The Kobold Oracle from Order of the Stick did prepare for its encounter with Belkar (or more precisely, Belkar’s knifes). To some hilarious effects.
It also seems to happen a lot to it. Must be a general rule among oracles: customers tend to lose their cool when it’s revealed to them that Fate doesn’t have anything good in stock for them…
Ok I’m the oracle, here you go: Best, you are a narcissistic delusional machiavellian egomaniac incapable of empathy with others. You have done little positive deeds to this point and they are completely dwarfed by your insanely destructive outbursts. You’ve learned nothing at all through this, you’ve never grown a single bit. So you’ll continue on this same destructive path you’ve been on until your massive mouth finally writes a check your dungaroo-wearing ass can’t cash and you end up dead with not a single soul who will waste their time mourning you.
Too long didn’t listen: You’re a shit-filled douchebag Best, you decided to be one long ago, you continued being one and you’ll die alone as one *pipe drop*
You’re a vain one, Mr. Best.
Your ego’s really swelled,
Your head is so obtusely huge they kicked you out of hell, Mr. Be-EST!
You’re a two week old pita bread, filled with sour falafellll
You’re a monster, Mr. Best
You have a pus filled soul
Oh how I wish you’d stayed there when you fell into that hole, Mr. Be-EST!
I hope you get terminal pimples and an agonizing ugly gross mole.
You’re a wanker, Mr. Best
Your pits emit a stench
You’ve got less tact and empathy than WAV had common sense, Mr. Be-EST!
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d choose WAV, no matter how dense!
You’re a cancer, Mr. Best
You’re a crusty – wusty stain
There’s old cobwebs in your chest and there’s beetles in your brain, Mr. Be-EST!
The four words that best describe you, and I quote: Vain! Pain! Acid Rain!
You’re a douchebag, Mr. Best
A shit-elf through and through
You’re crap and feces mixed all up with fresh wet camel poo, Mr. Be-EST!
Your life is an appalling machiavellian egomaniacal deluded path producing insanely destructive outbursts, mashed up in a trashed up putrid fetid roux!
You’re a narcissist, Mr. Best,
With a nauseous super “narce”
You’re a crooked crummy criminal with a cracked and crooked arse, Mr. Be-EST!
You’re a full plated poison oak crabapple salad, with pee-racha sauce!
Wow… Best is as charming as ever. Wav wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy, but he was endearing in his own way. Best has managed to avoid learning a single goddamn lesson thus far and it really grates on my nerves how he treats the rest of the group.
I’ll say this much for Best: yes, he’s a contemptible, self-absorbed, dangerously hot-tempered jerkass, but–he’s interesting. WAV, in contrast, was not. He had no character flaws and no distinguishing traits other than being generically nice and a team player and completely without wants of his own other than to serve. In other words, boring.
Best jump-starts plots and conflicts. WAV jump-started nothing, except for fan speculation–proven correct–that he was Best’s alternate personality.
Perhaps what the story is building to, with regard to the character, is the emergence of a new, integrated personality which combines Best’s passion and “quest for glory” motivation with WAV’s cooperative and altruistic attitude. If Best is the thesis and WAV the antithesis, perhaps his next incarnation will be a synthesis.
Best is an exemplification of my experience trying to play Renegade in the Mass Effect series. I always wished that path would have been a little more Wolverine and a little less Jersey Shore.
Best also hasn’t killed any of his team mates or required a resurrection so I’d say he’s doing pretty well so far. Hell, he even prevented Byron from zerking once through non-violent means.
Incidentally synthesis was my chosen ending in ME. :P
Perhaps WAV was not interesting to YOU, but many other readers did enjoy his short-lived run. WAV had several character flaws many can relate to, examples: he was overly trusting, naive due to his ‘tourist’ status in the Arkerra dimension, and socially awkward for the same reason. I imagine you would accuse Star Trek’s DATA of being similarly ‘boring’ but that might be because you aren’t looking past the surface of the character.
