New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
My favorite detail in this whole strip is that the giant robogolems have pointy ears.
What about the fact they appear to be wearing those spandex wrestling suits?
Or that Gravedust is looking all dopey in the bottom panel?
Or that Byron apparently found a penny in the second panel and is going through that excruciating mental exercise designated “Is it worth bending down to pick it up?”
Thunderbolts and lightning very, very frightening me!
Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Figaro!
Magnifico I’m just a shit elf and nobody loves me
He’s just a shit elf from a poor family
Spare us his songs
kill him monstrosities!
Painful come, painful go,
Do not let him go!
Fuuuuuuuuu*k, no! We will not let him go!
Let them glow!
H.R. Will not let him go!
Will not let him go! Never never never never let him go!
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!
Mamma mia kill him now,
H.R. has a golem put aside for hiiiiimmmm!
Lesson number one. NEVER EVER EVER brag about how easy the adventure is going to be.
Oh c’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?
Sir, a Mister Murphy to see you. Shall I send him in?
That’s Mister Murphy, ESQUIRE to you!
I’m too old for this shit. I’m gonna retire after this.
Trust me, I know what I’m doing.
Hold my beer a sec? I gotta take care of something.
Red Mage has a plan!
This plan is 100% FOOL PROOF
But before we go, take a look at this picture of my family while I prepare to explain every detail of our plan.
Once this adventure is over, me and Becky can buy that piece of bottomland we’ve been looking at. We’re gonna have a puppy farm!
There’s no way they can hit us from this range.
Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.
Pshhh! If that were the case ALL of Best’s adventures would end in tragedy (or for some hilarity).
Those golems are way too defensive.
Alt text win.
Little do they know that visiting the gift shop gives the hidden Platinum achievement:
Best. Quest. Ever.
Then again, at least they’re not shouting “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”
or ARE they?
Excess data will be deleted?
Come to think of it, they might be shouting about mutants. . .
heh… I was intending to suggest the translation was, “Our programming is specific and binding, mutant — all who resist us must be destroyed.”
And all that was just the FIRST defensive spell.
“Who of us here is good at languages?”
Heh. One of the rules of the tabletop: AS MANY PCS AS POSSIBLE. The more languages you know, the harder the GM has to work at mucking up your life by finding one that you don’t know. Besides, the look on the GM’s face when you say “Actually, my character knows Ussuran” – because she totally forgot that you bought that? Priceless.
ME to DM during a translation issue: “Oh yeah, my Desert Elf knows Dwarven… What? The Oasis traded with a nearby village >.> She also knows Draconic. …..*glares at the deadpan stare from the DM* She’s a MAGE?! Hello?! >.< Oh and she knows Basic Goblinoid. Why? Because those fuckers steal from EVERYBODY and she's got enough ranks of Ranger to have a favored enemy. You APPROVED these classes, you should know this shit." XD
And Best… you're the Bard. YOU should be the language master ranked even over the Cleric(s). Fail. Just HAD to put all those points in CHA instead of INT, didn't you?
Oh yeah, she also knew Abyssal. Why? Because she focused on Cleric, in a Church that followed the mentality of ‘Know Thy Enemy’. Another approved language the DM forgot.
So many DMs forget that they’re allowed to abuse the rules as well. For example, strictly speaking, it requires a Language check to understand even the person standing next to you speaking your native tongue, and the there isn’t even a guide as to DC. Vengeance!
Yes, we call that ‘a very bad accent’. Write it down, it’s as good an excuse as any other.
I doubt it’s Charisma, more or less Dexterity. :3
In any game I am in, there is a large group effort during character generation to ensure that, between us, the party know every major language in the setting and as many minor ones as possible. In both written and verbal form.
In addition, if there is some talent, stunt, background, or advantage along the lines of “Master Linguist”, giving you more languages than is necessary, SOMEONE MUST TAKE IT.
This has led to characters in modern day settings taking Mandarin, Spanish and Hindi because “by population, right…” In one particular extreme case, one character ended up with seven or so spare language slots, so they could retroactively declare that they knew languages as and when they came up.
“Oh, Northern Martian? Why, I studied that at Oxford.”
“But this is the first time anyone on Earth has even seen an example of Martian tech-”
“Studied. At. Oxford.”
