New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
So, nice place to visit and all…
Epic Rap Battles of Gastonia: Syr’inj vs. Ardaic! Quick, somebody set this up!
Now why did I inject that extra “i” into Syr’Nj’s name?
Choke! Choke! Choke!
Don’t Gastonian mess with the Syr’Nj
Lady’s sharp – pierce ya like a syringe!
look, if you had one prisoner, one avian
to hang for everything her allies did, one denumont
would you torture it?
or let it slip away, yo?
I’d break out the Sanders family recipe book and reach for those secret herbs and spices. Dibs on the wishbone!
I call drumstick
Hilarious alt text is hilarious :D
Ardaic I am tired of your racist unrelience.
Now step back, I’ll defeat you with some science!
Your inept argument makes me want to laugh.
Now step down or I’ll smother you in handlebar moustache!
You know, as mean as it is, the reality is that we would probably back ardaic on this one.
Speak for yourself.
People don’t want lynchings, mobs do.
Mobs aren’t even people.
Mobs are also mostly irrelevant. They’re that vocal microscopic minority with too much time on their hands.
hey, you get .1% of the population together in one place you’ve got a hell of a mob right there. You’ve got a good start for a 3 day riot even.
Wait, so Ardaic is really a complex metaphor for powerful and prejudiced governments disrespecting civil rights! He’s a metaphor, neither human… nor person.
So, we should execute Ardaic as a gift to the people?
MC NEEDLES VS. DJ GLAREY STACHE
LETS GET IT ON!!
<- Serious shit is about to go down.
Your avatar makes your comment that much cooler.
I like Syr more and more with every page she shows up in.
This is the part where they wonder if they’re on the right side.
There are no right sides in war. Just those that lose slightly less.
Syr’nj – voice of reason dropped into a place and time where none should exist. This war is the best train wreck ever.
I can see it now.
“Equality? Empathy? Strategic Policy? Not in that place.
*Syrnj pulls goggles down*
Logical? Where we are going, there is no logic…”
man, i want to see twiggy’s face once she realized Ardaic will be right in the end. when the horde rape, pillage, and burn her hometown, how much longer can she keep her peaceful outlook? A Bloodlust filled Syr’ny could be awesome and scary at the same time.
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve seen in all the internets. No offense.
I wanna see Ardaics face when the Five unravel the conspiracy and prove that Harky and Gastonia were planning the whole thing for political gain. Then shove a couple of axes up his wazoo…
i don’t think the 5 can unravel it completely, they maybe able to prevent some of it. that alone could set things up for some more intresting events later. i mean, the Dev team just dumped this event into their world. it’ll be rather hard to advoid it.
I want to see everyone’s face when the April Fool’s patch kicks in and everyone’s suddenly bleeding rainbows, puppies, and presents.
ah yes, since saying “no offense” gives you free reign to say horribly offensive stuff.
No offense is what I write where I’ve caught myself writing something horribly offensive, and chosen to take the high road. No offense.
More like the easy and politically correct road..
No offence ;p
I’m sure she will feel most humbled when that savage air support tears into her homeland howling “Vengeange for Yalaria”.
Humbled? She’ll be all “Called it!”
Just because Ardaic may be ‘correct’
doesn’t mean he’s ‘right’
Don’t confuse the two.
From a logical/political perspective… he may be doing the correct thing.
From an emotional/moral perspective… he is probably not doing the right thing.
In Fact, I would say if you replaced the Avian with an Arab,
the Elf with an African, and the Dwarf with a Mexican,
you would see exactly how wrong he is.
Racial Prejudice is just wrong, both morally, and and logically.
Interestingly, in this world it really is racism.
Africans, Mexicans, and Arabs are all the same race: human.
So your analogy falls flat.
“Human” is a species (well, historically, a genus). Africans and arabs are different species frome each other.
Er, different races frome each other.
