Guilded Age

I like the implication on this page that Taro has been told to wait outside till the poison gets drunk, probably because his maniacal grin would give the game away.

We knew Persson would die a lot sooner than we settled on the how of it. When Guilded Age was planned to be longer, one idea Flo floated was that the dwarves would attack Gastonian mining colonies and Persson would die in the attack. It would’ve been an “intermediate adventure” for our heroes, coming after the Battle of Beacon’s Hill but before the Cultist attack on two fronts (more or less, as we hadn’t fully fleshed out those story ideas either). Gravedust would’ve had a high point in his Gastonian allegiance due to his horror and disgust at what Iver had done to Savasi culture, but ironically, some of the other Peacemakers would start to get a bit leery of their ties to Gastonia—and in the center of it all would be Persson, an essentially decent man wrestling with what he did and didn’t do that may’ve helped lead to this. And like many of us, he’d die realizing he was out of time to put right any regrets he had. That still strikes me as a workable idea, but we had to start moving things faster for the sake of our own sanity. So only a tiny, boiled-down kernel of that concept remains in Persson’s dialogue on this page.

We also wrote another version of this scene, reproduced below. I think it’s better in a few ways. It’s less immediately predictable, it keeps Iwatani’s hands cleaner, and it shows a lot more of what kind of man Persson is by action, not just by speechifying. However, it might’ve been confusing even with the caption “Earlier”; readers might not have understood that this scene meant Bedard and Iwatani were lying about Persson having miner’s lung and that he was dead when this chapter began. What’s more, I think we felt the need to foreground Iwatani and Taro at this point, given their growing importance to the story’s final act (another reason that Miyamoto’s own plotting got written out).

PAGE TWENTY-THREE
1
2,3
4,5

1. Somewhere on the Solates Mountains, Persson rests on one knee and talks with his similarly kneeling miner followers. Near him is the well-muscled Smithson, a miner who’s looking depressed about something important. The other miners, though, are giving Persson their full, rapt attention. (This slightly recalls the “everybody take a knee” scene between Byron and his adventurers back in Chapter 24.) Birds fly in the background.

CAPTION
Earlier.
PERSSON
Arright, now, boys and gals. Listen up.

2. Head-shot of Persson from below, looking inspirational.

PERSSON
I hear some of ya givin’ Peters and Sioban a hard time, on accounta they usedta be adventurers an’ everybody’s spooked of adventurers after the big berserker fight up north.
PERSSON
Well, that ends now.

3. Persson extends his hand to Peters and Sioban, two miners whose lithe builds and close body language suggest they may indeed have once been part of an adventuring party together. The two look as grateful as you’d expect, given what Persson is doing for them.

PERSSON
One a’ the Heads of Houses usedta be an adventurer, and I’m pretty dang sure she ain’t no cultist.
PERSSON
I known Peters and Sioban for years and I trust ‘em. End of story.

4. We look more closely at more of the miners, with Persson in the corner of the panel. It’s clear his concern for their welfare has captured their attention and loyalty.

PERSSON
Next up, Mine #43 is closed fer now. I’ll sweep it for any gear left behind.
PERSSON
It’s just too dangerous, guys, sorry.
PERSSON
We’ll get that dragonstone, but we’re gonna haveta dig a longer, safer tunnel to do it.

5. Persson stands and some of his fellow miners follow suit, including one who might be sucking up just a little bit as he speaks to Persson. Smithson stays where he is.

PERSSON
Finally, I’m gonna lean on the other Heads to get some more healing potions for you guys.
PERSSON
So if anyone’s especially feelin’ the need, see me after this. Okay?
MINER #1
Good talk, boss. Good talk.

PAGE TWENTY-FOUR
1,2,3,4
5,6
Modified 4×2 grid, with panel 5 the width of panels 1-3.

1. A bit later, in the confines of a cave, Smithson has gotten up behind Persson, who now turns toward him.

SMITHSON
Boss?
PERSSON
Smithson?

2. Smithson looks at Persson and us like a guilty child. What he really wants is Persson to forgive him somehow for what he’s about to do, even though Persson can’t possibly forgive what he doesn’t know about.

PERSSON
Do you need a potion? Gettin’ a touch of miner’s lung, maybe?
SMITHSON
Someone’s… someone’s offered me a job, boss.

3. In this relatively long shot, we establish that Persson and Smithson are alone in this corner of the mine. No one to see or hear them.

SMITHSON
He’s gonna pay me with a farm. Big farm.
SMITHSON
I’d be set for life. Have my pick of women to marry.

4. Persson, now fully turned toward Smithson, gives him a jaunty smile. Easy come, easy go. Smithson was a good second-in-command, but he’ll find another.

PERSSON
I see!
PERSSON
Well, don’t beat yerself up.
PERSSON
It’ll be rough for a bit, runnin’ things without my right-hand man here, but I think we’ll manage.
PERSSON
What’s the job?

5. Smithson leaps at Persson and uses his knife to open up Persson’s neck, removing Persson’s ability to call for help. The wound will kill Persson relatively quickly, although probably not quickly enough to qualify as merciful.

6. The birds continue to soar through the air, passing the opening of a mine shaft, undisturbed by any screams or gurgling they might hear from it. Near it is a small block of wood on which is crudely painted the number 43.