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Annotations Every Day - Written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

We here at Guilded Age do not endorse the act of wrestling toddlers, but wholly endorse Toddler Wrestlers.

Ask An Adventurer – Toddlers, Laddies, and Childs

on February 22, 2014
Chapter: Ask An Adventurer
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Discussion (47) ¬

  1. CorrTerek
    CorrTerek
    February 22, 2014, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Sound advice, this. But less effective when you have more than one child.

    • Bruceski
      Bruceski
      February 22, 2014, 12:41 am | # | Reply

      The crowd would not respond when he wrestled one man, it looked too unfair, so he started wrestling groups. And then they started cheering again.

      • Rowlf
        Rowlf
        February 22, 2014, 2:02 am | # | Reply

        And YOU: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Greenland?

        • Iocane
          Iocane
          February 22, 2014, 9:16 am | # | Reply

          Inconceivable!

          • CorrTerek
            CorrTerek
            February 22, 2014, 9:39 am | # | Reply

            Princess Bride references always make me smile. Bonus points for quoting the book.

    • Rolan7
      Rolan7
      February 22, 2014, 12:56 am | # | Reply

      No worries- siblings will wrestle each other incessantly.

    • James K
      James K
      February 22, 2014, 2:00 am | # | Reply

      After all you use different moves when you’re fighting half a dozen toddlers than when you only … have to worry … about one.

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      February 22, 2014, 2:35 am | # | Reply

      Tear gas?

    • Thomas
      Thomas
      February 22, 2014, 4:10 am | # | Reply

      Dwead Piwate Wobberts:
      – You’re using Bonetti’s defense against me, eh?
      Me:
      – I thought it fitting considering the cluttered nursery floor.

    • MidnightDStroyer
      MidnightDStroyer
      February 26, 2014, 2:12 am | # | Reply

      When you’ve a crowd of rugrats to deal with, create a minefield of Lego blocks…That’ll slow ’em all down…A lot!
      If they were already capable of walking before, they won’t afterward. And if they were still crawling beforehand, they’ll stop crawling afterward.

  2. CapnRis
    CapnRis
    February 22, 2014, 12:16 am | # | Reply

    This was my question, and I’m both shocked and overjoyed it was selected.

    I’m not sure what answer I expected if any, but this will do. I will inform the wife immediately.

    (Now only if I could catch the little halfling!)

    • mrknifey
      mrknifey
      February 23, 2014, 11:32 am | # | Reply

      drugged candy, then rear naked choke to get him to have a sleep;)

    • Speedy
      Speedy
      December 19, 2018, 8:12 pm | # | Reply

      Ex-Lax Chocolate. When they stop running and their face turns red, you’ll know it’s your chance to grab them and pass them off to your wife.

      Just make sure you’re out the door, before she smells what you’re up to.

      [Legal mumbo jumbo… not my fault if you’re dumb enough to take my advice… So on, so forth…]

  3. Acadian Bacon
    Acadian Bacon
    February 22, 2014, 1:38 am | # | Reply

    “We here at Team Four Star do not endorse the act of violence against children, though we DO find it hilarious.” This is what this comic made me think of. c: Well the alt-text anyway! :D

  4. Strongholm
    Strongholm
    February 22, 2014, 2:28 am | # | Reply

    Hyes.

    • Wylf
      Wylf
      February 22, 2014, 8:03 am | # | Reply

      Hyes, hyes indeed.

  5. Hellhound
    Hellhound
    February 22, 2014, 3:10 am | # | Reply

    This..was..Awesome. Arauraugu is the ultimate champion :D
    He even knows how to “handle” Children and Toddlers even thought he (luckyly) has none himself.

    • Guesticus
      Guesticus
      February 22, 2014, 5:30 am | # | Reply

      That he is aware of

    • Psolo Ghoti
      Psolo Ghoti
      February 22, 2014, 6:12 am | # | Reply

      I don’t know, somehow I think if Auraugu decided to settle down and have children, he would be a good father. Though what’s good for gnoll children might not be good for human children.

      • Le Ocelot
        Le Ocelot
        February 22, 2014, 11:46 pm | # | Reply

        “Mooooooom! Daddy threw Aurauglet through the window again!”
        “…Hyes.”

    • Loki
      Loki
      February 24, 2014, 9:55 am | # | Reply

      I thought Auraugu was female?

      Although today’s “no children /that I am aware of/” comment throws that into question. Unless gnoll copulation somehow allows for gnoll women to not know if they’ve produced young or not.

      Or perhaps Auraugu’s biologically male, but identifies otherwise. Or maybe gnoll gender is complicated. Or maybe Auraugu’s gotten laid very recently, and just doesn’t know yet whether there’s a “gnoll-bun in the oven” just yet, so to speak.

      Ergh. I feel like I’m the only one who remembers Auraugu’s comment of “I am not a MAN!”.

      • Masterofbones
        Masterofbones
        February 24, 2014, 12:23 pm | # | Reply

        He isn’t a man. He is a gnoll

      • SotiCoto
        SotiCoto
        April 1, 2016, 9:48 am | # | Reply

        I am also not a man. I am a cat.

  6. Smartestmoronx19
    Smartestmoronx19
    February 22, 2014, 5:53 am | # | Reply

    Can someone tell me what alt text is and how to access it? I’ve been curious about it for awhile now.

    • bwernard
      bwernard
      February 22, 2014, 6:14 am | # | Reply

      Let the mouse arrow hover over the comic image, the alt text will show up.