No offence, but if anything those races you mentioned are generally a LOT more racist against caucasians nowadays then the way around!
It’s forbidden to say anything remotely bad to a afro american as a caucasian, but the way around they can use racial slurs all they want, which in fact they do a lot..
People are people, and because of the stereotype that only “white” people can be racist, and these other races could get away with everything, it has only gone the other way around :/
That’s probably because those races have a long history of being treated like shit by a vast group of caucasians. Not to mention, how hurt can a white person be if they’re called a cracker or a honky? When it comes to words anyway.
spic and nigger are just words too, why should they hurt people? how about rag head? that just sounds kinda silly. unless you are an arab. then im sure its pretty offensive.
Nielspeterdejong was making a valid point. at the risk of being labeled racists myself… i recently saw a picture, of 4… maybe it was 5, black people, who brutally murdered a white couple. id heard nothing about this. but the hispanic dude who shot a teenager in florida? all over th news. why? except the fact taht he wasnt charged. which is a miscarriage of justice. but while that is pointed out, it is called a ‘racially charged’ miscarriage of justice.
its not just caucasians that are racists. thats all Nielspeterdejong was trying to say. and you Dove, come back attempting to trivialize the words used as insults towards caucasians.
+1 to Claire and Nielspeterdejong. As a white native African I feel strongly about how “white people” here often get treated like shit because of the past actions of some people who happened to be white.
It’s about Power.
The ones with the Power don’t get bitchin’ rights… is that so hard to understand?
But locally speaking, plaintextman would have bitchin’ rights, since the white man is no longer the default power in Africa, which I’m sure we can all agree is a good thing.
A good thing?
Now it’s the way around, and the blacks are suddenly the most racist ones, even while at the same time still making claims about the “evil and racist white men”..
But I guess that’s perfeclty alright isn’t it? After all, it’s perfectly alright for black people to be racist nowadays. Nope, nothing wrong with that at all :/
Past actions that are still affecting the nation today. Ever wonder what Africa might be like if Europeans had observed the Prime Directive?
It would be a tribal-based continent constantly torn apart by tribal conflcits, often genocidal in nature, rife with crimes against humanity and rampant, greed, corruption and most of the other bad things people do to each other. They just wouldnt have quite as many guns to do it with, is all. At least, not so quickly.
Africa had millenia of time before the 15th century Europeans showed up.
The old colonial empires ended after WW 2. Billions of ~dollars~ of foreign aid have gone to the continennt from many sources.
Your right Tspaki, they never had a chance.
War, huh? What is it good for?
distracting the populace from the poor policies of their government?
Killing your enemies and laying waste to their territory?
Giving thousands of bored mercenaries something to do?
Giving Hideo Kojima a plot device with which to beat dead horses ad nauseum?
Providing good paying jobs to thousands of gnomes?
a chance for the return of best?
Providing a good way to boost your economy?
Freeing enslaved populations?
Inspiration for video games?
Culling the more aggressive from the peasantry?
Overthrowing corrupt government? And instituting another one right in its place?
Apparently, a lot of things.
perfect avatar for that line :D
In the last panel, if I squint in just the right way, it looks like his furrowed brows are a nose and his eyebrows are mustaches.
“Say what you will about how crappy real-live people have behaved, But how dare you comment on the how that crappy behavior reflects on us as an abstract whole!
Yup. Nationalism at it’s best.
yo mamma’s so ugly, looking at her does a d10 of damage.
No saving throw.
yo momma’s so old, she’s green and pixelated.
Yo mama’s a Creeper?
“…amnesty to you and your dwarven friend, despite the sentiments of the citizenry. And you wish to paint us as a bigoted nation.”
Well, yeah. :|
i wonder, that somehow, not too far in the past Gastonia was attacked and brutalized by man other races. it would explain their present out look right now.
TVTropes: Humans are Dicks. Not goign to post the link because I don’t want any mroe deaths on my conscience today.
no worries good sir, i have survived TVTropes and have become partly immune to it’s deadly effects.
