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New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

Flammable Wood Elves. Who knew?

Chapter 18 – Page 17

on September 5, 2012
Chapter: Chapter 18
└ Tags: Auraugu, Byron, Gr'Zl, Harky
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Discussion (82) ¬

  1. centuriancode
    centuriancode
    September 5, 2012, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Well, Gr’zl, that’s always the problem when you fan the flames of war.

    • Taxil Necrobane
      Taxil Necrobane
      September 5, 2012, 12:38 am | # | Reply

      well he’s really adding too much fuel to this fire if you ask me.

      • biggmac
        biggmac
        September 5, 2012, 12:48 am | # | Reply

        Old name: Gr’zl
        New name: S’zl…. or Cinderfella

        • Llama118
          Llama118
          September 5, 2012, 1:59 am | # | Reply

          Down, down, down, in a burnin’ ring of fire

          • Thomas
            Thomas
            August 17, 2013, 7:21 am | # | Reply

            I spy, with my little eye, fire flying towards this guy.

    • ahdok
      ahdok
      September 5, 2012, 3:36 am | # | Reply

      FIRE IN THE HOLD

      • A random human
        A random human
        September 5, 2012, 4:13 am | # | Reply

        “Burn, baby !! Burn !!” *starts dancing*

        • Logos
          Logos
          September 5, 2012, 4:19 pm | # | Reply

          FIIIIIIIIIIYA

          • maggPi
            maggPi
            September 6, 2012, 12:36 am | # | Reply

            “Fire in the Disco,
            Fire in the…
            Taco Bell!
            “Danger, danger!
            High…
            VOLTAGE!!”

    • The Indomitable Eric
      The Indomitable Eric
      September 6, 2012, 3:15 pm | # | Reply

      HUDDA HUDDA HUDDA!

  2. Not now
    Not now
    September 5, 2012, 12:13 am | # | Reply

    Oh no, not Tectonicus! I’d totally forgotten about him!

  3. Joseph
    Joseph
    September 5, 2012, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Oh, that doesn’t look good.

    Do not call up that which you cannot put down.

  4. Mordecai
    Mordecai
    September 5, 2012, 12:28 am | # | Reply

    HELLO LADIES. LOOK AT YOUR WOOD ELF. NOW BACK TO ME. NOW BACK TO YOUR WOOD ELF, NOW BACK TO ME. SADLY, HE ISN’T ME, BUT IF HE STOPPED WORSHIPPING LADY-SCENTED DEITIES, HE WOULDN’T BE BURNING TO A CINDER IN THE ALL-CONSUMING FLAMES OF MY WRATH. LOOK DOWN, LOOK UP, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU’RE IN A FOREST CONSUMED BY THE GOD WHOSE SACRED FLAMES YOUR WOOD ELF WAS INCINERATED BY. WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND? I HAVE IT. IT’S THE ARM OF YOUR WOOD ELF GODDESS BEING SACRIFICED TO WAKE ME FROM MY DREAD SLUMBER. THE ELF GODDESS ARM IS NOW A MERE STICK BLAZING IN THE HEAT OF MY TERRIBLE POWER. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU WORSHIP THE FIRE LORD OF THE SAVAGE RACES. I’M RISING UP THROUGH THE EARTH.

    • Taxil Necrobane
      Taxil Necrobane
      September 5, 2012, 12:34 am | # | Reply

      i think you EARNED a gold star for that one!

    • Thund3rbird
      Thund3rbird
      September 5, 2012, 8:14 am | # | Reply

      Excellence in its purest form right here. Mordecai wins the internet for today.

    • Sabreur
      Sabreur
      September 5, 2012, 10:55 am | # | Reply

      Do… do you have a brand of personal care products I can buy?

      • Tachyon
        Tachyon
        September 5, 2012, 12:02 pm | # | Reply

        Define “personal care”.

        Though I bet he sells space heaters, carbon paper, and charcoal :3

    • Loki
      Loki
      September 5, 2012, 11:41 am | # | Reply

      What’s that burning in the distance? It’s a stadium filled with all the world’s performers of That Thing You Hate.

      Also, bravo.

    • Phil
      Flo
      September 5, 2012, 12:06 pm | # | Reply

      I lol’d.

