Lets tree what comes next.
The next pun may leave you barking with laughter.
I wood expect as mulch.
At leaf thats what I’m rooting for.
I’m feeling a little twiggy here, but I’ll be better tommorrow.
“No, dad! He’s just an international peacekeeper that solves problems with axes instead of words and occasionally slips into a murderous frenzy where he can’t distinguish friend from foe!
My life is complete. I have heard someone be called a lumberjack, and it was spoken in such a way so as to be congruous with the way one says, ‘murderer’, ‘rapist’, and ‘Hitler’.
This post reminds me of the dire glade where all the animals are twisted monsters and make me think…. does a dire owl strike fear into these elves when is says, “hew hew”?
It’s not about being unshaven (though Byron is merely stubbled) and I’m sure the w-elves practice some kind of conservation or their homeland wouldn’t be so wooded.
You know, Byron: you probably shouldn’t make too much of a fuss over this. Sure, it’s tempting to push back on this incident, but a major row with the head of a would-be allied nation won’t help either you or the people you work for. And do you really want to start a fight with your new girlfriend over her da?
So I think that you should just to find some way to simply run with the current misunderstanding. There’s no need for escalating matters; there’s simply no need for it.
Fun Fact: We have seen Byron use his axes to strike something made of wood only once in the entire series. This actually means Harki has used Byron’s axes to chop as much wood on-screen as Byron has.
Jack’O’Lumber, the wood elves’ version of Jack the Ripper, cutting down innocents to dismember them and build a dwelling from their corpses.
Come, to think of it, eeeew!
Ok. Seriously. L. M. A. O. I literally have 4 people staring at me right now from outside my office not sure if I was crying or laughing. Had to close the door.
Now to keep them on edge I’ll probably slam the door, walk out with a scowl and come back after my caffeine. I will then shoot one or two with a nerf gun.
Ah, histeria. Those axes aren’t even properly weighted for chopping wood. And the wedges just aren’t wide enough to get a proper split. Plus … it’s bearded. Clearly, this elf does not know his axes well. Someone ring up Norm Abram, maybe he’ll listen to him.
Lumber police,
arrest this man
he chops and hacks
he buzzes like a saw,
bringin’ light to a great tree’s radius.
Lumber police, arrest this “girl”;
that whittler’s hairdo
is making me feel ill
to hesitate would be foolhardy
whips are what he’ll get
whips are what he’ll get
whips are what he’ll get
from branches fir-douglas;
Lumber Police
he’s driven by our rattan
it won’t be enough
he’s driven by our rattan
For our firs, his presence is baleful
whips are what he’ll get
whips are what he’ll get
whips are what he’ll get
from branches fir-douglas;
For a minute there, I lost myself
Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself
Firs are tender and fair; he wants our health, he wants our wealth
Ooh, Firs are tender and fair; he wants ourselves, he wants ourselves
Firs are tender and fair; he wants our health, he wants our wealth
Ooh, Firs are tender and fair; he wants ourselves, he wants ourselves
*as the song fades out, sounds of nature (mostly insects, some birds, some plants rustling) fade in to take its place. For the last few seconds, the song has ended, and all you’re left with are the slightly-dissonant, slightly-too-loud sounds of nature roaring away for a few moments – and at last, silence.*
Eh, he might not have noticed at first. As soon as a girl tells her father she has a love interest, the father immediate gains a +20 bonus to Perception to spot flaws in the suitors well as making a test as an immediate reaction.
However, due to the situation he also gains a -10 Insight penalty due to his irrational nature.
… and he’s okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day!
you beat me to it XD
And neither of them wear high heels, suspenders and a bra.
Judging by the father’s outrage, I bet he wishes that he slept all night. :wink:
He never wanted to be a barberian anyway!
I fell out of my seat XD
Yea, I literally started laughing out loud after reading this.
Alt text stole all mah PUNS *whine*
Lets tree what comes next.
The next pun may leave you barking with laughter.
I wood expect as mulch.
At leaf thats what I’m rooting for.
I’m feeling a little twiggy here, but I’ll be better tommorrow.
…That would explain some things.
It sure wood.
I wonder if his bark is worse than his bite.
You’re going to haft to ask.
man, if her dad is going to be this stiff, Byron’s name for the rest of this chapter is going to be S’Log.
