Any comments I could make about Carol’s captions here would be redundant. The subtext is already pretty close to becoming text. But check out the overworked, frazzled employees in panels 1 and 2, more signs of the toll that HR’s leadership (or lack thereof) is taking on the company.

These first two pages were originally one page, and I’ll agree with Phil this time: that was far too packed. Here are some notes I turned in with the first-draft script:

The break room doesn’t have to be glassed-off: it might be a more traditionally walled-off section of the building (though if so, we should have some of the glass partitions visible in panel 3, to make sure we haven’t forgotten about them). This would have the effect of making it feel more like a private space for the employees to air their concerns and would make them seem a little less dumb for not realizing Carol’s watching them. However, I think the reality is that people who work in glass houses (ahem) tend to forget that anyone can see them after a few days. I’m inclined to leave it.

Other last lines for Thomas here:

“She’s already dumped HR’s body down there, after all.”

“She’s reducing overhead by converting it to underhead.”

“That’s where she and HR keep the gnomes.”

“That’s where she and HR keep the Oompa-Loompas.”