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New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

'What, like... now?'

Chapter 9 – Page 20

on March 11, 2011
Chapter: Chapter 09
└ Tags: Best, Ghost
Comments RSS

Discussion (184) ¬

  1. Math_Mage
    Math_Mage
    March 11, 2011, 12:05 am | # | Reply

    “But that’s, like, work. Couldn’t you have gotten some peasants to do that part?”

    • George
      George
      March 11, 2011, 12:09 am | # | Reply

      “This is not epic. I am epic. Thus, this is not for me.”

      • Snowblind
        Snowblind
        March 11, 2011, 12:11 am | # | Reply

        “There is an Epic Shovel in the corner there, get cracking!”

        • Novijen
          Novijen
          March 11, 2011, 12:23 am | # | Reply

          “Only if there is an epic reward afterwards. As in gold, women, and power, not confetti.”

        • Rognik
          Rognik
          March 11, 2011, 1:07 am | # | Reply

          An Epic Shovel of +5 digging? Do you know how rare those are? I’m gonna take it to the auction house right now!

          • Aboulic
            Aboulic
            March 11, 2011, 4:09 am | # | Reply

            Shovels are for lifting, not digging.
            Spades are for digging.
            This is inherited folk wisdom. A man looks forward to the day when his son confuses the two so he can give him the same lecture he got from his own father.

            • Zero
              Zero
              March 11, 2011, 6:40 am | # | Reply

              I received the same lecture. I had no idea it was so prevalent.

              • Phil
                Phil
                March 11, 2011, 8:46 am | # | Reply

                I thought spades were just the little hand-shovels you use in a garden.

                • Fozz
                  Fozz
                  March 11, 2011, 9:06 am | # | Reply

                  I thought five of them beat a pair.

                • Jim
                  Jim
                  March 11, 2011, 9:10 am | # | Reply

                  No, that’s a trowel.

                  • Snowblind
                    Snowblind
                    March 11, 2011, 9:59 am | # | Reply

                    Come on now, call a spade a spade.

                    • Locke
                      Locke
                      March 11, 2011, 9:50 pm | #

                      Hey, that’s racist!

                • ahdok
                  ahdok
                  March 11, 2011, 12:56 pm | # | Reply

                  A spade has a flat edge, a shovel has a rounded edge with a point. The tiny garden “shovels” are called trowels.

                  • dr pepper
                    dr pepper
                    March 11, 2011, 10:06 pm | # | Reply

                    Weird, i was always told the opposite. After all, card spades are pointed. And a trowel is flat, little gardern tools are spades.

                    • littlebeast
                      littlebeast
                      March 12, 2011, 3:15 am | #

                      What about shovelspades? And spadeshovels?

                    • Jean-Luc
                      Jean-Luc
                      March 12, 2011, 11:49 am | #

                      Best should just use spandex.

            • Mujaki
              Mujaki
              March 11, 2011, 7:10 am | # | Reply

              I thought spades were for playing on hearts or diamonds, keeping in mind the ranks must be played in descending order? You cannot play it on a club, nor another spade.

              • Caitlin
                Caitlin
                March 11, 2011, 7:16 am | # | Reply

                Maybe he should just get an Epic Backhoe and be done with spades and shovels.

              • barsukthom
                barsukthom
                March 11, 2011, 8:54 am | # | Reply

                Why aren’t Yorkshiremen any good at farming?

                Because whenever they get a spade, they spit on their hands.

                • Riotllama
                  Riotllama
                  March 11, 2011, 10:59 am | # | Reply

                  I don’t get it.

                • dr pepper
                  dr pepper
                  March 11, 2011, 10:07 pm | # | Reply

                  I think you mean why aren’t they any good at poker.

                  • barsukthom
                    barsukthom
                    March 12, 2011, 1:41 pm | # | Reply

                    Oh, …… Bad Word.

        • Pyrtolin
          Pyrtolin
          March 11, 2011, 1:04 pm | # | Reply

          Your barking up the wrong tree. Any kind of shovel would be mundane here. Give him a feather duster. Digging a hole with that would be epic.

    • Deets
      Deets
      March 13, 2011, 1:00 pm | # | Reply

      Bah, digging is beneath Best…

  2. Ronin
    Ronin
    March 11, 2011, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Not just content to be a douche, Best had upgraded to lazy douche.

