Annotated 23-26
The Dark Knight Returns callback was a deeply weird artistic flourish for me to ask of John, but I was creatively flailing by this point. “Eisner! Miller! TOLSTOY!” Phil had laughed his ass off when I first suggested that the conflict should be resolved with a game of capture the flag: with the visual of the flag in the hands of their opponents at the shore jolting the Fightopians into understanding that this nation of theirs isn’t as “real” as they’ve kidded themselves it is.
But as the story developed, Phil quickly grew disenchanted with the idea. He may have denied that he ever liked it. Cue angry phone calls.
Yet I had to do something with the general concept, because this disenchantment didn’t settle in until after Bandit and Fr’Nj had pursued their side mission, and nothing else really justified the team leader separating from the others except a solid plan to end the fight. So we dithered and debated and, as a result, kept adding pages to the story. I’m not gonna stump for the 24-page-a-chapter rule again just now, but I do think a quicker run time would’ve helped with the lighter, breezier tone I was trying to accomplish.
So, I – I mean, Bert – just switched sides, just like that? ~confused~
Well, look at him in the first pages after Fightopia’s founding – he’s not super enthusiastic about the whole thing.
The fact that that didn’t break until he almost killed Fr’nj is a bit odd, though – though I think the speech he makes when he opens the doors to release the machines is an attempt to psyche himself up, which might well have backfired, as it points out the weird position somebody like him would hold in a state like Fightopia.
I’m prepared to admit that Bert’s conversion is one of the aspects of this story I ended up rushing. In my view, seeing Fr’Nj almost die underlined for him that this flag and nation was not worth killing for, and so he sided with the invaders in hopes of ending the fight before any other blood was spilled. He shares Sundar’s ideals and Rendar’s practicality, perhaps. But none of that’s as clear on the page as it could be.
I think given the kind of creative back and forth you were having, it’s understandable some things got short shrift. Especially if you were already adding pages to try to resolve things, adding another one so Bert could explain things probably didn’t sit right. I think the art, and the beats of the story do enough (I wasn’t confused) to convey Bert’s feelings, even if a scene where he speaks on them would have been nice.
Three riders on an outsize horse seems a deliberate visual reference to the legend of the Four Sons of Aymon. Me gusta.
“the conflict should be resolved with a game of capture the flag”
Eh, capturing the opponents’ colors is a time-honored goal in real-life warfare.
It’s also a steeple of MMO games. So it’s fitting.