The only thing Best advanced forward plot-wise was giving Syr some data on Byron’s condition when he stopped his berserking with music to save his own ass. That’s it, his sole good deed for the party while on the other scale he caused THREE massive derailments and setbacks for the party that also stopped the plot in its tracks. So overall no, Best does not advance the plot one bit with his bullshit.
Data and WAV are hardly comparable in depth of characterization.
On another note, while you seem to think Best is evil incarnate, it bears in mind that he didn’t start out a jerk. He became one when, as a result of the elder who cried “The prophecy!” prematurely, he instantly received so much attention and adulatioin from the naive villagers that it went to his head. Before that, he was a mild-mannered musician who sought a stable-boy job to pay the bills.
Also, prior to his meltdown over the basin, he did make a genuine effort to be repentant and kind to his fellow adventurers. Obviously that didn’t take, but that moment shouldn’t be forgotten.
Finally, let’s keep in mind that Best and WAV are both “powered” by the same Sepia World individual. This suggests that said individual must possess both good and bad characteristics. Which is why I think it’s still possible for Best, jerk though he normally is, to redeem himself, whether through some sort of synthesis of his two characters or otherwise. We shall see. In the meantime, I prefer not to over-demonize any character before the tale is done.
Can you please explain how exactly WAV lacked characterization beyond the simple fact that he was not given a lot of time in the story? I think he was given at least as much depth as Best really, obviously not quite as much as Data but a similar core personality is there.
I can admit maybe drawing the line at certain things is too harsh but at least I’ll clarify where I put relevant lines.
-Tossing children from lethal heights without warning or discussion
-Attacking a former comrade from behind because they don’t want to work with you again
-Destroying a very powerful rare artifact obviously bound to trigger something terrible because it predicts a bad outcome.
He’s not pure evil or anything, I don’t mean to say that. He’s just plain selfish and narcissistic- right to his core. His massive ego took the prophecy as the perfect excuse to fulfill his latent desire to declare himself superior to all around him and reap the material spoils of it.
Well I’m only talking about Best, as in half of the total individual that is both WAV and Best. Basically 80ish% of Best has to die except for the sass and wit which WAV claims as his prize-> pipe dream I know, which really renders all of this moot. I don’t mean to demonize Best, he’s just a garden variety shitbag, nothing more.
Someone mentioned a few pages back that it seems like this is being setup for it to be revealed that somehow Best is a Winter Elf. As much as I hate the idea of him finding out he IS actually important, it does so far seem as though he’s being setup for a big reveal like that.
When he was Wav, he did learn. But when his memory returned, he became more petty, spiteful & vindictive than he was before he changed into Wav. If the Oracle were his mom & she sees him like this, he’ll probably wind up right back out in the cold again. If anything, I hope Best really does find a way to balance both of those personalities into something better than either of them.
After a long day of resurrection, Payet Best goes to his Payet Nest to take his Payet Rest. He wakes up feeling his Payet Best. Then he’ll get Payet Dressed in his Payet Vest to go on a Payet Quest. He goes to the oracle and becomes Payet Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Payet Guest. Then to school to take his Payet Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Payet Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Payet Pest.
Are you really suggesting the sun will set in the Payet West without Payet Best copping some Payet Breast? Even if it’s his own Payet Chest. Maybe he should buy a clone… I mean, when it’s yourself, it’s not Payet ‘Cest. Heck, make several, have a Payet Fest. Oops… his trousers are Payet Messed.
Of course, I mean only Payet Jest. One incurs not the wrath of Payet, Lest one’s undoing become the focus of Payet Zest.
I like how, after trying to explain how this village exists nowhere in an everywhere fog, the winter elf picks up a key from under a mat to open a door. Between trying to rap one’s mind around the first, and seeing the banality of the second, I think I’d pretty much be speechless for a while.