    • Overkillengine
      Overkillengine
      September 5, 2012, 2:29 pm | # | Reply

      Platinum star maybe?

    • Logos
      Logos
      September 5, 2012, 4:20 pm | # | Reply

      I don’t know if you can make a star out of slowclaps, but I’m willing to try for that.

    • biggmac
      biggmac
      September 5, 2012, 8:35 pm | # | Reply

      How about an actual star? I’ll pick one for you and call it Gravedust.
      ‘Cos it’s a white dwarf.

      • maggPi
        maggPi
        September 6, 2012, 12:38 am | # | Reply

        Heh heh!

    • JR
      JR
      September 6, 2012, 1:38 pm | # | Reply

      Well, it seems some assume the elf was burned by tectonicus’ flame. Actually, as Tectonicus was not yet summonded, this shouldn’t be the case. And if you look at panel 1, you’ll see some kind of grenads flying, and on panel 2 one is exploding. Sorry, no flame from heaven (or hell or whatever Tectonicus’ place is), just plain war technology.

      • Andrew
        Andrew
        September 6, 2012, 2:28 pm | # | Reply

        A. Tectonicus is a fire god. Safe to say he considers any fire his fire, even if he wasn’t personally engaged in its creation in a given instance.

        B. It’s a joke, and a call back to all the “auldspices” jokes in the comments when Gr’zl first made his appearance. Sperg less.

        • Phil
          Flo
          September 6, 2012, 2:32 pm | # | Reply

          >”Sperg less.”

          Hey now, that ain’t right. We don’t cotton to that kind of language around these parts.

          • Mordecai
            Mordecai
            September 6, 2012, 2:42 pm | # | Reply

            *sigh* Apologies for my overly enthusiastic white knighting coworker. I’ll talk to him.

            • Phil
              Flo
              September 6, 2012, 3:00 pm | # | Reply

              It’s cool, we just don’t get down with hatespeak around here.

              • Amarikah
                Amarikah
                September 6, 2012, 10:51 pm | # | Reply

                As an autistic person, this is the first time I’ve encountered this slang.
                Thank you for saying something about it, Phil.

                • SotiCoto
                  SotiCoto
                  March 31, 2016, 6:05 am | # | Reply

                  As another, I’d not advocate making a thing out of it.

                  Mundies gonna hate. It isn’t a big deal. Bein sensitive will just get us burned.

  5. Garygolf
    Garygolf
    September 5, 2012, 12:29 am | # | Reply

    ENTER….THE BEAST!

  6. Tsapki
    Tsapki
    September 5, 2012, 12:34 am | # | Reply

    -sighs- It is at this time that I truly lament my lack of bardic skills to compose a homage of One-Winged Angel in Tectonicus’ honor.

    • Loki
      Loki
      September 5, 2012, 11:50 am | # | Reply

      http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/One-Winged_Angel

      The English translation shows that the meaning is surprisingly fitting for Tectonicus:

      Burning inside
      with violent anger
      Burning inside
      with violent anger
      [Sephiroth]
      [Sephiroth]

      REPEAT CHORUS
      Fate – monstrous
      And empty
      Fate – monstrous
      And empty

      REPEAT CHORUS

      Come, come, O come, (Glorious,)
      Do not let me die (Noble)…”

      The only changes I’d make (alas, if only I knew more than a speck of Latin) would be to (a) shorten the lines before the name by one syllable, to make room for Tectonicus being one syllable longer than Sephiroth; and (b) Maybe change ‘Do not let me die’. It seems kind of out of place with Tectonicus, who’s not an angel but a destroyer (well, although he does create ash and fertile soil…)

  7. Taxil Necrobane
    Taxil Necrobane
    September 5, 2012, 12:36 am | # | Reply

    well now, looks like the bad guys never learn about summoning up what they can’t control. i will laugh so hard if they do summon that monster and it turns on THEM and not burn the elves.

    i mean, when they summoned ragnaros up, it did not turn out well for the dark iron dwarfs either.

    • Whatev
      Whatev
      September 5, 2012, 3:03 am | # | Reply

      TOO SOON, HARKY!

