Annotated 37-23
Nice bit of blocking to have Syr’Nj actually run away from the bad news instead of just listlessly walking off. Frigg has succeeded in making Syr’Nj care again about putting on a good face for the group. If she didn’t, she might’ve just had a meltdown right in front of them.
Hey, here’s a surprising payoff no one was thinking about: Sundar has plenty of feels about Byron’s loss!
And this is a solid juxtaposition of the extremes of his range: he goes from “…NO, I’M not crying, whadda I look like, some kinda LITTLE KID?” to a question that’s actually compelling on Syr’s intellectual level. Seriously, why not cry?
“Pass me the jug. I think I might need to fix that thing.”
Also the tunnel-vision. Didn’t call it such, but others picked it right up. That’s what it is. And she would do well to recognize it too. It might let her continue her work, but… It’s really hampering her ability to continue to do her work. Oddly enough.
Just sometimes it’s good to cry. And if that makes a person a little kid… Then just remember that in the grand scheme of the huge vast uncaring universe… You’re but a teeny tiny little child of humankind that really, REALLY doesn’t always have to be able to handle absolutely everything. Universe also likes to give to those who think they can take. So… Just give a little sniffle, wet that pillow and then get right back up. It clears the eyes too pretty good. That’s what tears do. You start seeing things a bit better after a cry or two.
I just went through all pages since the end of the berserker disaster.
No-one, not even Syr’Nj’s own sister, has offered her any consolation or comfort.
The only exception might be Frigg, but she says things in such a Frigg kind of way that it’s really not very supportive.
So unless someone did it off-screen, no-one has given Syr’Nj room to grieve or process her loss.
She has not been crying over Byron, but when the hell did anyone give her a chance to?
This does not excuse her lapses in judgement or oversights as a leader.
But it is heartbreaking to me how none of her friends or family are there for her, yet they all expect her to be mindful of their needs.
Gravedust did say it wounded him that Syr’Nj should experience another loss so soon after losing her father (in old man time, there’s been like a couple of weeks between those events). And I feel like we can assume Fr’Nj would’ve said something to her about it in a scene we didn’t see (perhaps just prior to the scene between them we did see), just because it’d be wildly out of character for her not to.
But I take your point. Basically everyone in this chapter except WAV and Clair is reeling and numbed from their own traumas, which makes it hard for them to reach out and be there for each other. (And WAV and Clair don’t really know what’s going on well enough to be of any help.) The petrified-wood exterior Syr’Nj has been maintaining hasn’t been too inviting of interaction: Scipio seemed downright intimidated by her at the end of the last chapter. But they probably could’ve pushed past that and recognized her pain if they hadn’t been busy processing their own.
I feel like by the time Scipio leaves with Fr’Nj that he has either decided that it’s not his place to console her (and generally he seems to be big on not sticking his nose where he doesn’t think it belongs) and, in an almost husbandly way, has for sure decided that Fr’Nj’s needs take precedence over everyone else’s.
Makes sense!
»Frigg has succeeded in making Syr’Nj care again about putting on a good face for the group. If she didn’t, she might’ve just had a meltdown right in front of them.«
Me thinks that’s just what they should have done. Let it out, don’t try to cover it up. Everybody hurts, especially in this moment, and I bet that Syr’Nj’s attempt to cling to her stay professional façade is not only obstructing herself but also everyone else in terms of acknowledging each other’s pain, and dealing with it.