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Annotations Every Day - Written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

No, he's just really far away.

Chapter 17 – Page 1

on May 30, 2012
Chapter: Chapter 17
└ Tags: Bandit, Byron, E-Merl, Frigg, Gr'Zl, Gravedust, Rachel, Scipio, Syr'Nj, Tay'lr
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Discussion (79) ¬

  1. SteelRaven
    SteelRaven
    May 30, 2012, 12:18 am | # | Reply

    Human, it’s whats for dinner!

    • JarrysKid
      JarrysKid
      May 30, 2012, 10:34 am | # | Reply

      Long Pork, the other other white meat!

  2. 1d4caltrop
    1d4caltrop
    May 30, 2012, 12:18 am | # | Reply

    Rub a male human and a female human together and you get a baby.

    Rub a male Wood Elf and a female Wood Elf together and you get a forest fire.

    Hence all Wood Elf/Wood Elf relationships require a frigid partner.

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      May 30, 2012, 12:37 am | # | Reply

      I guess “kudzu” doesn’t mean what we think it means.

      • marbles
        marbles
        May 30, 2012, 12:48 am | # | Reply

        Kudzu is a vine that creeps all up in other plants bwees-naize. It tends to cling, and sorta drapes itself over other plantlife. Maybe he’s calling her “kudzu” because he likes it when she wraps herself all over him like a frikken kudzu vine.

        • Dan Irving
          Dan Irving
          May 30, 2012, 6:56 am | # | Reply

          It also makes a pretty good salad and a local brewery here is trying to use it to make beer …. so …. yeah … um ….

          • JarrysKid
            JarrysKid
            May 30, 2012, 10:37 am | # | Reply

            It also grows incredibly fast. I knew of a guy in Tennessee who went out of town for a couple weeks, and when he got back kudzu had covered his garage.

            • Dusty668
              Dusty668
              May 30, 2012, 3:56 pm | # | Reply

              In high summer it can grow up to 18 inches every 24 hours.

              • Andreas
                Andreas
                June 1, 2012, 1:46 am | # | Reply

                And it’s a bioinvasive pest that ought to be burned out… maybe she only realized the full meaning after a small lapse of time.

    • coldelectrons
      coldelectrons
      May 30, 2012, 12:54 am | # | Reply

      Rub a human male and wood elf female together, and you get splinters and a rash.

    • Syncline
      Syncline
      May 30, 2012, 6:12 am | # | Reply

      Is THAT why she looks completely bored with that lame-@$$ kiss?

      • Shadowsamurai
        Shadowsamurai
        May 31, 2012, 9:40 am | # | Reply

        That’s probably because almost all wood elf’s seem to have lost the ability to smile (This might be totally incorrect)

  3. Ishmael
    Ishmael
    May 30, 2012, 12:24 am | # | Reply

    Grizzle and Tailor, huh?

    • wwlaos
      wwlaos
      May 30, 2012, 10:16 am | # | Reply

      No no no, you are saying it all wrong. Your sound blends are too human. You must allow your throat to rumble through the R’s and your tongue to vibrate with the L’s.

      Gr’zl. Tay’lr. Remember your standard Wood Elf syllabic accent rules.

  4. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    May 30, 2012, 12:33 am | # | Reply

    The dwarf breaths so loud…

    • Wulf
      Wulf
      May 30, 2012, 6:55 am | # | Reply

      …we could shoot him in the dark.

      • centuriancode
        centuriancode
        May 30, 2012, 7:22 am | # | Reply

        Which is good, considering the heavy use of dark shades in this page.

  5. marbles
    marbles
    May 30, 2012, 12:46 am | # | Reply

    Ooh, the plot thickens. Me like! Maybe this wood-elf guy is Best’s “alt?”

    Also, his scent blocker is what, again? Oldspice? Lol.

    • coldelectrons
      coldelectrons
      May 30, 2012, 12:56 am | # | Reply

      Maybe someone is hinting that he smells like a fallen log?

      • marbles
        marbles
        May 30, 2012, 4:45 am | # | Reply

        Wear Auldspice, now in Forest Rain and Rotten Vegetation varieties!

        • Thnikkaman
          Thnikkaman
          May 30, 2012, 10:15 am | # | Reply

          Puh puh puh puh power!!!

        • Speedy
          Speedy
          December 1, 2018, 9:37 am | # | Reply

          So, he probably comes home from hunts smelling like OldSpice, armpit sap, and dead boar. Maybe he should start taking a dip in an Irish Spring, on his way ho.e.

      • centuriancode
        centuriancode
        May 30, 2012, 7:23 am | # | Reply

        Nah, she’s just saying she wants him on a boat. And if the other hunters follow him, then he’s clearly not too far from being a figurehead.

