Annotated 29-9
From the script: This sequence is something of a bookend to Shanna’s debates with Carol, where she showed how strong she could be. She doesn’t do that here, and if that other sequence was about cutting Carol’s demons out of her gut and spilling them onto the carpet, this is about doing the same for Shanna. Side note: this sequence is dedicated to my cousins once removed [names redacted], whose experiences with their youngest son inspired it directly.
Phil added the bit about “Hogwarts letter.” I forget what was there before, but it was important we made it clear that the issue isn’t just that Judith Cochran likes childish things, it’s that she thinks they’re real. If you pinned her down about it, Shanna might admit that enjoying a Harry Potter movie doesn’t mean you’ll end up like Judith, but because of her experiences, she can’t help but associate the two. What her brain knows, her heart doesn’t always agree with.
The worst part for the loved ones, I think, is the cycle. The person going in and out of these institutions, yielding some hope they’ll get better, and then trampling that hope again and again. Although the self-blame is right up there, too. “If only I’d matured faster. If only I hadn’t made her watch those cartoons with me. I mean, it might’ve gone the same way anyway, but how can I really know that?”
“The worst part for the loved ones, I think, is the cycle. The person going in and out of these institutions, yielding some hope they’ll get better, and then trampling that hope again and again.”
This hits me close to home. Although a drastically different scenario, as Shanna’s mother no control whatsoever, I had an uncle with a severe drug addiction from before even my inception and my dear mother was the slave to the cycle. To the guilt. The crushing impotence.
My soul may be damned for this, but I felt no sadness when I found out he passed away. Just relief.
I don’t think you’re wrong to have felt that way at all. Your concern for your uncle’s issues being outweighed by your concern for their effect on your mother seems pretty normal, TBH.
Hear, hear.
Hardship, even one thrust upon you, might build character and whatnot. But it is by no means a sin to sigh from relief when it is lifted from upon you.
Taking even a measure of joy from the thought that things might now look up for you, and even mayhaps, gods willing, to the one who caused the hardship, is hardly what I could see any otherwordly agent judging harshly.
Dancing on their grave would definitely be too much. Probably… Though there are these couple of gods who like dancing during the funerals…
I’ve been through the same thing with my sister. She was in and out of drug rehab and jail for 25 years. It happened so often that I had to cut myself off emotionally for protection. There’s only so many times you can hear that this time will be different. She’s recovered now but I can’t rebuild that connection.
That stuff isn’t made easier that most relatives or people otherwise close to the affected person don’t really have any idea what drives them, and therefore have a decent chance of making it harder for them by trying to help (Heck, even some drug counselors are only slightly ahead of that curve … ).
That makes for a really nice guilt trip if/when you start thinking that maybe you might have had a part to play in the issue, but ultimately you can’t have known better. In lots of cases, even the person affected didn’t know any better, either.
I have a drug counselor in the family, and it’s crazy how many clients don’t even have a real theory of what the heart of their issue is, and how the efforts of a clients’ family (who understand the issue even less) are often not half helpful or sometimes directly counterproductive because blaming themselves for causing their loved ones trouble or for not meeting their expectations to clean up already can (can! Not always! I’m not a psychologist, just regurgitating some stuff I’ve learned!) reinforce the whole issue.
In other words: It’s not helping to beat oneself up over not being able to help a loved one with debilitating psychological issues (drug-related or otherwise) — you do as well as you know how to, and if that’s not working then going beyond what you think you can take is not likely to make things better.
On a rather timely note, World Mental Health Day was just this last weekend.
Without sounding too tongue-in-cheek about it, the world does not exactly inspire mental health.
Bit of a problem if a single day annually is all the time we think we need to be mindful of it, if I’m being honest.
Sure. But the same could be said about “Green Earth Day.” The point of the day is to try and bring awareness to the problem.
Though to be fair, after 30 more seconds of Googling, it looks like World Mental Health Day is more about going outside and taking a breather. Or taking the day off just to relax. And not so much about mental health issues.
The previous page is where I finally started to like Shanna’s story. And this page was where I really got drawn in, especially the first two panels.
The crazy thing is, I didn’t even realize at first reading that this page explains why Shanna hates fantasy so much. I had just seen the Harry Potter reference and filed it under “okay, so her mom is having very difficult mental health issues”.
I didn’t need an explanation because I know people who have that bias (in slightly reduced form) simply out of ignorance. But I guess the looongwinded discussions in the previous page’s comments sensitized me to the topic :)