New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
Guilded Age
The Saga of the Working Class Adventurer – New comics every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!
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Maybe you coughed/mumbled the last word? You’re just lucky that you don’t have a horde of Deadites at your door right now, D.
Maybe he’s putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable?
Or perhaps saying it without the right rhythm. Or maybe he needs to light the candle during the ceremony.
Maybe he’s not doing the right hand movements, or he doesn’t have something placed right on the table.
Maybe it’s Maybelline
May-be, May-be, May-be Oh~
Like, May-be, May-be, May-be No~
Mayhaps he should speaketh like thee Mighty Thor doeth for all doth knoweth Magick doth worketh in ye olde Englishe.
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!
Oh R’lyeh?
NYA RLY
Gold Star please?
Gold stars don’t happen by request! they have to be earned. Like a proper yelling at.
Truth.
NO GOLD STAR FOR YOOOOU!
which amusingly enough is pronounced “the old english” the y is an artifact caused by the dutch cornering the printingpress manufacture not having a letter english did(pronounced “th”) and people using y because it was the closest match(when handwritten anyway) and you figured out which it intended to represent was through context. ye= þe = the
Maybe he should try it with a funny accent.
Oh man, how many times have i not messed up an incantation because of some small misstake. I mean take for example that time i tried to summon Cthulhu, it all went well until i came to the entire fhtagn part and before i knew it i woke up a month later in the deserts of Egypt naked and with eldritch symbols written in blood all over my body.
Boy, did i have some explanation to do to my parents after that one…
It’s LeviOOHsa, not LevioSAH!
Don’t forget the swish and flick. Swish, then flick.
You’re going to put someone’s eye out that way, seriously.
I knew it! I knew they weren’t going to settle the whole “is it real” thing yet! This is probably all we’ll get on the topic for a while so… crazy theory time!
I am slightly mollified.
I look forward to further developments. And also to posts from people complaining about people who complain.
Seconding the slight mollification. I can at least get a sense of where the story is going now, even though I’m not clear on why D is the villain.
Technically no one (or thing) ever said D is the villain. There was simply a picture of D with the alt text saying “the one where the true villain is revealed” (or something like that) but the image and the text aren’t necessarily related. If anything the authors have proven themselves quite capable of leading the audience to think one thing while the plot moves in a different direction.
Kinda like Best isn’t just your typical douche or Arkerra isn’t quite “not real”.
Indeed, people are assuming HRD is the badguy because he has a ‘stache.
Well, you know, the resemblance to John Bolton.
HRG. Get the joke?
Well, seeing as he made the game (or oversaw its production, or cast a spell or whatever), and is responsible for bringing the “players” into Akerra, anything that happens while they are there is (in)directly his fault. I know that when I DM the game I made, the players are rolling against me. Point is, he is effectively the DM of the game.
True the DM runs the baddies, BUT the DM also runs your NPC cleric, the blacksmith, and that cute barmaid you bedded last time you were in town (eww). And the DM can also say “Get out of the tubes and go home guys, games over. I’ll see ya next sunday”
The secretary did it. It’s always the person they show you but don’t seem to do much with. <..>
Yeah laptops are a bitch to fix, you basically have to buy a new one every time it breaks down.
Fyi maybe try reading the rest of the grimoire, not just the two middle pages.
You mean, the part marked “Ye reft of ye Ffection in whiche ye Ffpell if revealede?”
my toshiba would like to argue that point.
granted, fixing them ain’t easy…
You are frightfully inadequate for a deity, Big D. We will not be shut down!
Chapter 9, Page 22 – In which we suddenly realized the audience is the BBEG (or at least his ego).
Those other pages are all blank. Nobody buys an ancient arcane pamphlet, they need to pad it out.
“This Page Intentionally Left Blank.”
So they got technomancy, and the people are stuck in the world. I figure that gives the current situation enough weight that I am once again as interested in their plight as when I didn’t think they were just playing an unusually immersive computer game.
I’m not saying the chapter so far had turned me off, just that it had lessened the impact of what’s happening in the story for me.
I have to say that it has heightened my interest. Is is creation, or is it tapping something… else….
. . . Because Payet is SUPREMELY comfortable hiding in that closet. . .
Sorry, that’s the Best I can do, I’m not used to being amongst the early commenters . . .
