This is brilliant. Old boxers aren’t always that much slower, but they are that much more brain damaged! Clash of the Titans type matches must be hilarious.
Wow, it took the Lollipop Guildmaster an entire minute to checkmate Frigg? What, is he drunk or something? Frigg hits things. She’s a thing-hitter. A simple Fucktard’s Gambit should CM her in, like, two moves.
She might have more success with Extreme Chess(tm). Instead of players making one move per turn, each player rolls a d6 for each turn, and whoever rolled higher makes as many moves as the difference. Black 6, White 4 = Black moves twice. Black 4, White 1 = Black moves three times. Black 1, White 5 = White moves four times. You can force checkmate without your opponent ever moving if you roll right, and even a lousy player can demolish a master if they have better luck on the die.
Sorta. But does Frigg strike you as tactical or meat-shield? Her tactics seem to invole “beat it ’til it don’t move no more”. I’m not implying that she’s stupid, just not schooled in that arena. It’s why we have Byron.
“Or, she sit there and plays chess until she figures out all the tactics, and beats the guy soundly.”
Nah. Warfare is often ultimately about logistics and decisiveness. Timed chess is very reactionary and depends a lot on pattern recognition and the ability to consistently recognize and avoid disaster. That’s an oversimplification, of course, but I think it is telling that Napoleon is reputed to have been a third-rate chess player.
I’m curious to how she’ll react, this is the first time we’ve seen Frigg lose and not be restrained quickly after. (Unless the gnomes have some rhino net firing…gun…yeah.)
Are you sure, are you COMPLETELY sure, she lost?
From the details that doesn’t seem to be (her) king; although it could be a rook that he just captured, placing her into check. And mate.
The hilarious part is that nobody seems to be noticing how utterly idiotic the use of chess as an adulthood ritual is. For one thing, say some chess prodigy kid comes along and wins a game. Is he a man, then? WIth almost no life experience? For that matter, win a game? Against whom?
@ SaltyKracka: I figured since it involved gnomes, logic was right out.
Frigg hasn’t needed to use much strategy in the past, it’s true. But since chess is not just tactics but psychology as well – bluffing and intimidation seem to be something she’d be OK at. Perhaps better at poker than chess…
Am I the only one to notice that, as Frigg states it in the second panel, she only has to PLAY chess to make the gnomes quit their bitchin’, not necessarily WIN?
I don’t think Frigg is trying to weasel out of anything. She could have summed up the agreement accurately. Maybe one of the gnomes is a lousy chess player, and by beating her, he can finally become an adult.
Hm… here’s a wacky idea: Frigg falls in love with chess, impressing the gnomes with her tenacity and enthusiasm, if not her wit. Thus, she ends up smoothing diplomatic relations after all.
I have a question: what if Bandit won a chess match?
Or are gnome women not allowed to play chess?
And if they aren’t, how come Frigg’s allowed to? Because she’s human, or because she has biceps big enough to pop their little gnome heads like melons if they’re put in a headlock?
That’s all? Wow, if I was a Gnomish child, I’d rig up a game against someone mentally deficient. Or I’d spike my opponent’s drink. Or I’d bring one of those funny Venezuelan horns and play it while they planned their move. Come on, Frig! When at a loss, cheat!
Discussion (53) ¬
The brown haired gnome in the 3rd panel looks like Byron and Gravedust had a baby. Just saying. *cough cough*
HA! He totally does.
He doesn’t squint enough. Obviously Gravedust abandoned him due to this.
Oh the implications…. sooooo horrible
Frigg might start liking it. If she gave it a spin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_boxing
I don’t like either of those. I don’t suppose Articulate-Lacrosse exists?
This is brilliant. Old boxers aren’t always that much slower, but they are that much more brain damaged! Clash of the Titans type matches must be hilarious.
OHHHHHH MYYYYYY GOD. I JUST FOUND MY NEW SPORT.
I thought of that too! Strange minds think alike, I suppose.
Come on Frigg, do it! Rage Quit!
Hey, maybe beneath Frigg’s anti-intellectual, brutal, combative exterior she’s a real Beth Harmon.
But probably not.
Given how short they are, I suppose they’ve got to have some way to distinguish the children from the adults.
so how do the horsies move again?
In a big L shape! *Glances in Frigg’s direction*
Reminds me of Marlowe’s line in The Big Sleep with a chess problem on the table and a naked girl problem in his bed.
This isn’t a game for knights.
Wow, it took the Lollipop Guildmaster an entire minute to checkmate Frigg? What, is he drunk or something? Frigg hits things. She’s a thing-hitter. A simple Fucktard’s Gambit should CM her in, like, two moves.
She might have more success with Extreme Chess(tm). Instead of players making one move per turn, each player rolls a d6 for each turn, and whoever rolled higher makes as many moves as the difference. Black 6, White 4 = Black moves twice. Black 4, White 1 = Black moves three times. Black 1, White 5 = White moves four times. You can force checkmate without your opponent ever moving if you roll right, and even a lousy player can demolish a master if they have better luck on the die.
