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New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

Not sure if want.

Chapter 16 – Page 20

on May 14, 2012
Chapter: Chapter 16
└ Tags: Byron, E-Merl, Frigg, Rachel, Scipio
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Discussion (66) ¬

  1. Moe Lane
    Moe Lane
    May 14, 2012, 12:12 am | # | Reply

    “As far as ‘How To Talk To Girls,’ you can start by not even asking that.”

    Ain’t that the truth; took me years to figure that out. ‘Course, pretty much as soon as I did I settled down with one.

    • SotiCoto
      SotiCoto
      June 27, 2013, 8:23 am | # | Reply

      Took me a while to figure out too… and only then was I finally able to appreciate my own company… exclusively.

    • Belisarius
      Belisarius
      October 29, 2015, 3:43 pm | # | Reply

      Ye… My problem is how to talk to humans

      • SotiCoto
        SotiCoto
        March 31, 2016, 4:40 am | # | Reply

        Cats are so much easier to deal with.

        • Belisarious
          Belisarious
          March 31, 2016, 5:11 am | # | Reply

          No, they just walk away as soon as they got their food

  2. bwernard
    bwernard
    May 14, 2012, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Ah, female friendship.

  3. Strongholm
    Strongholm
    May 14, 2012, 12:22 am | # | Reply

    Scipio: Sage with a Sword

    • Ubuntu4Ever
      Ubuntu4Ever
      February 3, 2014, 9:58 am | # | Reply

      And a massive blunt.

  4. Ishmael
    Ishmael
    May 14, 2012, 12:23 am | # | Reply

    …Is Scip sharpening the Sword of Omens?

    • coldelectrons
      coldelectrons
      May 14, 2012, 2:06 am | # | Reply

      The sparks never reach him: they’re too afraid.

      • Hertzyscowicz
        Hertzyscowicz
        May 14, 2012, 5:33 am | # | Reply

        Handy for keeping your cigar lit, I suppose.

  5. Pink Freud
    Pink Freud
    May 14, 2012, 12:24 am | # | Reply

    Ok I’m liking Rachael more and more as time goes on.

    If all nuns talked like that I might convert to catholicism.

    • Syncline
      Syncline
      May 14, 2012, 11:31 am | # | Reply

      I am so very happy right now. Rachael- the nun that takes ZERO shit.

      • Tsapki
        Tsapki
        May 14, 2012, 7:25 pm | # | Reply

        Well recall she was originally part of the Sisterhood of the Bloodshot Eye, as was Frigg, though in a less willing capacity. Not one from that order was known for taking shit.

  6. alicemacher
    alicemacher
    May 14, 2012, 12:26 am | # | Reply

    I am so tempted to ship Scipio and the recently-introduced Marie from T’s QUILTBAG. Of course, there’s the whole “different universes, different basic rules of reality” thing…

    • Randonimity
      Randonimity
      May 14, 2012, 3:55 am | # | Reply

      Pfft, such trivial matters has never stopped shipper before! I say go for it!

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 14, 2012, 5:51 am | # | Reply

      Since Guilded Age already takes place in a multiverse of sorts it wouldn’t really be too hard to write any crossovers. Somebody makes a gateway in their lab, E-merl reads a tome wrong and accidentally gives somebody from the QUILTBAG universe their own avatar, Dedalus gets R&D working on a method of marketing his game to other universes and Marie signs up as a beta tester.

      Heck, Best got sent to yet a third universe. You could concoct a scenario where QUILTBAG is that universe and Best enlists Marie into his attempt to get home by reopening the vortex. It’s not that outlandish.

      • Rowen Morland
        Rowen Morland
        May 14, 2012, 9:52 am | # | Reply

        Pish, you know that Best is going to take down The Hand single handedly in Faanverse.

      • vitupera
        vitupera
        May 15, 2012, 9:56 am | # | Reply

        Now I’m always going to read Scipio as being played by Marie, at least unless/until we get enough of Marie’s actual personality to rule it out completely.

  7. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    May 14, 2012, 12:32 am | # | Reply

    So the advice is to pretty much Scip out on the conversation?

    • anonymous coward
      anonymous coward
      May 14, 2012, 6:50 pm | # | Reply

      I don’t know if that would be a good idea. For starters it would be an over-Rach if he were to just stop talking entirely. Learning how to listen better would be a good idea though.

  8. SaltyKracka
    SaltyKracka
    May 14, 2012, 12:43 am | # | Reply

    Wait. Was that a sentence?!

    My god.

    • Hardcover
      Hardcover
      May 14, 2012, 1:41 am | # | Reply

      I know! He… he used grammar!

      • Syncline
        Syncline
        May 14, 2012, 11:40 am | # | Reply

        And a complete, entire PARAGRAPH.
        When Byron gets close enough to see who E-merl’s talking to and puts his jaw back on, he may request a dual exorcism from the fighting sisterhood.