If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say that they need to get THEMSELVES out . . . Which might be how that other videogame D mentioned ties in. The plot thickens . . . (Good thing too, I can’t stand a runny plot).
Cheers,
Cote
“I’m afraid the plot’s a bit runny, sir.”
“Oh, I like it runny.”
“Well, I’m afraid it’s a bit too runny.”
“I don’t care how fucking runny it is; fetch me the plot de la belle France…mm!”
ahem.
…”The cat’s eaten it.”…
Sorry, just taking this quote to it’s logical conclusion.
You may now carry on.
I wish to return this plot, it’s dead.
No, it’s just resting.
Beautiful plumage, the Norwegian Waltrip.
Resting while it pines for the fjordes (or possibly Holdens, if it once ran on the Commodore 64).
Now I am thinking of a random strange game a friend of mine made…
Man, I shouldn’t have read this before bed. Now I’m going to be up trying to figure out how to pronounce “krss”.
My first thought is khuh-riss, then something like curse, then kiss.
I was actually thinking kriss…
While quite difficult to do in English, it’s not at all a problem in other languages.
In Romanian, for example, that would read very similar to the English word “curse”.
In German, it would sound like “Car SS”.
In French, “que ress”.
Take your pick.
What about in Latin? Which is a dead language, yet thousands of people speak it. Go figure.
Zombie Romans!!!!
That might have been D’s problem…
It’s pronounced ‘steve’.
Considering the colour of the magical emanation I’d say the source of HR’s arcane powers is in his tie.
There’s the problem, then.
A Power Tie is supposed to be red, not purple!
It is red. We’re just seeing HR’s world through blue tinted glasses…
But it’s an “Eldritch Power” tie. Purple is correct.
If video games are any indication, the purple of his tie and his magic make him a definitive evil.
Also, gravity. Purple means evil and gravity.
das too funny… now all i can see is his tie in that panel
I LOVE the alt text. <3
HAH! I love it. It’s like third panel is a direct rebuttal to the people waving goodbye because Arkerra isn’t ‘real’.
I’m becoming more interested in H.R. as a character, on a side note. Is he actually Bandit? Why is his face so impassive? Where’s this arcanomancy coming from?
Oho! So the “villain” might not be as villainous as I originally suspected!
Yes… this man isn’t trying to leech these people of content, nor is he trying to KEEP them enslaved, he’s trying to SAVE them!
Unexpected!
Or maybe he’s trying to pull them out just to see if he can … then he can put ‘em back in. For laughs. EVIL LAUGHS.
I will now set in motion my plan to BURN DOWN THE ORPHANAGE.
And in it’s place I will build…
a BIGGER…
BETTER…
…orphange!
MUHAHAHAHAA!
The most dangerous villains are often the ones convinced they’re doing the right thing. Maybe he ought to be taking the hint and leaving them be.
I’m sure that’d be easy to explain if the authorities ever came looking for them.
“Yes, officer, these is the missing party in these here tubes. They’re not dead, they’re just floating here in my makeshift medical lab while I do magic to them.”
“All right sir, carry on then. Oh, but no summoning of Eldritch Horrors. We had enough of that last Tuesday.”
He’s insane in the mainframe.
He’s going insane?
He’s insane in the mainframe.
Insane in the game.
Insane in the Membrane.
Nutty as squirrel poop.
Mad as a pond.
Few tacos short of a combo platter.
WWWWWHACKO!
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Not all there in this case means there is nothing left.
“And why am I staring at a fat naked guy in a tube while I monologue?”
Because he’s staring back…?
Maybe he digs bears?
There’s nothing good on tv?
See, the problem is that you have no red pills.
If I am what?
Their god. It’s a reference to the previous strip.
It’s not so much a reference as a continuation :)
Indeed. See in point of fact this page takes place directly after the previous page. Like a sequel.
Oh I’ll pick your nit one day, you’ll see…
I love that the screen we’re shown “breaking” is that of Best’s *w* AND I DON’T KNOW WHYYYYYY
anyone else getting Tad Williams’ “Otherland” vibes here?
Nope. But we may be looking at a “Quag Keep” event here.
Woah. The colors man.
And yeah, laptops are a bitch to fix. if the screen goes, you just have to get a new one
For heaven’s sake guys! this guy runs a company that makes the equivalent of World of Warcraft, and you’re saying “good thing it only cost them £347?
