New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
inb4 unbearable puns
It must be ursine.
The puns around here can get pretty grizzly, that’s for sure.
Just grin and bear it and you’ll be fine.
Oh we’ve bearly gotten started. Before you know it you’ll be drowning in our puns all bearings lost. We can’t put it on paws now. It’s too late, save yourself.
I need to get some sleep, so I think I will redire for the night.
I nerver dire of bear-faced punnery.
War paint? Check.
He’s got the Bear necessities.
We are merely exercising our right to bear puns.
that’ll give anyone pause.
Don’t you mean… “paws?” ;)
What, Byron’s going in bare-fisted?
There, I didn’t make an unbearable pun, but I totally was going to.
Guess Byron is going to find out if that li’l cubby is all stuffed with fluff the messy way.
he’ll have to use his bear arms…
also he has his axes on his back
Well it’s a relief that he isn’t going bearback.
you all have such honeyed tounges, but all these puns just stick in my throat.
That is a romantic getaway by Wood Elf standards.
Of course it is!
You go out in the woods with your girlfriend. She slathers you in honey. Then she wants you to wrestle…
By death knight standards too. Only we favor less talking; more killing.
Like normal honey, but dire.
It is commonly known that simply adding the term dire to any existing animal species will produce a larger, sinister variant of that animal”
I am pretty sure that it applies to honey as well, therefore byron’s face is now deadly.
For more info refer to: http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/07/12/episode-575-rats-of-unusual-size/
Wait until you see the War Honey. It’s like dire, but with military training.
Where’s a horrid war-tortoise when you need one?
From Dire Bees, as part of a process involving pollenating Dire Daises and other Dire Flora, I’d imagine.
I’m quite sure the Dire Bear is only called so because it loves Dire Honey.
or the spikes, fangs and glowing red eyes. nah, it’s a typical dire animal. Byron should just be happy there’s no dire cammel
or dire gorrilantula
So long as round two isn’t a Dire Honey Badger …
Hehe, was thinking the same thing.
Also, Gravatar Win
Oh Dwarf Fortress… Introducing us to new and exciting fauna by way of having it kill us…
UNDEAD CARP! *sobs quietly onto his keyboard*
It goes well with dire tea and dire biscuits.
“Hey Boo Boo! lets get us a panic-adventurer!”
Syr’nj’s plan is thrown for a loop when, seconds later, the dire bear screeches to a halt and starts singing about being a little black raincloud.
Silly old bear
Everyone knows that a raincloud never eats honey, no, not a nip.
Don’t worry. She has a spare dire.
I’M SO RUMBLY IN MY TUMBLY
With gravatar, unnecessarily dramatic.
The best thing about these gravatar comments is how little sense they’ll all make months later when someone new is reading the archives.
the sad thing is people have actually done that in real life.
“I’m Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jackass!”
DON’T KILL IT, BYRON
YOU MUST HAVE A BEAR MOUNT
Look, even if he and Syr are taking it slow, I don’t think he’s quite desperate enough to mount a bear.
Marvel at Locke’s Av-Post synergy. Marvel, I say!
Reminds me of the time my wife threw a couple of alligators at us while we were investigating a sewer underneath a Mississippi Marine base (voodoo swamp cultists, you understand). She made the mistake of actually roleplaying out one of the gators, so of course we could no longer kill it; it was just too cute.
So we gave it to the Marines.
The last sentence of that first paragraph was a relief… Maybe I just need sleep, but it never occurred to me that it was a game until then. o.o
Bear with me here a moment. .
Boot of science, meet seat of Learning. Or perhaps that seat of berserker. Whichever, this page is a real honey.
hmm. Poor Bryon. ..
An agent of SHIELD, an New Wave author or a Deranged Winne the Pooh.
All that’s needed now is Christoper Robin, Rocket Raccoon or a good car crash scene.
and me with no name spelling dictionary. Sorry about that Byron
Ah, the sacrifices people do for Science. :-)
I always forget how many puns are in these comments.
Icon is fitting.
Must be nice knowing his love interest is willing to kick him in front of a bear in dire situations.
God, I hope the existence of dire honey implies the existence of dire bees.
Although, now that I think about it, a relatively big bee could still smaller than my chihuahuas.
