New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
splande gets shot with an arrow possesed by the righteously vengeful spirit of his dead father and is found hours later sans wallet.
frig makes one too many short jokes and om-gnome-gnome puns, is forced to kill the entire gnomish academy when they finally snap and attack her.
byron and syrnge have a very akward first date, ends with byron oblivious to syrnge’s feelings for him. (yes, i have given up placing that apostrophe)
taking all bets.
I’ll see that bet and raise you the following:
Splande is, after much suspense and a couple crazy plans, dealt with peacefully, but only after much bickering between Gravedust and Bandit, after which the Bandit earns Dust’s trust. (Whoops, rhyme.)
Syr’nj (Damn that hard to spell punny name) and Byron end up helping Frig dress up nicely and prepare for the meeting. She ends successfully learning to act all fancy, only for, in the end, for it to be revealed that the gnomes like her brutish, uncouth behaviour more. Oh, and, of course, while she’s at the meeting, Syr’nj and Byron go on that awkward first date. But Byron’s not oblivious, it’s just that neither of them know how to express themselves romantically.
I counter that with the Splande quest ending up with a chase scene during a bit of theatre that ends with massive explosions and overall destruction *but* it will be enjoyed by the nobles there and they’ll get praises from the nobility as in accordance with the theory of narrative causality.
Frigg talks to the smartypants shorties and helps them bring out the real purpose of science. Making things blow up. Frigg then gets a mechanoexplodoclub that causes explosions whenever she hits things.
Learning the interests of the common Gastonian gets our two leader types totally crunk because one of the interests of the common Gastonian is drinking. Then Byron starts beating the shit out of Gastonians because, y’know, the common Gastonian is kind of a dick to wood elves.
Ideally all three storylines will converge in the finale of the Splande quest.
the splande quest will probably end in an assassination in the theater, and they have the hunting knife and ranged weapon analogs
I totally figured out the joke, and I think Splande is going to get the best of the team, at least initially.
What kind of name is “Splande”, anyways? :P
You know, it’s going to take place at a theatre house, right? There’s always the chance that Gravedust and Bandit will end up on stage and will have to improvise to go along with the show.
aw man, I didn’t think of that, that’s hillarious.
I hope as much of this upcoming scene as possible takes inspiration from final fantasy six.
I like your Lincoln ref. ;)
Hmmm. Something tells me that our dear elf and the ‘zerker are going to have the hardest time of it, what with that innocuous set-up…
Whereas I predict Lord Moustache’s singling out of Byron and Syr’nj for praise will cause dissent within their band.
….He sends the bitchqueen with a mouth to do diplomacy with gnomes…. after she’s had a few nights of short jokes at Bandit’s expense…
Yeah… he hates gnomes…
And he basically just said ‘screw off and go sit on your arses’ to the two with any chance in hell of getting either job done correctly… he obviously wants them ALL to fail miserably so he can write them off/get them killed.
I eagerly await the total and complete refusal to obey orders exactly as given on the parts of all ^-^
looks like someone’s delibrately splitting the party and setting them up to get killed.
Nah, it’s just your standard Sidequest hour in the gaming session. Not every minute can be a dungeon crawl, got to have some R in your PG.
Methinks Byron smells a rat.
Yeah. Something is amiss. I smell setups.
Also, a barbarian with restraint? Byron, you’re the worst barbarian ever. (That was his character concept wasn’t it.)
I think the big twist will be that he isn’t really a full-fledged berserker. He probably became one to avenge the destruction of his hometown, or something. I think he’s more of a ‘fighter’ type than ‘berserker’.
If Byron doesn’t flip out into a barbarian rage at some point, I will.
this is what happens when a fighter multi-classes with a barbarian
Personally, I reckon “Brian the Berserker” is just a name he’s given himself to make it easier to sell his services.
“Brian the Cool, Calm and Collected Axeman” would be a more accurate name, but who would hire an adventurer called that?
Oh shit, Frig does not look happy.
“You lookin’ at my woman?”
I predict Frigg is going to chuck a Gnom
Oof, that’s quite a look Byron’s getting from Frigg. To his credit, he looks about as skeptical as she does. Syr’nj looks a little too happy with the praise, guess she’s not realizing this could be a a problem.
It’s not the praise she’s happy about, it’s getting a chance to get to know the interests of the common Gastonian, since it’s directly related to her personal goals.
Interests of the Common Gastonian (Homo Vulgaris)
-Throwing rocks at elves
-Cutting down trees
Well, the first choice was sound, Sir Facial Hair, but the second one? I hope the gnomes end up being a rowdy bunch, or else you just don’t care about this at all.
Also, of note, is Byron shooting Frig a sympathetic look, or is he checking Syr’nj out? ‘Cause his eyes are aimed straight at the elf’s chest.
Might be a good call. I can imagine the gnomes being mad scientists, with huge emphasis on the mad. Maybe they and Frigg will get along famously.