    • Psolo Ghoti
      Psolo Ghoti
      February 22, 2014, 6:45 am | # | Reply

      More correctly called “title text” or “hover text”, it is text that complements another element (usually an image) on a web page. In the case of Guilded Age, and some other webcomics, the title/hover text is usually a witty caption for the comic.

      On regular web browsers on regular computers, it is usually displayed when hovering the mouse pointer over the element in question (in this case, the comic). As far as I know, this doesn’t work on smartphones or tablets because they have no concept of “hovering”. Someone else might know how to access it on those.

      (Actual alt text, which this isn’t, is text that would function as a substitute or alternative for an image, rather than as a complement, if for some reason the image isn’t, or can’t be, displayed. Although it’s not supposed to be showed in conjunction with the image, some older browsers did this, treating it exactly like title text. Hence the confusion between “alt” and “title”.)

      • Stone Rhino
        Stone Rhino
        February 22, 2014, 8:12 am | # | Reply

        Also, Alt-Text was in place for browsers when we didnt have the ability to view images. You could on the original Netscape or IE, turn off images all together speeding up your connection. Why would someone do this? Because it took an hour to download 2 megs.

      • Mujaki
        Mujaki
        February 22, 2014, 8:27 am | # | Reply

        That’s the main annoyance I have with the browser on my tablet, not being able to easily read the hover text for the multitude of webcomics I follow.

        • pepebe
          pepebe
          February 23, 2014, 7:45 am | # | Reply

          I’m deeply embarrassed that I never thought about that problem. Thanks fro bringing that to my attention. @guildedage Sprinkling some javascript fairydust would solve that problem for (touch-based) mobile browers easily. I’ll gladly help out, send me a mail if you need advice/help.

          • Loki
            Loki
            February 24, 2014, 9:58 am | # | Reply

            Just to be clear, you’re offering your services to The Guilded Creators, yes? Not to Mujaki?

      • smilr
        smilr
        February 22, 2014, 9:29 am | # | Reply

        To be pedantic: the hover-text here is actually contained in the ‘alt’ tag for the comic image, so it would also be shown in place of the comic on text-only browsers or in the event a standard browser cannot load the comic image for some reason.
        What I think Psalo meant was that this isn’t a proper use of alt text, in that it should actually be something directly descriptive like “comic image for feb 22nd” rather than the extra punchline many many webcomics use it for.

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      February 22, 2014, 2:35 pm | # | Reply

      The alt text is pretty underground, you’ve probably never heard of it.

  7. Fibojoly
    Fibojoly
    February 22, 2014, 7:03 am | # | Reply

    Love Auraugu. Never fails to make me laugh :)
    Also, this strip instantly reminded me of this very awesome video. Coincidence or no, well done!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTWfqi3-3qU
    (How to fight babies!)

  8. Torint
    Torint
    February 22, 2014, 8:05 am | # | Reply

    Possible Toddler Wrestler names: El Nino, Enfant Terrible, the Pacifier, the Masked Bawler, Macho Man Wandy Savage.

    • Stone Rhino
      Stone Rhino
      February 22, 2014, 8:14 am | # | Reply

      “Macho Man Wandy Savage”

      More like “Micro Man”

  9. CapnRis
    CapnRis
    February 22, 2014, 9:52 am | # | Reply

    Am I the only one to notice Auraugu’s “ask an adventurerer” sign has every letter backwards? Is that how gnolls write, or is it just another of Auraugu’s lovable quirks?

    • BossMuro
      BossMuro
      February 22, 2014, 1:54 pm | # | Reply

      Auragu has fought in many battles and bested many foes, but his greatest challenge of all…is illiteracy.

      • Radio Silence
        Radio Silence
        February 22, 2014, 10:48 pm | # | Reply

        Still, I’d say from his demonstrated reading comprehension that Clotheslined on Phonics is working for him. Hyes!

    • Riotllama
      Riotllama
      February 25, 2014, 11:13 am | # | Reply

      It says Rererutnev! Can none of you read from Right to Left?!

  10. Runic
    Runic
    February 22, 2014, 3:28 pm | # | Reply

    As an uncle a dozen times over, I can wholly verify that holds and restraining do work wonders with overactive children. Until they start working in teams.

    • Karishi
      Karishi
      February 22, 2014, 4:24 pm | # | Reply

      Yup. Then you think you’ve got one handled, and then you look to your left and right.

      “Clever girl…”

  11. King of Zeroes
    King of Zeroes
    February 22, 2014, 6:19 pm | # | Reply

    This isn’t news to anyone.

    I’ve always solved at least 80% of my problems with a German Suplex.

    Everything I know, I learned from Zangief and Mayor Haggar.

    • Guesticus
      Guesticus
      February 23, 2014, 8:00 am | # | Reply

      Rolling German Suplex is where it truly is, a single German Suplex is for trainees

    • SotiCoto
      SotiCoto
      January 23, 2015, 8:40 am | # | Reply

      Crucifix Power-Bomb.
      For everything.

  12. Bloodvork
    Bloodvork
    February 23, 2014, 4:21 am | # | Reply

    I’m so glad I decided to get out of bed to check this, on the off chance that this weekends AaA might be Auraugu.

    I fucking love you, Auraugu.

  13. TBeckett
    TBeckett
    February 23, 2014, 1:26 pm | # | Reply

    Auraugu would use the gender-neutral ‘they.’ He’s so enlightened.

    • Riotllama
      Riotllama
      February 25, 2014, 11:16 am | # | Reply

      I, too, love Auraugu’s speech patterns.

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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