New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
This deal is looking worse all the time.
Let’s just hope they don’t alter it further.
Hey, it’s totally fair! He accepted the contract that we drafted unilaterally, under diplomatic pressure that will scarcely be noticeable in the official minutes.
Expanding their country side while their country side is being attacked, that makes allot of sense.
Wait, are they talking about Wood Elf turf? …Oh crap.
I believe they are. This will surely anger Syr, but they don’t think much of her to begin with, so doubt she even figures into their planning.
To their sorrow.
She is going to go all BYRON on their asses. Or maybe they’ll do it together? A Berserker honeymoon in two parts. How frightfully romantic.
We don’t need two psychotic killing whirlwinds of slicey death in this comic. I like that Syr is a rational, thoughtful, scientific, yet deeply spiritual character.
Fiction could use more characters like her.
As a logistical and strategic maneovre, expansion during a time of conflict actually makes a great deal of sense. The more area you have, the more resource you can use, and the more peasants you can draft to form your conscript armies. Additionally, clever expansion can enable you to seize straegically important ground to prevent the enemy from advancing easily.
There is a potential danger if you expand in an unintelligent manner, which is that you’ll end up with the Polish problem – too much border and too few troops, enabling your enemy to break through the line and encircle your divisions. However, it’s not hard to avoid this, as long as you think a little bit first.
One also has to take care not to piss off your other neighbors to the point of inadvertently opening a second front.
According to the history podcasts I’ve listened to, the Polish problem was that most of their land is so flat that an invading army could just march all over it.
After careful consideration and examination of the evidence, I am fairly certain that there is nothing wrong with the speaker or his brat of a son that sixty lashes with a bladed cat-o-nine won’t cure.
Aye, a date with the Captain’s daughter’ll do him just fine!
Basically, the adventurers are going to be put in a position where they must eliminate the Gastonian leadership as evil threats to the entire world.
Thus paving the way for Gastonia’s enemies to conquer the world.
Wait a sec…
Well then the adventurers can work for the unjustly deposed rulers to crush the foul tyrants who have conquered the world.
AH! The circle of adventuring continues!
hey, you know, if it keeps the money flowing…
“Commander Shepard! Quick, you have to help us save the Douchebag Citadel Council from utter destruction!”
Shepard: “… I didn’t hear anything, did you, Joker?”
Hell, I bet Byron even punches out a hot journalist.
Grown men exploring alternatives to getting wood.
“Operation Viagra” is a go, sir!
Great, now that you mentioned Catan all I can hear is “I have wood for sheep.”
But to expand their navy, they’d need to hang on to their sheep. So maybe they’re offering some ores instead?
…I was just about to use that line.
Gnomey, take the damn deal. He has no idea what he just did. Because who’s to say how “damaged” your town was by the ordeal? Was that a five-story house? Or was it six-story house? Why, of COURSE there was a gold-plate water-fountain in the town square!
Take that deal, and use it to hit the sonnabitch where it hurts most, THE POCKETBOOK.
I totally agree. those politicians are greedy scum, so they won’t understand things like loss of life. Money on the other hand… oh yeah. They’ll understand loss of money all too well for their own liking. ;)
Pish, that blank cheque is probably only good for the basic expenses.
I will bet that the aside “in relative portions from each of our houses” mean that the gnomes and elfs will end up providing most the funding, and from their expressions they know it.
So far as I can tell, the “in relative portions from each of our houses” line is stating that House Iwatani isn’t accepting any more responsibility than any of the other houses.
Basically treating this whole situation as a simple failure of protection, rather than the gross and flagrant…whatever the hell it was.
“What do you mean Gnometown never used to have a bridge to the sky elves floating city? Of course it did, right next to the 50 foot statue of a gnome kicking a gastonian in the balls. Oh, that? yeah, It’s a cultureal thing. Relegious.”
I agree. Surely the gnomes can work the loopholes in the contract. Make the humans pay! Literally!
Also, I agree with the sixty lashes for Douchebag and Son. Or possibly just a nice dose of industrial-waste poisoning that renders them both infertile and impotent.
The elf seems to be reconsidering his side of things… I think the Elves and Gnomes are gonna be allying against the non pointy ears soon…
Internet translation of the above strip: “HAI. SORRY MY BOY PWNED UR HOME AND KILLED UR DUDES. HERE’S A COUPON! LOLZ”
You forgot the “U MAD BRO?”
Consequences for that little piece of troll-snot? Yeah right.
Well, he dun goofed.
Right. The major lesson is “don’t get caught”.
If the aristocrats actually came through on those payments it might be considered decent compensation (though not quite enough I suppose). However I suspect “relative portions” will equal an amount that is forever approaching zero without actually getting there, kinda tethering on the threshold of zero.
I’m pretty sure “relative portions” just means that while House Iwatani is technically the first to offer aide, they’re not actually offering any more aide than the other Houses. Even though Iwatani’s son was the one to wreck the place.
I don’t doubt they’ll come through with the money, if for no other reason than because they need Gnometown functional to keep providing gadgets and such. The problem is all the non-monetary damage that’s being swept under the rug. Dead people, lost justice, destroyed culture; that sort of thing.
