Now, before I launch into full rant mode, allow me to explain the events that prompted this long-winded bitchery:
1) Living in Virginia, I was totally mollywhopped by Mother Nature on the twenty-ninth of June and had my power knocked out along with a million other folks in the tri-state area. Waking up in a pool of gross sweat on the thirtieth, I muttered to myself, “fuck this noise,” and headed out to find other accomodations. I had to go all the way out to Frederick, MD just to find a hotel that had both electricity and vacancy… and only because I decided to start looking for lodging at seven-thirty in the morning that day.
2) By some serendipitous miracle, I broke down and bought a Vita… on the twenty-ninth, mere hours before the fateful storm that would turn countless people into honorary Amish.
3) By the first of July, I found that the Holiday Inn Express was slowly eroding my sanity. In a last ditch effort, I tried to keep my shit together by downloading Final Fantasy IV: Complete Edition. Even after twenty years, that game is incredibly engaging. It completely reminded me of why I used to enjoy JPRG’s.
4) The next day, while charging my Vita, I poked around the internet and watched Square-Enix’s concept trailer for their “next-generation” technology. It completely reminded me of why I no longer play JRPG’s.
S-E is clearly more concerned with making movies only vaguely disguised as video games. Even worse, these movies are absolutely fucking terrible. All emphasis on gameplay has been shirked in favor of meandering, incoherent plots, irritating characters, atrocious dialogue and the ear-sodomizingly terrible voice acting.
Really, Final Fantasy XIII served as the paradigm for the new Square-Enix development initiative.
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