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Annotations Every Day - Written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

Tanks always blame the DPS first. But in their defense, they're usually right.

Chapter 24 – Page 28

on July 24, 2013
Chapter: Chapter 24
└ Tags: Bandit, Byron, Frigg, Sundar
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Discussion (48) ¬

  1. Dick III
    Dick III
    July 24, 2013, 12:05 am | # | Reply

    No, Gravedust, you can’t take two and make stilts.

  2. JSStryker
    JSStryker
    July 24, 2013, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Smoke ’em if you got them!

    • Charlie Spencer
      Charlie Spencer
      July 24, 2013, 12:05 pm | # | Reply

      Exactly what I thought. Obviously more than one veteran around here.

  3. SteelRaven
    SteelRaven
    July 24, 2013, 12:16 am | # | Reply

    They should have sent Frigg, she has a way with words.

    • s1b
      s1b
      July 24, 2013, 12:31 am | # | Reply

      Bad words. Cuss words mostly.

    • cliffmonster
      cliffmonster
      July 24, 2013, 12:03 pm | # | Reply

      She would deal with the council like she played chess with the gnomes…

  4. The Indomitable Eric
    The Indomitable Eric
    July 24, 2013, 12:22 am | # | Reply

    Shits about to get inspirational up in here.

  5. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    July 24, 2013, 12:52 am | # | Reply

    An adventurer bailout might actually stimulate the economy as opposed to dumping more money into General Coaches and their bulky, heavy wood, horse guzzlers.

    • FoolishOwl
      FoolishOwl
      July 24, 2013, 1:08 am | # | Reply

      That’s the sort of thing I’d expect to hear from a Bandit Keynesian.

      • Dan Irving
        Dan Irving
        July 24, 2013, 11:06 am | # | Reply

        /clap

      • Benedikt
        Benedikt
        July 24, 2013, 2:09 pm | # | Reply

        /clap

      • Tehbeefer
        Tehbeefer
        July 24, 2013, 3:21 pm | # | Reply

        I’m just (FA) hayuking it up over here at that one…

      • Subtle
        Subtle
        July 24, 2013, 5:56 pm | # | Reply

        Now I have that rap stuck in my head..

  6. Flushmaster
    Flushmaster
    July 24, 2013, 1:05 am | # | Reply

    From personal experience, healers blame everybody else…if the enemy gets to the healers then SOMEBODY fucked up so we can’t be entirely wrong. Also, who in their right mind is going to argue with the healer?

    • Kokuten
      Kokuten
      July 24, 2013, 1:33 am | # | Reply

      Everyone.

      • Carl-E
        Carl-E
        July 24, 2013, 2:38 am | # | Reply

        Sorry, can’t hear your arguments over all that bleeding you’re doing!

    • MichaelHaneline
      MichaelHaneline
      July 24, 2013, 10:36 pm | # | Reply

      In my experience the stupid players always love to tell the healers how they’re doing their job wrong.

      • Flushmaster
        Flushmaster
        July 25, 2013, 6:04 pm | # | Reply

        In my experience those are the people who’s opinions I respect by not healing them, incorrectly or otherwise.

    • SotiCoto
      SotiCoto
      February 19, 2014, 4:42 am | # | Reply

      As someone who always specialised in taking out the enemy healers, it was never my responsibility to protect the allied squishies.
      If the assassin is the last line of defense, something has gone horribly wrong.

      Also, I always preferred having some back-up healing option to relying exclusively on healers. If losing the healer equals instant party-wipe… it probably wasn’t a very good party in the first place.

  7. Carl-E
    Carl-E
    July 24, 2013, 2:39 am | # | Reply

    Wait – take who’s knee?

    • Colesloth
      Colesloth
      July 24, 2013, 10:46 am | # | Reply

      All that matters is that you make sure they don’t have arrows in them.

    • coldelectrons
      coldelectrons
      July 24, 2013, 9:24 pm | # | Reply

      I heartily endorse kneecapping legislators.