Or maybe she’ll break their tiny necks. Can’t wait to find out!
Not everyone is as obsessed with elf-boobies as GA’s commenters seem to be.
…He’s clearly keepin’ an eye on Frigg to make sure she doesn’t kick the door off its hinges on her way out to go to her Sensitivity Training.
Frankly, I think he’s watching to see if Frigg will actually open the envelope to read her orders, or if she’s going to ask Dusty once Sir Pen’cyldyck is out of the room.
Haters gon’ hate.
Hey, it’s a very old and honorable Welsh/Dutch name.
Much better than Sir Milord Pornstache, which happens to be a deadly insult in Shit Elvish.
I thought the big insult in Shit Elvish was “we’re a lot alike.”
Anyways, sorry, but Sir Nagsalot hasn’t seemed to endear himself to the reader base yet. I mean, some of us seem to like the ‘stache, but that’s about it. If he ends up doing something badass and redeeming himself for being such a whiny jerk, though, I’ll certainly have no complaints.
I think the idea is to give them difficult tasks rather than easy ones. – If they were going for easy, they’d have given the gnome quest to the gnome and the dwarf, who both show quite a lot of empathy for gnome people, rather than the mad crusader who calls them midgets.
The baron has some splandein’ to do
Baron Splande is the most awesome name that has appeared in this comic yet.
I thought of that pun, too, but had no idea on how well it could be implemented. And whether or not I personally like the name will depend on the Baron’s character. I personally hope he ends up being like the “Most Interesting Man in the World”, off of those alcohol commercials.
I’m detecting Friggish resentment.
We totally made the “dressing sharply” pun already.
Buut… to be fair, we made every pun possible about axe shoulders.
I’d head back to check, but I haft to say I don’t think I could handle that kind of cutting wit.
Eh, I guess taste of humor has this readership split in two. Maybe puns are a bit too edgy for you?
Cut it out guys. I’m pretty sure somebody has already sliced these puns before you.
this is my grandfather’s pun. my father replaced the lead-up, and i replaced punchline, this is my grandfather’s pun.
There’s no such thing as a Discworld quote that is too obscure.
Not Discworld. The axe joke is from “Hercules my Shipmate” by Robert Graves.
I expect Gravedust and Bandit to succeed. They have the proper espionage skills for the task.
I see Frigg’s assignment being a problem, though. Unless, of course, gnomes LIKE getting beaten over the head.
Though I can sympathize with Byron a bit, he has that look I used to get when *I* ruined the curve for the rest of the class *wink*
The berserker showed restraint?
Honestly, in this comic, that’s not only plausible, but more than likely… compared to some of our other adventurers…
Putting Frigg in a room full of potentially breakable/exploding objects? This man is off his coconut.
“Thank you, Milord Stache, for solving the Gnome Question so handily. Now, as for the Theatre Problem…”
Frigg’s a Crusader – a holy zealot.
Mixing Hard-Headed-Religion and Mad-Science?
Byron and Syr’nj conveniently decide that the ideal way to gauge the average Gastonian will somehow take them directly into the paths of both of the other quests. The storyline climaxes at the opera house with all of them geared with some “samples” the gnomes brought to their meeting with Frigg.
Shoulder Axes – though probably just a shout out to how We The Commenters refer to Byron’s Pauldrons of Power – may actually come into play.
Awww shizzz, I seriously lol’d at the alt-text!
Here’s the truth, Syr’nj’s expression in the last panel makes me want to punch her in the face.
You are the average Gastonian!
Hey, no one punches like Gastonians.
No one spits or bites like Gastonians either XD
it was only a matter of time.
I instantly thought of this strip and proceeded to sing.
Prediction: Byron and Syr’nj’s mission ends in enough racism that we actually see Byron go berserk.
Also, the sum total of the after-mission report is “Gastonians are dicks.”
“Gastonians are an Honest People, who believe in expressing their Opinions and Feelings freely. This is based upon their Native Understanding of their Innate Superiority, and their Manifest Destiny to spread their Law, Culture and Rule across the Land.”
“Like I said. Gastonians are dicks.”
Does this mean we’ll see Bandit get all fancy and Gravedust look, um, less like he lives in a boxcar?
A boxcar would be FAR too much luxury for Dusty.
A splintered wooden bench in the park, then.
So the baron is a gnome who works in the theater distrct making special effects. He’s been stealing parts and kidnapping members of the academy to work on his special project, a giant mechanical suit powered by souls of the dead. Queue fight scene!
Oh, and Byron reveals touching personal history about his dead family and Syn reveals that she has trouble telling humans apart
Awww, Syr’s all giddy with contentment. :3
Irrelevant sitely nitpick — I just noticed that the title of the webpage (the thing that appears at the top of the window” says “Chapter 6 – Page 7.”
I wonder if there’s a phantom in that theater.
Oh, someone REALLY wants to have trouble sprout up multiple places at the same time!
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