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New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

Translation - 'PLEASE VISIT THE GIFT SHOP. FINAL WARNING: PLEASE VISIT THE GIFT SHOP.'

Chapter 10 – Page 14

on April 27, 2011
Chapter: Chapter 10
└ Tags: Best, Byron, Frigg, Gravedust, Syr'Nj
Comments RSS

Discussion (111) ¬

  1. Karishi
    Karishi
    April 27, 2011, 12:03 am | # | Reply

    My favorite detail in this whole strip is that the giant robogolems have pointy ears.

    • Doop doop
      Doop doop
      April 27, 2011, 4:40 am | # | Reply

      What about the fact they appear to be wearing those spandex wrestling suits?

      Or that Gravedust is looking all dopey in the bottom panel?

      Or that Byron apparently found a penny in the second panel and is going through that excruciating mental exercise designated “Is it worth bending down to pick it up?”

      • Joe
        Joe
        July 26, 2013, 1:55 pm | # | Reply

        If only he’d picked it up, he could’ve used it to deflect the lasers

  2. Caitlin
    Caitlin
    April 27, 2011, 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Thunderbolts and lightning very, very frightening me!

    • Timelost
      Timelost
      April 27, 2011, 1:22 am | # | Reply

      Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Figaro!

    • Pikey
      Pikey
      April 27, 2011, 1:38 am | # | Reply

      Magnifico I’m just a shit elf and nobody loves me
      He’s just a shit elf from a poor family

      • icanhaszombie
        icanhaszombie
        April 27, 2011, 2:13 am | # | Reply

        Spare us his songs
        kill him monstrosities!

        • centuriancode
          centuriancode
          April 27, 2011, 7:29 am | # | Reply

          Painful come, painful go,
          Do not let him go!

          • 1d4caltrop
            1d4caltrop
            April 27, 2011, 7:58 am | # | Reply

            Fuuuuuuuuu*k, no! We will not let him go!

            • Moe Lane
              Moe Lane
              April 27, 2011, 12:19 pm | # | Reply

              Let them glow!

              • Fozz
                Fozz
                April 27, 2011, 2:27 pm | # | Reply

                Arkerra!
                H.R. Will not let him go!

                • Tachyon
                  Tachyon
                  April 28, 2011, 1:22 am | # | Reply

                  Will not let him go! Never never never never let him go!
                  NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!
                  Mamma mia kill him now,
                  H.R. has a golem put aside for hiiiiimmmm!

  3. Jim
    Jim
    April 27, 2011, 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Lesson number one. NEVER EVER EVER brag about how easy the adventure is going to be.

    • Timelost
      Timelost
      April 27, 2011, 1:27 am | # | Reply

      Oh c’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?

      • Slipdance
        Slipdance
        April 27, 2011, 8:08 am | # | Reply

        Sir, a Mister Murphy to see you. Shall I send him in?

        • dcsohl
          dcsohl
          April 27, 2011, 11:44 am | # | Reply

          That’s Mister Murphy, ESQUIRE to you!

          • machiavelli33
            machiavelli33
            April 27, 2011, 3:34 pm | # | Reply

            I’m too old for this shit. I’m gonna retire after this.

            • Hertzyscowicz
              Hertzyscowicz
              April 27, 2011, 3:52 pm | # | Reply

              Trust me, I know what I’m doing.

              • anonymous coward
                anonymous coward
                April 27, 2011, 4:52 pm | # | Reply

                Hold my beer a sec? I gotta take care of something.

                • FoolishOwl
                  FoolishOwl
                  April 27, 2011, 5:11 pm | # | Reply

                  Red Mage has a plan!

                  • Grey Acumen
                    Grey Acumen
                    April 27, 2011, 5:18 pm | # | Reply

                    This plan is 100% FOOL PROOF

                    • EveryZig
                      EveryZig
                      April 27, 2011, 6:34 pm | #

                      But before we go, take a look at this picture of my family while I prepare to explain every detail of our plan.