    • Novijen
      Novijen
      March 11, 2011, 12:25 am | # | Reply

      Best has always been lazy.

      • Beth Athena
        Beth Athena
        March 11, 2011, 5:00 pm | # | Reply

        I’m gonna have to differ on that- back in the beginning of his introduction, he -tried- to help out with the work, and nobody would let him because they thought he was the prophecy hero.

    • gangler
      gangler
      March 11, 2011, 12:33 am | # | Reply

      Dude, he’s an adventurer. Killing hordes of evil, stopping dark conspiracies, plundering ancient ruins, these are things he’s typically asked to do.

      Digging isn’t a quest, it’s a minimum wage job.

      • Ishmael
        Ishmael
        March 11, 2011, 10:20 pm | # | Reply

        And he only has an axe on hand.

        • gangler
          gangler
          March 12, 2011, 7:44 am | # | Reply

          If that axe functions as a digging instrument it will officially be the most utilitarian axe ever.

  3. alicemacher
    alicemacher
    March 11, 2011, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Maybe you can make an epic heavy metal song about it, Payet.

    • Dusty668
      Dusty668
      March 11, 2011, 2:08 am | # | Reply

      Already happened.
      “Ima workin in a coal mine goin down down,
      Workin in a coal mine, Oh I gotta get down!”

      • alicemacher
        alicemacher
        March 11, 2011, 2:33 am | # | Reply

        If I had the authority, I’d give you a celestial body of the golden variety for that.

        • Mujaki
          Mujaki
          March 11, 2011, 7:20 am | # | Reply

          You load sixteen tons, what do you get?
          Another day older and deeper in debt.
          Saint Peter, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go.
          I owe my soul to the company store.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUpTJg2EBpw

          • barsukthom
            barsukthom
            March 11, 2011, 8:55 am | # | Reply

            Tears. Tears in my eyes. Manly tears.

          • LurkingTroll
            LurkingTroll
            March 11, 2011, 11:26 am | # | Reply

            Ah, “Tennessee” Ernie Ford. Used to have his own television show. Phenomenally deep singing voice, excellent range and sustain, incredible resonant power… as opposed to his nasal, kind of girly speaking voice.

            And he’s still seven thousand times MORE awesome than Best.

            Payet! Get your stupid stink-elf carcass moving, and DIG!

      • Hawk
        Hawk
        March 11, 2011, 9:01 am | # | Reply

        <3

  4. Fairportfan
    Fairportfan
    March 11, 2011, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Not the brightest candle in the box, eh?

  5. Novijen
    Novijen
    March 11, 2011, 12:25 am | # | Reply

    Ah, poor Best. I doubt the ground will be swayed by your gentle melodies and awesome riffs to spit back up our treasure.

    • Malificus
      Malificus
      March 11, 2011, 12:31 am | # | Reply

      I dunno, Best has caused an absurdly localized and accurate cave-in with his music.

      He may be able to pierce the earth with the power of ROCK.

      • barsukthom
        barsukthom
        March 11, 2011, 8:55 am | # | Reply

        Now he needs to pierce it with the power of SHOVEL.

        • A passer-by.
          A passer-by.
          March 11, 2011, 11:02 am | # | Reply

          Spade, not shovel. Pay attention to prior discussions, m’lad.

          Spades are the ones with the pointy end, to make it easy to pierce hard ground. Shovels are the wide ones, which tend to have a flat end and higher sides, so that the shit one picks up with them does not fall off.

          • barsukthom
            barsukthom
            March 11, 2011, 11:38 am | # | Reply

            garden shovel. snow shovel. both dig.
            But you are correct, they do have flat ends.
            Besides, we start bandying Spade around, folks are gonna start making cheap detective puns.

            • centuriancode
              centuriancode
              March 11, 2011, 11:26 pm | # | Reply

              But the Diggers only fought along side the Tommies, not the Sammies!

          • dr pepper
            dr pepper
            March 11, 2011, 10:10 pm | # | Reply

            Correct, A passer-by.

  6. Malificus
    Malificus
    March 11, 2011, 12:25 am | # | Reply

    I think this is a reasonable reaction. If Best does indeed dig it up, there is no douchyness here that I see.

    Stories don’t have heroes stop and dig out holes in the ground. When something lies far beneath the earth, the must travel through dangerous caves. Not grab a shovel and get at it. Being a bard, he would be well informed of such cliches, and likely expecting them.

