticipation!– hrrlkkfhsh
Hell YEAH for Payet Best! Can´t wait to see how he in his cocky douchbag jerk attitude will somehow save the world though he´s not meant to do so actually. XDDD
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