  8. King of Zeroes
    King of Zeroes
    July 24, 2013, 3:18 am | # | Reply

    It’s not the DPS fault they think their class is easier to play. “Hey I don’t need to think if I just use this build here to max out my damage.” And then BAM. Sudden aggro shift! Healers screaming, tanks dying, mobs spawning! TPK. The Tanks KNOW they have to understand the Aggro system, and read up on all the mobs and bosses that will be punching them in the face for the next three and a half hours or so. Healers do the same because they’d rather NOT get punched in the face. But DPS? “Nah I don’t need to do all the required reading. I’ll just stab it while the Tank does all the work!”

    Lousy bloody rogues…

    • Katlamos
      Katlamos
      July 24, 2013, 3:28 am | # | Reply

      Hey now. Any DPS worth their salt knows damn well how to mitigate their aggro off themselves or onto the tank. I blame either the noob tanks who don’t understand threat tables, or the healers who can’t keep their own heal aggro down. Also, speaking as a pure dps player (I raided as bm hunter tyvm), and usually the one who had to watch the videos and was one of 4 raid leaders, you either get your team to watch those videos or you beat them with their own mouse if they don’t learn after the first few learning wipes.

      But I think we can all agree that random aggro fights are just the absolute worst for all parties involved. Not so bad if the meatshield has it, but gods help you if you are of the squishier variety and you cannot kite until it shifts again.

    • Bruceski
      Bruceski
      July 24, 2013, 4:30 am | # | Reply

      I had this all the time in my WoW days, but I did both Kitty DPS and Bear tanking so I had both sides of it. I was one of the overachievers in our guild of mostly-casual folks (I do not use that perjoratively); I can see how class mechanics fit and things clicked for me and I was always competing with myself. This made me a pretty great tank (once I learned to overcome some tunnel vision issues) but it also meant that my kitty farted out as much damage as two other folks combined (not counting the 3-4 over overachievers like me). Add in that kitties are crit-based and have other RNG things to make their damage very spiky, and there were times I’d have to shift out and throw placebo-heals on guys just for something to do while threat got back under control.

      Not to say the tanks other than I were bad, just that things scale with gear and I tended to have some of the best gear.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      July 24, 2013, 10:15 am | # | Reply

      Pft…the problem is tanks taking aggro…then pulling the bad guys out of the DPS’s range. *mutters murderously*

      • cliffmonster
        cliffmonster
        July 24, 2013, 12:04 pm | # | Reply

        You guys are great. Us pen and paper gamers have no idea what you are talking about. Its all roleplay baby!!!

        • Flushmaster
          Flushmaster
          July 24, 2013, 6:09 pm | # | Reply

          Translation…

          Tank (n): meatshield, particularly a meatshield who specialized in getting every enemy in the fight to flail ineffectively at their big armored ass.

          DPS (n): a character specialized in rapidly killing things at the expense of defensive abilities/traits/armor/etc. Preferably, they kill things that are distracted by wailing ineffectively on the tank’s big armored ass.

        • TxGator
          TxGator
          July 24, 2013, 6:24 pm | # | Reply

          Beware D&D 4.0 then. It’s a basically just a pen & paper version of an MMO. Doesn’t encourage much roleplay.

          • moirla
            moirla
            July 25, 2013, 5:48 am | # | Reply

            that’s not necessarily true. My friends and I roleplay Red Dragon Inn and The Order of the Stick Game, there’s always room for roleplay. (I do a *fantastic* Elan. They won’t let me play anyone else.)

            • Zombie_Spacer
              Zombie_Spacer
              July 25, 2013, 10:19 pm | # | Reply

              Thanks to your current gravatar, I now see an image of Gravedust running around naked screaming “I’m invisible!”

        • King of Zeroes
          King of Zeroes
          July 24, 2013, 6:28 pm | # | Reply

          Roleplay is best done without all the rules and math anyways. Straight literature spam roleplay! Where MEN go to be huge nerds and write about their fantasy Mary Sue’s attempting ineffectually to get on with the main quest! What were we supposed to be doing again? I was too busy describing this LEMON in twenty pages or less. I don’t know, but lets get off track with this pointless subplot I’ve pulled out of a hat!

          Whips and chains roleplay is also pretty great.

          • Freako
            Freako
            July 27, 2013, 8:29 pm | # | Reply

            Online, I’m quite partial to choose-your-own-adventure roleplay (think Zork, but with a DM). Give ’em a command prompt and a setup, and let the magic happen.