This company earns millions of dollars, £347 is nothing!
$347. Not £347
Maybe D is evil because he’s a pinch penny.
They’re worth the same amount when computers are concerned.
Hey, it’s 347 dollars. That’s real Canadian cash, not some fiddly Third-Word currency.
I thought Canadian money was a looney or something. ./ignorant
It makes me feel weird when I think that I remember when the looney was put into place. It’s just such a fixture now. Canada doesn’t use bills for single or double dollars. It’s practically a definitive characteristic of our currency.
Everybody knows what Canadian currency is, Hawk. They use maple leaves, duh.
*is shot*
Looks like his money wasn’t good here.
/sunglasses
YAAAAAUGH
Maybe they use maple liquor. I’d agree to be paid in that stuff. It’s fucking amazing.
Probably the real cost is that he’s going to have to replace that thing himself. He can’t exactly just tell the IT staff to go into the super-secret lab.
Man, you can replace a laptop LCD panel. It’s not that hard.
Heh. My brother got a lucky break on that one.
His screen shorted out and the people form the Laptop Service Centre told him “get a new one, it’s cheaper”.
Coincidentally, my sister had spilled a whole wine bottle on her laptop about a month prior and completely obliterated all the main components, but the screen had remained unaffected, so my brother took that apart and found out that the only differences between the screens were a few mounting screw holes in the chassis. Both screens where exactly the same model, manufactured by the same company in Taiwan, and, mind you, one laptop was a Dell and the other was manufactured by Asus…
the colors. they do nothing.
Thing is that I can’t help but think, “A laptop? Pffft. Now some sort of ‘built into the wall multi-screen job? THAT looks expensive.”
You can’t get them out because you forgot to establish a safe-word before you started.
Armageddon?
“Sir, what do you mean by Armageddon?”
“Armageddon outta here.”
Or maybe a really tough fire wall?
Maybe he just forgot his password?
oh man, now I have the last teaser for that godawful “Idiot Abroad” show in my head. That guy had a RIDICULOUS safe word…I don’t think it was even a word. Gah!
Call Arcano-IT! A robed nerd enters, his very being emanating waves of techno-rectifying energies.
“Sir, have you tried closing the book, opening it, and reciting the incantation once more…?”
The three Rs of technomancy: re-read, re-open, re-write?
Lost the can opener.
Interesting interesting. So he’s not in control of the situation and has no idea what’s happening. Meddling in forces he does not understand for fun and profit. I can dig it. Good building block for exciting times. Let’s see how it’s used.
Aside from that I don’t see too much development. Imply that the world might maybe possibly be a fabrication, then imply that potentially the world might perhaps be real.
Nothing close to reliable information has happened these last two panels, and yet I still feel like I’ve learned, and I don’t doubt the significance and relevance of these last two pages at all. Well done.
It’s “In’o do rha”, not “In’o do cha” you fool!
In-a-ga-da-vida, bay-bee!
Inna-gadda-da-vida, bay-bee!
Wow. I’m wrong again.
I don’t know why but for some reason I broke into a wide grin when I read this page, I’m pretty sure Byron’s flipping out was the last time that happened and here I thought I was losing interest in this comic. Jolly good show, guys.
Just realized, aside from the wizard D’wentin what Sundar briefly and obliquely referenced… Daedalus is the only real wizard we’ve seen so far. And a technomage at that.
Yeah, magic has been referenced in such a way that we know it exists within the universe. The sky elves. The cultist’s talking amulet. The Sundar conversation you mentioned explaining the local economy. As a whole though it doesn’t really get used. Syrnj plays the role of a cleric/mage in some ways, and Gravedust has some mystical talents, but in point of fact the party has no caster type and we don’t really see them elsewhere.
I group that with the ways they eschew the trappings of generic fantasy. The first on screen caster type being a technomage would certainly be in keeping with that.
I think ol’ D forgot something. He made up this game world (or so he thinks) and developed this great game (or so he thinks) but it seems to me that what he did was rush forward with the shiny new technomantics and either didn’t budget for, or didn’t bother with, any research…
I suppose all the money was spent on huge candles.
And mustache grooming supplies.
And that tie
I would have thought lighting effects XD
yep. it was the tie. too much D and not enough R in his R&D department….
