New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
As far as reasons why nobody wants to fuck you go that one’s pretty great.
Frigg totally wants him
Scip: *ungrateful dame*
Frigg: *must prove I’m better’n him… then bed him*
Rachel: *giggle*…*I want her so bad*
Byron: *I miss my #@!!$# axes*
I dunno… Byron seems to be doing just fine with the battlefield ‘pick-ups’.
(And there’s no shortage of spares as he goes along.)
Yup… I sense jealousy… and denial.
A yummy combination.
Just wait until she meets up with the new Best in a few pages. Maybe his drums will get her to change her tune.
>in a few pages.
Things are still mostly fine, no shakes or anything, but I’m feelin’ a Best withdrawal coming on. I’m really hoping there’s a nice Payet fix not toooo far down the line. There’s a few asses still left that PB hasn’t tapped yet and they’re itchin’ for it.
Ew. Itching? Really? That’s very …not good.
And… @ Phil; I really hope that’s not a spoiler alert.
Phil, isn’t your wish the artist’s command?
Well, there’s the story to consider.
You can be certain that Payet Best would not return unless it is dramatically appropriate to do so.
Now is not one of those times, I’m afraid.
He’s the Payet ex Machina…
Frigg x Penk, anyone?
Is Timmi…..saluting?! Cute! But any more would be too Ewokky.
Krkk rikk tikk tikkk krickety kk! (=squirrels, rabbits, doves, all other vegans follow me deep in the wood; all carnivores, run towards and into the big fire. No, TRUST me!)
Hmmm…. In elementary school, we were taught that these creatures are herbivores. If we are gonna re-classify them as vegans, would it be also accurate to sub-classify them as raw-foodists?
Their swords are no match for log-based technology!
And remember, Timmi: when in doubt, go for the eyes.
That’s something every miniature giant forest hamster knows instinctually.
Gah, squirrel! Miniature giant forest squirrel!
“…Gonads and Strife…”
Just stay away from those wells, Timmi.
Timmi? But where’s Kronk?
If this was Dwarf Fortress (in it’s current incarnation) that troll would heal, but not necessarily with his guts back inside where they should be…resulting in various kinds of Fun.
Someday I’m gonna figure out why posting replies to where I don’t want them sometimes happens.
The server recognizes your icon, and is trying to give you something to complain about?
Hahaha! I love the idea that that’s possible! Annoying for coldelectrons if true, but damn funny!
Lord, Byron, you sure have guts!
Don’t axe him about consonants, but he knows his bowels.
His new weapons are totally sickle!
“Omigawwd… D’you, like, have IBS?”
“Yes. (beat) No, you idiot! I have a *sword* in my gut! It was that berserker guy he—- gcckkkxx! Blearg! Ugh.” (expires)
You put your swordblade in
They put their insides out
You put your swordblade in
and you shake it all about
You do the penetralia pokey
’till the battle’s turned around
That’s what it’s all about.
It’s just a cut to the left
And then a stab to the right
Slice his hands and his hips
And lop his knees off tight
But it’s the pelvic thrust
That really neuters him ta-a-a-ame,
Let’s do the troll warp again!
I was cooped in, my only sin
carrying my axes afore
I thought there’s no use getting into blood-letting
It only leads to trouble and pants-wetting…
Now all I want to know is where’d Syr’Nj go?
I’ve tasted sillibus and I want more
I’ve gained ‘zerk resistance, I want to stay the distance
I’ve got an troll to dispatch, I need assistance:
Buffa buffa buffa buff me, I want STR 30
heal me swift me stoneskin me
Science me tonight.
I got the first two, but I have no idea what this third one is parodying.
Janet’s verse of “Toucha Toouch Me” from Rocky Horror
Let me continue with the other RHPS songs…we’ll see if I can’t evoke mental images of our favorite GA characters in fishnets.
WOOOO!! Gold, star-shaped condoms all around!
I do NOT want to know what those are designed to fit.
I do not want this image of Unsounded’s Starfish in fishnets, thank you very much.
Please take it back!
It seems to me that Bryon is.. (puts shades on) making a gut check right now.
You’re intestine my patience
I just realized I said “urine testing”
Wonder what sort of plants they’re growing out there
Next time someone posts a comment involving application or removal of shades, I expect a David Caruso impression, thank you! (“Horatio Caine’s da man, y’all!”)
