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New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

I am suddenly filled with the urge to invent Stoogepunk.

Chapter 17 – Page 2

on June 1, 2012
Chapter: Chapter 17
└ Tags: Bandit, Byron, E-Merl, Frigg, Gr'Zl, Gravedust, Rachel, Scipio, Syr'Nj
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Discussion (78) ¬

  1. Moe Lane
    Moe Lane
    June 1, 2012, 12:02 am | # | Reply

    I feel that this represents poor planning on the archer’s part.

    • Ishmael
      Ishmael
      June 1, 2012, 12:38 am | # | Reply

      No, poor planning is Rachel wearing white in the rain.

      • Yahtzee
        Yahtzee
        June 3, 2012, 6:09 am | # | Reply

        I’m pretty sure E-Merl will not complain.

        • Bob
          Bob
          June 6, 2012, 12:21 pm | # | Reply

          oh my

  2. Joe
    Joe
    June 1, 2012, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    This… “stoogepunk”…
    …Will there be pie-based technology?

    • The Indomitable Eric
      The Indomitable Eric
      June 1, 2012, 12:31 pm | # | Reply

      No, engines now run on Nyuks. It takes roughly 250,000 kilonyuks to power your average city.

      • Miyaa
        Miyaa
        June 1, 2012, 4:14 pm | # | Reply

        And your city leader: A Wiseguy. Seriously, this would make an excellent Civilization V mod.

        • zero
          zero
          June 1, 2012, 5:08 pm | # | Reply

          Unfortunately, you’re not allowed to achieve a Cultural victory. However you do get the ability to retreat from combat when wounded, thanks to Scuttling.

          • maggPi
            maggPi
            June 3, 2012, 1:35 pm | # | Reply

            Oh, man… This has already happened to the city of Toronto. Twice, in recent history.
            A while back, it was Mel Lastman. And now we’ve got Rob Ford, the unbelievably hokey sitcom villain.
            It looks better on paper, folks.

            (…and, no; I haven’t forgotten that we had a decent mayor in between the clowns…)

            Oh, Cog! Somebody cheer me up! Sob!

    • dr pepper
      dr pepper
      June 4, 2012, 4:25 am | # | Reply

      But can a civilizationm truly call itself enlightened and retain slapital punishment?

  3. 1d4caltrop
    1d4caltrop
    June 1, 2012, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    The energy caused by Bandit slamming into Gravedust will now be transmitted through the rest of the party, resulting in Byron being tossed backwards while the rest of the party stays stationary. Byron will reach the apex of his movement before traveling back to strike E-Merl, transmitting the energy back through the party and into Bandit who will then swing out and fall back, starting the cycle over again. The process will continue until someone gets tired of hearing the party members clacking together.

    • Sola
      Sola
      June 1, 2012, 2:50 am | # | Reply

      Okay, first post just to say: i lolled.

  4. coldelectrons
    coldelectrons
    June 1, 2012, 12:12 am | # | Reply

    Can diplomacy wait until after we’ve pulled the fletchings off this archer?

    • plaintextman
      plaintextman
      June 2, 2012, 12:06 pm | # | Reply

      Seconded.

    • Mujaki
      Mujaki
      June 2, 2012, 6:33 pm | # | Reply

      Now, now. While it may go against your instincts, there ARE times when it is more advantageous to roll diplomacy than to roll initiative.

      • SteelRaven
        SteelRaven
        June 2, 2012, 11:10 pm | # | Reply

        Besides, you can always kill ’em later.

  5. SteelRaven
    SteelRaven
    June 1, 2012, 12:24 am | # | Reply

    You may want to tell Gr’ly what happens to guys that make Scipio drop his cigar.

    • Randonimity
      Randonimity
      June 1, 2012, 2:38 am | # | Reply

      I eagerly await for Scipio himself to demonstrate what happens when you make him drop his cigar 8D

  6. Thor
    Thor
    June 1, 2012, 12:33 am | # | Reply

    I would have thought the arrow would have been a bit bloodier after having passed through Scipio’s head like that.

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      June 1, 2012, 1:43 am | # | Reply

      If it went through his head, instead of grazing his cheekbone, I daresay Scipio will be a tad peeved.

      • Hawk
        Hawk
        June 1, 2012, 9:35 am | # | Reply

        Looks to me like it clipped his ear.

        Also, who knew Bandit could kick like that?? Nice leg strength there :P

        • Kharn
          Kharn
          June 1, 2012, 10:46 am | # | Reply

          I too thought it clipped Scipio’s ear, but that he’s the only character not exclaiming makes me worry… (Then again he’s usually taciturn…)

          • Kharn
            Kharn
            June 1, 2012, 10:49 am | # | Reply

            What the hell is this? Why is my avatar a mutant elf?!? Fuuu-

            • Andreas
              Andreas
              June 1, 2012, 11:11 am | # | Reply

              Kharn, you’re a troll!!!

          • Dove
            Dove
            June 1, 2012, 11:59 am | # | Reply

            It’s possible the loss of the cigar WAS his exclamation. And besides, he had it securely in his teeth. It’s possible it simply softened the sound of him being winded before it fell out.

