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Annotations Every Day - Written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

You can't apply that kind of gravitas to anything else, really. Especially not breakfast cereal: 'Don't you see what they were doing? They were eating Reese's. For BREAKFAST.'

Chapter 14 – Page 7

on December 16, 2011
Chapter: Chapter 14
└ Tags: Bandit, Franzington, Hewie, Keeper Kepfer, Micholuszek, Pyre, Reynolds, The Heads of Houses
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Discussion (52) ¬

  1. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    December 16, 2011, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Nice Gastonian trollface. :P

    • Geigan
      Geigan
      December 16, 2011, 2:29 am | # | Reply

      This duel isn’t finished Picard! 10 paces, draw your sword, and fling.
      -–|-(ಠ_ృ)\ \(°O°)-|–-
      Ready, rapscallion?

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        December 16, 2011, 10:27 pm | # | Reply

        Very well you do-gooder nincompoop, ready thyself for a thorough thrashing.

        -–|-(ಠ_ృ)\ .1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10./(#゚Д゚)-|–-

        • Geigan
          Geigan
          December 17, 2011, 6:30 pm | # | Reply

          EN GARDE……………………………….YAAAAAAAA
          (/ಠ_ృ)\ ……..-|—……….—|-……../(゚Д゚\)
          ……………………︵………..︵…………………….
          (/ಠ_ృ)\ —|-…..*CLANG*…..-|—/(゚Д゚\)
          …….T…………………………………………..T……
          \(ృ‾ಠ/) …………………………………….(\.O.)/
          Well that was silly.

          • Jean-Luc
            Jean-Luc
            December 18, 2011, 8:54 pm | # | Reply

            gg

  2. SteelRaven
    SteelRaven
    December 16, 2011, 12:18 am | # | Reply

    Weapons like say… Flying Machines?

  3. Hawk
    Hawk
    December 16, 2011, 12:19 am | # | Reply

    Alliterative documents are greatly suspicious!!!

    • Abcus
      Abcus
      December 16, 2011, 12:23 am | # | Reply

      Not to Gnomes.

      To a Gnome, advances in alliteration are ALWAYS to be applauded!

      (That’s why no-one asked any questions).

      • centuriancode
        centuriancode
        December 16, 2011, 5:21 am | # | Reply

        It’s unresolved as to why this is the case. Gnome psychologists refer to it as the Wonderously Wierd Word theorem.

        • MoodyDK
          MoodyDK
          December 16, 2011, 7:56 pm | # | Reply

          Huh. I heard it as the Crippling Capitalized Caption Conundrum.

          • centuriancode
            centuriancode
            December 16, 2011, 9:11 pm | # | Reply

            Nah, That’s A Human Condition, Particularly Common Among Commenters.

            • Geigan
              Geigan
              December 17, 2011, 8:12 pm | # | Reply

              Elegant exposition our ever endearing Bandit has expressed.

  4. kagato23
    kagato23
    December 16, 2011, 12:22 am | # | Reply

    Aw man, Gnomes were gonna be in the financially secure till Bandit burned through all the ink.

  5. Dean
    Dean
    December 16, 2011, 12:22 am | # | Reply

    As opposed to non-war weapons. Nerf guns and suchlike.

    • kagato23
      kagato23
      December 16, 2011, 12:29 am | # | Reply

      I think it’s more the difference between weapons and war weapons.

      You can make say, a gun, or you can make lots of guns to sell to a side. or both sides. It’s not your business what one does with a gun!

      But when you say, make a fleet of flying machines, well, that’s more directly for war.

      But I think the problem here, especially if they are indeed selling to both sides, is that this might be a conspiracy not just to profit from war, but to ensure war either A: goes on as long as possible B: There’s always another one coming, or C: Both. “Perpetual Prosperity” and “War” tend to have ugly consequences when used together.

      • ahdok
        ahdok
        December 16, 2011, 1:01 pm | # | Reply

        A fishing harpoon isn’t for war.

        • Korbl
          Korbl
          December 16, 2011, 4:02 pm | # | Reply

          Technically a fishing harpoon isn’t a weapon, either. It’s a tool. It just happens to be great when used like a weapon.