Seriously… I’m pretty sure Gravedust could pull off that impression quite successfully.
Frigg’s right about the first rule of fight club.
whuta kind n’me is GR’ZL?? ‘nd who da fuck is he???
Gr’Zl is a guardian of the forest’s borders, a mighty hunter, and somewhat of an unsufferable egotist. We first meet him here:
He’s fo’ gr’zl, my n’zls.
Go for the Optic Timmi! Go for the… ah…
Man, I’m having Squirrel Girl flashbacks. Get ‘em, Tippy-Toe!
Glad I’m not the only one.
Never heard of em – but some cursory internet research later, I’m thinking that’s either got to be intentional, or it’s an uncanny coincidence. Probably intentional, I think.
Fr’Nj referring to the citizens as wood elves seems funny to me, like if I greeted everyone with “whats up, human”.
So many fantasy games do this. If you have the option of choosing a race, you always end up with all the other humans in the bar going ‘Hello, human’ like they’re surprised to see another one.
Hello, fellow human. I am a human just like you, and not a horror from beyond space and time wearing the flayed skin of one of your kind!
Yeah, pull the other one, it’s got bells on.
…Why would you tie bells onto a flayed human skin?
Where else would you tie bells?
Rachel is laughing in the middle of a full-scale battle. The bredth of her badassery never ceases to surprise me.
Freud says you’re a little obsessed with her bad ass and breadths.
Don’t even get started on Scip’s cigar.
Sometimes a cigar is just a HUGE PENIS!
I figured she was goading Frigg into using her super glowy mace shit. Wasn’t it sorta established when they trained together that pissing Frigg off is her glowy trigger?
No, it’s funny because Scipio just got propositioned in the last 10 or so strips.
(singsong voice) “Rach knows sumptin’ Frigg don’t know! (Omg! Lols!)”
Axes?? Who needs em?
How long before the bad guys realise the beserker is heading their way given how their best warrior reacted the last time do you think they’ll panic once they see him?
Yes indeed. Some may also remember how they all apparently failed to kill him. *That*’s gonna make’em think twice.
Iunno. I get the feeling this is one big setup for The Four to all converge on the Summoning Circle, just as someone says “You are too late, Peacemakers! Now behold, as I call forth TEUTONICUS!”
And then they’re all: “Oh Crap! I meant tectonicus. Oh well. We got a larger-than-normal Teuton instead.”
I might be plenty afraid of Teutonicus – I mean look what they managed in the first half of the twentieth century on this planet.
Love panel 5.
Just got caught up after having been gone for a long, long time. Like, before the big reveal of them being in a game long time.
Love the way this comic has evolved over the years. Seems pretty obvious that Best and Keynes are played by the same person somehow. Kinda curious how that works.
I’m guessing that Harky is one of the non-embedded PCs. I’ve been going over actions trying to figure out who outside the Five are real people and who are NPCs. Pretty sure I’ve got them all nailed down.
“The animals must be saved as well. Lead them to safety, Timmi.”
So, does that include the Avians? And the Land Sharks? How about the Gnolls?
That just doesn’t hold up in practice. Deer are too stupid to live – put headlights on something and they will take off at a dead run from a mile away just to jump in front of it. And possums? Too stupid – and tough – to die. The pea-brain herbivores would run towards danger, and the pea-brain marsupials would be blindly scurrying around, underfoot and everywhere.
Timmi, just spread the word to everyone except the deer and possums, and get the hell outta Dodge.
What’s that Timmi? A Landshark fell down the well?
There’s too many animals in the forest for just him to save,
We’re Gonna Need Another Timmi!
borrow one from The Lords Of The Underworld?
But they almost have the complete set now!
Do you know how long it took to collect them with that stupid dog interfering.
Byron looks ten times more badass in the fifth panel than he has in a while now. All impending doom and such. Grawr.
Byron is proving that he can hack it, even in the toughest of situations.
Come to think of it, people, if Scipio is infatuated – kind of – with Miss Whatshername (the Elf riding a giant elk is this page), doesn’t that put her in concurrence with Frigg ?
I hope it will not break into a cat fight. I wood’nt want to see pointy ears being punched uncouscious by the Red Madness.
If panel 5 was a wallpaper, shut up and take my money. (admittedly not very much of it to take right now, but still.)
If panel 5 were to become (or has already become) a wallpaper or poster print, shut up and take my money!
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