New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
Okay, I don’t care what others may think: I am in LOVE with Payet Best now. *laughing so hard at every line*
And we can all laughingly point out the lines which had Best hard.
> I am in LOVE with Payet Best now.
Does that mean you’re his mother?
Well, when I was on vacation in Arkerra years ago, I ordered some roast bawkbagok from a takeout tavern, and the delivery boy was this really hunky shit elf who…OMG. 0_0
Huh, Best’s mommy issues are showing. I wonder if this holds true for his “player.”
Best clearly has a emo band and has songs to the tune of “Mommy why?/Why did you have to die?/You left me all alone/inside this broken, this empty home”
Best always had mommy issues, see also .
Welp, I completely screwed that up. Anyway, this page => http://guildedage.net/webcomic/chapter-1/chapter-1-page-18/
My Freudian sense is thingling.
I don’t see it. It’s just Payet doing what he does Breast.
we’re going to milk this topic for all its worth aren’t we
This comic is practically dairy us to.
It’s our best and butter.
this thread went bust pretty fast.
Thats a phallacy and you know it.
I live in sphere of the puns….
Well, not really. Maybe Best has Mommy on his mind because it’s cold in the desert at night. You know…a little nipply.
We truly are crème de la crème of society.
You’re all a bunch of boobs.
Are we making tits of ourselves?
Maybe we are, but then mammary we aren’t.
No, no, the original works, er… best.
This is the mother of all bad jokes.
erect…! I mean, objection!
Vengeance for dinner, loyalty for desert followed by Freudian indigestion. Wonder what’s gonna poop out of that one.
Oh and “Winner, winner, chicken diner!”. :P
Why are you so amazing?
He sold his soul for rock’n'roll.
I wonder what the Arkerran equivalent to the (now-defunct) “Rate My Poo” site is?
Grade my Googe? Tag my Turd? Score my Scat? Assess my Argol? Rank my Rectal-Discharge?
I think scat might be the most popular word choice.
Score My Scat. :D
Top 10 scat videos and what they mean politically.
So loyalty tastes like giant chicken?
No, but giant chickens taste like loyalty!
Well, OK, they actually taste like chicken.
Everything taste like chicken!
(oh great, someone broke the matrix)
“Momma, is that you? Why are you standing in front of that cave?”
I keep wanting to hate Best… and then this crap happens and I just enjoy the horrifically bad banter.
Damn you writers, how could you force me to love the sucky guy? :P
because they’re ****ing masters.
Best has mommy issues.
No shocker there.
I always placed it as Daddy myself.
I always thought of Best as a bit of a motherfucker.
I’d give you a star for that.
I love you.
You sir, win one internets.
I blame pokemon but my first thought at the Ghastly + Figure = It would fit Gengar more for it’s bipedal quality.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thought of the pokemon at that. What has it done to my vocabulary!?!?!
*hums the theme song*
Which season? And it is Japanese or English? I still hold that Mezase Pokémon Masutā is the catchiest of them. /nerd
I’m not a fan of the Japanese themes.
Also, Italy has their own themes, separate from everyone else (whereas most countries use the english theme translated to their language). They’re generally terrible
Red/Blue theme, Game Boy.
I haven’t been thinking about anything BUT Pokémon for the past 72 hours.
Well, a Ghast is a type of undead creature.
From which we derive our term “ghastly”. (adj., “possessing the appearance of a dead thing”)
The first thing I thought of was “WHO’S THAT POKEMON?!”
Loyalty is a taste now? Huh. You learn something every day. I wonder if you could bottle it and sell it.
New line of sipping sauses. Loyalty, cleverness, promiscuity, we’ll be billionaires!
As long as you don’t get loyalty and promiscuity mixed up, anyway.
Not a fan of fusion cooking, are you? :P
BAM! That’ll turn it up a notch!
*takai* Oh my….
Never know. Could be fun.
Well, if loyalty tastes like chicken, what does treason taste like?