                    • Dusty668
                      Dusty668
                      April 28, 2011, 12:59 am | #

                      Once this adventure is over, me and Becky can buy that piece of bottomland we’ve been looking at. We’re gonna have a puppy farm!

                    • killfr3nzy
                      killfr3nzy
                      April 28, 2011, 9:26 am | #

                      There’s no way they can hit us from this range.

                    • Thor
                      Thor
                      April 28, 2011, 11:33 am | #

                      Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.

    • G@T0R
      G@T0R
      April 27, 2011, 11:01 am | # | Reply

      Pshhh! If that were the case ALL of Best’s adventures would end in tragedy (or for some hilarity).

  4. alta lemur
    alta lemur
    April 27, 2011, 12:06 am | # | Reply

    Those golems are way too defensive.

  5. Magnor
    Magnor
    April 27, 2011, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Alt text win.

    • killfr3nzy
      killfr3nzy
      April 28, 2011, 9:28 am | # | Reply

      Little do they know that visiting the gift shop gives the hidden Platinum achievement:
      ~BEST’S QUEST~
      Best. Quest. Ever.

  6. Caitlin
    Caitlin
    April 27, 2011, 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Then again, at least they’re not shouting “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

    • Da Amron'ed One
      Da Amron'ed One
      April 27, 2011, 12:14 am | # | Reply

      or ARE they?

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      April 27, 2011, 12:18 am | # | Reply

      Excess data will be deleted?

    • Caitlin
      Caitlin
      April 27, 2011, 12:28 am | # | Reply

      Come to think of it, they might be shouting about mutants. . .

      http://sterofsteel.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/202293-177712-sentinels_super.jpg

      • noisyparker
        noisyparker
        April 27, 2011, 11:12 am | # | Reply

        heh… I was intending to suggest the translation was, “Our programming is specific and binding, mutant — all who resist us must be destroyed.”

  7. Loyal
    Loyal
    April 27, 2011, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    And all that was just the FIRST defensive spell.

  8. Moe Lane
    Moe Lane
    April 27, 2011, 12:12 am | # | Reply

    “Who of us here is good at languages?”

    Heh. One of the rules of the tabletop: AS MANY PCS AS POSSIBLE. The more languages you know, the harder the GM has to work at mucking up your life by finding one that you don’t know. Besides, the look on the GM’s face when you say “Actually, my character knows Ussuran” – because she totally forgot that you bought that? Priceless.

    • Alechsa
      Alechsa
      April 27, 2011, 2:03 am | # | Reply

      ME to DM during a translation issue: “Oh yeah, my Desert Elf knows Dwarven… What? The Oasis traded with a nearby village >.> She also knows Draconic. …..*glares at the deadpan stare from the DM* She’s a MAGE?! Hello?! >.< Oh and she knows Basic Goblinoid. Why? Because those fuckers steal from EVERYBODY and she's got enough ranks of Ranger to have a favored enemy. You APPROVED these classes, you should know this shit." XD

      And Best… you're the Bard. YOU should be the language master ranked even over the Cleric(s). Fail. Just HAD to put all those points in CHA instead of INT, didn't you?

      • Alechsa
        Alechsa
        April 27, 2011, 2:05 am | # | Reply

        Oh yeah, she also knew Abyssal. Why? Because she focused on Cleric, in a Church that followed the mentality of ‘Know Thy Enemy’. Another approved language the DM forgot.

        • centuriancode
          centuriancode
          April 27, 2011, 7:33 am | # | Reply

          So many DMs forget that they’re allowed to abuse the rules as well. For example, strictly speaking, it requires a Language check to understand even the person standing next to you speaking your native tongue, and the there isn’t even a guide as to DC. Vengeance!

          • Fren
            Fren
            April 27, 2011, 7:53 am | # | Reply

            Yes, we call that ‘a very bad accent’. Write it down, it’s as good an excuse as any other.