    • Tsapki
      Tsapki
      September 5, 2012, 2:51 pm | # | Reply

      Huh, actually I forgot, but didn’t the Dark Iron Dwarfs summon Ragnaros by accident? My Warcraft lore isn’t great but my understanding was that the Dark Iron Dwarfs were losing the War of Three Hammers against the Ironforge and Wildhammer Dwarfs and tried a desperate spell to try and win the war…and ending up tearing Ragnaros from the Elemental Planes in the botched process.

      • Taxil Necrobane
        Taxil Necrobane
        September 5, 2012, 8:39 pm | # | Reply

        you’re close, the dark iron dwarfs did summon Ragnaros in thinking they could swing a deal with him or at least aim his rampage at their foes. well it failed badly. the result was the burning stepps and searing gordge zones.

  8. Fairportfan
    Fairportfan
    September 5, 2012, 12:49 am | # | Reply

    Oh, things look bad for the home team, folks…

  9. biggmac
    biggmac
    September 5, 2012, 1:00 am | # | Reply

    Tectonicus fumed, “I SO hate,
    My fine china”, as his meal he ate
    “The dishes all snap
    And then overlap
    Just because they’re Tectonic plates!”

    • Loki
      Loki
      September 5, 2012, 11:52 am | # | Reply

      Heehee.

    • Taxil Necrobane
      Taxil Necrobane
      September 5, 2012, 8:40 pm | # | Reply

      good one. i smiled.

    • coldelectrons
      coldelectrons
      September 6, 2012, 4:28 am | # | Reply

      Tectonicus: “Yeah…about that. You’re not really my children. At the Mayan Calendar party your mother and I went to…well, I had one soul too many, and passed out…”

      • coldelectrons
        coldelectrons
        September 6, 2012, 4:29 am | # | Reply

        Hm…did it again. I guess session cookies aren’t getting cleared in my browser.

  10. Andreas
    Andreas
    September 5, 2012, 3:03 am | # | Reply

    Some like it hot?
    I figure only gravy and frigg-fragg have the dam(n)age output to even annoy that thing…
    But Syr obviously plans to do science to it, so I guess annoying it will be useful too.

  11. Bartimaeus
    Bartimaeus
    September 5, 2012, 3:22 am | # | Reply

    “Some people just want to watch the world burn.”

    • Taxil Necrobane
      Taxil Necrobane
      September 5, 2012, 8:59 am | # | Reply

      “and their plan is simple… they kill the elves.”

      • Scrunchy
        Scrunchy
        September 5, 2012, 9:46 pm | # | Reply

        “its not about killing the elves, its about sending a message”

        That message being “Die”

  12. ahdok
    ahdok
    September 5, 2012, 3:38 am | # | Reply

    When life gives you Tectonicus, make Tectonicuscous.

    • Phil
      Flo
      September 5, 2012, 12:07 pm | # | Reply

      Gold Star.

  13. Kore
    Kore
    September 5, 2012, 4:39 am | # | Reply

    Gnoll: EARTH!
    Troll: FIRE!
    Avian: WIND!
    Shark: WATER!
    Goblin: HEART!
    Tectonicus: BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM… WELL, JUST FIRE, REALLY! ::::)

    • Robtimus
      Robtimus
      September 5, 2012, 11:45 am | # | Reply

      Thank you. That’s the first thing I thought of looking at panel 4.

  14. krogaladin
    krogaladin
    September 5, 2012, 6:19 am | # | Reply

    we DID start the fire, it was always burning.

  15. dr pepper
    dr pepper
    September 5, 2012, 6:38 am | # | Reply

    Why is Tectonicus the god of fire and not earthquakes?

    • Loki
      Loki
      September 5, 2012, 11:53 am | # | Reply

      Might be. We dunno.

    • Phil
      Flo
      September 5, 2012, 12:07 pm | # | Reply

      Kinda both. More detail about Tectonicus to come in later pages!

    • coldelectrons
      coldelectrons
      September 6, 2012, 4:34 am | # | Reply

      Because Dubsteponicus and Technonicus were already fighting over that title.

    • Andreas
      Andreas
      September 6, 2012, 3:24 pm | # | Reply

      As it reads in his autobiography “Magma Carter”, he’s not just about the movement of the plates, he’s even more about the red hotness that makes them plates move.