I think the best thing about this is that I bet the oracle WILL tell Best why he keeps getting stuck with these dudes (also I like that people are just rolling with Best bursting out of WAV like a cocoon)
The irony, of course, is that he was designed explicitly to grab aggro – it’s just that his player didn’t think it through, about what sort of character would try to always be the focus of attention.
Not all of them, just that this player didn’t think it through, and the game thus made an assumption. There are probably tanks that tank so others aren’t hurt, for example…but Best is designed around having “A Great Destiny” and being “IMPORTANT” (and not much more, apparently. Everyone else had more, from what we’ve seen) – take that together with his play style, and that is, as they say, that – the game made Best a thorough ass-hat.
WAV had character: he was naive, overly-trusting, polite, reserved, intelligent, observant, awkward and he empathized with others. Best’s character is simply this: narcissistic uncaring selfish egomaniac
He has had hints of character depth and moments of decency. His hubris and selfishness has at times been genuinely amusing. He actually is a competent adventurer when he’s not throwing tantrums. Back when he disappeared, I considered him an interesting character.
But right now, he’s a one-dimensional parody of his worst side. An ungrateful shithead without any self-awareness. And it has worn thin.
I found WAV interesting at least because he showed that his “player” wasn’t limited to playing a douche. I don’t find Best interesting right now, and probably won’t until he moves on from his petty, unjustified grudges and starts showing some character development.
“…right now, he’s a one-dimensional parody of his worst side. An ungrateful shithead without any self-awareness.”
He’s been back for like..six pages my dude, not including the ones he was unconscious for. The man just regained his memory after falling through a portal and getting packaged into a new identity for god knows how long and what he remembers first is that he was fucking pissed at everyone, justified or not. At least wait to be angry until after the man actually gets clued in on everything and maybe has some meaningful dialogue.
I think we’re just feeling the “Oh yeah, that Best.” frustration that his teammates were feeling, which lead Frigg to decide it was best he take a short nap.
So… does Payet get a final attack sorta scene where he brings back Wav, and a third conglomerate form of himself, for a jam session that sets the world right? Because if so… Way too 80’s. I’m in.
Damn pugs.
always with the mouth-drooling and rubbing their butts on the ground.
Big eyes staring off into… somewhere.
Oh wow I just realized how much I really never missed him. Like at all. Can we please have Wav back?
I was about to type the same thing. I thought the revelation when he was lost should have stuck.
…Yep.
I too miss Wav. :(
I vote for getting Wave back too. Peckerhead is just to arrogantly stupid tie live.
Am I the only one who missed his hilarious douchebag routine? Wav was fine, but not nearly as fun to watch.
No, you’re not the only one.
If Best gets another answer he doesn’t like, will he try to destroy the Oracle?
At least the Oracle will see it coming and can react unlike inanimate objects.
The Kobold Oracle from Order of the Stick did prepare for its encounter with Belkar (or more precisely, Belkar’s knifes). To some hilarious effects.
It also seems to happen a lot to it. Must be a general rule among oracles: customers tend to lose their cool when it’s revealed to them that Fate doesn’t have anything good in stock for them…
“No, seriously, give ’em a good working over!”
Ok I’m the oracle, here you go: Best, you are a narcissistic delusional machiavellian egomaniac incapable of empathy with others. You have done little positive deeds to this point and they are completely dwarfed by your insanely destructive outbursts. You’ve learned nothing at all through this, you’ve never grown a single bit. So you’ll continue on this same destructive path you’ve been on until your massive mouth finally writes a check your dungaroo-wearing ass can’t cash and you end up dead with not a single soul who will waste their time mourning you.
Too long didn’t listen: You’re a shit-filled douchebag Best, you decided to be one long ago, you continued being one and you’ll die alone as one *pipe drop*
I wish one could read that to the tune of “You’re a mean one, Mister Grinch”…
You beat me to it! That’s what the above reminded me of.
So, how’s this:
You’re a vain one, Mr. Best.
Your ego’s really swelled,
Your head is so obtusely huge they kicked you out of hell, Mr. Be-EST!
