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Annotations Every Day - Written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

'Bert the Bipedal' was taken, I guess.

Chapter 23 – Page 12

on May 17, 2013
Chapter: Chapter 23
└ Tags: Bert, Braggadocio, Colonnus, Rendar
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Discussion (74) ¬

  1. Sybarite
    Sybarite
    May 17, 2013, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Bert the Blonde? Burt the Bunny? Bert the Beerier! That would make him an important part of Fightopia!

    • SotiCoto
      SotiCoto
      June 28, 2013, 10:34 am | # | Reply

      Bert the Buddy of Braggadocio.

  2. Sybarite
    Sybarite
    May 17, 2013, 12:11 am | # | Reply

    Something is deeply wrong with the world when no one has posted before me… Ya’ll are slackin’…

    • Saskyou
      Saskyou
      May 17, 2013, 1:30 pm | # | Reply

      You’re doing it wrong, you should have said “FIRST! HAHAHA! FIIIIRST! YOU LOSE! FIIIIRST FIRST FIIIIIRST!”

      • Sybarite
        Sybarite
        May 17, 2013, 11:15 pm | # | Reply

        Hey, I got my point across! Something is terribly wrong when I could have actually called “first” and annoyed the heck outta everyone!

  3. MathMage
    MathMage
    May 17, 2013, 12:50 am | # | Reply

    It’s important to have a procedure for naming the crippled in Fightopia, as they make up a significant fraction of the population.

    • Thrift shopper llama priest
      Thrift shopper llama priest
      May 17, 2013, 8:57 am | # | Reply

      Aren’t they all supposed to have names before being fightopians ?

      • JarrysKid
        JarrysKid
        May 18, 2013, 12:09 pm | # | Reply

        “Welcome to Fightopia! Please report to our official nickname bestower, Albert the Alliterative.”

  4. ralanr
    ralanr
    May 17, 2013, 12:53 am | # | Reply

    At last fighters shall get the respect they deserve!

  5. jokerlope
    jokerlope
    May 17, 2013, 1:06 am | # | Reply

    I get the feeling that FIGHTOPIA is going to be able to fight well above its weight class if the mysterious blueprints are anything to go by.

  6. Acrox
    Acrox
    May 17, 2013, 2:01 am | # | Reply

    Dibs on those engineer goggles.

  7. Carl-E
    Carl-E
    May 17, 2013, 3:06 am | # | Reply

    Are those crutches also hoes?

    There must be a pun in there somewhere… something other than “Retirement’s not so bad with a couple of hoes”.

    • █████
      █████
      May 17, 2013, 6:40 am | # | Reply

      “Instead of bringing him down, these hoes are keeping the man up.”?

      • centuriancode
        centuriancode
        May 17, 2013, 6:46 am | # | Reply

        Laying down the hay? Trimming the neighbour’s grass? Ploughing the field?

        • Dualgunner
          Dualgunner
          May 17, 2013, 3:51 pm | # | Reply

          This guy’s got the American dream. He has his own land, several good friends…and a hoe in each arm.

        • Zombie_Spacer
          Zombie_Spacer
          May 18, 2013, 12:04 am | # | Reply

          Hehe… Ploughing the field… with hoes…

          • coldelectrons
            coldelectrons
            May 18, 2013, 7:43 pm | # | Reply

            Limpin’ like a pimp.

            • centuriancode
              centuriancode
              May 19, 2013, 2:34 am | # | Reply

              Pimps could have a real problem with too much limp around.

    • randomdude
      randomdude
      May 17, 2013, 11:31 am | # | Reply

      Hey mister, stop leaning on those hoes! (leaning on, in a 50’s gangster sense? Nevermind, I’ll go back to my corner.)

    • Speedy
      Speedy
      December 10, 2018, 3:30 pm | # | Reply

      His financial situation must be pretty unstable, if he’s got a couple of hoes supporting him.

      I think his decision-making needs to be called into question, since the first thing he did was to pimp out his crutches.

  8. TheFool
    TheFool
    May 17, 2013, 3:30 am | # | Reply

    So… Bert goes from farming with crutches in Gastonia to farming with crutches in Fightopia? There’s a metaphor on revolutions in there somewhere.

    • Messenger
      Messenger
      May 17, 2013, 6:31 am | # | Reply

      But at least he’s doing it to support his rights as a disabled adventurer!

      • Thrift shopper llama priest
        Thrift shopper llama priest
        May 17, 2013, 8:59 am | # | Reply

        Disabled adventurer ? Bert is disabled soldier.

      • Chris
        Chris
        May 17, 2013, 9:32 am | # | Reply

        Was it really his choice? Brag carried him AWAY from the land given to him as a soldier. So now he is plowing who’s land now?

        Bert the complacent follower.

        • Guesticus
          Guesticus
          May 17, 2013, 1:12 pm | # | Reply

          How about “Bert the Don’t-Eat-Me!” or “Bert the Put-Me-Down-Now?”