    • gangler
      gangler
      March 11, 2011, 1:04 am | # | Reply

      Indeed.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      March 11, 2011, 1:09 am | # | Reply

      Not to mention that remote caves usually have traps and/or monsters guarding an object sitting right out in the open. Who buries mystical relics in a cave?

    • Fren
      Fren
      March 11, 2011, 8:04 am | # | Reply

      Dunno … read Band of Brothers sometime. They dug a lot of holes. Different sort of story, but heroes nonetheless.

      • barsukthom
        barsukthom
        March 11, 2011, 8:56 am | # | Reply

        Yeah, but those were REAL heroes. Not plundering cowboys.

      • gangler
        gangler
        March 12, 2011, 12:02 am | # | Reply

        I cannot even begin to describe the way in which a gritty quasi-realistic depiction of modern warfare does not lend itself towards parallels with the black and white world of fantasy fiction where a single individual is given a noble quest that will save the world from a force of absolute evil.

        If I were to try something basic, the first is based on the principle of cutting out as little as possible, whereas the second quite literally cuts everything that isn’t “Epic quest” “Team Formation” and such.

        • gangler
          gangler
          March 12, 2011, 12:03 am | # | Reply

          *ways

      • Mr.5
        Mr.5
        March 15, 2011, 6:20 am | # | Reply

        same thing in Digger, digging holes and questing for destiny go hand in hand

  7. swordsister
    swordsister
    March 11, 2011, 12:28 am | # | Reply

    ..so those caves are actually graves of our original five?

    • alicemacher
      alicemacher
      March 11, 2011, 12:32 am | # | Reply

      “Oh hey, it’s coming back to me… I pwned this one… almost did this one, but got cock-blocked…”

      • swordsister
        swordsister
        March 11, 2011, 12:38 am | # | Reply

        ahem…”boxblocked”?

        • Loyal
          Loyal
          March 11, 2011, 12:54 am | # | Reply

          If the GUY’S getting boxblocked there may be certain concerns to address.

          • alicemacher
            alicemacher
            March 11, 2011, 12:58 am | # | Reply

            Yeah, I could be wrong but I always understood “cockblocked” to mean “the guy’s cock being blocked,” not “the woman getting blocked from the guy’s cock.” (Pardon my vulgarity.)

            • Jean-Luc
              Jean-Luc
              March 11, 2011, 4:14 am | # | Reply

              Coxblocked?

              • that guy
                that guy
                March 11, 2011, 4:23 am | # | Reply

                Bloxcocked?

                • Phil
                  Phil
                  March 11, 2011, 8:48 am | # | Reply

                  Blocksclock?

                  • barsukthom
                    barsukthom
                    March 11, 2011, 8:57 am | # | Reply

                    Fox in sox come?

                    No, wait…

                    • alicemacher
                      alicemacher
                      March 11, 2011, 11:17 am | #

                      Oshkoshbegosh? No.

                  • Karishi
                    Karishi
                    March 11, 2011, 9:16 am | # | Reply

                    I believe Best would tell you she was being overclocked.

                  • Valdrax
                    Valdrax
                    March 12, 2011, 1:54 am | # | Reply

                    Susan?

        • Pyrtolin
          Pyrtolin
          March 11, 2011, 1:06 pm | # | Reply

          Cer-vexed.

          • Phil
            Phil
            March 11, 2011, 1:10 pm | # | Reply

            Gold Star.

            • Hawk
              Hawk
              March 11, 2011, 8:11 pm | # | Reply

              ./applause

          • alicemacher
            alicemacher
            March 11, 2011, 9:39 pm | # | Reply

            Hee hee! I’ll have to remember that.

    • Chevalion
      Chevalion
      March 11, 2011, 11:27 pm | # | Reply

      After the round of puns, I think you’re correct: There are indeed 5 hills, with a total of 5 caves, for a total of 5 heroes. Knowing that, is Best un-Earthing something or someone?

      • gangler
        gangler
        March 12, 2011, 8:46 am | # | Reply

        They never got killed. This is all building up to the most elaborate april fools joke ever.

        • Jean-Luc
          Jean-Luc
          March 12, 2011, 11:50 am | # | Reply

          Now that you said it…

  8. Hoo-ya
    Hoo-ya
    March 11, 2011, 12:32 am | # | Reply

    “But… but I just ATE!”

