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New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

How about 'Greater Instant Victory Plus Ale?' No? All right.

Chapter 6 – Page 10

on July 28, 2010
Chapter: Chapter 06
└ Tags: Bandit, Byron, Frigg, Gravedust, Scarlett, Syr'Nj, The Sisterhood of the Perpetual Bloodshot Eyeball
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Discussion (56) ¬

  1. Lloyd
    Lloyd
    July 28, 2010, 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Personally I would’ve held out for cake.

  2. Moe Lane
    Moe Lane
    July 28, 2010, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Summon Bigger Fish.

    Wait, sorry, wrong webcomic.

    • FUnkMAser
      FUnkMAser
      July 30, 2010, 5:20 am | # | Reply

      HOLY COW!! I need to go read Darth and Droids again! Thanks for reminding me. XD

      • zack of hiskatana
        zack of hiskatana
        August 4, 2011, 1:17 am | # | Reply

        not related, but,

        howsabout we summon the BALROG OF MORGOTH!!!

        as opposed to less goth or greater goth

  3. Dean
    Dean
    July 28, 2010, 12:25 am | # | Reply

    It might be a mistake on the nun’s part to call on a god who provides help when it is most needed. Under the circumstances, i mean.

    • James K
      James K
      July 28, 2010, 1:09 am | # | Reply

      She said Gigundus “helps us when we need it most”. If by “us” she means her order, then I’d say she’s fine.

      • SamB
        SamB
        July 29, 2010, 12:08 pm | # | Reply

        Actually, she said he *appears* to help them when they need it most. It’s quite possible that he’s faking it ;-P.

        • Phil
          Flo
          July 29, 2010, 12:08 pm | # | Reply

          Gold star.

  4. The Indomitable Eric
    The Indomitable Eric
    July 28, 2010, 12:29 am | # | Reply

    “I CAN BREAK THESE CUFFS.”
    “You can’t break those cuffs.”
    “UGGGGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

  5. Pikey
    Pikey
    July 28, 2010, 12:41 am | # | Reply

    ‘Greater Instant Victory Plus Ale’????

    I want that spell!

  6. D-bomb
    D-bomb
    July 28, 2010, 1:20 am | # | Reply

    no, you only think you can, you think you can, you think you can…

  7. figgyleaf
    figgyleaf
    July 28, 2010, 1:30 am | # | Reply

    i love how he dosent evan question the whole “see life forces” thing. he’s just like: “oh ok, cool that helps”

    • Hypothetical
      Hypothetical
      July 28, 2010, 1:53 am | # | Reply

      Sure, why not. He’s already seen the guy use Souls to make guided arrows, what’s a little seeing the aura among friends?

      Dang you Moe Lane, you stole my joke!!!!

    • Kenkins
      Kenkins
      July 28, 2010, 2:01 am | # | Reply

      It’s like these are new players to a system they’re familiar with, but not deeply.

      • Hypothetical
        Hypothetical
        July 28, 2010, 2:47 am | # | Reply

        Actually, Bandit was playing her Char just right. Thieves have no use for heavy armor, and a heavy mace, while nice for a Meatshield, is way too heavy vs. it’s value in gold to bother snagging.

        • FreddeX
          FreddeX
          May 10, 2011, 3:06 am | # | Reply

          Yepp, unless it is either of rare material (i.e Mithril, adamantium etc.), an artifact or you know someone who would pay a lot of money for them! :)

    • Nentuaby
      Nentuaby
      July 28, 2010, 2:20 am | # | Reply

      He lives in a world with flying cities. I think “I can see living auras” warrants about as much skepticism as “I have three gold medals from high school swim meets.” I.E., a significant amount if and only if he uses it for a pickup line.

  8. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    July 28, 2010, 2:02 am | # | Reply

    It’d be funny if with all the straining Frigg’s bra suddenly snapped/ripped instead of the shackles.

    Sorry Byron, no unbeatable army. Now can you break it or not?

  9. SteelRaven
    SteelRaven
    July 28, 2010, 2:06 am | # | Reply

    “Summon vengeful spirits” would be good right about now.

  10. ahdok
    ahdok
    July 28, 2010, 3:41 am | # | Reply

    Frigg’s got one big family.