      • Brandon Richard
        Brandon Richard
        April 27, 2011, 2:37 pm | # | Reply

        I doubt it’s Charisma, more or less Dexterity. :3

    • Zakrael
      Zakrael
      April 27, 2011, 5:21 pm | # | Reply

      In any game I am in, there is a large group effort during character generation to ensure that, between us, the party know every major language in the setting and as many minor ones as possible. In both written and verbal form.

      In addition, if there is some talent, stunt, background, or advantage along the lines of “Master Linguist”, giving you more languages than is necessary, SOMEONE MUST TAKE IT.

      This has led to characters in modern day settings taking Mandarin, Spanish and Hindi because “by population, right…” In one particular extreme case, one character ended up with seven or so spare language slots, so they could retroactively declare that they knew languages as and when they came up.

      “Oh, Northern Martian? Why, I studied that at Oxford.”
      “But this is the first time anyone on Earth has even seen an example of Martian tech-”
      “Studied. At. Oxford.”

    • Tachyon
      Tachyon
      April 28, 2011, 1:34 am | # | Reply

      Tabletop games?

      H.R. does not play dice with this universe – it’s more like russian roulette with a gun that casts revive spells occasionally instead of shooting you.

      • Zakrael
        Zakrael
        April 28, 2011, 4:23 pm | # | Reply

        Pretty sure that’s a textbook GM right there.

  9. Noahkai
    Noahkai
    April 27, 2011, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    I swear I wanna punch Best in the face for what he…points out first in the second pannel. He needs a beatdown to get off his high horse.

    • Abcus
      Abcus
      April 28, 2011, 10:50 am | # | Reply

      Agreed. This is why he’s so very universally hated.

      Though I will say that it’s so VERY sweet that he was so epicly WRONG.

      Cheers,

      Cote

    • Tachyon
      Tachyon
      April 28, 2011, 6:33 pm | # | Reply

      I’m pretty sure you mean horsebird.

  10. Fairportfan
    Fairportfan
    April 27, 2011, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Heh. Nice to see Best’s grand scheme falling apart around him.

    They really need Bandit…

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      April 27, 2011, 12:17 am | # | Reply

      I place my bets that this is her specialty. Not to mention her Sense Trap skills.

    • anonymous coward
      anonymous coward
      April 27, 2011, 4:55 pm | # | Reply

      No, the beatdowns were the problem. He needs to be shown-up by someone with perfect humility.

  11. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    April 27, 2011, 12:32 am | # | Reply

    The party’s life must be flashing before their eyes.

    • Caitlin
      Caitlin
      April 27, 2011, 12:36 am | # | Reply

      Would that be their whole life, or just their life post-resurrection?

      • Timelost
        Timelost
        April 27, 2011, 1:26 am | # | Reply

        Pre-Resurrection, Season 2 doesn’t have enough episodes for syndication yet.

  12. WoS
    WoS
    April 27, 2011, 12:32 am | # | Reply

    I maintain that Bandit is Best’s alt.

    • G@T0R
      G@T0R
      April 27, 2011, 11:09 am | # | Reply

      Speaking of that. Shouldn’t everyone be max level by now? I mean even a WoW addict only plays sixteen hours a day and he manages to have 8 level 85’s. How long have they been hooked up to those machines with only one ‘main’?

      • killfr3nzy
        killfr3nzy
        April 28, 2011, 11:27 pm | # | Reply

        I’m not sure it’s been said how long they’ve been in the tubes, or at what age their avatars started at. For all we know, the ‘Bubble’ interface version of KoA had a Fable/Fallout 3 -style childhood progression.
        Also, it’s been stated that the world is real to them; ergo, no fast-travel, no eight hour combat grinds, no grinding zones or known quest-givers, worldchat, guides, etc. For them, it’s more ‘Lord of the Rings’ than ‘WoW’.

    • SotiCoto
      SotiCoto
      June 26, 2013, 6:30 am | # | Reply

      I maintain that also.

  13. Thor
    Thor
    April 27, 2011, 12:51 am | # | Reply

    I guess Byron does have a little will to live left in him after all.

  14. Lydia
    Lydia
    April 27, 2011, 1:20 am | # | Reply

    Has Gravedust ever looked this terrified?