    • zomg
      zomg
      May 14, 2012, 9:57 am | # | Reply

      Makes me think this is secretly a very important topic to Scipio.

  9. Andreas
    Andreas
    May 14, 2012, 1:17 am | # | Reply

    Assumptions will make an ass outta u.
    e-Merl seems to be stuck with this thought that all nuns are of the no-fly zone.
    He could just, you know, ask her what her vows were.
    If the actual vows, as she interprets them, turn out to be in conflict with his aspirations, they can talk about that.

    Beats beating about the bush, doesn’t it?

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      May 14, 2012, 1:38 am | # | Reply

      That’s what he’s trying to figure out if he’s allowed to do…

      • MidnightDStroyer
        MidnightDStroyer
        February 13, 2017, 3:49 pm | # | Reply

        No, E-Merl doesn’t want to beat *around* the bush…He wants to dive right into it! That’s the whole point!
        O.o

    • JarrysKid
      JarrysKid
      May 14, 2012, 11:08 am | # | Reply

      Right, how does he know that she hasn’t taken a vow of oral sex. or suchlike? Was Gigundis Appolonian or Bacchanalian?

      • Andreas
        Andreas
        May 15, 2012, 3:11 am | # | Reply

        And if they are worshipping Frigg… things could get Astartic.
        Anyway, I think they’re over the Gigundis dude, since he was exposed as a fraud and subjected to deconstruction, with extreme prejudice ;D
        They seem to be in the “WTH phase”, where their factual knowledge of the fallacy an non-phallicy of their deity (he was dickless golem, after all), is in dire conflict with their direct experience of divine power.
        So, all this “belief in the all engenders belief in the self – and vice versa” stuff (hopelessly lost on Frigg, stoned or not) was actually the kind of epiphanous “problem analysis” that stoners do. Right before they go “Dude, I can see through my fingers!”.

        I am guessing Rach and her fellow nuns had some reason to form their imprompty sisterhood, after all, they had this mystery to solve, and probably hoped to gain greater insight into the power of whatever-it-is-that-powers-faith-when-even-a-false-god-does-not-interrupt-it.

  10. coldelectrons
    coldelectrons
    May 14, 2012, 1:56 am | # | Reply

    Has anyone seen Gravedust? I fear he may be embroiled into that Katamari Phallus-y rolling towards the guys.

  11. centuriancode
    centuriancode
    May 14, 2012, 2:32 am | # | Reply

    Well, I guess know we don’t have to imagine the advice he’d get from Scipio.

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      May 15, 2012, 3:20 am | # | Reply

      This is the player age parameter; E-merl is probably 15 tops, while Scipio might be 35 or even older… Doesn’t talk much, is in it for the flow.

      • Andreas
        Andreas
        May 15, 2012, 3:27 am | # | Reply

        And Rachel might be in her twenties, so the whole thing is entirely different from what it looks, including the why of the non-clicking.

        • maggPi
          maggPi
          May 15, 2012, 11:55 am | # | Reply

          Huh. That would totally explain the fond look Rachel gave E-Merl in the market square when they were distributing food with Gravedust; she can tell he likes her, she thinks it’s sweet, but will neither encourage nor discourage the harmless crush. Let it run its course… young love can be fickle, after all. He’ll find someone closer in age soon enough.

  12. Locke
    Locke
    May 14, 2012, 3:28 am | # | Reply

    Some people wear gloves and goggles when sharpening weapons, as to avoid the hot bits of metal and sparks burning their eyes and skin. Scipio not only abstains from both, he also sits really, really close to the grindstone.

    Scipio. A man who possesses a sword, a shield and a cigar, but zero fucks.

    • SaltyKracka
      SaltyKracka
      May 14, 2012, 3:45 am | # | Reply

      Gold Star

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      May 14, 2012, 7:36 am | # | Reply

      It’s how he lights the cigar.

    • Kiriain
      Kiriain
      May 14, 2012, 9:01 am | # | Reply

      May I introduce you to the honeybadger?

      • thatguy
        thatguy
        June 2, 2013, 12:29 pm | # | Reply

        The honey badger is not a man. It is a machine, a machine of imminent demise.

  13. Randonimity
    Randonimity
    May 14, 2012, 3:54 am | # | Reply

    Rachel and Frigg can dirty talk to me anyday! *w* I mean trash talk, yeah, totally meant trash talk. /not fooling anyone

    • Banana Bomber Mk VIII
      Banana Bomber Mk VIII
      May 14, 2012, 2:46 pm | # | Reply

      Hey, Randonimity, who’s the girl in your avatar, please ?

      • Randonimity
        Randonimity
        May 16, 2012, 4:14 am | # | Reply

        She’s an OC of mine 83

  14. alta lemur
    alta lemur
    May 14, 2012, 7:02 am | # | Reply

    I have full confidence E-Merl will eventually Bang in a conversation with Rachel.