            • maggPi
              maggPi
              June 3, 2012, 1:45 pm | # | Reply

              Hmmm…. It appears that Kharn and I are long-lost sisters. Of the identical twin variety.

              I predict a subplot involving tension with identity crises (that’s the plural form of ‘crisis,’ folks, in case anyone is about to correct me), ending with a precarious reconciliation.

              • maggPi
                maggPi
                June 3, 2012, 1:48 pm | # | Reply

                (excuse the double-post)

                I believe Kharn is the elder sibling, as I am later to post/get new-chapter avatar.

                HAH! I’ve always wanted an older sister! Hey-ya, Sis! Hyuk, hyuk!

  7. Val Hallen
    Val Hallen
    June 1, 2012, 12:42 am | # | Reply

    Oh great. Now Scipio’s going to have to wear an eyepatch. Nobody’s going to be able to beat him now.

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      June 1, 2012, 1:43 am | # | Reply

      Eyepatch, cigar, S.H.I.E.L.D … it’s all coming together.

      • BarGamer
        BarGamer
        June 1, 2012, 2:24 am | # | Reply

        Lemme know when Frigg goes Looney Tunes on a disgraced god, and finishes him off with a witty quip.

        • Nathanyel
          Nathanyel
          June 1, 2012, 2:59 am | # | Reply

          Puny Elf.

      • HLY
        HLY
        June 1, 2012, 10:30 am | # | Reply

        that was great. and the avatar just acentuates it too XD

      • gangler
        gangler
        June 1, 2012, 2:48 pm | # | Reply

        Byron: Hulk
        Syrnj: Iron Man
        Frigg: Thor
        Gravedust: Hawkeye
        Bandit: Black Widow

        And hey, I’m willing to let E-Merle be Pym and Rachel be Wasp. I gotta say this checks out.

        • Dustin
          Dustin
          June 2, 2012, 7:53 am | # | Reply

          The question then becomes who is Cap?

          • Joe
            Joe
            June 2, 2012, 5:59 pm | # | Reply

            Ardaic?

            • Phil
              Phil
              June 2, 2012, 10:17 pm | # | Reply

              I’ll allow it.

        • Yahtzee
          Yahtzee
          June 3, 2012, 6:12 am | # | Reply

          Hey, what about Scipio ?

    • Garygolf
      Garygolf
      June 2, 2012, 3:27 am | # | Reply

      Clearly he is just drawing aggro like the boss he is.

  8. Fairportfan
    Fairportfan
    June 1, 2012, 1:09 am | # | Reply

    Yay Bandit!

  9. Lupo
    Lupo
    June 1, 2012, 2:58 am | # | Reply

    That’s a pretty good rank in spot Bandit has….

  10. Darchias
    Darchias
    June 1, 2012, 3:52 am | # | Reply

    *gasp* Not Scipio’s sideburn! Why did they have to attack Scipio’s sideburn!?!

    • Hertzyscowicz
      Hertzyscowicz
      June 1, 2012, 8:12 am | # | Reply

      The only part in his body that won’t autonomously break you in two if you attack it?

      • Syncline
        Syncline
        June 1, 2012, 6:32 pm | # | Reply

        The archer THOUGHT that… but he was wrong. Painfully, fatally wrong.

  11. zero
    zero
    June 1, 2012, 7:01 am | # | Reply

    I thought Syr’nj was excessively tall for a moment in her right side flashback

    • Phil
      Phil
      June 1, 2012, 8:54 am | # | Reply

      Fuuuuuuuuck can’t unsee.

      • Andreas
        Andreas
        June 1, 2012, 11:16 am | # | Reply

        I was thinking, why is she a caterpillar? What an eccentric elf.

        • NikkoJT
          NikkoJT
          June 1, 2012, 11:32 am | # | Reply

          I thought she was playing, like in the panel on the other side of her head- pretending to be a totem pole or something.

          • LadyDragon
            LadyDragon
            June 1, 2012, 1:08 pm | # | Reply

            Yes, I was going to ask if elves grew from trees…

            • zero
              zero
              June 1, 2012, 5:09 pm | # | Reply

              Pantskat, meet Tallsyrnj

  12. Dotcom
    Dotcom
    June 1, 2012, 7:31 am | # | Reply

    Oh, wait. So the archer is Syr’nj’s ex? Well that explains the big frown on the other page.

    • maggPi
      maggPi
      June 3, 2012, 1:55 pm | # | Reply

      OH!!! She’s pissed-off at him cos he used the same pet-name he used with his ex-girlfriennnnnd! What a total DOUCHE! I bet Syr’nj broke up with him just like this lady’s about to!

      ohohohoh and oh! I also bet that he uses the same pet-name for ALL his girlfriends so he doesn’t hafta remember their names (or call out the wrong one at JUST that moment)!!!!

  13. Jean-Luc
    Jean-Luc
    June 1, 2012, 9:30 am | # | Reply

    Nice touch with Syr’s rain drop/tear in panel 2.

  14. The Indomitable Eric
    The Indomitable Eric
    June 1, 2012, 10:28 am | # | Reply

    “The dwarf breathes so lout we could have shot him in the OH MY GOD GHOST ARROWS.”