  15. Locke
    Locke
    April 27, 2011, 1:27 am | # | Reply

    I don’t blame them for running. Sentinel is infamously overpowered.

  16. Doma
    Doma
    April 27, 2011, 3:05 am | # | Reply

    yayyy

  17. Tecani
    Tecani
    April 27, 2011, 3:43 am | # | Reply

    Teehee. Bryon changes from “I want to die because I killed my friends” to “OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITLIGHTNINGBOLTSAHHHHHHHIWANTTOLIVE!!!!!”

    I’m pretty sure that’s in the Kübler-Ross Model somewhere. Anyway good to see that he’s coping.

  18. ahdok
    ahdok
    April 27, 2011, 3:47 am | # | Reply

    given this is lightning, their aim is terrible

    • centuriancode
      centuriancode
      April 27, 2011, 7:34 am | # | Reply

      How does one aim lightning? It follows the path of least resistance.

      • Dopneus
        Dopneus
        April 27, 2011, 11:20 am | # | Reply

        I don’t know, but wouldn’t going through flesh be just about the way of the least resistance? Also using a big-ass metal shield to protect yourself against lightning might not be the best idea.

    • Ishmael
      Ishmael
      April 27, 2011, 3:56 pm | # | Reply

      Looks more like mystic flames than lightning to me. It doesn’t have the jagged crackle of lightning, and there are little licks of flame at the impact points.

    • SotiCoto
      SotiCoto
      June 26, 2013, 6:47 am | # | Reply

      Magical Lightning. The only thing that magic actually makes weaker.

  19. flevine
    flevine
    April 27, 2011, 6:27 am | # | Reply

    I am ashamed to confess that I scanned the trees for Birdserker.

    My other reaction was “Hey, it’s an X-Men! Cover!” So…what “X” team would this be? Come on, punsters…

    • centuriancode
      centuriancode
      April 27, 2011, 8:32 am | # | Reply

      I’m not sure we can: it’s not X-actly punny, afterall.

      • The bawdy rifleman
        The bawdy rifleman
        April 28, 2011, 12:11 pm | # | Reply

        Well, X-cuse me, dear sir or madam, but it appears you’re wrong on that one.
        Though, I X-pected more puns, given how X-traordinary is the potential of that comic. In the same time, trying to write more than two bad puns can prove to be an X-tremely X-cruciating labor.

    • Loyal
      Loyal
      April 27, 2011, 8:41 am | # | Reply

      Also I imagine it’d be hard to get a proper lock through your hands on what is, comparatively, the size of a kitten. On the other hand one of them did nail Frigg’s shield pretty spot on.

  20. Carl-E
    Carl-E
    April 27, 2011, 7:18 am | # | Reply

    I guess it’s understandable that Best would underestimate how powerful magic could be, since shit-elves have none!

  21. Fren
    Fren
    April 27, 2011, 7:58 am | # | Reply

    See, that sounds like a critical botch on a Lore check to me. I love the way that Gravedust is giving Best the ol’ stinkeye in panel 2.

  22. gangler
    gangler
    April 27, 2011, 9:00 am | # | Reply

    Why would he think that magic seals and runic traps are less threatening than mechanical locks and traps? Has he never encountered magic?

    A mechanical trap shoots a poison dart at you (oh no! Wherever will I find an all purpose antidote in a roleplaying setting?). An arcane trap petrifies you and then launches your statue into the twelfth plane of torment.

    Best is not a clever man.

    • Johannason
      Johannason
      April 27, 2011, 9:25 am | # | Reply

      Of course, the trap is -designed- to launch the statue into the creator’s kitchen.

  23. Anonymous
    Anonymous
    April 27, 2011, 10:00 am | # | Reply

    I’m just going to say it.

    Best isn’t that bad.

    Comedy overreactions aside, he’s selfish and has an ego problem but he’s capable to back it up and he’s pointed in the right direction. He’s also doing at least as well as the rest of our heroes quest-wise, perhaps better.