  16. Timlagor
    Timlagor
    September 5, 2012, 8:17 am | # | Reply

    Did I miss the glass slipper and pumpkin coach?

    • Logos
      Logos
      September 5, 2012, 4:22 pm | # | Reply

      STOP HAVING MY GRAVATAR.

  17. Elskede
    Elskede
    September 5, 2012, 9:39 am | # | Reply

    Ha. What. Bravo

  18. Elskede
    Elskede
    September 5, 2012, 9:41 am | # | Reply

    Dagnabbit… that was supposed to be a reply to biggmac

    • biggmac
      biggmac
      September 5, 2012, 8:40 pm | # | Reply

      Why thanks! *blushes*

  19. Mr Hats
    Mr Hats
    September 5, 2012, 9:50 am | # | Reply

    The flow is getting a bit confusing, but is that Penk that Byron just kicked off that Rhinosaur? It looks like Byron just eviscerated the guy that was giving him orders a few pages ago. Maybe I’m just reading too much into things

    • Phil
      Flo
      September 5, 2012, 12:09 pm | # | Reply

      It is not Penk.

      If you’re ever unsure of character names, just check the tags.

      • Mr Hats
        Mr Hats
        September 5, 2012, 12:25 pm | # | Reply

        Ah, thanks

      • Seggs
        Seggs
        September 5, 2012, 12:39 pm | # | Reply

        do auraugu and tectonicus get tags for this page?

        • Phil
          Flo
          September 5, 2012, 12:56 pm | # | Reply

          Yes, Auraugu should have gotten a tag. Tectonicus will not. Yet.

          • ahdok
            ahdok
            September 5, 2012, 2:17 pm | # | Reply

            IT’S A PUPPET.

            • biggmac
              biggmac
              September 5, 2012, 8:41 pm | # | Reply

              Chuckietonicus?

          • Taxil Necrobane
            Taxil Necrobane
            September 5, 2012, 8:45 pm | # | Reply

            yet? (thoughts go wild with possablity) did you just tip your hand Mr. Phil? or is Tectonicus not going to make a full appeance just yet?

            • Phil
              Flo
              September 6, 2012, 10:36 am | # | Reply

              He hasn’t made what I’d consider a full appearance on this page. Hence no tags.

              That’s all I’ll tell you.

              • Seggs
                Seggs
                September 6, 2012, 5:53 pm | # | Reply

                does tectonicus’ forehead get a tag for this page?

                • Phil
                  Flo
                  September 6, 2012, 10:20 pm | # | Reply

                  ‘Fraid not.

  20. MDude
    MDude
    September 5, 2012, 10:31 am | # | Reply

    Looks like he has stop and drop down, but will he remember to roll?

  21. ThatDumbRetard
    ThatDumbRetard
    September 5, 2012, 2:38 pm | # | Reply

    My god! Why did we pick today to ban those damned water pistols!?

    • Mujaki
      Mujaki
      September 5, 2012, 9:17 pm | # | Reply

      Because SOMEBODY kept filling them with ranch dressing.
      I’m not going to name names, but they know who they are. And they have only themselves to blame.

      • maggPi
        maggPi
        September 6, 2012, 12:44 am | # | Reply

        It wasn’t me! I filled *mine* with BBQ SAUCE! (mmmmyummy)

      • coldelectrons
        coldelectrons
        September 6, 2012, 4:37 am | # | Reply

        I fill my water pistols with K-Y and superglue.

  22. wwlaos
    wwlaos
    September 6, 2012, 12:01 pm | # | Reply

    Gr’Zl… damn it. I had things to ask you. You have more experience with courting Wood Elves than I. Is a topiary in bad taste as a gift? What’s with all that sap, is that stuff safe? Is this rash normal?

    • zomg
      zomg
      September 6, 2012, 12:11 pm | # | Reply

      Exactly!

    • ahdok
      ahdok
      September 6, 2012, 3:23 pm | # | Reply

      All you need to know is that her bark is worse than her bite.

  23. Balmung
    Balmung
    September 14, 2012, 1:38 am | # | Reply

    I’m so mad…I just finished reading through 3 years worth of webcomic in two months (Slowwwwly enjoying it) and now I get to this latest page only to find I missed the 3 year anniversary page?! Last week! T_____T

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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