Guilded Age

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New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

All obstacles hurdled and opponents felled or YOUR MONEY BACK! Order now, and we'll throw in a sub-plot conclusion, ABSOLUTELY FREE.

Chapter 6 – Page 13

on August 4, 2010
Chapter: Chapter 06
└ Tags: Byron, Gravedust, Scarlett, The Sisterhood of the Perpetual Bloodshot Eyeball
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Discussion (34) ¬

  1. minion
    minion
    August 4, 2010, 12:21 am | # | Reply

    No comments? Nun at all?? Is everyone stunned into speechlessness? 30% of the enjoyment of this comic i get from the discussion (dreadful punnery included). Anyway for relevance, i think Gravedust has brought a bow to a knife-fight…
    As for the alt-txt – i want my ginsu steak-knives!

    • TexasNinjaBuzzard
      TexasNinjaBuzzard
      August 4, 2010, 4:11 am | # | Reply

      The dreadful punnery is kinda making me want to drink all the liquor in the house and juggle razors, because it is very very sad. Sad like Old Yeller on crutches with a hungry vulture photoshopped next to it.

      Children these days, they put no effort into great endeavours. Has all the comedy gone? Is this, at the end of it all, to what we as once-proud Englishmen have been reduced? Seven separate uses of ‘Nun = None’ in but a single storyline, to masquerade as ‘comedy’? Bah!

      …Shame. Shame upon the whole sorry lot of us, loyal subjects of a virtuous Queen no longer. Shuffle off now into the darkness, you wretches– you deserve the light no longer! Abandoned unto Gehenna by Almighty God are we, for puns, for puns!

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        August 4, 2010, 6:39 am | # | Reply

        Well, that’s just your o-{pu-(n}-un)-ion.

        • Hawk
          Hawk
          August 4, 2010, 8:40 am | # | Reply

          I like it.

    • Hypothetical
      Hypothetical
      August 4, 2010, 5:03 am | # | Reply

      Don’t worry, when Byron get jiggy with those axes you’re going to get Turbo Ginsu action.

      He slices, he dices, he makes french fried hymn books in three different sizes.

  2. SteelRaven
    SteelRaven
    August 4, 2010, 12:35 am | # | Reply

    Gravedust needs to get to the point, that being the one at the end of his arrow.

  3. Joe
    Joe
    August 4, 2010, 1:24 am | # | Reply

    Sub-plot conclusion?
    So we’ll finally see the end to the blatant sexual tension between Byron and Gravy?

    • minion
      minion
      August 4, 2010, 1:33 am | # | Reply

      Nah its the other subplot about byron’s axes and berserkiness (not). Or is it the one about the sexual tension between S’rynj and Bandit? Or the one about the history of Frazz? or NOOOOoooooo!!! head hurts!!!

      • BeetlesBane
        BeetlesBane
        August 4, 2010, 2:07 pm | # | Reply

        Mavbe it’s the slash subplot about Byron’s (two) axes.

  4. TheDeadMansLife
    TheDeadMansLife
    August 4, 2010, 2:10 am | # | Reply

    I can say that was the first time I saw someone fist a nun…

    Kinda hot.

    • Pyre
      Pyre
      August 4, 2010, 2:21 am | # | Reply

      I just…what the….I….WOW.

      Also, it was hotter when Frigg did it. And louder!

    • minion
      minion
      August 4, 2010, 2:49 am | # | Reply

      does accuse Gravedust of being perverse in the first panel so it kinda fits.

  5. wingsofwrath
    wingsofwrath
    August 4, 2010, 5:33 am | # | Reply

    Actually, when faced with multiple opponents your best bet is to keep hitting left and right while screaming at the top of your lungs- it keeps your adrenalin up, keeps them disoriented and more importantly, it helps preserve that one flimsy yet all important advantage you had in the first place – initiative.
    If you give the impression that you are completely off the rocker, thus unpredictable and more importantly unconcerned with your own safety, their survival instincts might kick in before their training or sense of discipline and you will hopefully end up facing a chaotic rabble rather then an organised army. Taking out their leader is a good idea, but engaging in small talk with her… not so much. For one it gives everybody else time to calm down, asses the situation and more importantly the odds… and you know it’ll only go downhill for you from there.
    So yeah, I don’t think either Gravedust or Byron actually know too much about unsymmetrical warfare, despite what we’ve been led to believe…

    • G@T0R
      G@T0R
      August 4, 2010, 10:39 am | # | Reply

      wrong! the best solution when faced with multiple enemies is explosives… while hand grenades may be a bit anachronistic, Didn’t we see s’rynj with dynamite earlier (first chapter). Oh, and you don’t have to worry about collateral damage. everyone who’s ever played and RTS or MMORPG knows that splash damage only effects the opposing faction. Frigg should be fine.

      • wingsofwrath
        wingsofwrath
        August 4, 2010, 4:04 pm | # | Reply

        I am very disappointed in your reply, my dear sir! To even have the gall to suggest that explosives be used in this situation is preposterous, especially when the only true solution (except the indiscriminate hitting and shouting earlier mentioned) is double-wielding machine-guns (the heavier, the better. bonus if we’re talking belt-fed water cooled or if their calibre exceeds .50). Technically known as “more dakka”, this manoeuvre is guaranteed to succeed, because as any FPS player knows, bullets only hurt enemies, while grenades might harm friends.