    • SotiCoto
      SotiCoto
      February 19, 2014, 5:21 am | # | Reply

      I get the impression I’m losing touch with the way MMOs are going these days.
      I pretty much stopped MMOing a few years back. Guild Wars was in decline, and I kinda got tired of playing Mabinogi.

      Guild Wars PvP standard is: Jump in, spike the squishy, get out.
      Regardless of tanks or aggro-control, the moment the Sin appears, he is gonna aggro SOMEONE on account of generally going straight for the healer (shadowstep techniques help)… so the trick is to do the damage (i.e. assassinate the healer) and escape before they can react. No Sin is likely to last long in a drawn out fight behind enemy lines, irrespective of what the allied healer or aggro-control is doing.

      Mabinogi was… different…
      No strict classes as such, though most people specialised one way or another. As such, you’d only have a dedicated healer in the party if you were lucky enough to know someone who voluntarily specialised in it (they tend to be VERY appreciated though). Folk in Mabinogi are generally expected to keep themselves alive, unless they’re up against insurmountable odds (in which case there is generally a healer just outside the room, healing them up from outside aggro-range).

  9. Katlamos
    Katlamos
    July 24, 2013, 3:30 am | # | Reply

    It’s not a throw-down, it’s a kneel-down.

  10. FreeRegent
    FreeRegent
    July 24, 2013, 4:08 am | # | Reply

    Oh *hell* yes. Time for everybody to remember why Badass McLeaderpants was in charge in the first place. Speech! Speech! Speech!

    • Mujaki
      Mujaki
      July 24, 2013, 5:12 am | # | Reply

      Cue the slow-to-start, rousing orchestral build up!

  11. Tavis
    Tavis
    July 24, 2013, 4:12 am | # | Reply

    “… then take an arrow to it. Excellent, now we can all be guards!”

    • Dudefellaguy
      Dudefellaguy
      July 24, 2013, 5:59 am | # | Reply

      Bravo

  12. Doma
    Doma
    July 24, 2013, 8:49 am | # | Reply

    Is Byron’s sleeve is eating Bandit’s face (or vice versa)?

    • Ishmael
      Ishmael
      July 24, 2013, 9:12 am | # | Reply

      All traditional garb from Battleshire is made of bacon.

      • Jean-Luc
        Jean-Luc
        July 24, 2013, 12:16 pm | # | Reply

        Actually Byron’s suit was white when he entered the hall.

        • Ishmael
          Ishmael
          July 24, 2013, 1:06 pm | # | Reply

          Pork chops. He took the jacket off.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      July 24, 2013, 10:19 am | # | Reply

      … Can’t unsee.

  13. Mordecai
    Mordecai
    July 24, 2013, 2:52 pm | # | Reply

    “Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. A day may come when the courage of men fails. This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you’re gonna let it be the worst. Well, I’m not going home. The line must be drawn HERE. Soldiers! Don’t give yourselves to brutes! Men who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think, what to feel! You’re like a big bear with claws and with fangs! He pulls a knife, you pull an trebuchet! That’s the Gastonia way! We few! We happy few! They may take our lives, but they’ll never take Spartacus! Because I’m Spartacus!”

    “I’m Spartacus!”

    “Shut up! I’m talking here, I’m talking here!”

    “I know Kung Fu!”

    “No one cares!”

    “Leave Britney alone!”

    “I’m not gonna leave Britney alone. I want her to get mad! What we’ve got here is failure to communicate! You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Is it safe? It comes down to a simple choice, get busy living, or get busy dying! Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. And as God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again! That’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and you can’t handle the truth! So cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!”

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      July 24, 2013, 7:11 pm | # | Reply

      I’d charge to that.

  14. moirla
    moirla
    July 25, 2013, 5:58 am | # | Reply

    New Characters! N’tlygolas (Sad N’tlygolas is sad), Pensive the Rogue, Pouty Paddy (an alliterative nickname for Padfoot), Genyrick the half elf, and Bigote the Red!

  15. Drakkoniss
    Drakkoniss
    October 12, 2013, 10:21 am | # | Reply

    … Those are the most beautifully sad-faced adventurers I’ve seen in a long time. ._.

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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