H.R. does not play dice with this universe – it’s more like russian roulette with a gun that casts revive spells occasionally instead of shooting you.
Pretty sure that’s a textbook GM right there.
I swear I wanna punch Best in the face for what he…points out first in the second pannel. He needs a beatdown to get off his high horse.
Agreed. This is why he’s so very universally hated.
Though I will say that it’s so VERY sweet that he was so epicly WRONG.
I’m pretty sure you mean horsebird.
Heh. Nice to see Best’s grand scheme falling apart around him.
They really need Bandit…
I place my bets that this is her specialty. Not to mention her Sense Trap skills.
No, the beatdowns were the problem. He needs to be shown-up by someone with perfect humility.
The party’s life must be flashing before their eyes.
Would that be their whole life, or just their life post-resurrection?
Pre-Resurrection, Season 2 doesn’t have enough episodes for syndication yet.
I maintain that Bandit is Best’s alt.
Speaking of that. Shouldn’t everyone be max level by now? I mean even a WoW addict only plays sixteen hours a day and he manages to have 8 level 85′s. How long have they been hooked up to those machines with only one ‘main’?
I’m not sure it’s been said how long they’ve been in the tubes, or at what age their avatars started at. For all we know, the ‘Bubble’ interface version of KoA had a Fable/Fallout 3 -style childhood progression.
Also, it’s been stated that the world is real to them; ergo, no fast-travel, no eight hour combat grinds, no grinding zones or known quest-givers, worldchat, guides, etc. For them, it’s more ‘Lord of the Rings’ than ‘WoW’.
I guess Byron does have a little will to live left in him after all.
Has Gravedust ever looked this terrified?
I don’t blame them for running. Sentinel is infamously overpowered.
Teehee. Bryon changes from “I want to die because I killed my friends” to “OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITLIGHTNINGBOLTSAHHHHHHHIWANTTOLIVE!!!!!”
I’m pretty sure that’s in the Kübler-Ross Model somewhere. Anyway good to see that he’s coping.
given this is lightning, their aim is terrible
How does one aim lightning? It follows the path of least resistance.
I don’t know, but wouldn’t going through flesh be just about the way of the least resistance? Also using a big-ass metal shield to protect yourself against lightning might not be the best idea.
Looks more like mystic flames than lightning to me. It doesn’t have the jagged crackle of lightning, and there are little licks of flame at the impact points.
I am ashamed to confess that I scanned the trees for Birdserker.
My other reaction was “Hey, it’s an X-Men! Cover!” So…what “X” team would this be? Come on, punsters…
I’m not sure we can: it’s not X-actly punny, afterall.
Well, X-cuse me, dear sir or madam, but it appears you’re wrong on that one.
Though, I X-pected more puns, given how X-traordinary is the potential of that comic. In the same time, trying to write more than two bad puns can prove to be an X-tremely X-cruciating labor.
Also I imagine it’d be hard to get a proper lock through your hands on what is, comparatively, the size of a kitten. On the other hand one of them did nail Frigg’s shield pretty spot on.
I guess it’s understandable that Best would underestimate how powerful magic could be, since shit-elves have none!
See, that sounds like a critical botch on a Lore check to me. I love the way that Gravedust is giving Best the ol’ stinkeye in panel 2.
Why would he think that magic seals and runic traps are less threatening than mechanical locks and traps? Has he never encountered magic?
A mechanical trap shoots a poison dart at you (oh no! Wherever will I find an all purpose antidote in a roleplaying setting?). An arcane trap petrifies you and then launches your statue into the twelfth plane of torment.
Best is not a clever man.
Of course, the trap is -designed- to launch the statue into the creator’s kitchen.
I’m just going to say it.
Best isn’t that bad.
Comedy overreactions aside, he’s selfish and has an ego problem but he’s capable to back it up and he’s pointed in the right direction. He’s also doing at least as well as the rest of our heroes quest-wise, perhaps better.
His attitude is like a foul-tasting outer coating (or perhaps an inner foulness), but so long as you can overlook it the net effect is a hero and that’s of some value.
I second that evaluation. Best may be an insufferable egomaniac, but at least he’s useful, unlike most insufferable egomaniacs.
It’s been a long standing thing that he deserves his massive ego. He really is as skilled as he builds himself up to be, possibly even more skilled than most of the party.