  9. Carl-E
    Carl-E
    March 11, 2011, 12:32 am | # | Reply

    [spooky voice] If we spirits could dig it up ourselves, do you really think we’d have called on YOU?!? [/spooky voice]

  10. Sam
    Sam
    March 11, 2011, 12:37 am | # | Reply

    …. goddammit, Best.

  11. Doma
    Doma
    March 11, 2011, 12:47 am | # | Reply

    He has people for that.

    • barsukthom
      barsukthom
      March 11, 2011, 11:39 am | # | Reply

      He used to have people for that. Then he ate them.

  12. Alma
    Alma
    March 11, 2011, 12:50 am | # | Reply

    Why do I not hate him? It doesn’t make any sense.

  13. JK9000
    JK9000
    March 11, 2011, 1:02 am | # | Reply

    Don’t be such a pansy, Best. Major archeological digs are a single-second cast with only three seconds on cooldown, and whatever you’re looking for is always just underneath the topsoil.

  14. Surge
    Surge
    March 11, 2011, 1:03 am | # | Reply

    I’m going to go ahead and guess that he’s digging up either

    A. The bodies of our heroes.
    Or
    B. An artifact to resurrect our heroes.

    And by guess I mean hope.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      March 11, 2011, 1:16 am | # | Reply

      I’d be really surprised if they’re buried this fast. Then again, we don’t know how long has passed from the suicide mission to Best’s mass-orgy.

      • Fren
        Fren
        March 11, 2011, 8:07 am | # | Reply

        Considering who killed them, I’d be surprised if they were buried at all. My guess, their bodies were boiled in a pot until the flesh sloughed off and the bones were used to adorn various bits of wall.

        • Fren
          Fren
          March 11, 2011, 8:07 am | # | Reply

          But then again, we’ve verified that this isn’t our world, so … probably no corpses to deal with.

  15. Locke
    Locke
    March 11, 2011, 1:33 am | # | Reply

    In reality, the phantom is the ghost of Ashton Kutcher. This is the greatest prank of all time.

    • sprocket
      sprocket
      March 11, 2011, 1:44 am | # | Reply

      Along those lines…. this is the ghost winning.

      • Melon
        Melon
        March 11, 2011, 2:39 am | # | Reply

        So… Charlie Sheen is casted as the ghost?

        • ahdok
          ahdok
          March 11, 2011, 3:44 am | # | Reply

          yeah I’m on drugs… they’recalledCHARLIESHEEN… but you can’t get that stuff nonono.

          • Locke
            Locke
            March 11, 2011, 8:37 am | # | Reply

            Because it’d make your face EXPLODE, and children would WEEP over your smoking body. He makes Jagger and Richards look like droopy-eyed, armless children.

            • Snowblind
              Snowblind
              March 11, 2011, 10:13 am | # | Reply

              Chuck Norris sprinkles charlies drug all over his cereal in the morning.

              Gives his hair a nice Sheen.

              • Levinia
                Levinia
                March 11, 2011, 10:30 am | # | Reply

                Yellow Star!

                • Locke
                  Locke
                  March 11, 2011, 9:52 pm | # | Reply

                  Pffft, who needs stars? I’ll give you a gold Charlie Sheen.

            • Jean-Luc
              Jean-Luc
              March 12, 2011, 11:50 am | # | Reply

              Is this ctrl-alt-del inspired?

              • Locke
                Locke
                March 13, 2011, 7:53 pm | # | Reply

                Naw, I dont read them. Hence why I didn’t make any jokes about abortions.

  16. Katlamos
    Katlamos
    March 11, 2011, 2:23 am | # | Reply

    “But… it’s dirt. Dirt is DIRTY. And besides, theses hands weren’t ment for manual labor. How am I supposed to keep the ladies and men happy if my hands become ruined from this… work?!”

  17. Bystander
    Bystander
    March 11, 2011, 2:32 am | # | Reply

    Really guys? I understand how Payet tends to be buried under loads of quest, but this is taking it a tad too literal. Well… regardless, it is rather Best’s fault for digging himself a hole this time.

    • barsukthom
      barsukthom
      March 11, 2011, 8:59 am | # | Reply

      Somebody’s got to do the dirty work, I guess they decided to find the Best man for the job.
      I’d loam him a shovel, but I don’t know where he’s been.