It is painfully obvious why he is not succeeding… he is using Windows.
Ah, but if we’d been dealing with an Apple-based universe there’d have been no room for land-sharks, or Frigg.
I could see Linux, though. A very do-it-yourself universe.
Onwards to speculation… When D tries to bring them back, Best’s screen malfunctions…. can this be a result of the Uber Relic/Artefact he was about to dig out? Can the Blue Spirit be the Villain? Or even Best himself after getting hold of said Relic/Artefact and suffering some catharsis?
Well that’s it, I think I’m done.
I was content to read the comic while it was a Sci Fi ghost-in-the-machine epic, but now there is a fantasy element? I think it’s time to move on. I mean, I gave it a chance for three whole pages but obviously the creators are more interested in making their own comic then pandering to my specific niche.
And it’s not like my entire self-image is completely entangled in my need to complain about everything on the internet. But if you don’t change your style, story, web design, personal appearance and the name of your first born to my every whim, then I will keep talking about how much I hate it and am not going to read it… even though I obviously still am.
I object to your complaint, and your suggestion that this comic is not perfect in all ways. I insult your intelligence, belittle your taste in clothing, and question your sexuality.
non-sequitur
Using the non-sequitur as an excuse to go on a tangent, I will now pontificate elaborately on my newest theory, which will be thoroughly disproven by the next page of the story.
*Hem, hem.* This is my theory. By A. Macher. Bracket Miss bracket. This is my theory, and it is mine, and what it is too.
I am now going to whine about your whining. Following this, another commenter will whine about my whining about your whining.
Then a chain of puns will begin, and order will be restored.
Okay lil’ Colfax. Enhance your calm.
I tried, but the woman telling the story in that comic made my lower regions anything BUT calm. >.<
That’s totally hypocritical. I’m going to passive-aggressively complain that it’s not fair for you to whine about whining because that too is whining, and at least *my* whining is *pure*.
I do enjoy a fine whine. Particularly with cheese(y puns).
I’m not sure . . . but I THINK I smell sarcasm.
Just a whiff.
Cheers,
Cote
Well at least things start to make sense.
Perhaps it WOULD have worked, except that Best is still alive and well.
It’s simple. We must…*shades on* Payet forward.
YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!!
*music by The Who*
Cost of most recent attempt, $347. Cost of last attempt, over $2,000. Cost of having imprisoned five poor, unfortunate souls in a virtual purgatory? Priceless.
I endorse this product or service.
Okay, just let me get some info down on what you plan to use this for… Registration purposes, you understand…
“Space Paranoids”? Alright. That sounds pretty harmless.
It’s “mostly harmless”, actually.
Ah; Didn’t catch that this joke had been done.
That’s right, pal! This is like Monopoly, you’d better pay up for using it! Or trade me a railroad! I like the railroads! They’re key to winning the game!
(It’s fine, really. Unless you really have a railroad to trade.)
For everything else, there’s Mastercard. Accepted most places, including parallel game-based world Arkterra.
So it’s Best’s monitoring PC/Screen that goes Ka-bzzzzzzt! Was he trying to get Best out? Think this translated to anything in Best’s current experience?
Another thing – We just saw interviews with all these folks. Are we thinking the interviews were filmed before they entered the tubes and became “trapped?” I’m remembering what [IRL]Byron said in his interview and that seems to make sense. He described his hope for what it would be, so I guess that means he hadn’t experienced it yet.
I hope Best is OK!
… what? I do!
Ooooh maybe Best just got hit by random god-lightning!
They were being interviewed before they started testing the system, this was made pretty clear at the time :)
It seems like that was very public. I wonder how they’re covering up the problem.
…Mostly by directing anyone who asks to the naked lady in Battlepug.
0_0 ah… She has indeed answered all my questions
Works for me.
Somehow, this strip makes me content. Still weary of the direction the strip has taken, but this serves as some consolation and renewed some of my interest in the series.
I was saddened at the way the whole “reality” shift was going, until this page. Excited for more!
I’d just like to note that that is a really awkward way to open a door like that. First he has to push the handle down with the wrong hand, then he pushes the door open with the back of his arm.
No wonder he has to hold onto the doorframe to keep from falling into the room!