    • Hawk
      Hawk
      May 30, 2012, 10:24 am | # | Reply

      I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who saw this dipshit and said, “Oh hello Best-alt”

      Though it could just be some OTHER douche.

    • jokerlope
      jokerlope
      May 30, 2012, 12:08 pm | # | Reply

      I could see Best starring in an Auldspice commercial

      • The Indomitable Eric
        The Indomitable Eric
        May 30, 2012, 2:33 pm | # | Reply

        Hello, adventurers. Look at your bard, now back to me, now back to your bard, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using land shark scented body wash and switched to Auldspice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on an airship, with the bard your bard could smell like. What’s in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It’s a magical basin with foresight to that future you want. Look again. The tickets are now VORTEXES. Anything is possible when your bard smells like auldspice and not a land shark. I’m on a bawkbagok.

        • Dusty668
          Dusty668
          May 30, 2012, 3:58 pm | # | Reply

          Moo.

        • Slayn82
          Slayn82
          May 30, 2012, 4:22 pm | # | Reply

          Bravo! Clap! Clap! Clap!

        • Bliggz
          Bliggz
          May 30, 2012, 8:07 pm | # | Reply

          lolololol

        • ladyphilyra
          ladyphilyra
          May 31, 2012, 12:57 am | # | Reply

          Well done, Eric!

        • Sun-stone
          Sun-stone
          May 31, 2012, 4:39 am | # | Reply

          *applauds*

      • Lennier
        Lennier
        May 30, 2012, 4:44 pm | # | Reply

        “I’m on a boat!”

  6. Volpalope
    Volpalope
    May 30, 2012, 12:52 am | # | Reply

    Is it just me that thinks she wanted a little more than a peck on the forehead?

    • Loki
      Loki
      May 30, 2012, 2:05 am | # | Reply

      I thought it was just that she was (slightly) peeved that Gr’zl made it seem like she’d just made a promise, when she never said it was so.

      • Andreas
        Andreas
        May 30, 2012, 4:28 am | # | Reply

        She thinks “Ugh, one more session of close-my-eyes-and-think-of-foliage”

        Or, it could be Auld spice… nobody wants to be kissed by someone wearing that stuff…

    • randomdude
      randomdude
      May 30, 2012, 12:41 pm | # | Reply

      Either that or she secretly loathes him.

      • Oz
        Oz
        May 30, 2012, 5:07 pm | # | Reply

        I don’t think it’s a secret to anyone but him.

      • Soirbleu
        Soirbleu
        May 30, 2012, 8:34 pm | # | Reply

        Maybe it’s just a female Wood-Elf thing. Looking all pissed off with sexual arousal. Or when the guy you likes is being affectionate. Something like that. It would explain that strange look that everyone was talking about when Syr was in bed with Byron, just recently, right? Maybe every female wood elf bestrewed with affection from her mate starts getting far off and sulky. Right, guys?

  7. coldelectrons
    coldelectrons
    May 30, 2012, 1:02 am | # | Reply

    “DO NOT kiss me on my eyebr…..knothole.”

    • Thracecius
      Thracecius
      May 30, 2012, 1:24 pm | # | Reply

      Hah! Exactly what I was thinking, but with better word choice. :D

  8. Val Hallen
    Val Hallen
    May 30, 2012, 1:30 am | # | Reply

    And Best comes back! And as a proper elf, this time.

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      May 30, 2012, 4:29 am | # | Reply

      No, he’s still a shit elf…

  9. Nanophreak
    Nanophreak
    May 30, 2012, 1:32 am | # | Reply

    Clearly, it takes the sharpest senses in the universe to detect an old Dwarf, a boisterous Paladin, a 200-400 pound Tank, 2-3 other humans, and a Gnome that’s off her guard, among others, I think.

    My, it’s hard to remember the whole crew now. It’s gotten quite big.

    • Fairportfan
      Fairportfan
      May 30, 2012, 2:35 am | # | Reply

      You forgot the Street Elf.

      • Andreas
        Andreas
        May 30, 2012, 4:38 am | # | Reply

        And a blabbermouth magixian! Those are really hard to detect. Especially with all the special effects!

        BTW: Notice how much they swap around in their formation?
        Panel one : Bandies, Gravy, Scipper, The-hooded-one, Friggs, Rach, The-hooded-one-Mk2 and the-hooded-one-Mk3.
        Panel 4 : Bandies, Gravy, Byro, Syrr …
        Seems like Byro and Syrr were Mk2 and Mk3, so how the hell did they suddenly show up in the middle?
        Or rather, no wonder the elf heard them when they mill about that way :D

        • Hertzyscowicz
          Hertzyscowicz
          May 30, 2012, 6:57 am | # | Reply

          Looks almost as if Scipio and Bandit are splitting from the main party. My guess is they are planning on delivering a major zing when the wood elves start talking smack about the guild’s sneaking skills.