      • Chevalion
        Chevalion
        March 11, 2011, 11:28 pm | # | Reply

        Guess a shit-elf is the best candidate for ‘dirty work’ *chuckles*

        • Bystander
          Bystander
          March 12, 2011, 6:06 pm | # | Reply

          That’s the spirit! Payet’s attitude needed to be more down to earth.

  18. Magnor
    Magnor
    March 11, 2011, 2:44 am | # | Reply

    “Gah! If my hands weren’t ethereal I’d strangle you right now!”

  19. Lydia
    Lydia
    March 11, 2011, 3:24 am | # | Reply

    Bust out laughing at the spirit’s posture in the final panel.

    • alicemacher
      alicemacher
      March 13, 2011, 9:32 am | # | Reply

      Hee hee, me too. It reminds me of the “Grim Reaper” scene in Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life, where the Reaper finally manages to get the clueless socialites he’s come for out of the house. We see him from the back, leading the way, when one of the dead people suggests taking their cars. Cue car doors opening and closing, whereupon the Reaper abruptly stops short, as if thinking “WTF?”, then turns around and resignedly beckons them on, in their cars, into Heaven.

  20. ahdok
    ahdok
    March 11, 2011, 3:46 am | # | Reply

    Weird. Best approached tangentially, then turned a right angle.

    • Thom
      Thom
      March 11, 2011, 1:27 pm | # | Reply

      In the previous comic he was strolling through the tombs(?) and then the ghost caught his attention to his left, at which point I assume he made the turn we see in footprints here.

  21. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    March 11, 2011, 4:08 am | # | Reply

    I just dirt understand what the hole is going on in this comic.

    • Geigan
      Geigan
      March 11, 2011, 4:39 am | # | Reply

      I’m sure if you dig a little deeper you’ll undersand

    • Amaster
      Amaster
      March 11, 2011, 5:08 am | # | Reply

      *Facepalm*
      I think Picard would agree with me.

    • Mujaki
      Mujaki
      March 11, 2011, 7:24 am | # | Reply

      You really want to soil the joke with an explantation?

      • Geigan
        Geigan
        March 11, 2011, 8:35 am | # | Reply

        Peats me if it would further ground his knowledge or dust confuse him further. I shale just have to wait and see.

    • anonymous coward
      anonymous coward
      March 11, 2011, 7:59 am | # | Reply

      Plow through the recent strips and I am sure you can sift out what’s going on.

    • Flintte
      Flintte
      March 11, 2011, 8:35 am | # | Reply

      Real gneiss guys, real gneiss.
      Posting schist like this…*shakes head*
      Don’t worry though, I won’t think any loess of you.

      Sorry, I’m an Earth Science major, I’m legally required to make geology jokes wherever appropriate.

      • barsukthom
        barsukthom
        March 11, 2011, 9:00 am | # | Reply

        It’s true. They have to make a solemn vow upon the underlying strata of their mother… Earth.

      • Hawk
        Hawk
        March 11, 2011, 9:04 am | # | Reply

        And also where not appropriate.

        Do you pick up girls by telling them they’re spathic?

        • barsukthom
          barsukthom
          March 12, 2011, 1:45 pm | # | Reply

          And how he’s impressed by the movemnt along their fault lines.

          • solna
            solna
            March 12, 2011, 8:05 pm | # | Reply

            hanging on to that one…

    • Locke
      Locke
      March 11, 2011, 8:44 am | # | Reply

      Man, when I join punnings on this site late in the game, it makes me realize that I usually take the good puns for granite. Oh well, I can’t let it get me depressed, lest I chance it muddying my outlook on life.

      • ahdok
        ahdok
        March 11, 2011, 1:03 pm | # | Reply

        just chalk it up to experience.

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        March 11, 2011, 2:55 pm | # | Reply

        What motherfucker was it that said puns weren’t funny? Just look at them. LOOK HOW FUNNY THEY ARE!

        • Locke
          Locke
          March 11, 2011, 9:55 pm | # | Reply

          Picard, you are fucking cursing at the wrong motherfucker, motherfucker. The fucking motherfucker that motherfucking said that fucking puns aren’t fucking funny is all the fucking way up there. Fuck.

          (Sorry, but once we turn the profanity valve on, I go all the way.)

