Annotated 14-9
From the script: “The mood of the bar and the surrounding area is dark. Most of the ugliness in the air is because of contempt for Bandit, and for what she represents in Gastonian society. But what she’s saying does show a deep understanding of her own people, enough to make her words carry some weight, and stir some suspicions.”
Earlier draft had Kepfer ducking under the bar, not really wanting a damaging fight to take place there but knowing he was not able to stop it. In this version, Kepfer hates Keynes so much that he is actually willing to risk his property and even, to some degree, his patrons.
And oh, I’d completely forgotten this! In the early drafts, Hewie was actually Basher, a fighter with a, um, straightforward name and concept. The “I know you’re sayin’ words” line grew out of his personality, but it suits Hewie well enough in this context.
Your pages got out of order somehow. This one is inserted in-between page 7 and page 8.
Thanks, this should now be fixed.
I commented this on the previous page, but I think it broke the “Prev” button on page 8 that now redirects here.
Bandit, an intellectual: [Important information that changes everything!]
Keeper, Hewie and Pyre, idiots: “NUH-UH!”