You’re a two week old pita bread, filled with sour falafellll
You’re a monster, Mr. Best
You have a pus filled soul
Oh how I wish you’d stayed there when you fell into that hole, Mr. Be-EST!
I hope you get terminal pimples and an agonizing ugly gross mole.
You’re a wanker, Mr. Best
Your pits emit a stench
You’ve got less tact and empathy than WAV had common sense, Mr. Be-EST!
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d choose WAV, no matter how dense!
You’re a cancer, Mr. Best
You’re a crusty – wusty stain
There’s old cobwebs in your chest and there’s beetles in your brain, Mr. Be-EST!
The four words that best describe you, and I quote: Vain! Pain! Acid Rain!
You’re a douchebag, Mr. Best
A shit-elf through and through
You’re crap and feces mixed all up with fresh wet camel poo, Mr. Be-EST!
Your life is an appalling machiavellian egomaniacal deluded path producing insanely destructive outbursts, mashed up in a trashed up putrid fetid roux!
You’re a narcissist, Mr. Best,
With a nauseous super “narce”
You’re a crooked crummy criminal with a cracked and crooked arse, Mr. Be-EST!
You’re a full plated poison oak crabapple salad, with pee-racha sauce!
I read that all in the same voice as the singer they used in the original cartoon version of the story. Spot on with every syllable!
“You were BORN a shit-elf, you will DIE a shit-elf, and only you feces will mourn you!”
Why ten feces won free of him. Only the lice will morn him.
Why the feces won free of him. Only the lice will morn him.
God he’s even more insufferable when he’s not trying to get them all killed.
Other way around, Best.
That seems an appropriate avatar given the look Auraugu is giving to him.
So when Penk and co. start clobbering Best, will they ask permission first? And when they do, how long to the Peacekeepers wait until they save him?
Probably not, and not long. Byron might hate it, but he’ll still step in pretty quick to help.
“Your Fate is to be a snack.” And then Auraugu eats him.
(If only HAMMERHEAD were there.)
Aw, Best. Crushing the dreams of the introverts. No really, his personality is refreshing.
Wow… Best is as charming as ever. Wav wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy, but he was endearing in his own way. Best has managed to avoid learning a single goddamn lesson thus far and it really grates on my nerves how he treats the rest of the group.
Can someone please kill Best again?
Best is the only one of the five that hasn’t died yet
Debatable.
I’ll say this much for Best: yes, he’s a contemptible, self-absorbed, dangerously hot-tempered jerkass, but–he’s interesting. WAV, in contrast, was not. He had no character flaws and no distinguishing traits other than being generically nice and a team player and completely without wants of his own other than to serve. In other words, boring.
Best jump-starts plots and conflicts. WAV jump-started nothing, except for fan speculation–proven correct–that he was Best’s alternate personality.
Perhaps what the story is building to, with regard to the character, is the emergence of a new, integrated personality which combines Best’s passion and “quest for glory” motivation with WAV’s cooperative and altruistic attitude. If Best is the thesis and WAV the antithesis, perhaps his next incarnation will be a synthesis.
Best is an exemplification of my experience trying to play Renegade in the Mass Effect series. I always wished that path would have been a little more Wolverine and a little less Jersey Shore.
This is a sad truth.
Best also hasn’t killed any of his team mates or required a resurrection so I’d say he’s doing pretty well so far. Hell, he even prevented Byron from zerking once through non-violent means.
Incidentally synthesis was my chosen ending in ME. :P
Hasn’t required a resurrection? He died first, before it was mainstream. He’s a crypster.
He never really died. he just became WAV
Perhaps WAV was not interesting to YOU, but many other readers did enjoy his short-lived run. WAV had several character flaws many can relate to, examples: he was overly trusting, naive due to his ‘tourist’ status in the Arkerra dimension, and socially awkward for the same reason. I imagine you would accuse Star Trek’s DATA of being similarly ‘boring’ but that might be because you aren’t looking past the surface of the character.