Syr’nj. Uh. I hate to break it to you. But the bird girl isn’t human and probably would object to even being called human.
Should’ve just stuck to ‘person’.
Sorry, but the guy does have a point. As much as you see the bad sides from Gastonia, the other races would have done no different. What humans do is pretty much what any sentient animal lifeform would do. The only difference is is that humans rethink things later on, hence why we have so many people now against Gastonia here on the comments. But sadly they seem to forget that this is a different time and a different place, and in this time it’s either eat or be eaten. Liberal people like them would have been killed/raped/beaten up the moment they set foot there :/
Brian needs to know about this.
FFFF everyone who says the avian’s death is needed, she would be good for a trade, or a meet.
The 5 need to go through the fall of the wood elves, because if they live; they will “level up” and grow then…When boss man cometh….we will see.
Honestly, I’d say Syr ISN’T right, here. Bird lady isn’t some poor discriminated innocent… Bird lady was part of an attack on Gastonia. Bird lady… Is a terrorist. Push button buzz word, I know, but it’s true. We can be appalled by her treatment, sure… I mean, people objected to gitmo. I objected to gitmo. But… She doesn’t deserve to just get set free.
And what about the Iwatani boy hmm? Stole a giant weapon, caused mass destruction, death and mayhem.
“These are a boy’s antics”
I don’t see the Iwatani boy as a valid counterargument considering how obvious it was that his lack of punishment was specifically portrayed as (and I think we can nearly all of us agree was )a travesty of justice and a deeply humanocentric and profit-based decision.
Yalaria attacked humans – in Ardaic’s mind, a monster attacked people. The boy attacked gnomes – not really fully people to Ardaic, and therefore ultimately not important. Not to mention the dodging he’s doing by saying it’s “the will of the people”.
That’s not to say I don’t see the pieces of validity in Ardaic’s argument… but I, personally, agree more with Syr’nj’s approach.
Perhaps she could be used as a bargaining chip to “buy” avian loyalty…however, if all the avian races are as…flighty as Yalaria, Gastonia may not be able to trust the avians even to stay neutral. Politically, she’s useless if they don’t have more than a single POW to bargain with. And just setting her free really is a bit too naive; if that’s what Syr was saying, “Just set her free as a gesture of good will” – yeah, that’s unlikely to work.
However, Ardaic’s “execution as a gift to the people” is a bunch of bullshit. In this case, it’s a bloody spectacle, designed to keep the people’s attention on “vengeance” and off of the actual war.
Gastonia doesn’t appear to be concerned about Harky’s advance. There’s no screams to the PCs of “help win the war!” Instead there are demands to, apparently, suppress the bad publicity.
Yalaria – much as I pity her for empathic/ethical reasons – is purely misdirection. She’s a sideshow to keep the cattle from noticing how many of them are dying for their government’s war. It’s a fairly standard tactic for any government in a time of war. I think they call it ‘maintaining morale.’
Hawk, one of the more reasonable analyses I’ve seen here.
Don’t think we can infer much about avian characters from one traumatized terrorist. Gondolessa, Harky’s avian lietenant, seemed much, much calmer. That’s two avians we’ve seen, I’d want a larger sample size before inferring much.
Thank you for writing down what I was thinking in a logical readable way. xD
This kind of reminds me of those propaganda posters you’d see in WW2. Make sure your ‘side’ knows the other side is absolutely evil, no matter what, so they keep on fighting.
Releasing a prisoner is a poor bargaining chip, and carries with it a connotation of guilt, nearly admitting that ‘We deserved that.’ However accurate the statement may be, it places undue strain on potential future peace talks by giving the other side a clear onus to push for more
In this, it could well be detrimental to the peace process if both sides can be brought to the table. While a war is active, neither side can be faulted for acting like a war is on, but if one side openly admits misgivings, it will both embolden the other and damage its own efforts.