And, if vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Gah. The rest of that should have been “no, that’s only PB.” but I used the wrong brackets. /oops/
“Bottled Loyalty” now on sale! It won’t make those followers any less likely to stab you in the back, but it WILL make their charred remains taste DELICIOUS.
Ghost: “About damn time!”
“Now, all I need from you is….
Damnit monster, get off my lawn! I ain’t giving you no tree-fiddy!
I gave him a dollar.
You may want to keep those Freudian thoughts to yourself there Best…
But Best is a sharer!
There’s a typo at the bottom of he page. Do i remember incorrect or wasn’t John’s surname “Waltrip”?
..aaand i really learn to double-check for my own typos.
Aw, the occasional failure to capitalize oneself is a forgivable flaw.
Call it humility :)
You are correct, swordsister. Thank you for noticing.
Get back in your cave, John.
A wild Gastly appeared!
Gastly was soooo first gen. It’s all about the Axew now.
It’s all about Whimsicott, actually. Prankster is the greatest ability to come out since Wonder Guard.
Payet, just be sure not to cave into whatever shenanigans the ghost has to offer.
I think you are Stalacrite about that.
Don’t be ridiculous. A proper adventurer never turns down a quest. Never. No matter how suspicious, morally ambiguous, blatantly trapped or Pandora’s Boxy, it must be conquered.
Payet spent a week in Pandora’s Box…
I always think everything could be a trap.
That is why i am still alive.
Strive the the best, prepare for the worst.
No fear. On the hole, best is rock solid.
Sedimentary my dear Watson!
hmm. I could see Best writing an ode to Oedipus.
an oedipudian ode? most odius!
There once was a man named Oedipis Rex
You may have heard about his odd complex
His name appears in Freuds index
because he… loved his mother.
. . . because he wanted matriarchal sex?
His subjects used to say, quite a bit
that as a monarch he was most unfit
but still in all they had to admit
that he loved his mother. :)
If anyone misses the musical quote, it is of Tom Lehrer, a great parody musician.
Ahdok, I love you. Tom Lehrer is the best!
There once was a Greek they called Oedipus
About him, the better less soedipus
His father he deaded
His mother he wedded
When he found out, his face turned quite roedipus
You cannot be too cool for school if your vocabulary contains the word “Yipes”. Try “Blistering Blue Barnacles” or “Jinkies” instead.
Post the 15,000th Comment!
stop developing Best!
I like to rmember him as the douche that the comic is good without, but now you’re going and making him a 6th ranger with all this time spent on him, and charachter development…
ah well, we can still laught at him I suppose
I still can’t actually believe he’s the same character as before. Doesn’t look right. Substantial tweaks needed to reestablish former douche levels. Starting with eyes, I think.
Best has evolved from an ignoble shit elf to the “classy” douche he is today through self-delusion and obsessive devotion to his destiny. He has full-grown into his douche-hood, and we love to hate him for it, all the while he’s prettier than us.
I am loving Waltrip’s character design. He went from a Blackadder slouch to well… a douche trying to channel James Dean/Ziggy Stardust? The eyes, the ears, the hidden lightning bolts throughout his design; I have to like him, and I hate myself for it… you know, in a good way.
> …through self-delusion and obsessive devotion
> to his mother
Fixed it for you.
For all the 90′s kids out there, remember Tommy was a douche bag, then he became part of the team and then he was the Best one.
No, he never really changed. He was a douche the whole time. He just infected the others and made himself look better.
What? Is no one going to recognize the pun in the last panel?
It was a spirited effort.
alt text got it first :P
The rest of us didn’t even see the ghost of a chance this time.
I ex-spectre you’ll more soon enough.
I know it’s been done already. sorrysorrysorry
That’s all-wight, don’t let it haunt you.
if this is the same spirit that told Best to come out this way…
aha! they’ve added a Ghost Writer (in the sky)
Perhaps now the choco- Big bird is dead he could use the spirit as a mount?