The only thing Best advanced forward plot-wise was giving Syr some data on Byron’s condition when he stopped his berserking with music to save his own ass. That’s it, his sole good deed for the party while on the other scale he caused THREE massive derailments and setbacks for the party that also stopped the plot in its tracks. So overall no, Best does not advance the plot one bit with his bullshit.
Data and WAV are hardly comparable in depth of characterization.
On another note, while you seem to think Best is evil incarnate, it bears in mind that he didn’t start out a jerk. He became one when, as a result of the elder who cried “The prophecy!” prematurely, he instantly received so much attention and adulatioin from the naive villagers that it went to his head. Before that, he was a mild-mannered musician who sought a stable-boy job to pay the bills.
Also, prior to his meltdown over the basin, he did make a genuine effort to be repentant and kind to his fellow adventurers. Obviously that didn’t take, but that moment shouldn’t be forgotten.
Finally, let’s keep in mind that Best and WAV are both “powered” by the same Sepia World individual. This suggests that said individual must possess both good and bad characteristics. Which is why I think it’s still possible for Best, jerk though he normally is, to redeem himself, whether through some sort of synthesis of his two characters or otherwise. We shall see. In the meantime, I prefer not to over-demonize any character before the tale is done.
Can you please explain how exactly WAV lacked characterization beyond the simple fact that he was not given a lot of time in the story? I think he was given at least as much depth as Best really, obviously not quite as much as Data but a similar core personality is there.
I can admit maybe drawing the line at certain things is too harsh but at least I’ll clarify where I put relevant lines.
-Tossing children from lethal heights without warning or discussion
-Attacking a former comrade from behind because they don’t want to work with you again
-Destroying a very powerful rare artifact obviously bound to trigger something terrible because it predicts a bad outcome.
He’s not pure evil or anything, I don’t mean to say that. He’s just plain selfish and narcissistic- right to his core. His massive ego took the prophecy as the perfect excuse to fulfill his latent desire to declare himself superior to all around him and reap the material spoils of it.
Well I’m only talking about Best, as in half of the total individual that is both WAV and Best. Basically 80ish% of Best has to die except for the sass and wit which WAV claims as his prize-> pipe dream I know, which really renders all of this moot. I don’t mean to demonize Best, he’s just a garden variety shitbag, nothing more.
honestly the most surprising thing here is that best isn’t reacting to the cold whatsoever.
Someone mentioned a few pages back that it seems like this is being setup for it to be revealed that somehow Best is a Winter Elf. As much as I hate the idea of him finding out he IS actually important, it does so far seem as though he’s being setup for a big reveal like that.
The Oracle is mom and mom kicked him out. Told him not to show his jerkass face around here until he learned some manners and respect.
When he was Wav, he did learn. But when his memory returned, he became more petty, spiteful & vindictive than he was before he changed into Wav. If the Oracle were his mom & she sees him like this, he’ll probably wind up right back out in the cold again. If anything, I hope Best really does find a way to balance both of those personalities into something better than either of them.
After a long day of resurrection, Payet Best goes to his Payet Nest to take his Payet Rest. He wakes up feeling his Payet Best. Then he’ll get Payet Dressed in his Payet Vest to go on a Payet Quest. He goes to the oracle and becomes Payet Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Payet Guest. Then to school to take his Payet Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Payet Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Payet Pest.
Are you really suggesting the sun will set in the Payet West without Payet Best copping some Payet Breast? Even if it’s his own Payet Chest. Maybe he should buy a clone… I mean, when it’s yourself, it’s not Payet ‘Cest. Heck, make several, have a Payet Fest. Oops… his trousers are Payet Messed.
Of course, I mean only Payet Jest. One incurs not the wrath of Payet, Lest one’s undoing become the focus of Payet Zest.
“Peckerhead” is an insult that doesn’t get nearly enough use.
