You’re implying that someone recently invented a race shorter than gnomes?
Actually, given that this is an MMORPG, that would almost make sense. Maybe the new expansion introduced gnobbits, which are to gnomes what hobbits are to humans.
Advertising Slogans include:
“Once you Gnob, you can’t stop”
“Gnobbit to me!”
“They’re Gnobbit-forming”
“Enter your natural Gnobbit-at”, and
“Gnobbits! not fatal!”
The original verse is “ding, dong, ding, dong” so at least syllable-wise it fits. I do realize it might be tricky to actually sing at full speed, though. :)
Took me a while to find a midi version of Carol of the Bells to sing along to (since the rest of my carol of the bells all have vocals). And yes, “Thwick Thwack Snick Snack” is likely the most difficult part of that song, though “All prayers made” only works if you says “prayers” as two syllables, rather than the customary one (I got around it by doing “All prayers are made”
Um…prayer IS two syllables? I realize a lot of people pronounce it prare, but nonetheless, technically it IS two. Not to mention there are a lot of instances in the English lyrics (the song is originally Ukrainian) of single syllable words being sung over two notes.
Heh, heh, heh. But truth be told, English encourages laziness in its pronunciation (for the simple sake of practicality), and we all say “pray-er” and “Wend-sday” rather than “praa-y-er” and “Wed-ens-day.”
I lengthened the sounds to the first “thwick” and “snick” to a stutter-type sound and was able to get through that verse fairly easily. But then again, it is entirely possible I matched it to the wrong verse in the real song.
A Gold Star is awarded to comments that I deem worthy that no one has suggested I award a Gold Star to.
Gold Stars are just supposed to be a special nod of approval from me (or T or John) of my own volition. If one or some of you guys influence that, or begin to make a habit thereof, the whole point of the thing is diminished.
So, yeah, I’ll never give a Gold Star to a comment where someone else has suggested that I do so. Never have, never will. Sorry! It’s the only way to keep the experience pure.
Glad you liked it! If you hadn’t picked a set of races to so serendipitously fit together for the opening rhyme, it would never have happened. The rest of the song just flowed out after I pieced that together.
“Man, it was one foggy Axemas eve. I was out hunting, but couldn’t see a damn thing. Then I caught that freak of a reindeer glowing through the fog. I was afraid the kids were going to starve, but that guy saved Axemas and no mistake.”
Violent night
Bloody night
All will charge
All will fight
Round those corpses lately defiled
Foe face foe to each other reviled
Hate only death can release
Hate only death can release
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the fourth Day of Axemas
my Guildy gave to me
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the fifth day of Axemas
my Guildy gave to me
FIVE RINGS OF POWER!
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the sixth day of Axemas
my guildy gave to me
Six bandits stealing
FIVE RINGS OF POWER!
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the seventh day of Axemas
my Guildy gave to me
Seven spears a-slaying
Six bandits stealing
FIVE RINGS OF POWER!
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the eighth day of Axemas
my Guildy gave to me
Eight birdmen flying
Seven spears a-slaying
Six bandits stealing
FIVE RINGS OF POWER!
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the First Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
An Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Second Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Third Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Fourth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Fifth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Sixth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Seventh Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Eighth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Ninth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Nine Boughs of Graiya
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Tenth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Ten Savage Drummers
Nine Boughs of Graiya
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Eleventh Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Eleven Elven Lords
Ten Savage Drummers
Nine Boughs of Graiya
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Twelfth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Twelve Dire Bears!
Eleven Elven Lords
Ten Savage Drummers
Nine Boughs of Graiya
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree!
I was just going through the archives for stuff in the above songs, and I misread something one of the cultists said as: “The mullet totally told me to do it.”
Yes, but it absolutely makes sense, don’t you see?
You think Mullet is totally legit, ‘cos he’s all, like, business in front, right?
But he’s totally playin’ you, Dude, ‘cos he’s like, all party in the back. He’s up to no good, Man. I wunnent trust ‘im.
Midget makeouts. Most mastically magnificent.
Merry mastication of marmalade, muffins, and the meat of marmosets?
Marmalade?
“Voulez vous couchez avec moi?”
Ce soir
Oog.. Andrew, I think I prefer “marmElade,” thanks. The other one gives me French ‘flu.
While not a midget, sounds like a holiday I would actually endorse.
Mystical mysteries manifest a most merry mating.
Masters of Mirth, Merriment, and Misogyny.
Clearly the shortest day of the year is a day custom-made for gnomes.
No, but it use to be.
I think the next plot has been foreshadowed.
You’re implying that someone recently invented a race shorter than gnomes?
Actually, given that this is an MMORPG, that would almost make sense. Maybe the new expansion introduced gnobbits, which are to gnomes what hobbits are to humans.
Gnobbits. Sounds like a snack.