    • centuriancode
      centuriancode
      May 17, 2013, 6:47 am | # | Reply

      Heck, any mathematician could’ve told you that a full revolution gets you back where you started.

      • randomdude
        randomdude
        May 17, 2013, 11:32 am | # | Reply

        Bazinga.

        • Phil
          Flo
          May 17, 2013, 12:18 pm | # | Reply

          You get that shit out of my comments section.

          • Aeon
            Aeon
            May 17, 2013, 3:10 pm | # | Reply

            Bazinga!

            • Dualgunner
              Dualgunner
              May 17, 2013, 3:58 pm | # | Reply

              Ballsy.

              • Aeon
                Aeon
                May 17, 2013, 9:36 pm | # | Reply

                Shabingazam.

      • coldelectrons
        coldelectrons
        May 18, 2013, 7:59 pm | # | Reply

        Not yet! Full circle for Bert would be for him to have a daughter that likes to fool around with adventurers.

    • Ishmael
      Ishmael
      May 17, 2013, 8:16 am | # | Reply

      Well, you can probably swing a hoe like that more easily than a scythe.

      Besides, he’s probably not working that alone like he was the farm.

    • dr pepper
      dr pepper
      May 20, 2013, 3:26 am | # | Reply

      Meet the new boss
      Same as the old boss

    • Speedy
      Speedy
      December 10, 2018, 3:45 pm | # | Reply

      “The kale here is just as revolting as the kale in Gastonia!”

      “Ugh! That’s because you’re supposed to be practicing crop rotation, not crop revolution!”

  9. Catbus
    Catbus
    May 17, 2013, 7:30 am | # | Reply

    “The first fighter-governed government in the world” seems to overlook the history of, you know, all of feudalism.

    • Dualgunner
      Dualgunner
      May 17, 2013, 12:22 pm | # | Reply

      Assuming this world even had the age of feudalism like we did. :P

      • SteelRaven
        SteelRaven
        May 17, 2013, 7:02 pm | # | Reply

        This IS their age of feudalism.

        • Dualgunner
          Dualgunner
          May 17, 2013, 8:20 pm | # | Reply

          Ah, that makes sense!

    • Bob
      Bob
      May 18, 2013, 2:52 am | # | Reply

      Very true. The ruling class was frequently the fighting class as well. Congratz, you’re a noble. You get the cream of the crop… but if there’s a war your butt is on the line first.

      • randomdude
        randomdude
        May 18, 2013, 10:50 am | # | Reply

        Well, your butt is on the line right behind all those ploughmen you gave swords to and sent charging at enemy lines.

        • The_Rippy_One
          The_Rippy_One
          May 18, 2013, 11:20 pm | # | Reply

          To heck with that.

          We’re fielding Yeoman archers and Scotsman! And some roman Engi’s, what got stuck o’er here when that east empire a’theirs collapsed! Let the ploughboys to the ploughin’, let the fighters to the fighten’! For pete’s sake, we’ll let Bloody Harry have at the lot of you, won’t need more than him. Crazier than two stallions on a mare, that one.

  10. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    May 17, 2013, 8:21 am | # | Reply

    How about Bert the Bastard Sword?

    • Fren
      Fren
      May 17, 2013, 9:09 am | # | Reply

      Well, it has a better ring to it than ‘Bert the Beggar’. Good chance he’d have been stuck with that one back in Gastonia.

    • centuriancode
      centuriancode
      May 17, 2013, 9:24 am | # | Reply

      Foot-and-a-half sword, huh? That one’s not necessarily a problem.

  11. Dualgunner
    Dualgunner
    May 17, 2013, 11:23 am | # | Reply

    From a distance, the flag looks like “F!”
    Freakazoid Country?

    • Guesticus
      Guesticus
      May 17, 2013, 1:23 pm | # | Reply

      It is an ‘F!’, with a bear in the shape of the ‘f’ and the bears poop as the dot in the exclamation

      • Dualgunner
        Dualgunner
        May 17, 2013, 3:59 pm | # | Reply

        Ohhhh derp! I get it now. xD Thanks!

  12. Prof Tatori
    Prof Tatori
    May 17, 2013, 12:19 pm | # | Reply

    for once, i am actually rooting against the guild, i like this new nation

    • zomg
      zomg
      May 17, 2013, 1:01 pm | # | Reply

      The Gastonians are crooked as hell. As soon as our hero(in)es realize this they’ll be on the Road to Fightopia.
      And I’m not apologizing for the Todd Rundgren earworm You all deserve it.

      • The_Rippy_One
        The_Rippy_One
        May 18, 2013, 1:33 am | # | Reply

        Where for is this earworm that has escaped my attention?