  11. TexasNinjaBuzzard
    TexasNinjaBuzzard
    July 28, 2010, 3:51 am | # | Reply

    “Summon Illusionary Spirits” would work just as well, if he shows the Sisterhood of The Traveling Poleaxe a vision of Giguzunder telling them to quit they trippin’. Or, y’know, just call him on the All-Seeing Eye Phone, since they’re actually working for the same boss-man as the Sisters.

  12. Silvermane
    Silvermane
    July 28, 2010, 3:57 am | # | Reply

    I can’t help but love Bandit’s butt as she’s digging in the box. Also super lol at ” Summon Unbeatable Army”.

  13. Hypothetical
    Hypothetical
    July 28, 2010, 4:12 am | # | Reply

    Wait a minute…Gravies a Cleric fer goshsakes. Where’s his Summon Monster 1-5? Not quite an unbeatable army, but good for a distraction if nothing else. 4 or 5 D4 worth of Celestial Dogs can be a nice little hunting party.

    • SaltyKracka
      SaltyKracka
      July 28, 2010, 7:33 pm | # | Reply

      He’s no cleric. He’s a mystic.

      All the soul and life powaz, none of the other stuff. Except for archery.

      But hey, heat-seeking arrows. Now if he could put that to use on weapons of a…greater scale…

    • Velsharoon
      Velsharoon
      July 29, 2010, 5:27 am | # | Reply

      Ah, Summon Monster and the clunky Hit Die system – here’s another thing I don’t miss about the old D&D. ;) Besides, they rather seem to be 4th than 3rd edition, so assuming he’s a shaman, the only thing he would summon is the occasional nature spirit or his ghost animal. Whatever he is, he is obviously a primal class character. But he has no healing powers (as far as we know), so maybe he is something freakish, like a seeker, or something. That would explain the arrow thing too. Assuming this would be D&D, of course. ;)

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        July 29, 2010, 11:01 am | # | Reply

        He is the first true seeker in a thousand years!

        • Tyris
          Tyris
          July 29, 2010, 2:22 pm | # | Reply

          Ain’t gonna get what he’s after ’til the day he dies.

  14. Dojang
    Dojang
    July 28, 2010, 8:33 am | # | Reply

    “in the name of gigundus, he who appears to help us, but really has a secret double-agenda.”

  15. Steveth
    Steveth
    July 28, 2010, 8:51 am | # | Reply

    I have to admit, in Shadowrun I’m rather fond of the spells “orgasm” and “orgy (multi-target version)” for crowd-control. The AoE is nice, and even though you can’t distinguish between friend and foe, at least your allies won’t hate you if they get caught in the crossfire.

  16. G@T0R
    G@T0R
    July 28, 2010, 9:38 am | # | Reply

    Summon Jehovah’s witness would probably be pretty effective.

    “You get it!”
    “No, you get it.”
    “I’m not opening that door.”
    “Everybody be quiet!”
    “Quick, out the back.”
    “What about her?”
    “Just leave her here. A fate far worse than death awaits her.”

  17. Hawk
    Hawk
    July 28, 2010, 11:46 am | # | Reply

    No, G@tor, that’s the Mormons. (My husband grew up in the Witnesses, they’re not the monsters some folks make ’em out to be. The Mormons, on the other hand, are downright obnoxious, at least in this town.)

    Liked the “summon unbeatable army” thing. As well as the alt text. The reply to that ought to be, “Naw, not until I get 9th level spells.”

  18. Carl-E
    Carl-E
    July 28, 2010, 11:56 am | # | Reply

    Wull, with no undefeatable army, we may actually get to see Byron have to berserk!

    I can hardly wait… *yawn*

    • miklanin
      miklanin
      July 28, 2010, 12:18 pm | # | Reply

      Wait…what? Byron? Berserk? As in…he is a berserker?? C’mon, Chollie, quit yankin’ my chain. (/sarcasm)

      • Mogelram
        Mogelram
        July 28, 2010, 2:11 pm | # | Reply

        I already waited four stips ago for that to happen… ;Þ

        • Baronyx
          Baronyx
          July 28, 2010, 5:48 pm | # | Reply

          I really have no idea why you think ‘Byron-the-passive-aggressive’ would go Berserk.

          it’s not like his name merits it; and thus should have been witnessed a thousand times by now.

          IS IT PHIL.

          • Phil
            Flo
            July 28, 2010, 6:08 pm | # | Reply

            Wait, isn’t berserking that thing you do with the tapered wooden pegs and the bundle of yarn?