Doesn’t mean he can pick a magical lock or make potions worth a damn, though.
I like Best too but that’s because I tend to like characters who are arrogant assholes or morally dubious egomaniacs. That’s why in almost every book/movie/game that I read/watch/play, my favorite character always is the villain and/or die in the end.
With you there. Only ever watch or read superman because of how awesome Luthor is. He should have his own comic series. He’d totes be the best hero ever. Give Batman a run for his money.
Yeah, some protagonists can pull it off relatively well but they always seem just shy of being a true reckless ego maniac… so dissappointing!
see also Harry Dresden
>Runs an image search
>Sees a stubbly wizard in a trench coat and Indian Jones hat
>starts queuing up the downloads.
Those are goddamned elven sentinels aren’t them? I can even hear their voices. Damn, I can hear the music on my head. Tananam nanam, tananam nanam.
The facial expressions in panel two are awesome. Byron all depressed, Gravedust giving best that “Are you done already?” look, Syr’nj’s exasperated eye roll, and Frigg, who is obviously regretting the fact that she is not a black widow spider.
Ah Payet… a good leader you will NEVER make.
Teehee, guitar chord humour….
Fucking yay, action! MORE OF THIS
We know you guys have had a whooooole lot of plot and exposition recently, so there’s going to be a damn near equal amount of action starting today.
Pff, plot exposition and character building is where it’s at. Obnoxious pseudo intellectuals unite!
Insufferably smug roll-call!
truth brothers! chjaracter development and plot expo build any story!
The next page will Frigg hitting the ankle of one of the golems with her mace. REPEATEDLY.
Golens directly from the Storm Trooper Shooting Academy! Never miss a wall again or your money back!
Reminds me of one of the D&D campaigns I was in, and everything in the tower we were in was trying to kill us.
Including the statues
Elfic looks like fuax french xD
I love “King Kirby” elf-golems!
Nah, they’re simply firing cleansing beams to remove the grime from our intrepid heroes. Wouldn’t want to drag dirt out onto the dearly departed masters’ rug now, would we?
Alas dear Best
You’ve upset the rest
For during your quest
You’ve become unwelcome guests
I dunno about you other musicians, but I find C Major to be the easiest, seeing how e minor has one accidental in the key signature and another that you have to remember to put in for a leading tone, so…
^ THEORY GEEK ^
Ah, but the ease of the key also has a lot to do with the instrument you are playing. E minor is probably a simple key for the axe. It might be the open chord, or something that has very simple fretting.
Actually, looking at the title page for Ch. 4, Best’s axe doesn’t seem to have frets. So, whatever.
Thor is right on here. You’re thinking in scales while Best is thinking in chords. Any good axetar player worth their salt knows that strumming all six strings is way better than plucking one at a time. Especially when your true ulterior motive is picking up chicks rather than making technically skilled music. E minor is the easiest chord to play on an axetar without dropping the lowest string a full step, known as ‘drop-D’ tuning. Anytime someone goes on about how awesome drop-D tuning is, or if you see a song written with drop-D in mind, just imagine that the D is for Dummy.
Ha. I like this explanation. I’m a singer so I don’t tend to think in chords as often (though I’ve had to more lately…theory teachers making me write Mozart sonatas *grumble*). I sing a lot of coloratura rep so I definitely think in scales a LOT.
Hey John, your art is really growing into this comic. Good job.
..Don’t bards get learn languages as a class skill?
uhhh…languages? I’m gonna guess syr’nnj or gravedust.
although, frigg would be the more hilarious choice.
She did go to a convent school.
This strip right here describes every, single, roleplaying game i have ever played!
“Ok so we can only expect minor resistence in there, right?”
“No traps, small amounts of monsters and no nasty suprises”
“Okey, let’s do this!”
(Ten minutes later)
“AAAAUUUGHHHH!!! MAH SPLEEN!!!!”
“OH GOD! NO PLEASE NO-NO-NO-NO-NNNNNOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!”
fantasy version of magrathea, i remove my hat for you, the top hat, not the crappy baseball one
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
*EMAIL — Get a Gravatar
NOTE - You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Philly Comic Con
(Philadelphia, PA 5/30 - 6/2)
(Hartford, CT 7/12 - 7/14)
(Rockville, MD 8/23 - 8/25)