    His attitude is like a foul-tasting outer coating (or perhaps an inner foulness), but so long as you can overlook it the net effect is a hero and that’s of some value.

    • Thracecius
      Thracecius
      April 27, 2011, 12:05 pm | # | Reply

      I second that evaluation. Best may be an insufferable egomaniac, but at least he’s useful, unlike most insufferable egomaniacs.

      • Ishmael
        Ishmael
        April 27, 2011, 3:57 pm | # | Reply

        It’s been a long standing thing that he deserves his massive ego. He really is as skilled as he builds himself up to be, possibly even more skilled than most of the party.

        Doesn’t mean he can pick a magical lock or make potions worth a damn, though.

        • Naare
          Naare
          April 27, 2011, 5:39 pm | # | Reply

          I like Best too but that’s because I tend to like characters who are arrogant assholes or morally dubious egomaniacs. That’s why in almost every book/movie/game that I read/watch/play, my favorite character always is the villain and/or die in the end.

          • gangler
            gangler
            April 27, 2011, 10:30 pm | # | Reply

            With you there. Only ever watch or read superman because of how awesome Luthor is. He should have his own comic series. He’d totes be the best hero ever. Give Batman a run for his money.

          • G@T0R
            G@T0R
            April 28, 2011, 11:14 am | # | Reply

            Yeah, some protagonists can pull it off relatively well but they always seem just shy of being a true reckless ego maniac… so dissappointing!
            see also Harry Dresden

            • gangler
              gangler
              April 28, 2011, 6:45 pm | # | Reply

              >Runs an image search
              >Sees a stubbly wizard in a trench coat and Indian Jones hat
              >starts queuing up the downloads.

  24. Bavette
    Bavette
    April 27, 2011, 10:26 am | # | Reply

    Those are goddamned elven sentinels aren’t them? I can even hear their voices. Damn, I can hear the music on my head. Tananam nanam, tananam nanam.

  25. JarrysKid
    JarrysKid
    April 27, 2011, 10:58 am | # | Reply

    The facial expressions in panel two are awesome. Byron all depressed, Gravedust giving best that “Are you done already?” look, Syr’nj’s exasperated eye roll, and Frigg, who is obviously regretting the fact that she is not a black widow spider.

  26. Brandon Richard
    Brandon Richard
    April 27, 2011, 2:37 pm | # | Reply

    Ah Payet… a good leader you will NEVER make.

  27. Avy
    Avy
    April 27, 2011, 3:13 pm | # | Reply

    Teehee, guitar chord humour….

  28. Oamu
    Oamu
    April 27, 2011, 4:56 pm | # | Reply

    Fucking yay, action! MORE OF THIS

    • Phil
      Phil
      April 27, 2011, 11:48 pm | # | Reply

      We know you guys have had a whooooole lot of plot and exposition recently, so there’s going to be a damn near equal amount of action starting today.

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        April 28, 2011, 1:19 am | # | Reply

        Pff, plot exposition and character building is where it’s at. Obnoxious pseudo intellectuals unite!

        • Timelost
          Timelost
          April 28, 2011, 1:57 am | # | Reply

          Insufferably smug roll-call!

          • Jean-Luc
            Jean-Luc
            April 28, 2011, 2:11 am | # | Reply

            Earth!

            • prof_tatori
              prof_tatori
              April 28, 2011, 2:46 am | # | Reply

              truth brothers! chjaracter development and plot expo build any story!

      • Locke
        Locke
        April 28, 2011, 4:32 pm | # | Reply

        The next page will Frigg hitting the ankle of one of the golems with her mace. REPEATEDLY.

        ACTION!!!1!

  29. Naare
    Naare
    April 27, 2011, 5:47 pm | # | Reply

    Golens directly from the Storm Trooper Shooting Academy! Never miss a wall again or your money back!

  30. Katlamos
    Katlamos
    April 27, 2011, 6:40 pm | # | Reply

    Reminds me of one of the D&D campaigns I was in, and everything in the tower we were in was trying to kill us.