    • Garygolf
      Garygolf
      May 30, 2012, 4:15 am | # | Reply

      They’re building a proper raid party. Could use some more DPS, though.

      • Hawk
        Hawk
        May 30, 2012, 10:24 am | # | Reply

        So who’s the tank? *snicker*

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      May 30, 2012, 4:31 am | # | Reply

      I think you mean “…a Gnome that’s off her gourd…”

      She’s been hitting the sillibus again.

    • Hertzyscowicz
      Hertzyscowicz
      May 30, 2012, 6:54 am | # | Reply

      Especially when they are on a diplomatic mission. It’s common sense to send your best sneaky commando raider types on those sorts of missions. Y’know, because they would be best utilized in sneaky commando raids, and we really can’t have that.

    • Yinello
      Yinello
      May 30, 2012, 11:40 am | # | Reply

      That’s what I was thinking. Surely anyone could have noticed a whole bunch of people walking through the forest.

  10. minion
    minion
    May 30, 2012, 4:54 am | # | Reply

    Well looks like a Charie Foxtrot to me. Because when you Cluster up, youre F___ed.
    I’m thinking they are not trying to be sneaky in any way at all.
    We come in peace?

    • minion
      minion
      May 30, 2012, 4:55 am | # | Reply

      ..ooOO how appropriate avatar! :)

    • flevine
      flevine
      May 30, 2012, 6:59 am | # | Reply

      Well, they are heading for Syr’s own home…

  11. zero
    zero
    May 30, 2012, 6:32 am | # | Reply

    Gr’zu – the wood elf your wood elf could smell like

  12. flevine
    flevine
    May 30, 2012, 7:00 am | # | Reply

    Ugh, the guy praises himself in third person. My douchebag sense is tingling already.

  13. Frigg Fanboi
    Frigg Fanboi
    May 30, 2012, 7:51 am | # | Reply

    Hello, adventurers, look at your rogue, now back to me, now back at your rogue, now back to me.

    Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using elderberry scented body wash and switched to Auldspice, he could smell like he’s me.

    Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a forest with the man your Rogue could smell like.

    What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an bag with two tickets for free beer at the tavern. Look again, the tickets for free beer are now epic level loot. Anything is possible when your man smells like Auldspice and not a lady.

    I’m on a Troll.”

  14. JarrysKid
    JarrysKid
    May 30, 2012, 10:43 am | # | Reply

    Hey Phil, T, are you guys putting in new characters deliberatly designed to get everybody squealing “Ooh! that’s Best’s alt!”

    Also, if Best has so many alts, how did he ever find the time to learn to play?

    • Phil
      Flo
      May 30, 2012, 12:15 pm | # | Reply

      Y’know, normally this is where I like to play the finger-tenting mysterious secretmonger, but for once I’ll abstain.

      We’re not doing it on purpose. I’m continually surprised by not only how many new characters are suspected of being Best’s alt, but by how much everyone seems to want… perhaps, even need him back.

      We don’t cotton to spoilers around here, but I’ll say this much: Do you think Best would let his return to Arkerra happen with such an absolute lacking of spectacle?

      If/when he does return, it will be glorious.

      • Thracecius
        Thracecius
        May 30, 2012, 1:23 pm | # | Reply

        Okay, it may not be official, but I’m sure -someone- has to say:

        Gold Star.

        :D

      • Dove
        Dove
        May 30, 2012, 1:44 pm | # | Reply

        Aww, thank you for informing us! I admit, I wasn’t positive on the alt thing but so many people made good points that I started to consider it strongly. It’s good to know Best wouldn’t accept anything less than a glorious arrival of his character though and that he’s so invested in Best that he wouldn’t be likely to have an alt. I’m eager to see what he’ll end up doing, if he does return. I suppose the key is that we love to despise him and I admit I do miss him. He was never my favorite but then I don’t really have one beyond our lovely Gnoll, Auraugu (though I only favor him because he’s a gnoll, he has amused me so far, and because I want to see more of him.) I love everyone else so much, it’s hard to choose just one. :)

        Btw, I had to look up Auraugu’s name (I love him but we see him so rarely that I haven’t gotten to where I remember his name on my own) and uh… your Wiki has been tampered with, just so you know.

        • Phil
          Flo
          May 31, 2012, 8:36 am | # | Reply

          YEAH… yeah…

          We’re probably going to pull the plug on it. It was, admittedly, a short-sighted venture.

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        May 30, 2012, 5:18 pm | # | Reply

        If you didn’t want us to need Best back you shouldn’t have made him so fucking awesome. Just plain awesome would’ve been enough.