I live how Syr’Nj has given up even trying to be friendly or diplomatic with Best.
Edit: live = love
Sadly, the “peckerhead” comment was Byron’s. She’s still not openly hostile.
They’re referring to Syr’Nj’s extremely half assed attempt at diplomatic empathy, not Byron’s comment.
Yes… Even her patience has limits, and it’s not like Best would listen to her anyway.
Then again, I love just about everything she does.
He’s a real nowhere man,
living in his nowhere land…..
I miss Wav
We should start a protest: bring Wav back!
I don’t think we haven’t seen the last of him. Or of his kind. He’s too good to drop him.
Ditto :(
I miss Wav.
Man, did Payet Best just get corrected by a Gnoll? However will his ego stand it?
I like how, after trying to explain how this village exists nowhere in an everywhere fog, the winter elf picks up a key from under a mat to open a door. Between trying to rap one’s mind around the first, and seeing the banality of the second, I think I’d pretty much be speechless for a while.
Best just needs a healthy dose of Auraugu wisdom!
Lay it on him, ‘o Champion of the Fuzzy Peoples! :D
I think the best thing about this is that I bet the oracle WILL tell Best why he keeps getting stuck with these dudes (also I like that people are just rolling with Best bursting out of WAV like a cocoon)
When did his eyes turn red? Have they been that way since he unWAVed? Ever before?
Oh, Best, why does your face look so punchable?
The irony, of course, is that he was designed explicitly to grab aggro – it’s just that his player didn’t think it through, about what sort of character would try to always be the focus of attention.
So you are saying that all tanks are assholes??
It would explain a lot.
Not all of them, just that this player didn’t think it through, and the game thus made an assumption. There are probably tanks that tank so others aren’t hurt, for example…but Best is designed around having “A Great Destiny” and being “IMPORTANT” (and not much more, apparently. Everyone else had more, from what we’ve seen) – take that together with his play style, and that is, as they say, that – the game made Best a thorough ass-hat.
So, that would make Best’s player a tanked tank? A tank in a tank?
Tankce– *gets crushed by falling piano*
Dragging YOU down? Best, you disappeared like 2 expansions ago. You must be like 40 levels behind them.
So you’re in the country music business now, Best.
Not enough people give best credit. Atleast unlike WAV he has character
WAV had character: he was naive, overly-trusting, polite, reserved, intelligent, observant, awkward and he empathized with others. Best’s character is simply this: narcissistic uncaring selfish egomaniac
He has had hints of character depth and moments of decency. His hubris and selfishness has at times been genuinely amusing. He actually is a competent adventurer when he’s not throwing tantrums. Back when he disappeared, I considered him an interesting character.
But right now, he’s a one-dimensional parody of his worst side. An ungrateful shithead without any self-awareness. And it has worn thin.
I found WAV interesting at least because he showed that his “player” wasn’t limited to playing a douche. I don’t find Best interesting right now, and probably won’t until he moves on from his petty, unjustified grudges and starts showing some character development.
“…right now, he’s a one-dimensional parody of his worst side. An ungrateful shithead without any self-awareness.”
He’s been back for like..six pages my dude, not including the ones he was unconscious for. The man just regained his memory after falling through a portal and getting packaged into a new identity for god knows how long and what he remembers first is that he was fucking pissed at everyone, justified or not. At least wait to be angry until after the man actually gets clued in on everything and maybe has some meaningful dialogue.
…I’m not angry?
Well, be angry, it’s more fun that way :-)
I think we’re just feeling the “Oh yeah, that Best.” frustration that his teammates were feeling, which lead Frigg to decide it was best he take a short nap.
So… does Payet get a final attack sorta scene where he brings back Wav, and a third conglomerate form of himself, for a jam session that sets the world right? Because if so… Way too 80’s. I’m in.
Well, he /is/ truly outrageous enough.
His de$tiny is to reality hop, until he has enough versions of himself to create a bodacious band, with the Best musician on every instrument.