  15. umm
    umm
    May 14, 2012, 7:23 am | # | Reply

    Byron has blood on his hand. From desk work, presumably.

    • Syncline
      Syncline
      May 14, 2012, 11:35 am | # | Reply

      That book was shipped by Cultist-Ex

      • Andreas
        Andreas
        May 15, 2012, 3:21 am | # | Reply

        That’s the difference between berserkers and paladins, paladins stop to clean off the gore after the dust settles. Berserkers – they’re like Jack Russel Terriers… on speed!

  16. Frigg Fanboi
    Frigg Fanboi
    May 14, 2012, 7:54 am | # | Reply

    I kept expecting the end of his cigar to start glowing red from all those sparks lol. Also, damn, I’d give a +1 to Rachel over Frigg for the trash talk too lol.

  17. TexasUberAlles
    TexasUberAlles
    May 14, 2012, 8:08 am | # | Reply

    Hey, it’s like the way Big Macintosh only ever says “Yyyup” or “Nnnope”, until that one episode where he goes on a rant about what the Crusaders are doing wrong and why it’s a bad idea.

    …That’s right, I went there. AND I SAW SOME OF YOU %&#*ERS STANDIN’ THERE ALREADY.

    • Animaniac
      Animaniac
      May 15, 2012, 1:57 am | # | Reply

      Hmm.. and Big Mac’s coloring is similar to Scip’s…

      Alternate reality versions of each other?

    • coldelectrons
      coldelectrons
      May 15, 2012, 7:52 pm | # | Reply

      Is there an Internet Rule for ponies, akin to 34 or 63?

  18. Obakeinu
    Obakeinu
    May 14, 2012, 9:25 am | # | Reply

    Rachel’s retort… O.o

    That bespeaks an interesting past… before her vows.

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      May 15, 2012, 3:25 am | # | Reply

      She must have done something to end up in the order… they’re mostly misfits and thugs, after all.
      On the other hand, she is a bright person, and a diligent student of her chosen subject, which is Frigg. You can actually track her progression towards potty-mouthedness through the comic. Can I say “potty-mouth” or is that too vanilla for this forum?

      • maggPi
        maggPi
        May 15, 2012, 12:01 pm | # | Reply

        Eeyurrrgghhh…. I got in trouble recently for calling someone a potty mouth. It was supposed to be a joke…. The whole thing went completely awry. I will never use that term again. …the shame! the burning shame!

  19. Hawk
    Hawk
    May 14, 2012, 10:27 am | # | Reply

    I have officially joined the Scipio Fan Club, with this.

    I’m so stealing that line about not needing to say much, for my D&D game…hell I might steal Scipio.

    Oh, but two of my game group also read GA. They’d catch on…damn.

    ./ponder

    • Tsapki
      Tsapki
      May 14, 2012, 7:33 pm | # | Reply

      Just change a few things. Maybe give him a different vice than cigars, different weapon, change the gender, etc. Works well enough. My friend based this terrifying ghost encounter on the Grudge and it was looking back it was fun and memorable as hell…partly because two of the party members got trapped in hell, but semantics.

      • MidnightDStroyer
        MidnightDStroyer
        February 13, 2017, 3:54 pm | # | Reply

        What’ll really throw them off is if you change the gender, keep the cigar…

  20. JarrysKid
    JarrysKid
    May 14, 2012, 11:12 am | # | Reply

    Jeez, when chicks get together, it’s just nothing but girl-talk.

    • Lennier
      Lennier
      May 15, 2012, 2:48 pm | # | Reply

      Sex, sex, sex.
      The women at work are worse than blokes.

      • MidnightDStroyer
        MidnightDStroyer
        February 13, 2017, 3:55 pm | # | Reply

        The only ones who say that women are the weaker sex are guys that don’t know any better…
        ;)

  21. Snowblind
    Snowblind
    May 14, 2012, 12:28 pm | # | Reply

    My kingdom for a kiddie pool full of jello!

    • Banana Bomber Mk VIII
      Banana Bomber Mk VIII
      May 14, 2012, 2:48 pm | # | Reply

      +1

  22. Oz
    Oz
    May 14, 2012, 4:21 pm | # | Reply

    And women say men don’t have heart to heart conversations…

    • Accursed91
      Accursed91
      May 9, 2014, 3:48 am | # | Reply

      Trust me bro, be sober at any party where people get drunk and you will witness many heart to heart conversations.

  23. Timelost
    Timelost
    May 14, 2012, 5:55 pm | # | Reply

    That’s a very inefficient way to light a cigar.

  24. Jonathan
    Jonathan
    July 11, 2014, 10:09 pm | # | Reply

    Paldin and clerics Laying curses on each other 4 letter curses…

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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