It only really needs to be about as long as your finger to induce AUGH RUN BEEEEEEEEES
Don’t think of them in the singular, but in the plural. They are hive insects after all.
You are welcome, Snuggly Bear.
Aw, man! The honey is all in his beard. That’s going to be a NIGHTMARE getting that shit out!
I bet the nice little teddy charges Byron, knocks him on the ground… and proceeds to lick his face clean. Aawww
…and then it eats his face.
Unleash your inner Lumberjack, Byron! Wrassle that Dire Bear!
Oh well… Byron can look on the bright side of it.
Danger makes for great sex… if you can get past the ‘not being killed’ part.
I would like to see more about the wood elf culture. They seem to be an interesting folk.
And that bear looks wicked. Of course it’s made to be wrestled with by adventurers, with that looks the poor creature couldn’t be anything else but an encounter.
I agree. I adore the art on the bear, most especially.
As for Byron…well…
Perhaps he’ll bear down on his problems. I hope that the beast doesn’t just cub him over the head and maul him. But Byron won’t have time to paws and think anything over, and that’s the aim of the experiment. However, once he wrestles with his issues, perhaps he’ll get some even better honey.
Last but not least, my thought for the day on “dire”…
Dire boars. Do they produce dire bacon? Dire barbecue? Dire fatback?
Or am I just a dire ham?
The dire ham is busy over at http://www.egscomics.com, actually.
I’ll take some of those!
only you can prevent forest fires….
Next up, Byron fights a honey badger.
Oh my gaaaawd, the honey badger! <3
That is one of the most badass bears ever rendered. Number two, I think behind Bill Sienkiewicz’ “Demon Bear from his run on New Mutants.
Seriously, nice bear. I hope this fight goes for a couple pages.
Love the bear. :D Too bad it’s either him or the whal…err or Byron.
Born on a mountain top in Gastonee,
Greediest race in the land of the free.
Raised in the woods so’s he knew every tree,
Killed him a bear when he was only three.
Byron, Byron the Berserker! King of the Wild Frontier.
This is wonderful.
Syr’nj sent out Byron! Byron used Rage! Syr’nj used threw a pokeball! The Dire Bear was caught!
Syr’nj. Even if you sing ‘good luck’ like that, I’m not sure I’d forgive it.
And thus, upon that day, the grove of Ur-animals was cleansed by fire and rage. Not a bipedal horror or a treeceratops was spared.
You think you’re bad, dire bear? Honey ‘zerker don’t care. Honey ‘zerker don’t give a shit how bad you are.
Syr’nj is the best girlfriend.
She has so much tough love to give!
So the little spiny thing on the tree is the groot, and the ballard is the treeceratops? (I ask because Groot from Marvel Comics is a tree alien, and I thought it might be a homage to name the tree monster after him.)
Remind me never to get her mad… and to not let her coat any part of my body with anything remotely called “war paint”!
A berzerker doused in nectar. What’s it called?
“Nut in honey”
Byron failed stealth and initiative check, and rolled oats instead.
You know what I’ve always wondered? Why Dire Animals always have spikes and horns the normal ones lack. In the Real World™, animals with spikes and horns tend to be the hunted, usually a defense mechanism against predators.
So if these nastier, meaner, all around bigger versions of what are often predators have horns and spikes, just what is, literally, eating them?
because they evolved to point out the universe hates other animals, and are designed to hurt things lots by moving around/incite madness with their non-sensical design
and dragons. dragons prey on stuff :p
Obviously, the answer is dinosaurs…
Defeating a dire-honey-obsessed dire bear is easy. Simply put a pot of dire honey in a dire rabbit’s home, and wait for the dire bear to get his fat ass stuck in the dire rabbit hole trying to get to the stuff.
All these comments made me SOOOOOOO HAPPPPPPPPY! Thank you all, beary, beary, beary much.
No, seriously though, the comments today made me smile and smile. =^.^=
*Singing* Look for the, bear necessities, the simple bear necessities, forget about your worries and your strife…
I’m surprised nobody pointed out the similarities between Byron and the bear. Pretty strong / tough, but docile and peaceful until something triggers them.
That…is an excellent observation.
So how much hate would Best have gotten if he done this?^^
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