Somehow I really, really want to know what those windows are saying, on the different “player” screens. And what’s the error on Best’s?
yeah, I’ve spent a few moments trying to enhance it, but- no dice.
404: Shovel and will to dig Not Found
He forgot to put on his robe and wizard hat, duh.
Conversely, when next my wizard needs to cast something, I’m going to put on a fucking purple tie.
oh my god D is Bloodninja?! No WONDER he fails
TS: Arcanometric Tech Support, what is the nature of your magical malfunction?
D: I’ve been attempting to extract five souls from a synthetic universe, I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong.
TS: First thing sir, have you made sure your Seal of Forbidden Knowledge is in the “on” position?
D: Yes that’s the first thing I checked.
TS: Have you updated your Universe’s Drivers recently?
D: Yes just last week.
TS: In what phase of the moon did you attempt this ritual?
D: Gibbous, but I don’t see what…
TS: I’m sorry sir your warranty does not cover mistimed ritual repair, you might consider summoning a daemon for advice if you have a current copy of the Software Key of Solomon.
D: You’re telling me there’s nothing…
TS: I’m very sorry sir, the balance of this call will be deducted from your immortal soul.
The length and quality of this post combined with your name equals one big fat fucking Gold Star. Kudos.
Thunderous standing ovation
I had to go get a hat, just so I could take it off to you.
You sir, win the comments for this page. I tip my giant paper d20 at you
That’s what I call time well lost.
Ha, at the time I didn’t know if I was being funny or stupid, it’s always a toss-up with me.
Thanks for the positive feedback, I may risk attempting humor again some time, you have only yourselves to blame.
HUZZAH
Have you tried unplugging one of them, and blowing down the connectors, then hooking them back up?
You waxing gibbous!
Scratch my feeble attempt, hilarious.
Why hello there, previously-unconsidered-even-in-the-comments-section angle. How are you?
Half the fun of this comic is the comments section.
Amen.
Finally worked out what he was saying in the first panel– they are anagrams:
“Oh no, acid!”
“Hack art skews!”
…. well, maybe. :)
well one of those is right.
Cast Wet Shark?
Ask War Sketch?
Ask, Wretch! ASK!
I vote Cast Wet Shark 8D
Bandit failed Use Magic Device check…
Not by much though. Lets hope no ones are rolled now.
It’s not very effective.
Oh hecta it all. I’m going for a beer.
In’o if that’s such a good idea. Do cha think?
Five colored tubes: $2,430.
Eight attempts releasing “gaming pioneers” from tubes: $3,912.
Hush money to keep “gaming pioneers'” families quiet: $2,000/month, each.
Full comprehension of arcanometry and associated godhood: Priceless.
There’s no death golds for imates or homeless.
Yeah, whatever Hornet just said, buddy! I already made that joke! Granted, yours was in deeper detail and it’s not exactly original to begin with, I don’t appreciate people riding on my coattails!
(My short, imaginary coattails…)
I do wonder, given the shattering of Best’s screen, whether the reason he can’t get them out is the fact that Best isn’t presently dead in-game.
If that’s the case, he’d have an altruistic reason to play the Adversary; he has to kill them all if he wants to bring ‘em home.
I expect his motivations are a little more selfish than that, though. That’s generally the way, with wizards.
IA IA, CTHULA FTAGN.
Drizzle, drazzle, drozzle, drome!
Time for these five to come home!
“Mr. Arcanomancer! I don’t wanna be a war-gamer anymore!”
Dating myself?
Oh Mr. D… are y ou saying these gamers need to get out more?
You are a card!
I’m thinking, the reason the screen that broke was focusing on Best is just that the only screen of importance at the moment is the one focusing on the only guy who’s still alive.
A moral framework has been restored. I can resume digesting this comic leisurely.
Only Dr. Doom mixes magic and technology with success, . . . with the exception of that whole scarred face thing.
Also, two hundredth comment on this page, just to round things off. OCD? What’s that?
For some reason this sort of reminds me of the 80s D&D cartoon.
Oh no no no. We start in a fantasy, then it turns out to be embedded in science fiction, then that science fiction turns out to be magic-based fantasy.
Sorry, that’s just silly.
No, it only becomes too silly if that in turn is embedded in a series of sketches from a British comedy troupe of the 70s and 80s.
Confused but at least I am starting to like the story again.