        • Asterai
          Asterai
          December 16, 2011, 5:12 pm | # | Reply

          All weapons are tools; weapons are a subset of tools whose purpose is hurting people.

          I carry a pocketknife. It isn’t a weapon. I use it to open packages and slice my bread.

          • MoodyDK
            MoodyDK
            December 16, 2011, 7:58 pm | # | Reply

            Depends on what you mean as “weapon”. I, raised by Arthas to Scourge the living, am a “weapon”.

            • centuriancode
              centuriancode
              December 16, 2011, 9:15 pm | # | Reply

              True. As has often been stated, almost anything can be used as a weapon. That said, there are particular things that either lend themselves to weaponisation, or are only useful as weapons. Among this category, the most important difference is a question of scale. For example, it’s probably not a great idea to sell handguns to North Korea. It’s a really bad idea to sell nuclear weapons to North Korea. No-one especially cares if you sell teaspoons to North Korea. Technically all may be used as weapons, but only two are dedicated weapons, and only one is capable of large scale havoc.

              • ahdok
                ahdok
                December 17, 2011, 6:19 am | # | Reply

                Actually, there aren’t any weapons that you can’t use for other things. Or at least that you can’t mis-use for other things :)

                • centuriancode
                  centuriancode
                  December 17, 2011, 6:43 pm | # | Reply

                  I take that as a challenge. How about bio weapons?

                  • Geigan
                    Geigan
                    December 17, 2011, 8:01 pm | # | Reply

                    Depends on the bio-weapon. Name a few specific ones.

                    • Kliefje
                      Kliefje
                      December 18, 2011, 5:34 am | #

                      no need for specifics ^^ no-one said anything about setting them off… I bet those things make great paperweights, or, if they are bigger, side tables! you can not easily have too many side tables (because, if you do, you build a new layer of them o.o till it’s tables all the way down… (and on the side))

          • Schlock
            Schlock
            December 16, 2011, 10:15 pm | # | Reply

            Just how small is your bread, or how large is your pocketknife?

            • theNate
              theNate
              December 18, 2011, 7:29 pm | # | Reply

              Why, Pocket sized of course

  6. Hatman
    Hatman
    December 16, 2011, 1:31 am | # | Reply

    They didn’t back up their parchment? They deserve to have their scrolls burned if they didn’t have backups for it.

    • James K
      James K
      December 16, 2011, 4:02 am | # | Reply

      Copy? Copy! Sir there was no copy! Making a copy is like fitting wheels to a tomato: time-consuming and completely unnecessary.

      • centuriancode
        centuriancode
        December 16, 2011, 5:22 am | # | Reply

        Until someone burns your paper, or you want a tomato that harvests itself.

        • norm
          norm
          December 16, 2011, 6:41 pm | # | Reply

          What of a tomato that senses an oncoming crash and ejects itself from the car to save itself from danger?

          “How could you miss?”
          “He moved!”

    • FoolishOwl
      FoolishOwl
      December 16, 2011, 3:26 pm | # | Reply

      Bartleby handled backups. But it didn’t turn out well.

  7. Heheh
    Heheh
    December 16, 2011, 2:22 am | # | Reply

    Weapons for sky-high ambitions? I wonder if bandit is just telling tall tales and really did get a prominent sum for her actions.

  8. Quicksilver
    Quicksilver
    December 16, 2011, 2:40 am | # | Reply

    Presumably they did have backups, and quite possibly, having looked at the document, this is the reason she recognized the horn as being Gnomish in spite of the vast degree of variation in Gnomish inventions.

    • Asterai
      Asterai
      December 16, 2011, 5:21 pm | # | Reply

      Naw. Even greatly varying designs can carry the metaphorical fingerprints of their creators. I’d bet gnomish designs tend towards many small fiddly smooth parts. I’ll bet gnomes like making things of brass more than goblins do, too. And they may be more ready to aim for abstractions and indirect action, as well.

      She was not certain it was gnomish make, but she had a strong feeling about it; material, construction, and even purpose might be enough to convince her of that.

  9. Doop doop
    Doop doop
    December 16, 2011, 3:00 am | # | Reply

    Uh.

    That bearded wizard dude. I can’t tell if he’s a gnome or a dwarf to be totally honest.