I guess elves make wooden things with magic and only know axes from vague description…
They are very good at convincing trees to grow in the shape of furniture.
Dude, what is your problem? He’s clearly not wearing women’s clothing!
Technically, with Frigg and Bandit armored up, he is.
The stereotype was heavy in this page.
“No, dad! He’s just an international peacekeeper that solves problems with axes instead of words and occasionally slips into a murderous frenzy where he can’t distinguish friend from foe!
… he’s on medication for that last bit. Promise.”
When you put it THAT way…. GET THE CRAZED LUMBERJACK!
Oh yeah? You and whose ar…uh, nevermind.
My life is complete. I have heard someone be called a lumberjack, and it was spoken in such a way so as to be congruous with the way one says, ‘murderer’, ‘rapist’, and ‘Hitler’.
Hey, Godwin’s Law, man.
That was revoked.
Knew I shouldn’t have taken that level of Canadian…
That does explain why he’s so polite.
I didn’t know you could level in Canadian. May have to start a new class.
I LOVE THIS COMMENT THREAD!
Well, that greeting was a little stiff. Good thing Byron’s a lumberjack now, ’cause uh… he wouldn’t want his response to Syr’Nj’s dad to be wooden.
Actually it still might be; quite honestly he looks a little petrified, if you catch my drift.
Yup. To get him out of this one, someone’s gonna hafta say something that really resin-ates with Naror’Nj.
Daddy’s bark is probably worse than his bite.
Byron’s probably feeling a bit of a sap right now.
Wooden it be nice if we could all just get along?
Axes that chop wood, officially more taboo than axes that hew limbs.
This post reminds me of the dire glade where all the animals are twisted monsters and make me think…. does a dire owl strike fear into these elves when is says, “hew hew”?
This page has made my life complete.
though as far as unshaved goes, you may want to look in a mirror, pal (or are mirrors not tree-iey enough for thee :P)
or stop being hypocritical with your own wooden furniture, or did it grow like that, hmm?
It’s not about being unshaven (though Byron is merely stubbled) and I’m sure the w-elves practice some kind of conservation or their homeland wouldn’t be so wooded.
The wood elves put up Jack o’ Lumberns on Halloween.
“I said, ‘I’m a logger…’.”
…played football in high school…
Advice I’d Give, If I Was There.
…But I’m not there, of course.
Gold Star
How’d you do that?
You mean the blockquote? It’s HTML markup.
(lessee if this works) Typing:
<blockquote>Put text here</blockquote>
gives
Epic.
If they arrest lumberjacks I’d hate to think what they do to carpenters.
I would say crucifixion but I have no idea how that would work without 2X4s.
Isn’t it obvious? Carpenters get crucified.
(too soon?)
Gold Star
Your avatar is embarrassed.
Give me thirty pieces of silver and I’ll tell you.
They have their babies, of course.
I howled in laughter at the comic, and then I howled in [horrified amusement? disgusted delight?] at the alt-text.
Platinum star.
Obscure quote: “Uh, we’re not lumberjacks! Yeah, uh, we got the axes at Taco Bell. They were giving them away free with every taco.”
Also, methinks it’s time for Byron to make like a tree and fall, section, split, rack, and season.
“untamed mane, swarthy and stubbled, deep brown eyes thst seem to go on for ever…
…Sorry, what was I saying?”
We’ve found the root of his problems at least.
So close, but Byron’s not wearing a flannel shirt. How can you have a lumberjack without that?
Does that make him Paul Byronyan?
If so, I’d say Best was the one with Babe the Blue Ax.
You mean he’s not THE Babe with the Blue Ax?
“Byronyan”. I can see it now. The axes have rainbow trails, and he has pop tarts on each shoulder.
24-hour youtube loop of Byronyan raging rainbows.
Please, someone make this real. ;_;
http://guildedage.net/webcomic/chapter-8/chapter-8-page-3/
For those who are curious, this is relevant to these last 2 days’ comics.
Fun Fact: We have seen Byron use his axes to strike something made of wood only once in the entire series. This actually means Harki has used Byron’s axes to chop as much wood on-screen as Byron has.
“Iiiiiiiiii’m a lumberjack, and I’m OK…”
Jack’O’Lumber, the wood elves’ version of Jack the Ripper, cutting down innocents to dismember them and build a dwelling from their corpses.