        • Phil
          Flo
          May 31, 2012, 8:35 am | # | Reply

          You may have noticed that his awesome escalated between appearances.

          We aim to maintain this upward trend.

          Y’know. If/when.

          • Andreas
            Andreas
            June 1, 2012, 2:13 am | # | Reply

            So… pretty much Thermonuclear, eh?

      • Dotcom
        Dotcom
        May 30, 2012, 6:26 pm | # | Reply

        So glad to hear this, because i was thinking the same thing. It was getting to the point, I thinking of posting, “ZOMG! IT’S BEST’S ALT!” every time we’d see a character.

        Not seeing the resemblence with any of these new guys. The ogre is way too modest and the wood elf isn’t smarmy enough. Aside from being skinny, neither of them really look like Best to me either. That said, I welcome his douchy comeback as he is just too epic to abandon (and nekkid-monkey Best/Frigg angry sex is hilarious). :)

        • SnaleKing
          SnaleKing
          May 31, 2012, 12:10 am | # | Reply

          I don’t know… at the beginning Best was actually pretty modest- after the whole “prophesied one” dealie, then he started getting douchebag points.

          I also want to see more of Auraugu, for the record. Not that my opinion means a whole lot here.

          • Phil
            Flo
            May 31, 2012, 8:44 am | # | Reply

            Hey now, all of you readers’ opinions matter!

            We don’t have the time or wherewithall to respond to each and every comment, of course, but I assure you this:

            The “General Consensus of the Readership” is something we consider heavily whenever scripting.

            • JarrysKid
              JarrysKid
              May 31, 2012, 11:23 am | # | Reply

              General Consensus demands that everyone be nekkid. Consensus has spoken. Obey, minions!

            • dr pepper
              dr pepper
              May 31, 2012, 3:05 pm | # | Reply

              “General Consensus of the Readership” doesn’t have the snap of “Fellowship of the Ring” but it would make a great title. I can see a web comic done like an improv skit.

              Caption: The hero enters the Forbidden Forest.

              Hero: This is a scary place. But i must retrieve the Sacred Backscratcher or the kingdom is doomed! Wait– wha’s that rustling sound? There’s something coming through the trees!

              Commenters: Dragon! Lion! Dire Hamster! Walrus!

              Caption: An enormous walrus charges at the hero, slashing with its tusks.

              Hero: My sword just bounces off its rubbery hide– what do i do?

              Commenters: Run! Cut down a tree so it falls on it! Stick your hand down its throat and choke it!

              Hero: Stick my hand down its throat? Are you crazy? It’s just bite my hand off!

              Commenters: Not if you look cool enough while doing it!

              Hero: Can i get a stand-in?

              • David DeLaney
                David DeLaney
                June 14, 2012, 4:54 pm | # | Reply

                To check out a variant on this, go look at You awaken in Razor Hill., reposted from a rather longer thread on the World of Warcraft forums; starts with Razor Hill Page One on the left side. Suggestions were taken from commenters, and here you mainly see the replies that form the story, though you can deduce what most of the suggestions were. It’s in the old Infocom text-adventure tradition, and takes a bit to get going but ends up AWESOME.

                –Dave

                • David DeLaney
                  David DeLaney
                  June 14, 2012, 4:56 pm | # | Reply

                  Hmm. Well, that was SUPPOSED to be a link but something appears to have gone pear-shaped. Try just http://www.thelittlestmurloc.com/ then…

                  –Dave

      • SotiCoto
        SotiCoto
        March 31, 2016, 4:53 am | # | Reply

        So Auraugu is Best’s Alt?

        The flashiness is strong in that one.

  15. Eleanor
    Eleanor
    May 30, 2012, 11:34 am | # | Reply

    I’m looking at that face she made with that kiss, and I’m thinking she’s been trying to break up with that guy since the first time he called her kudzu.

    • randomdude
      randomdude
      May 30, 2012, 12:47 pm | # | Reply

      What was the thought process there?

      “Hmm. Me, Gr’zl, needs a pet name for her. How about a super annoying and kind of destructive weed that’s a real problem in some parts of the world? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

      • randomdude
        randomdude
        May 30, 2012, 12:47 pm | # | Reply

        I love my new avatar.

  16. The Occupant
    The Occupant
    May 30, 2012, 8:21 pm | # | Reply

    You know, the Auldspice ‘gag’ really ruins the moment.

  17. Commiekeebler
    Commiekeebler
    May 31, 2012, 10:29 am | # | Reply

    Gotta love the magical bow with magical bowstring that can totally not get wet and snap at the worst possible moment during inclement weather.

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      June 1, 2012, 2:16 am | # | Reply

      They’re wood elves; they probably have living plant tendons for bowstrings. Plants don’t mind the rain, y’know?

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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