        • G@T0R
          G@T0R
          August 4, 2010, 5:08 pm | # | Reply

          win

    • Dojang
      Dojang
      August 4, 2010, 9:29 pm | # | Reply

      nah, with multiple opponents, you pick your positioning so that you only have to fight one at a time. line them up like dominoes. getting surrounded- even by two people, makes everything a lot rougher.

      • TexasNinjaBuzzard
        TexasNinjaBuzzard
        August 5, 2010, 2:41 am | # | Reply

        If you’re surrounded by two people you either need to gain weight or fight smaller opponents.

        • Flynn
          Flynn
          August 5, 2010, 9:23 am | # | Reply

          Unless those smaller opponents are painted blue and talk in a Scottish accent.

          • wingsofwrath
            wingsofwrath
            August 5, 2010, 1:10 pm | # | Reply

            You could throw them a bottle of bourbon and hope they go for that instead of you, but you’re pretty much buggered. Pictsies can head-butt bulls into submission!

  6. Niall
    Niall
    August 4, 2010, 6:09 am | # | Reply

    Wow, Gravedust. You’ve, er, got a touch of red in your, um (how do I put this?), eye.
    Seriously, you’re freaking me out.

  7. Caradin
    Caradin
    August 4, 2010, 7:04 am | # | Reply

    Gravedust looks like he’s about to become unhinged or maybe it’s a serious “WTF!?” face. I mean, rude, ladies. Rude. Sneaking up on a short guy from behind with sharp edged rulers. I mean, sure, they broke your tasteless eye thing and then started attacking you, but I mean, seriously, there are only two of them. There are fifty of you. Let him have a shot.

  8. Hawk
    Hawk
    August 4, 2010, 8:41 am | # | Reply

    Mayeb Byron’s berserker power is to make EVERYONE ELSE berserk!!!

    • Hawk
      Hawk
      August 4, 2010, 8:41 am | # | Reply

      Maybe, even. *sigh*

  9. Jon
    Jon
    August 4, 2010, 11:13 am | # | Reply

    Hell yeah.

  10. mark
    mark
    August 4, 2010, 11:18 am | # | Reply

    Sigh, have we forgotten this is a story? Everyone tells a story in their own way, whether we agree with how it’s told or not. I would rather sit back and enjoy the ride and not worry about what color the vehicle is… I for one am enjoying the tale. If I decide I don’t like it, why, I guess I’ll just have to write my own, eh?

  11. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    August 4, 2010, 7:06 pm | # | Reply

    A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a
    sign out of the corner of his eye. It says SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE
    OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES. He thinks it was just a figment of his
    imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees
    another sign which says SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF
    PROSTITUTION 5 MILES and realizes that these signs are for real.
    When he drives past a third sign saying SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE
    OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT, his curiosity gets the best of him
    and he pulls into the drive.

    On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a
    small sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the
    steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long
    black habit who asks “What may we do for you, my son?” He answers “I
    saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing
    business.”

    “Very well, my son. Please follow me.”

    He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.
    The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man “Please knock on
    this door.” He does as he is told and this door is answered by another
    nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup. This nun instructs “Please
    place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end
    of this hallway.” He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the
    second nun’s cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the
    door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he
    finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: GO
    IN PEACE, YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS
    OF MERCY.

  12. Off_Ground
    Off_Ground
    August 5, 2010, 8:32 am | # | Reply

    ^Hilarious^
    Their stragedy is sound to me. Setting up a choke point IS the best way to take on overwhelming numbers, but only if the enemy objective is to eliminate you at all cost. In this case Byron and Gravy´s primary goal is to distract and occupy the (fanatical, but neither mindless, nor suicidal) nuns so that their companions can release Frigg, who the headmistress could easily take hostage or kill, were she not subjected to a sudden assault/ambush.
    Also, i seem to recall Byron refusing to kill humans…and throwing one of his weapons away for the benefit of confusion.
    Of course, the second Frigg is loose and armed she will join the fray, which will probably turn the tides completely.

    • Hypothetical
      Hypothetical
      August 5, 2010, 9:33 am | # | Reply

      I got 4 words for ya…

      Water Filled Jail Cell.

      Hint hint.

  13. Snowblind
    Snowblind
    August 5, 2010, 1:10 pm | # | Reply

    What are those weapons?

    They look like switchblade rulers!

    Man, I don’t want my hands slapped with that!

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      August 5, 2010, 1:30 pm | # | Reply

      More like razor rulers. Basically the old disciplinary tool but now with an added edge.

  14. Guy
    Guy
    August 5, 2010, 4:24 pm | # | Reply

    It just occurred to me, but the nuns’ weapons are kind of reminiscent of Aztec-style swords.

    The clubs with rows of volcanic glass chips to provide a cutting edge.

    I guess a steel edge on a ruler might not be as novel a weapon as I first thought.

  15. Jack Vermicelli
    Jack Vermicelli
    August 5, 2010, 6:47 pm | # | Reply

    So the nun actually (notice, it’s plain a speech bubble, not an effect or a jaggedy/squiggly bubble) *said* (or, given the large caps, shouted) “HUFF–“?

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      August 5, 2010, 9:37 pm | # | Reply

      She probably tried to say something but was interrupted by a fist like object lodged just beneath her diaphragm.

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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