  15. Dove
    Dove
    June 1, 2012, 12:03 pm | # | Reply

    I guess everyone lines up suddenly whenever they’re told they’re getting close to their goal. (Could’ve sworn they were spread out across before Bandit did her dash backwards.) Still, cute. XD

    • Schlock
      Schlock
      June 1, 2012, 10:07 pm | # | Reply

      Perhaps they’re british and just love to queue.

      • Mujaki
        Mujaki
        June 2, 2012, 6:37 pm | # | Reply

        More pew pew, less queue queue.

        • Jaang
          Jaang
          June 2, 2012, 10:51 pm | # | Reply

          lol

  16. Veggieburrito
    Veggieburrito
    June 1, 2012, 12:33 pm | # | Reply

    Spidey sense was tingling.

  17. Oz
    Oz
    June 1, 2012, 3:16 pm | # | Reply

    How many bonus points does Scipio get for losing a cigar when attacking the elf? Or would that be an AC penalty for the elf when facing Scipio? These new rules are so confusing…

    • WhuhIget
      WhuhIget
      June 1, 2012, 5:25 pm | # | Reply

      Scipio gets ‘Advantage’

  18. hopeless
    hopeless
    June 1, 2012, 3:44 pm | # | Reply

    Oi you!
    That was a green arrow, ever heard of friend or foe?!
    No?
    Oh…

    • Tyris
      Tyris
      June 1, 2012, 6:15 pm | # | Reply

      Can’t be, it didn’t have a boxing glove on the end.

  19. LurkingTroll
    LurkingTroll
    June 1, 2012, 4:16 pm | # | Reply

    Full-stop. Bandit is a great speedbump.

  20. Deelinox
    Deelinox
    June 1, 2012, 6:39 pm | # | Reply

    Gnomes are pretty strong for their size. (Assuming this world is WoW-like)
    An average Gnome can leap on top of a table that is almost their height. That’s like a human having a 5′ vertical leap. What Bandit’s backward leap lacks in mass, it would make up in acceleration.

  21. Kathleen
    Kathleen
    June 1, 2012, 9:58 pm | # | Reply

    I love that Scipio was the only one to not make a sound at all.

  22. The Guestimator
    The Guestimator
    June 2, 2012, 1:22 am | # | Reply

    That’s a nut in the fruit basket..

    or a fruit in the nuts.. basket.. either way, its a shell of a thing to do to a guy.

    Also.. da size of dat arrow !!!!one1!!!

    • maggPi
      maggPi
      June 3, 2012, 2:01 pm | # | Reply

      uuuummmmmm…. triplets? I ….have ….TWO older sisters? (goin-into-shock-now)

  23. Rolan7
    Rolan7
    June 2, 2012, 12:07 pm | # | Reply

    Looks like she spotted him just in the… NICK of time! 8)

  24. Yinello
    Yinello
    June 2, 2012, 4:05 pm | # | Reply

    When alone and encountering a group of 8 in a dark forest, obviously the best tactic is to attempt to kill one with an arrow.

    • Mujaki
      Mujaki
      June 2, 2012, 6:50 pm | # | Reply

      No, no. He wasn’t trying to “kill one with an arrow.” He was going to try to kill SIX with an arrow! They were all lined up, he was going to try for a super penetrating multiple headshot. Through Sry’nj’s jaw, Scipio’s heart, Frigg’s forehead, and then dead center on Rachel, E-Merl, and Bryon. Only Bandit and Gravedust would have survived, since they’re below the line of fire. When Bandit jumped she knocked everybody back, but also down, bringing everyone’s head below the trajectory of the arrow. Only Scipio, as the tallest, was still injured.

      • Snowblind
        Snowblind
        June 2, 2012, 11:04 pm | # | Reply

        If there was a grassy gnoll anywhere nearby, no one would would believe e one arrow theory.

        • centuriancode
          centuriancode
          June 3, 2012, 4:41 am | # | Reply

          possibly even a knoll?

      • Yinello
        Yinello
        June 3, 2012, 1:31 pm | # | Reply

        Multiracial hero shish-ka-bob! He’ll need a longer arrow for the second attempt though.

  25. maggPi
    maggPi
    June 3, 2012, 2:10 pm | # | Reply

    I though “kebob” meant “beef,” and “tawook” meant “chicken.” If human(oid) is “long pork,” doesn’t it mean that the shish dinner is not halaal, and therefore unclean? Dietary restrictions, people! One must not offer offensive food to one’s guests.

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      June 3, 2012, 6:41 pm | # | Reply

      Let me tell ya, if they get killed now, they’ll be SPINNING in their graves!

      • Andreas
        Andreas
        June 3, 2012, 6:41 pm | # | Reply

        Spinning, as in Döner…

  26. marbles
    marbles
    June 3, 2012, 9:22 pm | # | Reply

    Gr’zl is clearly a shit elf. He can’t shoot worth a damn.

  27. Suki
    Suki
    June 5, 2012, 5:11 pm | # | Reply

    Cling! Clang! Clong!

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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