          • Nicolas
            Nicolas
            March 12, 2011, 1:42 am | # | Reply

            You know… Except in a few divine or science influenced cases, in order to be a mother one must first be fucked. So why is it bad to be a mother fucker? It’s like, helping, right?

            Hence, calling someone a motherfucker implies that he got it right at least once. It shouldn’t be a swear word. It should be more like yelling Congratulations.

          • Jean-Luc
            Jean-Luc
            March 12, 2011, 5:47 am | # | Reply

            Holy potty mouth batman! :o

            • barsukthom
              barsukthom
              March 12, 2011, 1:47 pm | # | Reply

              There’s a mutha-humpin’ pottymouth on this mutha-humpin’ thread!

              • alicemacher
                alicemacher
                March 13, 2011, 9:45 am | # | Reply

                I’m tired of motherfucking snakes swears on this motherfucking page!

            • Locke
              Locke
              March 12, 2011, 10:43 pm | # | Reply

              I always wanted to see a version of Golden Age Robin with severe Tourettes… In fact, he probably had it. It’d explain the random exclamations.

      • Geigan
        Geigan
        March 11, 2011, 5:11 pm | # | Reply

        I admire your rock hard dedication to the uppercrust of comedy. I will try to keep my brittle attempts from undermining your fine grained examples. Furthermore I would like to wipe my slate clean and return once i’ve had time to dig up some new material.

        • barsukthom
          barsukthom
          March 12, 2011, 1:48 pm | # | Reply

          Do, please return once you’ve caught up to your quarry.

    • ahdok
      ahdok
      March 11, 2011, 12:58 pm | # | Reply

      glad to see you’re getting in at ground zero.

    • Thom
      Thom
      March 11, 2011, 1:31 pm | # | Reply

      Stop! All this punning is disturbing the earth!

      • Hawk
        Hawk
        March 11, 2011, 8:12 pm | # | Reply

        PUNQUAKE!

  22. Rook
    Rook
    March 11, 2011, 4:33 am | # | Reply

    I’m loving this mysterious spirit guy

  23. Fren
    Fren
    March 11, 2011, 8:09 am | # | Reply

    See, now we miss the Bwakba-chicken thing. Just haul out some gyshal greens and the bird takes care of the digginses.

    • Flintte
      Flintte
      March 11, 2011, 8:33 am | # | Reply

      I think it’s time for: THE CHOCOBO HOT AND COLD GAME!

      KWEHH??!?!

      • Locke
        Locke
        March 11, 2011, 8:44 am | # | Reply

        KWEH! *digging sound* KWEH!!

  24. flevine
    flevine
    March 11, 2011, 8:20 am | # | Reply

    “Looky-loo”? Why has Best been talking like Ned Flanders?

  25. Jedi
    Jedi
    March 11, 2011, 8:46 am | # | Reply

    Well he Best get to it.

  26. UnfoldedOrigami
    UnfoldedOrigami
    March 11, 2011, 9:03 am | # | Reply

    I do not think the prospect of having to dig is music to his ears… Best would rather shovel it to the Spirit, imo.

  27. Karishi
    Karishi
    March 11, 2011, 9:20 am | # | Reply

    If it turns out there’s no relic and this whole ghost-quest was a red herring, we’ll finally have our answer to the age-old question:
    How I mine for fish?

    • Phil
      Phil
      March 11, 2011, 9:54 am | # | Reply

      Gold Star.

  28. Soulwind
    Soulwind
    March 11, 2011, 9:33 am | # | Reply

    I thought stuff like this is why god created hirelings?

    • Ishmael
      Ishmael
      March 11, 2011, 10:25 pm | # | Reply

      That could be why Best is there. After all, he started off as a stableboy, ended up a hero by accident… Maybe he’s an epic-level hireling by now?

      • Hawk
        Hawk
        March 12, 2011, 3:55 pm | # | Reply

        Oh, nice. I like that quite a lot. :D

  29. ahdok
    ahdok
    March 11, 2011, 12:59 pm | # | Reply

    “Why won’t you help me dig up the artefact o great spirit?”

    “Mine your own business!”

    • Jim
      Jim
      March 13, 2011, 8:15 am | # | Reply

      Nah, it’s just not in his union contract.

  30. Gillsing
    Gillsing
    March 11, 2011, 1:22 pm | # | Reply

    I hope he brought a spade, otherwise he’ll have to go all the way back to town and buy one. Because that’s how these things work.

