It’s WAV! WAV the totally original character! WAV the sensational character find of 2014! WAV of conviction, WAV of light, WAV of the future, oh CRAP you guys figured it out already, didn’t you.

It took exactly EIGHTEEN MINUTES for the readers to start guessing this was somehow Payet Best, and the only thing they did first was note the (fairly obvious) Daft Punk influence. It wasn’t a total surprise to us that they’d figure it out at some point, since they’d theorized other new characters were “Best’s alt” with fairly little evidence (Penk’s a musical warrior too! Or what about Scipio, we’ve never seen him and Best in the same place, and the opposite of always boasting is never saying much… no no, Best left the game and is now JJ Berten! I kid, but the real theories were about as tenuous). And we were making his identity a plays-fair mystery: the Daft Punk look was in keeping with the way Best had cycled through a Bowie phase earlier.

I warned Flo not to get too invested in fooling the readers with this (she thought the earlier theories would provide some cover), and I was perhaps a little smug about it when I was proven right. Or, well, righter than Flo, at least. But even I would’ve figured on the disguise holding up until WAV took out his keytar or at least gave his name. Eighteen minutes, cripes, that’s like someone guessing the rest of the lyrics before you even finish your first chorus.