Axemas Special 2017
Hey, gang. No comic today, it’s Christmas! We’re fucking tired as shit and making comics is hard! So tired, in fact, we literally told John to do whatever he felt like for this year’s bit (and he did NOT disappoint!)
We also didn’t feel like interrupting the ending with yet another Axemas special that would last a month or so. Not that we haven’t enjoyed them in the past, but it felt like it was unnecessary this year. So just one fun page!
Hope everyone is having a fantastic time, regardless of whether that time revolves around specific traditions!
Scipio-Claus is the gift I didn’t know I wanted.
Hmm, does that make Auraugu the Krampus to his Claus?
“Child was naughty, hyes? So only gift insolent pup shall receive is SUPLEX!”
…A fuzzy suplex…
Merry christmas, from the entire surviving Gastonia cast!
Damn, why you’all have that kind of a greeting with that particular avatar? Now I feel all sad again.
:(
Twas the night before Axemas, and every Gastonian
Was scared and despairing and weeping and moanian.
Our soldiers were hung by the clock in the square
A reminder the savages had just now been there
The children were hiding all under their beds
While visions of zerkerbeasts ran through their heads
My wife in her muu-muu and I “on the pot”
(My bowels incontinent due to all this shock)
When out on the battle there arose such a ruckus
I ran out to see what new evil had struck us
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Pulled glock out and cocked it, muttering “kiss my a$$”
The moon on the breast of a new fallen teen
(A girl – Censors threatened an NC-17)
When what should appear to my bloodshot-strained peepers
But the savage race champions fighting with our peacekeepers!
With a skinny green elf-maid whose voice made me cringe
I knew in a moment it must be our Syr’Nj.
More clearer than crystal she showed her disdain
As she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name,
Now Bandit! Now Byron! Now Gravedust and E-Merl!
Now Sister! Now Scipio! Now Best/WAV and Frigg girl!
To the big purple eyeball just over the wall –
Now smash away, smash away, smash away all!
So up to the crater those maniacs they flew
With blimp-ship, Auraugu, and Goblaurence too.
And then in a twinkling they jumped off the boat
With wood wings and rockets to keep them afloat
Then as I watched Frigg from my limited view
She blew out the eye with a glowyshit “F*** YOU!”
I thought it was over, so I turned around
And Big Ol’ Tectonicus blew up through the ground!
He was dressed all in fire from his head to his foot
And his skin smelled of sulfur, of musk oil and soot.
Some tongs and some spices were slung ‘cross his back
To eat roasted zerk-beast as a mid afternoon snack.
Then my wife had a vision of a pornstache in purple
In a giant glass cylinder; he didn’t look mirthful
And nerds, and snow elves, and cultists and tron-land
And Phil K and T Camp and the twin Waltrip band.
Then I woke up – late. I went straight to my work
Boss asked “how’s it going?”; then I turned towards that jerk
“My fave web comic’s ending!” I growled through my nose.
He shook his head, shrugged, and walked off as I rose.
So Jean-Luc, and Psolo, and Tsapki and MaggPi
And all other posters whose puns made my nerves fry
Let me say one last time before y’all are past my sight
Merry Xmas (Axemas) to all, and y’all have a good life!
this. is. so.much. GOLD!!!! *hyperventilates
*dies
*respawns
and I cried,too!!!
*drowns in tears and so dies again
That was. Simply. Magnificent.
I am in awe, and I don’t awe easily.
Fuck I’m going to miss you crazy kids.
And vice versa!
Wow. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a Gold Star, I thought you’d retired them.
<3
*wipes away tear*
Thank you, biggmac! And a Good Yule to you all!
Truly touched.
Insanity or a Muse or both, I’m not sure I want to know…
:)
Live long and prosper man.
Fantastic. I have not the gift of words to say anything more fitting than that.
Thank you and safe travels. May we meet again, in this webcomic or the next.
sheeit we didnt need a month long axmas spechul with rymes like this. Fuckin made my day after returnin to my puter after a long grueling Christmas trek on icy roads. Merry Christmas to all and to all a gudt nacht.
I thought E’Merl had left the building…
A merry Axemas to all and to all a good night.
I’m really gonna miss this comic -_-
I like the infinity sign under Byron and Syr’Nj. Subtle but adorable.
Sharp eyes. I was hoping someone would notice. ;-)
Merry Christmas Everybody.
I will accept this page as canon on two conditions:
1. The only reason Goblaurence looks so happy is that he’s been given access to Byll’Bb’s secret ‘shroom stash.
2. The only reason Frigg looks so happy is that they’re singing a good old drinking song about anatomy and bodily functions and what rhymes with Saint Nick.
Yous guys crack me up. Yeah Scipio that was the icing on the cake
This is so beautiful. You deserve a friend’s hug and kiss.
I can’t even do punnery, I am so touched by your inclusion of me.
I missed Axemass, and am so angry with myself for it, but I feel better now having read this, how well it describes my sorrow for the coming end. I will miss everything and everyone. I hope you see this necropost, only days late.
(Who suggested the support group? I was falling asleep and can’t remember. It’s a good idea. The puns and hijinks must live on.)
*Sigh*
This was supposed to be a reply to biggmac’s beautiful composition, but the server glitched.