Eyucchh! *No*. It sounds like what one spits up when sick with a chest cold.
Advertising Slogans include:
“Once you Gnob, you can’t stop”
“Gnobbit to me!”
“They’re Gnobbit-forming”
“Enter your natural Gnobbit-at”, and
“Gnobbits! not fatal!”
I imagine something like chocolate-covered Keebler elves.
Yeah, they stopped making chocolate-covered Keebler elves, when OSHA made them add safeguards to the production line.
Orc, goblin, gnoll,
Dwarf, birdman, troll,
All seem to say,
“Throw life away”
Axemas is here
Bringing good cheer
To young and old
Who kill kobolds
Thwick, thwack, snick, snack
As we attack
With sharpened blades
All prayers made
One seems to hear
Snapping of spears
Through them we cleave
‘Til they all leave
Oh how they run
Battle is won
Savages slain
Cleft through their brains
Gaily we’re chopping
No thought of stopping
Give us a beer
Axemas is here
Merry, merry, merry, merry Axemas
Merry, merry, merry, merry Axemas
On, on we swing
While caroling
Hewing a tone
Right through the bone
[Repeat from beginning]
The meter for that third verse doesn’t seem to match up with the source, but otherwise…sweet jebus, I wish I could write filks like that.
I’m having trouble saying “thwick thwack snick snack” at speed. Nice little tongue-twister.
The original verse is “ding, dong, ding, dong” so at least syllable-wise it fits. I do realize it might be tricky to actually sing at full speed, though. :)
Took me a while to find a midi version of Carol of the Bells to sing along to (since the rest of my carol of the bells all have vocals). And yes, “Thwick Thwack Snick Snack” is likely the most difficult part of that song, though “All prayers made” only works if you says “prayers” as two syllables, rather than the customary one (I got around it by doing “All prayers are made”
Um…prayer IS two syllables? I realize a lot of people pronounce it prare, but nonetheless, technically it IS two. Not to mention there are a lot of instances in the English lyrics (the song is originally Ukrainian) of single syllable words being sung over two notes.
Alright, before anyone corrects me, I looked it up and let be just say that Merriam Webster is WRONG…HMPH.
The pedants are revolting! :-)
Heh, heh, heh. But truth be told, English encourages laziness in its pronunciation (for the simple sake of practicality), and we all say “pray-er” and “Wend-sday” rather than “praa-y-er” and “Wed-ens-day.”
Pedant THAT! (Boomf!)
I always thought that saying it as two syllables made it a different word. As in, a pray-er is a person saying a prayer.
I lengthened the sounds to the first “thwick” and “snick” to a stutter-type sound and was able to get through that verse fairly easily. But then again, it is entirely possible I matched it to the wrong verse in the real song.
If this isn’t a gold star, I don’t know what is.
A Gold Star is awarded to comments that I deem worthy that no one has suggested I award a Gold Star to.
Gold Stars are just supposed to be a special nod of approval from me (or T or John) of my own volition. If one or some of you guys influence that, or begin to make a habit thereof, the whole point of the thing is diminished.
So, yeah, I’ll never give a Gold Star to a comment where someone else has suggested that I do so. Never have, never will. Sorry! It’s the only way to keep the experience pure.
Auriferous Accolade!
Or not. :-(
It’s true. I’ve looked :D
I love this. Thanks for keeping up with the spirit of Axemas!
Glad you liked it! If you hadn’t picked a set of races to so serendipitously fit together for the opening rhyme, it would never have happened. The rest of the song just flowed out after I pieced that together.
Am I the only one who notices Rudolph’s head on the wall?
“Man, it was one foggy Axemas eve. I was out hunting, but couldn’t see a damn thing. Then I caught that freak of a reindeer glowing through the fog. I was afraid the kids were going to starve, but that guy saved Axemas and no mistake.”
Nope.
Nope.
This is like a Zen koan.
Oh, deer.
That mace looks a little….banged up.
It was the mace used by Damet, the first rage-paladin, to bean the Iron King upside the head. It’s more of a sentimental gift than a practical one.
You kidding? The more bumps and scratchy bits, the better!
Damet was deified, after his passing, so now he’s the God Damet. (Which makes his mace extra special)
Oh this is going to be the cheesiest, won’t it. Like, every animated holiday movie combined.
Add in a little bit of the Star Wars Holiday Special for good measure.
Bandit -> Byron,
Byron -> E-merl,
E-merl -> Frigg,
Frigg -> Gravedust,
Gravedust -> Rachel,
Rachel -> Scipio,
Scipio -> Syr’Nj,
Syr’Nj -> Bandit?
Byron Syr’Nj…
Now it’s Rachel -> everyone…
Should have been
Byron Syr'Nj,.Frakkin' html...