I am going to send my friend who hates all puns to this page, and watch him die in an epileptic fit.
And in his own Personal Hell, the devil is Piers Anthony.
Not Robert Asprin?
It would be Tim Vine – given he holds world records for punning :) – if you don’t know Tim Vine, youtube should sort you out.
That’s the first time I’ve ever seen youtube referred to in a vaguely therapeutic way.
You evil, evil man. <3
Tell him that Norway is selling off large sections of it’s coastline because they can’t afjord the upkeep.
You are now my personal hero. Can I have some hair for a shrine?
To be honest, any page in this webcomic will qualify as pun-land. Have him archive binge it. He just may go into a coma.
Left a big fire still burning. Admittedly there doesn’t seem to be anything combustable around, but still a douchey thing to do… and dumb if you don’t want others to follow you. Although the giant chicken corpse may be a sign that you were there.
Of course, given Best, and the sort of folks following him, they’d pull up, see the fire, see the giant chicken corpse, and have some bbq.
Then they’d all die from the poison he tainted the corpse with.
Also, on the subject of douche-ality: he tosses aside the eaten bone, and we see absolutely no sign of him trying to preserve the bird.
So, people who were all “it makes sense to use the bird’s meat” … What ya gotta say now? The bastard basically decided to stop and eat JUST BECAUSE HE COULD. It doesn’t seem that he rested very long at all, either – in a “realistic” world he could reasonably be expected to sleep at least an hour or two to recover from the journey to get to the area, the flight, the fight, etc.
And that expression: the same as the one he wore when he ditched on that very first village. Pure douchery.
Just sayin’ – he ain’t eatin’ the bird to be smart. Only opportunistic.
oh come on, everyone knows the most meat you can harvest for a corpse is exactly enough for one meal, and the bird will fade to nothingness in half an hour or so.
Yeah, the bird probably only has one major organ, if that.
Yeah, the guy who was riding it.
How the heck is he supposed to preserve it? Summon Fridge? Can’t carry it around, that’s for sure.
Last update folks were mentioning smoking or drying the meat (as part of their opinion that Best was acting in a logical and tactically wise manner). Granted that that’s a time consuming effort and Best wouldn’t want to take a great deal of time. But, if this were anything other than an opportunistic feast, he’d have rested before going on – logically speaking he has every reason to need rest, if he believes this is reality. And while he’s resting he could have been preserving the OTHER drumstick, or something.
I’m aware that strips of meat would dry faster and better; the point I’m making is Best doesn’t even keep the saddle roll or any other supplies off the bird. He eats what he wants, takes his main equipment with him (i.e. his axe) and leaves. Now, that makes complete sense in a world where you know the bird is digital.
It still makes sense if Best is still fully into the “reality” of Arkerra. But it makes his actions less logical and more geared toward personal aggrandizement.
In a year maybe we’ll be able to come back through these archives and say “Oh, I see this meaning and that subtext” or something. That’d be nice.
I wonder is loyalty fried with a honey glaze, mash potatos and a side of waffles? If so LEMME GET THAT!!!
I wonder what that chicken SMELLS like…
Only in the morning….
…hmm did he cook it with napalm?
Best can cook without napalm?
If the ghost is all “Rez plz kthx” we’ll know it’s Frigg instead of Gravedust.
The best part was the pun on the alt text
Ahhh, Error in Panel 4:
He’s got one torch, held to the right and above his head, yet he casts two symmetrical shadows, one left, one right, which are at about the same height as his head … the continuity of this comic will be broken forever :(
Those aren’t shadows, they’re caves. Good looking out, though!
Ah! I thought one shadow was cast by the torch, and the other by the glare of his massive ego. Thanks for clearing that up!
Ghast! I didn’t expect you.
Okay, I’ll admit it. The piercings are hot.
He should use the leftover wing feathers as shoulder decorations in true glam rock fashion.
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