          • Dojang
            Dojang
            July 28, 2010, 7:39 pm | # | Reply

            oh come on. think about it. if byron was the psychotic sonofabitch that you all seem to want him to be, would there be any interest in his character? as it stands, he’s an enigma. a pacifistic (well, kind of) warrior. it makes him more interesting.

            he’s obviously got some issues with his past, and i’m sure he’ll be forced to confront them all in good time.

            • Schlock
              Schlock
              July 28, 2010, 11:07 pm | # | Reply

              Maybe he just has to unlock his seventh chakra so he can become a fully realized ava—uhh, berserker

            • The Indomitable Eric
              The Indomitable Eric
              July 29, 2010, 4:23 am | # | Reply

              Come now! We obviously don’t want a character, we want a pair of axes with legs. This whole character development and motivations thing never flies in D&D, why would it work here? Character rationalization and reason fly out the window when xp or loot is involved.

              Obviously.

              • Dojang
                Dojang
                July 29, 2010, 7:15 am | # | Reply

                to be honest, i’ve always felt that the characters in GA took more of an oldschool fantasy novel genre than a gaming one. part of the reason i enjoy it so much. sure, there are gaming references, but the characters, the world and the plot are deeply rooted in fantasy of a more traditional nature.

                • Intruder
                  Intruder
                  July 29, 2010, 11:59 pm | # | Reply

                  I’ll put it more bluntly: If this was just a gaming comic I would have stopped reading it already.

  19. VexingVision
    VexingVision
    July 28, 2010, 3:15 pm | # | Reply

    If I ever open a restaurant, “Greater Instant Victory” will be the name of the dish containing a lot of peppers. Oh, and you can order it with ale.

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      July 28, 2010, 3:51 pm | # | Reply

      Greater Instant Diarrhea.

      Melf’s Acid Puke.

      Bigby’s Crushing Stomach Pain.

      • miklanin
        miklanin
        July 28, 2010, 4:12 pm | # | Reply

        but there is a cure for all those.

        Mordenkainen’s Mystical Maalox

        • Jean-Luc
          Jean-Luc
          July 28, 2010, 4:36 pm | # | Reply

          And what about Power Word: Cramp and Abi Dalzim’s Muscle Spasm?

          • Hypothetical
            Hypothetical
            July 29, 2010, 11:08 am | # | Reply

            Way back in the day I had a high level Wizard. Just for kicks he created a spell called “Just for S***s and Giggles”. Instant uncontrollable diarrhea and laughter for 1d4 Rounds per caster level.

  20. Jon
    Jon
    July 28, 2010, 5:27 pm | # | Reply

    Okay, maybe I’m misreading the art on this page – but did Supernun just give Frigg a Glasgow smile? (Or cut off her nose?)

    • Mic-Gold
      Mic-Gold
      July 28, 2010, 6:42 pm | # | Reply

      I think the nose is fine, but looks like Frig’s gonna have a hard time drinking healing potions for a while.

      • SteelRaven
        SteelRaven
        July 28, 2010, 9:41 pm | # | Reply

        The nuns are not looking to kill her, just really, really hurt her.

        • Jean-Luc
          Jean-Luc
          July 28, 2010, 10:53 pm | # | Reply

          It’s for her own good really.

          • Qlippoth
            Qlippoth
            July 29, 2010, 1:12 pm | # | Reply

            “A stitch in time”, you might say…

    • The Indomitable Eric
      The Indomitable Eric
      July 29, 2010, 4:28 am | # | Reply

      I think that’s just a ‘grrrrrr trying to escape’ face combined with a badly bruised cheek from the earlier beating.

  21. Hopeless
    Hopeless
    July 29, 2010, 3:35 pm | # | Reply

    Byron bursts in and hollers at them to stop that!
    Really!
    And then try and figure out a plan to save all their collective behinds!

  22. Shadow4eternity
    Shadow4eternity
    July 31, 2010, 12:48 am | # | Reply

    I personally am a fan of the ‘9 second pregnancy’ spell one of our magic users came up with. Works well on medium sized groups…. Though the men don’t seem to survive it too well….
    Could end up with 20ish new saviours to send out and convert the populace.

  23. Cote
    Cote
    August 1, 2010, 8:52 pm | # | Reply

    I heart the alt text.

    That is all.

  24. Rainshine
    Rainshine
    September 7, 2010, 4:20 pm | # | Reply

    Bandit has a nicely shaped bottom…

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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