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Double headed arrow between Byron and Syr’Nj. “code” didn’t do it…
Any kind of head arrows around Syr’Nj may be considered in poor taste.
Too soon?
Gold Star.
Pretty much. But there’s one more in the mix you forgot!
Obviously Bandit bought a gift for Best, since the wonderful spirit of Axemas will bring him back.
Or it might be just Kur’Ik…
I figure that Gravedust could probably make something very thoughtful for Kur’Ik, what with being close to the dearly departed.
Kur’Ik might be able to surprise Rachel, too.
Where is Fr’Nj now, BTW?
New chapter, new gravatar?
Aww, looks like we’ll have to wait for the next “real” chapter.
Unfortunately, yes. Didn’t have time to work it out so soon. Besides, I gotta give you guys something to look forward to on Chapter Cover updates.
On the plus side, however, there’ll be a few extras mixed in from this here Axemas special, too!
Dwarf and gnome battle royal to the death!
Stuffed Bear-monster is totally photobombing panel four. Go dead bears!
Pedobear going after Scipio?
Looks like Frigg waited till the last minute to do her Axemas chopping…
They should have a Frigg Friday, now that’d be a black day.
Is that mistletoe that Gravedust is sitting under?
Pretty sure it’s holly, but who knows what traditions Arkerra might have about meeting under sprigs or garlands of holly?
They have a saying :
Mistle-toe : Kiss yer beau
Twig of Holly : Let’s get Jolly
Violent night
Bloody night
All will charge
All will fight
Round those corpses lately defiled
Foe face foe to each other reviled
Hate only death can release
Hate only death can release
Now someone else start the 12 Days of Axemas.
This would make holiday caroling so much more interesting…
We wish you a Merry Axemas
We wish you a Merry Axemas
We wish you a Merry Axemas
And a Choppy new year!
On the first day of Axemas
My Guildy gave to me
A potion of Anti-Zerk-ing
On the second day of Axemas
My Guildy gave to me
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking
On the third day of Axemas
My Guildy gave to me
Three TPKs
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of anti-zerking
On the third day of Axemas
My Guildy gave to me
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the fourth Day of Axemas
my Guildy gave to me
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the fifth day of Axemas
my Guildy gave to me
FIVE RINGS OF POWER!
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the sixth day of Axemas
my guildy gave to me
Six bandits stealing
FIVE RINGS OF POWER!
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the seventh day of Axemas
my Guildy gave to me
Seven spears a-slaying
Six bandits stealing
FIVE RINGS OF POWER!
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
On the eighth day of Axemas
my Guildy gave to me
Eight birdmen flying
Seven spears a-slaying
Six bandits stealing
FIVE RINGS OF POWER!
Four Gnomish Daggers
Three reindeer heads
Two tiny hatchets
And a potion of Anti-Zerking.
And after all that, there were still four parts left to go to complete the fetch quest!
Oooo! These are cool!
I’m guessing the first two days are omitted due to post length restrictions?
*Looks ONE POST FURTHER UP*
*facepalm*
I should’ve looked one post down.
*facepalm*
lol yep
Dammit! It didn’t post!
Lemme try again
On the First Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
An Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Second Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Third Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Fourth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Fifth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Sixth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Seventh Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Eighth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Ninth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Nine Boughs of Graiya
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Tenth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Ten Savage Drummers
Nine Boughs of Graiya
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Eleventh Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Eleven Elven Lords
Ten Savage Drummers
Nine Boughs of Graiya
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree.
On the Twelfth Day of Axemas, my True Love gave to me
Twelve Dire Bears!
Eleven Elven Lords
Ten Savage Drummers
Nine Boughs of Graiya
Eight Fuzzy Peoples
Seven Swords a-swinging
Six Trolls a-slaying
Five Kegs of Mead!
Four Smiting maces
Three Gnomish tanks
Two Kobold skins
And an Avian in an Oak tree!
YAAAYYY!!!
Finally!
Now to check what I’ve missed this past 20 mins! 30?
Welp. Looks like my internet problems took much longer than half an hour.
Yeesh.
Alright, maggPi! High five!
That’s awesome. I wrestled with the lyrics for a couple hours, but I couldn’t manage anything nearly as catchy.
Thank you! It was fun!
My daughter liked it too.. Said she’s proud! (*sniff* wipes away tear)
ok yours was better.
On an unrelated note, guys; I started a tumblr account…
Amazing moments in misreading:
I was just going through the archives for stuff in the above songs, and I misread something one of the cultists said as: “The mullet totally told me to do it.”
o_O
Coiffurist fhtagn.
Yes, but it absolutely makes sense, don’t you see?
You think Mullet is totally legit, ‘cos he’s all, like, business in front, right?
But he’s totally playin’ you, Dude, ‘cos he’s like, all party in the back. He’s up to no good, Man. I wunnent trust ‘im.
Not since…the accident.