    And he’d better constrain his epicness and not dig too deep, or the giant fire demon will get him!

    • Blogonomicon
      Blogonomicon
      March 11, 2011, 9:58 pm | # | Reply

      Don’t worry, you only get to have Fun with the Clowns if you hit the Circus by digging through the Cotton Candy.

  31. BanditoWalrus
    BanditoWalrus
    March 11, 2011, 1:28 pm | # | Reply

    Well, now he’s in Minecraft. :P

    • ahdok
      ahdok
      March 12, 2011, 6:37 am | # | Reply

      Oh man, it’s going to take forever to find some gold, and gold is useless

  32. FoolishOwl
    FoolishOwl
    March 11, 2011, 1:54 pm | # | Reply

    Speculation: what he finds will not be the usual sword of plot advancement. Instead, it will be something, in context, very weird: something placed by Dedalus, that will breach the wall between Arkerra and sepia world.

    • Thor
      Thor
      March 11, 2011, 6:19 pm | # | Reply

      I hope he finds *something* that causes a change of scene. I’m quite sick of him and his face.

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        March 11, 2011, 7:14 pm | # | Reply

        Don’t hate him becuase he’s beautiful.

        • barsukthom
          barsukthom
          March 12, 2011, 1:50 pm | # | Reply

          Nah, we hate him because he’s a shit elf.
          We loathe and despise him because he’s a dick, too.
          We want to lock him up in the basement and rent him out because he’s beautiful.

    • Locke
      Locke
      March 11, 2011, 9:58 pm | # | Reply

      How you make links, crazy man? Because, see, the only system I know is the Tvtropes system.

      Thus, I shall boldly go and risk my own neck. I bet Payet finds [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HealingShiv this.]]

      • Locke
        Locke
        March 11, 2011, 9:58 pm | # | Reply

        DAMMIT.

        • Ishmael
          Ishmael
          March 11, 2011, 10:27 pm | # | Reply

          It’s html. [a href=”www.google.com”]Text Here[/a] but with pointy brackets.

          • ahdok
            ahdok
            March 12, 2011, 6:39 am | # | Reply

            It, like, tells you under the text input box the format of HTML tags you can evidently can’t use.

            :p

            • FoolishOwl
              FoolishOwl
              March 12, 2011, 2:21 pm | # | Reply

              I just noticed that, and half the tags I don’t recognize. I’m feeling old.

              Also, for a deprecated tag, strikeout seems to be going strong.

            • Hawk
              Hawk
              March 12, 2011, 3:57 pm | # | Reply

              Yeah, the html tags are there. And sometimes *gasp* they even work too.

              Now explain to me why bracket-slash-I-bracket doesn’t stop the italics.

              • ahdok
                ahdok
                March 12, 2011, 5:38 pm | # | Reply

                because you should use (em) for emphasis, and allow the users browser determine how to render that (usually italics) – rather than telling people how you want your meaning to be formatted :D

                (in other words, the (i) tag is depreciated.)

                let’s try it out though and see if it works.

                • ahdok
                  ahdok
                  March 12, 2011, 5:39 pm | # | Reply

                  seems to work. were you using capitalised characters in your tags?

  33. Conconhead
    Conconhead
    March 11, 2011, 4:10 pm | # | Reply

    Dammit. Nobody told Payet that this quest required having Archaeology trained!

  34. Sortelli
    Sortelli
    March 11, 2011, 9:32 pm | # | Reply

    It’s night… Best will dig a few squares down and then hear “SSSSSSS” from behind.

    The comic comes to an abrupt end.

    • Locke
      Locke
      March 11, 2011, 9:59 pm | # | Reply

      Don’t dig straight down, Payet!

      … On the other hand, dig straight down! And straight up! And don’t use any torches!

      • Sortelli
        Sortelli
        March 12, 2011, 1:19 am | # | Reply

        digging straight up is perfectly safe — OH GOD GRAVEL IS AFFECTED BY GRAVITY SOMEHOW WHO COULD HAVE FORSEEN IT

        • Novijen
          Novijen
          March 12, 2011, 11:05 pm | # | Reply

          Digging to the side now, no gravel should fall on me.

          What is that strange hissing sooooooohhhhhhmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyygoooooooooooooood!!!!