    Including the statues

  31. orgikan
    orgikan
    April 27, 2011, 7:04 pm | # | Reply

    Elfic looks like fuax french xD

    • orgikan
      orgikan
      April 27, 2011, 7:05 pm | # | Reply

      *faux

      ¬¬

  32. Mic-Gold
    Mic-Gold
    April 27, 2011, 7:34 pm | # | Reply

    I love “King Kirby” elf-golems!

  33. Balmar Foghaven
    Balmar Foghaven
    April 27, 2011, 11:17 pm | # | Reply

    Nah, they’re simply firing cleansing beams to remove the grime from our intrepid heroes. Wouldn’t want to drag dirt out onto the dearly departed masters’ rug now, would we?

  34. Seraph
    Seraph
    April 28, 2011, 8:57 am | # | Reply

    Alas dear Best
    You’ve upset the rest
    For during your quest
    You’ve become unwelcome guests

  35. Rachel
    Rachel
    April 28, 2011, 11:32 am | # | Reply

    I dunno about you other musicians, but I find C Major to be the easiest, seeing how e minor has one accidental in the key signature and another that you have to remember to put in for a leading tone, so…

    ^ THEORY GEEK ^

    • Thor
      Thor
      April 28, 2011, 11:47 am | # | Reply

      Ah, but the ease of the key also has a lot to do with the instrument you are playing. E minor is probably a simple key for the axe. It might be the open chord, or something that has very simple fretting.

      Actually, looking at the title page for Ch. 4, Best’s axe doesn’t seem to have frets. So, whatever.

      • Amphiprison
        Amphiprison
        April 28, 2011, 12:50 pm | # | Reply

        Thor is right on here. You’re thinking in scales while Best is thinking in chords. Any good axetar player worth their salt knows that strumming all six strings is way better than plucking one at a time. Especially when your true ulterior motive is picking up chicks rather than making technically skilled music. E minor is the easiest chord to play on an axetar without dropping the lowest string a full step, known as ‘drop-D’ tuning. Anytime someone goes on about how awesome drop-D tuning is, or if you see a song written with drop-D in mind, just imagine that the D is for Dummy.

        • Rachel
          Rachel
          May 26, 2011, 9:30 am | # | Reply

          Ha. I like this explanation. I’m a singer so I don’t tend to think in chords as often (though I’ve had to more lately…theory teachers making me write Mozart sonatas *grumble*). I sing a lot of coloratura rep so I definitely think in scales a LOT.

  36. Shorn
    Shorn
    April 28, 2011, 2:54 pm | # | Reply

    Hey John, your art is really growing into this comic. Good job.

  37. banjo2E
    banjo2E
    April 28, 2011, 9:20 pm | # | Reply

    ..Don’t bards get learn languages as a class skill?

  38. Haley
    Haley
    April 28, 2011, 11:31 pm | # | Reply

    uhhh…languages? I’m gonna guess syr’nnj or gravedust.

    although, frigg would be the more hilarious choice.

  39. dr pepper
    dr pepper
    April 29, 2011, 4:51 pm | # | Reply

    She did go to a convent school.

  40. FreddeX
    FreddeX
    May 18, 2011, 5:11 am | # | Reply

    This strip right here describes every, single, roleplaying game i have ever played!

    “Ok so we can only expect minor resistence in there, right?”
    “Right”
    “No traps, small amounts of monsters and no nasty suprises”
    “Right”
    “Okey, let’s do this!”
    (Ten minutes later)
    “AAAAUUUGHHHH!!! MAH SPLEEN!!!!”
    “OH GOD! NO PLEASE NO-NO-NO-NO-NNNNNOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!”
    ^^

  41. MrShine
    MrShine
    May 2, 2012, 2:39 pm | # | Reply

    fantasy version of magrathea, i remove my hat for you, the top hat, not the crappy baseball one

  42. SotiCoto
    SotiCoto
    February 14, 2014, 3:59 am | # | Reply

    The Waltripping begins again.

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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