    I don’t even know if there IS a difference between gnomes and dwarves in this world.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      December 16, 2011, 12:19 pm | # | Reply

      Gnomes are about a foot shorter and two feet narrower.

      • plaintextman
        plaintextman
        December 16, 2011, 3:52 pm | # | Reply

        And dwarves way a ton more and can step in bear traps without loosing their feet? I guess dwarves are mostly “more tougher” and independent. Which is pretty in check with typical modern high fantasy, no?

  10. Miyaa
    Miyaa
    December 16, 2011, 3:47 am | # | Reply

    I don’t get that joke the alt text was spouting. I really don’t.

    • centuriancode
      centuriancode
      December 16, 2011, 5:22 am | # | Reply

      That’s OK. Don’t let the gravitas get you down.

  11. Doma
    Doma
    December 16, 2011, 4:53 am | # | Reply

    1) You’d think a culture that values the scientific process would have a system in place to archive and store it’s work. Maybe they were fed up with PC LOAD LETTER errors and scrapped the gnomish version of a photocopier.

    2) These must be some serious weapons if Bandit, who bragged about gnomes inventing “like forty flying machines” to the sky elves, felt they needed to be scrapped. Are these the flying machine plans they so proudly displayed before?

    3) If these weapons are truly game-changing, it appears the Gastonian Council had at some point changed it’s position about appearing to advance “too quickly” and provoke aggression. If that’s not the case then these weapons are either easily hidden like a doomsday device, or they’re a quantum leap that removes the need to keep a low profile.

    4) Another possibility is that the Gastonian military is acting independently from the Council. And even more juicy, Bandit might have only recently destroyed those plans under a “Peacekeeping” directive from Ardaic, in an effort to prevent that “Unity Against Gastonia” scenario the Council was so worried about. Would Ardaic order those plans destroyed after he made a presentation on it?

    Treason? Politics? Espionage? Doom? Sexyness? Moustaches?
    Guildception.

  12. KBKarma
    KBKarma
    December 16, 2011, 9:18 am | # | Reply

    Alt-text is incorrect. You CAN apply gravitas to inconsequential stuff

    Example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM4z83QFjIM&t=0018

    Admittedly, a clip from an anime is hardly proof, but the clip amuses me.

    • Freako
      Freako
      December 16, 2011, 10:12 am | # | Reply

      Before I clicked the link, I was CERTAIN it was going to be Light eating a potato chip.

      SO CERTAIN.

    • Ishmael
      Ishmael
      December 16, 2011, 10:14 am | # | Reply

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4v-P5x1Mp00

      This would be a better example.

    • Gillsing
      Gillsing
      December 16, 2011, 4:03 pm | # | Reply

      I want to play too:

      Manacles. For children.

  13. Ishmael
    Ishmael
    December 16, 2011, 10:18 am | # | Reply

    You know, I just can’t seem to take it that Bandit’s telling the whole truth.

    • FoolishOwl
      FoolishOwl
      December 16, 2011, 3:31 pm | # | Reply

      I’m reminded of the strip in Order of the Stick where we find out that Haley Starshine wasn’t just greedy, but was actually collecting money for her father’s ransom.

      • centuriancode
        centuriancode
        December 16, 2011, 9:17 pm | # | Reply

        And then it is promptly revealed that she’s also greedy. The ransom note is more of an excuse than a cause.

  14. Martinel
    Martinel
    December 16, 2011, 12:08 pm | # | Reply

    Hewie, Pyre, and Bandit. Gnomes must take a bit of pride in what they do for a living.

    • Freako
      Freako
      December 16, 2011, 6:28 pm | # | Reply

      I bet the bartender’s named Barty.

      • dr pepper
        dr pepper
        December 16, 2011, 11:22 pm | # | Reply

        No, it’s Suds.

        • Running joke
          Running joke
          December 17, 2011, 7:39 am | # | Reply

          A vast resource for gnomish names!

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY

          Ah! yes, also; hello everyone.

  15. dragon8writers
    dragon8writers
    August 17, 2015, 1:43 am | # | Reply

    Bandit. ;;;;;;; SHE DOES WHAT MUST BE DONE.

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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