Sorry, Syr’nj, but you’re letting your emotions get the better of you, here.
i can add to that, the horde as i would call them, appears to have no intrest at all in peace talks. All appearences would point out that they will stop at nothing short of complete obliteration of Gastinoa nation and the total genocide of humanity and those races that side with them.
there are lines that when crossed, you can not go back from. we have left peace talks long ago Syr’nj. All those cities and villages that have been burned and towns folk put to the sword or in chains will demand revenge.
This world is in total war. there can only be peace once one side is dead.
Let me break it down for you, wood elf.
I represent Gastonia,
Giving you amnesty,
So don’t be getting an idea,
About all of humanity,
Gnomes with their machinea,
Serving our destiny,
So show some respect to me,
Or soon you’ll be a deportee.
Bandit give me a beat.
One race above all,
Crushing all but humanity,
Others hoping you fall,
Your cause fueld by bigotry,
Holding others in thrall,
Here I must stand tall,
For the weak and small.
That voice of yours you best reign in,
We’re at war with the world,
That includes your precious avian,
You guild has places in plans unfurled,
But those could be all tossed in a bin,
As I stand here with my fists curled,
I wonder with your opinion so twirled,
If elves has a place in our new world?
B to the E to the R SER KER
Everyone’s nightmare is about to occur
Y’all stand there expecting naught from me
But I’ve got the edges that bring victory
My burden, my curse, my unstoppable power
Is about to cover alla y’all in a crimson shower
My anger-fueled rhymes are tempered by my skill
My thoughts fade away to kill, kill, KILL
I can’t help myself, my mind is a prisoner
The violent voices speak, and I am but a listener
I feel control assuming every fiber of my being
It’s time for you to pick if you’ll be fighting or be fleeing
Ain’t slackin’ with the hackin’, quickest on the draw
Eviscerating discipline, sundering the law
Hear the bloody roar from my foam-flecked maw:
I’m Byron the Berserker – HUUUUAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGH!!!!!!
Looks like Best wasn’t the only musician in a tube.
How do I share a comment thread on Facebook???
Eh I’ll just share the whole page. They’ll thank me later.
Hey Ardaic, keep your bigoted thoughts on the shelf
‘Cause Gastonia’s character speaks for itself
Don’t matter what you say ’bout who you serve
I can see it’s “humans first”, so you got come nerve
Coming down out of town to hide the rumors you found
About war that’s coming to threaten the crown
I can help you if you just stop being a jerk
So sit down, shut up and let your Science Elf work!
The most macabre question being, of course: When you behead an avian, how long does their body run around for?
I’m shocked that I didn’t think of that. You are welcome to have my previous Gold Star.
Afterwards, do you think they might have a barbeque serving up “long chicken”?
i would say 3 minets minimual, 6 on avarage, on the safe side, give it 10 and hold the body upside down to help drain the blood out. there will be much feathers to pluck befor you can gut it and prep it.
now the big question, leave the skin on or off?
Well, it depends on whether or not you’re trying to be healthy. Honestly, though, the skin’s the best part. No foolin’.
leaving the skin on does give it much better taste. it’ll be messier granted, but if your working as hard the gang here does, cooking the bird with the skin should be advised.
now here is the other question, spit roast, BBQ, oven bake, or deep fry this sucker?
If the skin is staying on, you’ve simply GOT to do marinade injection and then oven bake.
You are all horrible people.
…but EXCELLENT cooks.
Paula Deen has got nothing on us.
There is always Door #3: Lock her up for the duration of the war.
But in this case the Gastonian military tribunal… Is winging it.
Yep. Only questions now are how long before our heroes decide they have to overthrow the corrupt and racist Gastonian regime – or join the other side – and, whether the cadre will be split because of it.
This is a really inappropriate time for this, but …
Syr has the same cheekbones as Benedict Cumberbatch.
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