TLA Anno 10
FB: We all try to pay *some* homage to the spirit of generosity– even the most selfish of us make some token effort– but it was always going to be Byron who would pay it best.
Byron and Best are co-creations, and there are parts of each of them that are very “me,” but the parts that are very “Flo” are speaking with the loudest voice throughout the three- (or four-)page sequence that begins here. The personas, and discomfort with personas. The sometimes-irrational crankiness. The courageous emotional vulnerability. The abiding belief in forgiveness.
Those last two are values of Flo’s that I try to emulate, but…I’ve never had much of a separate persona from myself. And while Flo and I have both settled down a bit…she came out as trans, I got married…at the time this story aired, there was no question which of us was the more even-tempered one. So, yeah. This one’s Flo’s jam.
“I hate me. I hate everything about me, so for you to pretend you like me—”
“Man, I am not pretending—”
“No, no, fuck you. You can’t. You can’t like me, and I hate you for saying you do!”
“Bring it in, man.”
“Are you even listening? Stop hugging me, you ass!”
“I hear you loud and clear, brother. Keep talking, I’m listening.”
“You… fucking jerk…”
I feel that, agh.
You know…given what Best just said, it’s actually slightly surprising that he had the politeness and presence of mind to actually say, “Excuse me” before running out of the house instead of just throwing the shirt in Byron’s face and running off.
I guess sometimes it *needs* a breakdown of some sorts before some things can be said.
I can’t imagine a scenario where Best would have volunteered what he’s saying here, without some incident of sorts. I think even the events of the previous day would not have been enough address the whole “Best is an asshole” angle. He would have tried to just shut up about everything and hope people forget eventually, because it’s just so much more comfortable to ignore something than to have straight words and get everyone on the same page.
The art, of course, is knowing when you can push someone and get some honest (if difficult) words out of them, and when that will only lead to more trouble. Byron got lucky in that he didn’t actually try to force a confrontation. I wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t run after Best, as I would have: Let Best compose himself and then we’ll talk … would’ve probably left some simmering resentment/misunderstanding behind that would only get harder to resolve as time goes on…
When people are presented with incontrovertible proof of them being jackasses, they can either react like Best, or they can sink in denial, get defensive, and double down on their negative behavior, just to spite the person confronting them
T: Yeah… between your response to my comment at the beginning of this chapter’s recap, and your latest comment here, that’ll teach me to make assumptions. I’d always figured that the bullk of this chapter came from you, given the, shall we say, more genteel way you come across online. I’ve always liked and admired Flo, make no mistake; I guess I’d just assumed that since she presents herself online more bluntly and with rather more swearing… you get the idea I’m sure.
Flo: Regardless of whether or not you’re reading this — I apologize for not giving credit where credit is due. And thank you for this chapter.