I assumed relative to mean that each house will pay according to its wealth.
We’ll have to wait and see. Based on the actions of the Council thus far, though…your opinion might be closest to the way things will actually work out :(
What makes me sad is that I do know of people who are like this. Thank God I don’t know any people like this on a personal basis…or I’d be on the lam.
I thought he was making a short joke. Paid relative to the gnomes physical stature.
I agree. Essentially what just happened was Iwatani not accepting any responsibility for the incident. None at all.
Which is also why that kid is so happy. He just stole and piloted a giant deathmachine, got to wreck half of Gometown, and is getting off scot-free. A literal example of the spoiled son of a wealthy man, as well as most children.
And did anyone notice the name? “United Provinces of Gastonia”? I’m sure that couldn’t possibly have anything to do with a real country of similar name and attitude.
You mean the Netherlands? Or any of the other dozens UPs? -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Provinces
Yes. Netherlands. How did you know?
United Provinces are my favorite faction in Empire: Total War.
I normally tune out when fantasy stories veer into political gamesmanship, but this is executed really well. I’m not exactly riveted, but I’m the worst possible audience for this, and I’m still into it. The last couple panels are excellent artistic characterization–two characters, whose emotions can be clearly read on their expressions–difficult for the best artists. Nice work.
the answer is simple. roll a 7 and watch as they beg to give you EVERYTHING.
That kid looks far to happy. His dad probably bought him a new doom-machine built from the ruins of gnometown or something. Heck, the family name even looks like I want!
though it looks like the elf is about to do something wise and elf like. I be anticipating
I think he is about to do something “wise” and “get-the-hell-out-of-this-alliance-like”. Maybe even “incite-rebellion-like”.
That human embodies the worst part of the human’s in GA: using money to dodge justice. Hopefully the team will eventually end up straightening Gastonia out.
The gnome isn’t even drawing his arm back.
He’s just letting that certificate hang there.
I wonder, who’s neck is he imagining in his hand right now?
Thes comentt secton really nids ans “edit1 optiom, ryght??w
Civil war while being invaded is to be avoid at all cost.
That says nothing about what happens after you’ve beaten the invaders.
Look at that lovely piece of paper that you can frame and put on your wall, and point at whenever anyone asks you where the hell all the Gastonian money and labor for reconstruction is.
There are days that I think Kael’thas had a point.
Before or after he decided to doom his entire people because of his addiction? ^^;
I wonder what the Elf is thinking there? Got a bad feeling about Gastonia, Gnomes and Elves now, I must say.
I say hire out the assassin’s guild and put the little bastard out of our misery.
I feel a little better now, honestly. At first I thought they were going to leave him with a “oh, kids, y’know” and nothing else. At least he’s pretending to care a little bit at the end by giving him probably nowhere near enough money to rebuild. I wish he’d stop smiling though.
I didn’t understand the alt text at first, but I found this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Settlers_of_Catan
It’s a very fun game, specially if you ignore the rules and places all terrain face down, then chose a random spot to start. Chaos and desperation, my friend.
That concerned elf was coughing to try and stop the Gnome from saying things two pages back… I wonder why?
I think he wanted to save the gnome from this experience… maybe the sky elves have plans with the gnomes, but only after this conflict, so they are needed right now beside Gastonia for survival… it is just a feeling though.
The gnome’s situation made the elf’s his poker face fall! Now things are serious!!
I believe relations between gnomes and other species are more complicated by the fact that they are short. Humans and other taller creatures simply can’t avoid looking down at the gnomes like they were children: Cute and adorable, but also weak, gullible and inofensive.
The second panel of this page reminded me of that. That politian’s actions and expression can be summed by “Aww, the gnome is upset, poor thing! But that’s ok, here, take this money, go buy some candy and let the adults work, ok?”
I really hope he dies in a very painful way. Maybe than his kid can get proper education.
It’s hard to see a gnome as threatening until said gnome is sawing through your achilles tendon.
Dude, they should’ve gotten Frigg to negotiate the punishment and restitution at the council! She would’ve shown Iwatani who was boss! The White Queen would’ve been begging for more…
I forgot to say:
Elves in fantasy works are normally unbearded. I have never considered any other possibility, save for Cacame, the Elf King of Dwarves, but he’s really more “dwarf” than “elf” and that beard would probably be fake, made from the hair of his enemies.
But Sky elf leader guy? He makes me realize how BADASS elves look with dwarves. From sissies to GODDAMN MONUMENTS TO MASCULINITY.
Goddammit I meant “Beards” not “Dwarves.”
This is why I don’t stay up all night.
In Dwarvish, perhaps the same word is used for beard and dwarf. I’d go look it up, but I’m away from my DF machine at the dreaded place of work.
that gnome is totally gonna bake the noble and his brat into pies and eat them
Or maybe he’ll just take all of that restitution money and use it to build a tunnel to the noble’s quarter and install a really big bomb.
Or make an really big bomb that bakes the noble and his kid into pies!
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