        • zomg
          zomg
          May 20, 2013, 3:52 pm | # | Reply

          Right here, rippy: http://youtu.be/eJO2W-_MpOE

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        May 19, 2013, 8:29 am | # | Reply

        The Peacekeepers are completely aware of Gastonia’s problems, having come up against them on multiple occasions. However, that doesn’t mean they will be unable to see Fightopia’s – just on this page, we see the same deep seated racism that exists in Gastonia, and a rather hilarious hypocrisy (‘How dare they give you a farm to work! Here, work this farm for us, instead of that one for yourself. Much better!’).

        Also calling it ‘fighter-governed’, rather than ‘adventurer-governed’ is worrying. That doesn’t sound like an attitude that would lead to equality for people like Bert, who is unable to fight any more, or Syr’nj, whose primary role is support and healing, rather than getting in there are killing things.

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      May 17, 2013, 1:28 pm | # | Reply

      inb4 inevitable corruption and socio-economical problems

      • Dualgunner
        Dualgunner
        May 17, 2013, 3:59 pm | # | Reply

        As long as Bert has hoes like that, the economy ain’t never failing.

    • Veggieburrito
      Veggieburrito
      May 20, 2013, 9:54 am | # | Reply

      I am kinda hoping that the guild teams up with these guys, but that seems unlikely.

  13. Loki
    Loki
    May 17, 2013, 1:31 pm | # | Reply

    Psh, dirty Avians. What do they count for, anyway.

    On a lighter note – have yall seen the first music video from space? What do yall think about it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo

    • JarrysKid
      JarrysKid
      May 18, 2013, 12:07 pm | # | Reply

      Saw it. Awesome.

  14. Randonimity
    Randonimity
    May 17, 2013, 3:38 pm | # | Reply

    I’m sure someone’s already expressed the sentiment, but Guilded Age is incredible in terms of character diversity. Not just with the main cast but the backgrounders too! I’m kinda excited to see what sort of double-X-chromasomers we see popping up in Fightopia 8D (th-there are women-folk in Fightopia, yes? And they all joined of their own free-will, yes? OnO)

    • Seggs
      Seggs
      May 17, 2013, 7:11 pm | # | Reply

      well, there are children in panel 3.

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        May 17, 2013, 9:20 pm | # | Reply

        Oglaf would argue that that doesn’t necessarily mean there are women.

        Blood and thunder! Victory at sea!

        • Sybarite
          Sybarite
          May 17, 2013, 11:18 pm | # | Reply

          No, not the pink bow of shame… :(

      • Randonimity
        Randonimity
        May 20, 2013, 9:11 am | # | Reply

        Considering Fightopia has only been established for half a year, I don’t think any of them were born there and are more likely to have been brought by their parents. So far, I don’t see any on-screen women but I’m hopeful and have faith in the writers and artist OwO

  15. Doyle
    Doyle
    May 17, 2013, 8:14 pm | # | Reply

    Based on my (admitedly mediocre) knowledge of Dwarf Fortress, Bert will master crutch walking, be able to move as fast as a man with the use of his legs, and be able to push people to death with his crutches EASILY. If anything, he is on the road to being a bigger badass than he has ever been before!

  16. Karishi
    Karishi
    May 17, 2013, 11:49 pm | # | Reply

    Someone tell Harry Potter! Bert has two, count them, TWO of the hoe-crutches!

    • Zombie_Spacer
      Zombie_Spacer
      May 18, 2013, 12:08 am | # | Reply

      *badum-tish*

    • LockRobster
      LockRobster
      May 18, 2013, 4:21 am | # | Reply

      Ah! Aaah! I seeee what you did there! Heh-heh.

    • Zombie_Spacer
      Zombie_Spacer
      May 18, 2013, 11:59 pm | # | Reply

      Two! Two hoe-crutches! Ah-ah-ah-ah!

  17. JarrysKid
    JarrysKid
    May 18, 2013, 12:11 pm | # | Reply

    With the crutches, wouldn’t he be “Bert the Quadrapedal”?

    • Zombie_Spacer
      Zombie_Spacer
      May 18, 2013, 11:57 pm | # | Reply

      You know, I was actually thinking that too–I mean, it’s not like he wasn’t bipedal before. But then I thought, “No, then it wouldn’t be alliterative anymore.” And I can’t think of anything remotely similar that begins with a B. Hmm…

  18. Anvildude
    Anvildude
    May 18, 2013, 3:58 pm | # | Reply

    Bert the Bow-legged.

    • Zombie_Spacer
      Zombie_Spacer
      May 19, 2013, 12:01 am | # | Reply

      Ooh, I know! Bert the Bemoaning!

      • Anonymouse
        Anonymouse
        May 29, 2013, 1:32 am | # | Reply

        Bert the Bert

  19. Tyris
    Tyris
    March 9, 2014, 4:58 am | # | Reply

    Beast-Eater? We had always assumed he was Braggadocio the Blessed.

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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