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Annotations Every Day - Written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

... I'd try that rat.

Ask An Adventurer – What, No Dire Goose?

on December 20, 2014
Chapter: Ask An Adventurer
└ Tags: Bandit, Braggadocio, Byron, Gravedust, Syr'Nj
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Discussion (36) ¬

  1. Garithos
    Garithos
    December 20, 2014, 9:25 am | # | Reply

    First! Yes! I’m special.

    Um, I can’t think of any puns. When Bandit cooks the situation is dire?

    • zero
      zero
      December 20, 2014, 9:42 am | # | Reply

      these puns show up when feast expected

      • jeffepp
        jeffepp
        December 20, 2014, 10:17 am | # | Reply

        That was the roast you could do?

        • TK
          TK
          December 20, 2014, 10:43 am | # | Reply

          Well, for what it’s worth you’re still the apple of my eye, even if your punmanship doesn’t quite meat expectations.

          • Thomas
            Thomas
            December 20, 2014, 11:17 am | # | Reply

            Ye olde bicarbonate of soda – “When there’s dire mouse you take a load-a!”

            • Ganurath
              Ganurath
              December 20, 2014, 3:43 pm | # | Reply

              Do us all a favor entrée to learn the difference between a mouse and a rat.

              • eschmenk
                eschmenk
                December 20, 2014, 4:59 pm | # | Reply

                What the adventurers had really asked for was dire mousse. Actually, they got off lucky, all things considered.

                • biggmac
                  biggmac
                  December 20, 2014, 5:04 pm | # | Reply

                  Rather than pot roast, Bandit’s better at getting everybody half baked by roasting pot (chap. 15, pg 18)

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      December 20, 2014, 8:26 pm | # | Reply

      Not only was the food bad, it gave everyone dire-hea.

      • Tsapki
        Tsapki
        December 21, 2014, 3:16 am | # | Reply

        Just remember, kids, keep the Mouse in Axemouse.

  2. Tyris
    Tyris
    December 20, 2014, 9:46 am | # | Reply

    Dere’s a rat in de kitchen, what amma gonna do,
    Dere’s a rat in de kitchen, what amma gonna do,
    Am gonna cook dat rat, dat’s what am gonna do,
    Am gonna cook dat rat!

    • Tyris
      Tyris
      December 20, 2014, 2:14 pm | # | Reply

      On reflection, that should have read “dire’s a rat in de kitchen.”

  3. TK
    TK
    December 20, 2014, 10:40 am | # | Reply

    Okay, Gravity Falls has destroyed the phrase “Lil’ old me” to my brain.

    I heard Gideon when I read bandit saying that. >.<

  4. Mikhail Komroff
    Mikhail Komroff
    December 20, 2014, 11:11 am | # | Reply

    I love how this is the happiest we’ve ever seen Gravedust. XD

    • Nathanyel
      Nathanyel
      December 21, 2014, 3:58 am | # | Reply

      Is it because Braggadocio’s stuff was so good, or…

      • Insufferable Nerd
        Insufferable Nerd
        December 21, 2014, 10:31 am | # | Reply

        Given his relationship with food (another AAA, but stupid comment thing blocks messages with links), I imagine the quality of his cooking is legendary.

  5. Psolo Ghoti
    Psolo Ghoti
    December 20, 2014, 11:21 am | # | Reply

    When Gravedust stuffs his face full, you know it’s good.

  6. JediaKyrol
    JediaKyrol
    December 20, 2014, 12:11 pm | # | Reply

    wait…doesn’t Braggs cook and eat every monster he kills?

    • Flyingfrog
      Flyingfrog
      December 20, 2014, 12:53 pm | # | Reply

      When your policy is to eat what you kill, then you’re gonna have learn how to be a good cook pretty quickly.

      • CapnRis
        CapnRis
        December 21, 2014, 1:08 am | # | Reply

        Especially when your profession is soldier in a monster-ridden realm.

        A Jingoist with the same policy… well, he’d starve, but you get my point.

      • RougemageNick
        RougemageNick
        December 21, 2014, 9:24 am | # | Reply

        I love how your gravatar matchs your comment

    • Dove
      Dove
      December 20, 2014, 1:29 pm | # | Reply

      Clearly Braggs makes the best Dire Rat Stew. ;)

    • biggmac
      biggmac
      December 20, 2014, 4:38 pm | # | Reply

      Never trust a skinny cook!

  7. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    December 20, 2014, 2:23 pm | # | Reply

    Ah, the old apple with a corpse around it.

    • dralou
      dralou
      December 20, 2014, 3:19 pm | # | Reply

      It keeps the apple moist.

  8. alurker
    alurker
    December 20, 2014, 2:58 pm | # | Reply

    What? No recipe for roast Dire Mouse?

    • Tsapki
      Tsapki
      December 20, 2014, 5:00 pm | # | Reply

      Roast Dire Mouse IS the recipe.

  9. Acrox
    Acrox
    December 20, 2014, 4:40 pm | # | Reply

    Welp, that’s the second time (I think) I see Gravedust smiling. Not the “have a good day, my child” smile, but a “sure all of my kind were slain, soul-erasing corruption is running amok and even myself and my comrades experienced the pain of death but oh boy I pity the dead who no longer can know such joys” smile.

    • David Liao
      David Liao
      December 20, 2014, 6:14 pm | # | Reply

      Gravedust, you killed that steak!

  10. Coridimus
    Coridimus
    December 20, 2014, 6:11 pm | # | Reply

    Reminds me of that old adage: If the chef is fat, the food is good!

    • Phil
      Flo
      December 21, 2014, 3:16 pm | # | Reply

      Explain Guy Fieri.

      • Mars Dawnwright
        Mars Dawnwright
        December 21, 2014, 6:26 pm | # | Reply

        Guy doesn’t count. or did you think guy was worth mentioning?

    • Arbolamante
      Arbolamante
      December 22, 2014, 12:22 am | # | Reply

      Oh, my dorm chef back in the day – he was huge, and terrible. His “Portuguese Fish Stew” was the worst. Fish chunks boiled in water basically. On the other hand, we loved him, because he such an awesome guy. So we joked about his terrible food behind his back, and praised the few things he cooked well to high heaven.

  11. MattStriker
    MattStriker
    December 20, 2014, 8:30 pm | # | Reply

    Considering that other large rodents are well-known for being pretty damn tasty when roasted, I’d give it a try…

    • CapnRis
      CapnRis
      December 21, 2014, 1:10 am | # | Reply

      This assumes that said large rodents are cooked properly, not half-burnt. But hell, I’ll try anything once.

  12. brasca1
    brasca1
    December 21, 2014, 8:20 pm | # | Reply

    Wonder where Frigg was? The others are too polite to tell Bandit what they think of her cooking, but she wouldn’t.

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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