Annotated 39-21
Syr’Nj is defying not only death here, but also our plot. Yes, Kur’Ik was originally slated to die in this scene, a casualty of Gastonian treachery, all her young promise snuffed out by uncaring men grasping for power. There were a few other differences, like an assassin (script-named Slyke) who was more into throwing knives, and…well, here’s most of the original scene, see for yourself. What’s remarkable is that we barely changed the danger to Kur’Ik at all: we just pushed ourselves, and therefore pushed Syr’Nj, to find a way to save her from the death we’d earlier designed to be inescapable.
PAGE TWENTY
1. As Syr’Nj and Kur’Ik try to scramble to their feet, Slyke crouches and prepares to throw another knife.
SYR’NJ
Who sent you?
2. Syr’Nj throws a tankard at Slyke, which upsets his aim ever so slightly, leading to another narrow miss.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
No answer.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
I won’t be learning his name.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
Quieter than a falling leaf. Mostly invisible.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
And here I am, wearing this ridiculous thing–
3. Having hatched a plan, Syr’Nj starts to tear her skirts off (she has a green, leafy onesie underneath). No need to be gentle with this outfit: she will never wear it again.
4. Syr’Nj charges Slyke, using her skirts like a retarius’ net, and his eyes widen in alarm. He wasn’t expecting this attack and doesn’t even have a knife in his hand– because his third knife has pierced Kur’Ik’s heart, and she is falling to the floor behind Syr’Nj.
PAGE TWENTY-ONE
1. Syr’Nj is using her skirts to pin Slyke to a table, but more crucially, one of her hands is close to his neck.
SLYKE
What– did you just–
2. Slyke looks at his own neck and sees the syringe sticking out of it (Potion of Somnolence, but we don’t need to be able to read the label clearly). He quickly goes numb, losing the ability to form words just before he loses consciousness.
SLYKE
Ow now glab flab blurfle gifliminy blee?
3. Syr’Nj stands and turns. Slyke slumps off the table, no longer partly invisible and clearly no longer a threat. A hint of Kur’Ik’s body is at the edge of the frame.
4. Bird’s eye view of the sprawled Kur’Ik, not long for this world. As if the stab wound and the prodigious amount of blood she’s lost isn’t enough, there are white growths forming in the wound, a sign that the knife has been poisoned with trollblight, a plant disease often fatal to wood elves. The timing was suspect enough, but this poison is just too much circumstantial evidence: this attack came from Gastonia, and probably from a farmer with enough property that he would be able to cultivate his own private set of poisons– from Iwatani.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
Oh, Graiya. The knife was poisoned– blighted.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
Had it only grazed her, her survival odds would be fifty-fifty.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
As it is, it’s time to remember my first lesson on the battlefield…
5. Syr’Nj kneels to look more closely into Kur’Ik’s eyes.
SYR’NJ
Kur’Ik. He’s down.
KUR’IK
‘Kay. Maybe you should go to the bar, ma’am.
KUR’IK
I can clean up here… soon as I rest a minute…
SYR’NJ CAPTION
“Sometimes combat medicine… is only end-of-life care.”
PAGE TWENTY-TWO
1. Worm’s-eye view of Kur’Ik and Syr’Nj, camera close to Kur’Ik’s cheek, as Syr’Nj hides her own pain and tries to make Kur’Ik’s last moment as happy as possible.
SYR’NJ
Kur’Ik.
KUR’IK
Yes, ma’am?
SYR’NJ
I… I expect you to write up a full account of this battle by morning.
2. Same scene, seen from over Syr’Nj’s shoulder. Kur’Ik blushes, a bit of girlish embarrassment mixing with her overall sleepiness.
SYR’NJ
Be sure to mention how brave you were.
KUR’IK
Oh, ma’am… ih’was just instinct…
SYR’NJ
You have such stories in you, Kur’Ik. More than you could ever–
3. Silhouette shot of Syr’Nj kneeling as Kur’Ik has just finished dying.
4. Syr’Nj stands, firmly controlling herself, and spots one of Slyke’s thrown knives over Kur’Ik’s body.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
There are still my teammates to think of. And my nation.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
And even the Gastonian people, victims of their own government.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
I still can’t give in to emotion. Not yet.
5. Syr’Nj’s hand picks up the knife from the tavern floor.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
But I also can’t have an assassin following me or reporting back to his bosses.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
I can’t give in to emotion.
6. Syr’Nj approaches Slyke’s body, her eyes hard and cold. This should be a bit disturbing, even if it is at most a necessary evil. Syr’Nj has killed enemy combatants before this, and this killing is a tactical necessity. But it will be done in rage, a vent for the anguish she’s been feeling for far too long now.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
But I can let it rule me for a moment here.
SYR’NJ CAPTION
Just long enough to do what is necessary.
It’s fascinating reading this little “what if”. Is hard not to wonder if, had things gone that way, Syr would be changed irreparably. A first step into darkness if you will.
Agreed.
Actually, the first step was her behaviour after the story with Bandit and Byron. Hat she not been shocked out of that phase, this would have been the next step…
I’m glad that the scene was changed because that kind of thing would not fit into my view of Syr’Nj’s ethical frame. She could have tied him up, or locked him in the basement, or something like that, but killing him, after that much deliberation? That’d be *very* dark.