Come, to think of it, eeeew!
Damnit, I’m having Dwarf Fortress flashbacks.
The magma god can’t get here soon enough.
“Arrest this man and chop off his tree!” XD
BTW, this page brought me a little joy. Totally hilarious! Daddy Elf’s mane isn’t exactly “tamed” either. :)
Funniest page in a while. Possibly in the comic’s history.
at least he’s not a crazed barber.
Cleary, Syr’nj’s father has an axe to grind.
hahahahahahaha
Ok. Seriously. L. M. A. O. I literally have 4 people staring at me right now from outside my office not sure if I was crying or laughing. Had to close the door.
Now to keep them on edge I’ll probably slam the door, walk out with a scowl and come back after my caffeine. I will then shoot one or two with a nerf gun.
Have to keep people on their toes after all.
Like a boss.
Are you Daniel tosh? No wait he’d shoot them with a harpoon gun nvm :)
Ah, histeria. Those axes aren’t even properly weighted for chopping wood. And the wedges just aren’t wide enough to get a proper split. Plus … it’s bearded. Clearly, this elf does not know his axes well. Someone ring up Norm Abram, maybe he’ll listen to him.
Occupational profiling at its worst.
Lumber police,
arrest this man
he chops and hacks
he buzzes like a saw,
bringin’ light to a great tree’s radius.
Lumber police, arrest this “girl”;
that whittler’s hairdo
is making me feel ill
to hesitate would be foolhardy
whips are what he’ll get
whips are what he’ll get
whips are what he’ll get
from branches fir-douglas;
Lumber Police
he’s driven by our rattan
it won’t be enough
he’s driven by our rattan
For our firs, his presence is baleful
whips are what he’ll get
whips are what he’ll get
whips are what he’ll get
from branches fir-douglas;
For a minute there, I lost myself
Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself
Firs are tender and fair; he wants our health, he wants our wealth
Ooh, Firs are tender and fair; he wants ourselves, he wants ourselves
Firs are tender and fair; he wants our health, he wants our wealth
Ooh, Firs are tender and fair; he wants ourselves, he wants ourselves
*as the song fades out, sounds of nature (mostly insects, some birds, some plants rustling) fade in to take its place. For the last few seconds, the song has ended, and all you’re left with are the slightly-dissonant, slightly-too-loud sounds of nature roaring away for a few moments – and at last, silence.*
*darn lack of proofreading* I don’t know how that “For a minute there” stanza got in there. Pretend it wasn’t there.
Byron may be the lumberjack, but it’s usually Syr that chops the morning wood.
Bow-choppa-wow-wow…
(SOMEONE had to say it, right?)
Wait, did the cure Syr’Nj gave Byron unintentionally give him Paul Bunyan’s Disease?
Let’s try that link again.
Ah… so someone else also thought immediately of the same thing.
But no… his clothing doesn’t match.
Alright I did not see that coming.
PROUD TO BE CANADJUN
We are a swarthy, stubbly, untamed lot, to be sure.
Funny how Dad didn’t seem to have a problem with Byron’s “lumberjack status” before he found out he was bopping his daughter.
Eh, he might not have noticed at first. As soon as a girl tells her father she has a love interest, the father immediate gains a +20 bonus to Perception to spot flaws in the suitors well as making a test as an immediate reaction.
However, due to the situation he also gains a -10 Insight penalty due to his irrational nature.
This post wins all the internet.
Wait til he whips out his Blue Ox *wiggles eyebrows*
Byron, Byron, Byron…you should haft left the axes somewhere safe. They tend to adze-vertise what you hew for a living.
“No, no, no. Those aren’t axes, those are CLEAVERS. Like, for meat. People shaped meat.”
This is possibly the best page.
I’ve never laughed any harder in this comic. Brilliant.
Possibly the only time when saying “Oh, those aren’t for wood. I’m an Axe Murderer” would get the father to feel less threatened by the boyfriend.
“Man, no! Not lumberjack! I pulled these off an elf I strangled … oh.”
Is it just me, or does the elf guard on the right look like he’s holding a Pan’far axe from Star Trek?
It’s been a while since I literally laughed out loud. Thank you for that.