Well…either now she loses her cool for real, and trashes the joint…forcing the tower to be rebuilt to the gnomes’ delight and the boss’s despair…
Or, she sit there and plays chess until she figures out all the tactics, and beats the guy soundly.
Chess is, technically, a war-game…it’s all about tactics and troop movements, boiled down into the simple pieces and moves.
Tactics = fighter (and crusader) … right?
Sorta. But does Frigg strike you as tactical or meat-shield? Her tactics seem to invole “beat it ’til it don’t move no more”. I’m not implying that she’s stupid, just not schooled in that arena. It’s why we have Byron.
Involve. Not invole. Whee. Need coffeeeeeeee.
She strikes me as a tactical-nuke.
“Or, she sit there and plays chess until she figures out all the tactics, and beats the guy soundly.”
Nah. Warfare is often ultimately about logistics and decisiveness. Timed chess is very reactionary and depends a lot on pattern recognition and the ability to consistently recognize and avoid disaster. That’s an oversimplification, of course, but I think it is telling that Napoleon is reputed to have been a third-rate chess player.
I’m curious to how she’ll react, this is the first time we’ve seen Frigg lose and not be restrained quickly after. (Unless the gnomes have some rhino net firing…gun…yeah.)
Are you sure, are you COMPLETELY sure, she lost?
From the details that doesn’t seem to be (her) king; although it could be a rook that he just captured, placing her into check. And mate.
generally it’s the winner who says checkmate.
Yeah…
I heard Frigg’s a member of the Chuck Norris chess club: http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/4549/chucknorrischessclubbyp.jpg
best two out of three?
I don’t know if the timing was intentional, but Saturday was National Chess Day (in the United States).
Capturing the opposing king is an illegal move.
Chess is more strategy than tactics.
Chess often relies heavily on psychology.
The hilarious part is that nobody seems to be noticing how utterly idiotic the use of chess as an adulthood ritual is. For one thing, say some chess prodigy kid comes along and wins a game. Is he a man, then? WIth almost no life experience? For that matter, win a game? Against whom?
Yes. As opposed to all of the perfectly rational real life adulthood rituals.
Like… I am just turned fourteen. Therefore, Today I Am A Man. Send in the whores, Uncle Ira!
Good enough for me!
He said AT LEAST one game. That implies that there are circumstances beyond a single game of chess.
they say that you’re not a man until you bed a woman.
or buy your first car.
or start shaving.
or kill a laser shark.
Of course, a big problem with the laser shark is that their first attack is to shoot off their foe’s genitals.
The objectives are chronological because of this issue. :P
I like it, it means only the smart people get to be adults.
No, it means only the people who are good at chess get to be adults…
@ SaltyKracka: I figured since it involved gnomes, logic was right out.
Frigg hasn’t needed to use much strategy in the past, it’s true. But since chess is not just tactics but psychology as well – bluffing and intimidation seem to be something she’d be OK at. Perhaps better at poker than chess…
*shrug* Still fun to read
Am I the only one to notice that, as Frigg states it in the second panel, she only has to PLAY chess to make the gnomes quit their bitchin’, not necessarily WIN?
I don’t think Frigg is the type to use words to weasel her way through problems. :\
I do see her trying to brute force her way IN chess… to no avail of course.
I don’t think Frigg is trying to weasel out of anything. She could have summed up the agreement accurately. Maybe one of the gnomes is a lousy chess player, and by beating her, he can finally become an adult.
Finally someone else sees the obvious.
Chess is about Tactics, something that Frigg, as a Crusader, should be awesome at.
She lost on purpose, to end the argument.
“Tramplable” is a fascinating word.
I heard this in your voice…. Epic :3
it’s not nice to label tramps.
Hm… here’s a wacky idea: Frigg falls in love with chess, impressing the gnomes with her tenacity and enthusiasm, if not her wit. Thus, she ends up smoothing diplomatic relations after all.
Or not, but it’s fun imagining!
Especially once she realizes that chess actually represents a bloody battle between two armies.
I have a question: what if Bandit won a chess match?
Or are gnome women not allowed to play chess?
And if they aren’t, how come Frigg’s allowed to? Because she’s human, or because she has biceps big enough to pop their little gnome heads like melons if they’re put in a headlock?
If Bandit won a chess match she would be considered no longer a child in the eyes of Gnomish society.
Males tend to use male-specific pronouns when talking about non-specific hypothetical people.
Then has Bandit “stolen” a victory? :D
Don’t hit me.
That’s all? Wow, if I was a Gnomish child, I’d rig up a game against someone mentally deficient. Or I’d spike my opponent’s drink. Or I’d bring one of those funny Venezuelan horns and play it while they planned their move. Come on, Frig! When at a loss, cheat!