          • Locke
            Locke
            March 13, 2011, 7:57 pm | # | Reply

            “Okay, I’ve put up some torches, blocked myself in to keep stuff from sneaking up on me, I’m safe. I’ll just dig to the OTHER side. I mean, I’m on the diamond leve- Wait, is that lava- OH DEAR GOD WHYYYYYYY?!”

    • Jim
      Jim
      March 13, 2011, 8:17 am | # | Reply

      Usually goes like this.

      *SSSS….*
      “FUCK!”
      *BOOM!*

  35. Ishmael
    Ishmael
    March 11, 2011, 10:30 pm | # | Reply

    I’d be irritated too if I came out here on a quest to save the world, had my Bwakgabok shot out from under me, had to risk my life fighting landsharks, spending all day and night in the desert(Which isn’t fun wearing a uniform designed for it, much less black leather), and come to the objective of my mission, only to be told to dig in the hard ground when all I have is an axe and my hands.

    And note that the sand ends at the mouth of the cave. What he probably has there is sandstone or some other collection of rocks and crap.

    Well, he used to be a stable boy. I’d say he remembers hard labor.

    • Hawk
      Hawk
      March 12, 2011, 3:59 pm | # | Reply

      I dunno about a day and a night; it looks more like he had dinner in the sunset and started traveling again after full dark. (Not that I would blame him, hot desert sun + black leather, and all.)

      If he was more practical (like, say, a wombat) he would always, always bring some kind of digging implement. You never know when saving the world might involve something so humble as a crowbar.

  36. Wazza
    Wazza
    March 11, 2011, 10:56 pm | # | Reply

    Here’s waiting for the ‘spirit’ to be doing the digging himself and grumbling away while Dr Douche catches up on his beauty sleep…

  37. Valdrax
    Valdrax
    March 12, 2011, 1:57 am | # | Reply

    I can’t help but find it adorable/funny every time the ghost lifts its arms to say something.

  38. Redo19
    Redo19
    March 12, 2011, 8:01 am | # | Reply

    Quick, Payet! Punch the soil with your geometric fists! Maybe it’ll explode in a similarly geometric fashion and give you a cube of soil! THINK OF THE IRON, MAN!

  39. Redo19
    Redo19
    March 12, 2011, 8:02 am | # | Reply

    heh. iron man.

  40. SteelRaven
    SteelRaven
    March 12, 2011, 9:02 pm | # | Reply

    IT”S A GRAVE!!!!

    • Novijen
      Novijen
      March 12, 2011, 11:07 pm | # | Reply

      Or at least it will be.

      *crosses fingers*

    • Wazza
      Wazza
      March 13, 2011, 2:32 am | # | Reply

      Hopefully not a *Grave* full of *Dust*…

      • Novijen
        Novijen
        March 13, 2011, 2:56 am | # | Reply

        I think I’d go berserk if that was the case.

        • Randonimity
          Randonimity
          March 13, 2011, 1:20 pm | # | Reply

          Imagine the Byrony of it all!

          • Jean-Luc
            Jean-Luc
            March 13, 2011, 3:55 pm | # | Reply

            That’d be so Friggin cool.

            • Lynxx
              Lynxx
              March 13, 2011, 7:28 pm | # | Reply

              He’s probably gonna find a dirty Syr’nj

              • Locke
                Locke
                March 13, 2011, 8:00 pm | # | Reply

                Best case scenario for Payet would be that the relic is harmless, really.

                • randonimity
                  randonimity
                  March 13, 2011, 11:06 pm | # | Reply

                  Naw, Best case scenario is if he and his noble (seasoned and deceased) steed Bandit together to dig.

  41. Corpy
    Corpy
    March 13, 2011, 3:54 am | # | Reply

    Something doesn’t seem right about this “spirit”

  42. XenoVega
    XenoVega
    March 13, 2011, 7:20 am | # | Reply

    The last three panels are so damn funny. Isn’t this also the first time Best became the object of the joke? No, the Douchebag Achievement doesn’t count.

  43. Twigs
    Twigs
    March 26, 2011, 4:21 pm | # | Reply

    I love the prospect of an exasperated spirit. “Do I have to do EVERYTHING myself? I’m non-corporeal, I can’t dig up the damn relic for you!!”

  44. James Rye
    James Rye
    June 15, 2012, 6:43 pm | # | Reply

    Laughed so much at that. XD

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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